My ex boyfriend phoned me last night????

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by peachy1982, 16 August 2007 Social URL.

  1. peachy1982

    peachy1982 Silver Member

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    Hello all,
    Well last night out of the blue I had a conversation with my ex - from about 6 years ago. We were best friends before we got together and being a couple broke up our relationship.
    He still lives up in Scotland and I am very happy with my relationship with my boyfried of 5 years but this phonecall has confused my head to no end. We were best friends and had a good laugh together.
    He is in a new relationship and seems settled and happy and on the phone he told me that he felt that he had to call me as he felt he made a big mistake by not keeping in touch.
    But i don't know what to do???????
    I still care for him as a friend but nothing else and i would like to get back in touch but not sure how to approach the subject with my OH as i am sure he would feel a bit threatened.
    Maybe i should just forget about it - he has not been patr of my life for years so maybe we wouldn't even get on anymore.
    what do you all think?
    clare
     
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  3. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    I think no matter how well balanced your current BF is he will be jealous, thats the way they are designed IMO!

    Also, you sound very unsure, so why risk anything for someone who has not been a part of your life for so long?

    There you go, there's my 2penneth!
     
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  4. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    Wonder why hes thought about ringing you ? Just tell the bloke your with now that hes phoned and see how he acts if hes really not happy about you being friends then maybe its best to leave things the way they were . Thats if you want to stay in contact with him .
     
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  5. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    non dieting life sounds great barb ! bet it sounds great to you too !
     
  6. peachy1982

    peachy1982 Silver Member

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    Will mention it casually tonight to my bloke and see what he says. If its gonna cause friction then there is no point in keeping in touch, as my current boyfriend means much more to me than a friend who hasn't bothered to call in all this time.

    peachy
    x
     
  7. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    True , good thinking !
     
  8. xxluckyxx

    xxluckyxx Silver Member

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    Hi Peachy
    Sounds like a situation we all long for but then when it happens , emotions and thought go soaring thru the sky !

    My thinking is ....brush it off ! nice that this ex has thought about you and rung you . but now im thinking maybe you should just leave it as that was nice .

    Upto you , really . but i think you could bring up all sorts of hidden feelings if you dont brush it off .

    Takecare peachy and good luck . xxx
     
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  9. Nessa

    Nessa Silver Member

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    sorry i had to reply to this... as my ex boyfriend who i went with for 4 years got back in touch with me after so long, he now emails me every day to tell me about how in love he is with this girl called sarah (who has a baby with a bloke called ben, but wants an open relationship or so she says with dan, my ex, very long winded situation) he is now saying that he needs to get over sarah as he don't want an open relationship with her, it's all or nothing,which is fair enough, in the mean time is is talking about bedding this 16 year old to "get over sarah" (he is 27 this year) although he keep telling me how much he love sarah,but how good this 16 year old looks and is offering it to him on a platter, oh my god he is doing my head in... why is he talking to me about all this????
     
  10. peachy1982

    peachy1982 Silver Member

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    Nessa,
    you say your ex is 27 so he is still young enough to be excused for his behaviour. Mine is 42.
    I was 18 when we were together and he was 35 - so you'd think he would know what he was doing by now.
    He is seeing a 24 year old who his mother says is the spit of me - which freaks me out. He was always a brunette lover till he met me and his girlfriends since me have always been younger and blonde like me. But he says he is really happy with Paula and they have been together a while now and he just wants to get his old friends back and stuff.
    It makes me happy to see that he is getting on with his life i need to be 100% convinced that he is over me before we continue our friendship as it would ruin it. Also i need to be 100% certain that Kevin (myOH) feels ok about us being in contact.
    so will speak with kev tonight and until then am avoiding any contact
    peachy
    x
     
  11. Nessa

    Nessa Silver Member

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    why are blokes like that? i just don't understand them you know. would you like to be friends with you ex?
     
  12. peachy1982

    peachy1982 Silver Member

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    I would love to be friends with him but just worry that he may want something else and i made that very clear last night , he assures me thats not why he contacted me (but i don't think he would have told me if it was what he wanted). We used to have great fun together as friends and have fond memories together.
    its just a shame that all those memories will go to waste
    peachy
    x
     
  13. Bagpuss

    Bagpuss Full Member

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    Think really carefully about this one hon. I did the same 2 years ago - an ex got in touch out of the blue, and it all seemed roses and long lost friendships. My DH seemed cool with it but deep down he wasn't, though it took about a year for him to blurt it out; it also stirred up painful memories for me and created a whole bunch of new ones. It happened gradually and I felt in control of it, just an old friend, blah blah, but it created so many problems over time. You have to question why he's picking up the phone at this point in time, too - is he lonely for friends, is he really that happy in his relationship, is he looking for a bit of frisson? My advice would be DON'T open Pandora's box on this one. If I could go back, I would not have gone there. It has spoiled even the happy memories I had of him.
     
    Last edited: 16 August 2007
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  14. Lynn8124

    Lynn8124 Gold Member

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    I think that the past should stay in the past. If yous were meant to be lifelong mates that would've continued after the break up but as you said it ruined things. Mentioning it to your bf could cause unnecessary hassle but it is your decision.
    Good luck.:)
     
  15. skinnymonkey1day

    skinnymonkey1day Silver Member

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    let sleeping dogs lie

    you should let sleeping dogs lie. if u were meant to stay together then you would still be together now. just concentrate on your relationship now. x
     
  16. peachy1982

    peachy1982 Silver Member

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    OK,
    Think I have come to my conclusion.
    It was nice to hear from him but we will never be best friends anyway. We live 400 miles away from each other so not like we would be doing friend stuff anyway. If i bump into him when i visit home then i will be friendly to him but keeping in touch for the sake of it does seem like a bit of an unecessary problem. Better to remember things the way they used to be.
    thanks for all your advise girls
    clare
     
  17. Bagpuss

    Bagpuss Full Member

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    I really admire your strength of mind, Clare. I wish I'd had it!
     
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  19. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    Maybe you are good at listening nessa , maybe the 16 year old wants a baby and think i know i will have him as the daddy lol
     
  20. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    I guess if you was single peachy it really would not matter but it might spoil things for you , really dont know , i think alot of men think you can't have male friends .
     
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