My FIL - RANT!!
- Thread starter Jim
- Start date
ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
Oh Jim how utterly frustrating! I hope they see sense and get the mental health assessment back soon, that might sort things out 
mommyB
love it
Dont mean to play devil's advocate here but i am sure jim, that gem posted something once when one of my girls had a urine infection and was really playing up-cant find it now but it did mention that it can affect behaviour and cause confusion. Not saying that you dont need the help and support that you are clearly not getting, but also they may not be totally wrong either
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Yes - a urine infection can cause confusion, especially in elderly people but this has been going on for a long time and needs to be addressed properly. I do hope they don't send him home at Christmas - it is a really bad time to be coming home and getting services started. Then there is the weather to think about - the carers have enough trouble getting to their regulars let alone an extra one. Hospital is the place for them to assess his needs and maybe if they do it properly they will come to the right decision x
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
We were watching Casualty the other day and they were talking about "Granny dumping" at Christmas. I said to OH - "There are two sides to that story aren't there". How can you continue being "all things to all people" when "care fatigue" is a very real thing and what you are trying to do is like banging your head against a brick wall and may not even be the best thing for the person concerned.
The only way to get a proper assessment is when everything breaks down and something happens to put the person in hospital - otherwise things go on unchecked with overstreached carers doing what they can within impossible schedules with little time to see the "real life" issues and many hours when no-one knows what is happening x
The only way to get a proper assessment is when everything breaks down and something happens to put the person in hospital - otherwise things go on unchecked with overstreached carers doing what they can within impossible schedules with little time to see the "real life" issues and many hours when no-one knows what is happening x
Jim
Big Boy
exactly Gem, My poor Colleen is exhausted, five years of it with her mum and then as soon as she passed away it started with Jack, the last ten years have been hell. People who aren't in this position just don't understand, you know, we are both working and have our own home and life to consider and yet we are having to care for an old man and his home, fair enough if he wasn't a problem, but he is, in fact he is a major problem.
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
When my Dad had his first major stroke in 2003 a few people assumed I would give up work and become a full time carer as my mum had some problems too. I felt the pressure but could not really have considered it as I had too many financial commitments. In any case I don't think I would have hacked the full-time carer thing, much as I loved them.
I was well over-stretched though as everything was happening 12 miles from home. At one point they were both in hospital but not in the same one. The hospitals were 3/4 miles apart, both with parking charges and parking problems and to boot I had an elderly aunt I was trying to give a few visits to at a hospital at the other point of the triangle.
When it all kicked off properly in 2005 and my Dad was really ill (he died in the September) I was actually off work with a back injury having been assaulted at school so was able to "be around". The driving was difficult and the shopping had to be put in lots of bags so that I could carry it but I coped. Before that I had been dealing with all the issues while holding down a full-time demanding job. It takes its toll.
When Dad died there was just Mum to deal with but that became difficult as it became apparent that she didn't just have depression but altzhimers too. There then followed 3 crazy years when I didn't know whether I was coming or going.
She went into hospital with a chest infection in Dec 2007 - a couple of days later she was fine - then the hospital infections kicked in and she nearly lost her life several times. By the time she came out in April 2008 there was no doubt that she had to go into a nursing home but even then I had a hard time from the ward sister who seemed to think I was just trying to offload her. The hospital social worker stepped in and said that there was no way they would support a return to her flat and that was that x
I was well over-stretched though as everything was happening 12 miles from home. At one point they were both in hospital but not in the same one. The hospitals were 3/4 miles apart, both with parking charges and parking problems and to boot I had an elderly aunt I was trying to give a few visits to at a hospital at the other point of the triangle.
When it all kicked off properly in 2005 and my Dad was really ill (he died in the September) I was actually off work with a back injury having been assaulted at school so was able to "be around". The driving was difficult and the shopping had to be put in lots of bags so that I could carry it but I coped. Before that I had been dealing with all the issues while holding down a full-time demanding job. It takes its toll.
When Dad died there was just Mum to deal with but that became difficult as it became apparent that she didn't just have depression but altzhimers too. There then followed 3 crazy years when I didn't know whether I was coming or going.
She went into hospital with a chest infection in Dec 2007 - a couple of days later she was fine - then the hospital infections kicked in and she nearly lost her life several times. By the time she came out in April 2008 there was no doubt that she had to go into a nursing home but even then I had a hard time from the ward sister who seemed to think I was just trying to offload her. The hospital social worker stepped in and said that there was no way they would support a return to her flat and that was that x
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Nah... it was quite a while ago now Jim - I only mentioned it because I know what it's like with health/care/hospital/social services/nursing homes etc.
None of it is what you want for them but neither is being at risk in their own home. My mum had a fall one day and was lying in the hallway for a couple of hours. If I hadn't logged into the system that showed me where she was on the computer and realised there was no movement since she had gone from the bathroom into the hall she could have been there until her evening carer came in some hours later. I rang the emergency people and they spoke to her over the intercom, heard her voice, sent for the paramedics and called me back. It was a disaster waiting to happen as she had mobility problems and memory problems x
None of it is what you want for them but neither is being at risk in their own home. My mum had a fall one day and was lying in the hallway for a couple of hours. If I hadn't logged into the system that showed me where she was on the computer and realised there was no movement since she had gone from the bathroom into the hall she could have been there until her evening carer came in some hours later. I rang the emergency people and they spoke to her over the intercom, heard her voice, sent for the paramedics and called me back. It was a disaster waiting to happen as she had mobility problems and memory problems x
ditzeeblonde
Call me Linzi...
Hey Jim... glad you managed to get some time to yourselves, it doesn't sound in the least like yr trying to palm Jack off onto someone else... far more like they are trying to palm him off themselves! I truly hope you can get something sorted that is right for you, Colleen & Jack.x
pigletville
Silver Member
Oh Jim, I've just read this thread. I find it hard to believe that you manage to give such support to all the Atkiners out there when you are going through such stress trying to support everyone at home too. I'm not a big minimins poster, but I use all the support that you and other regulars on this site provide.
I hope 2011 gets a bit better for you than the last few months.
I hope 2011 gets a bit better for you than the last few months.
