My Food Diary

How are you feeling now Shirley? Good luck for tomorrow hun xx
 
Still feeling poorly

:cry:So guys off work again today - i managed to stay at work until 12.30 yesterday and had to come home. I am feeling so rotten, my throat is very sore and my mouth and gums have swollen and sore - lovely!!

I have managed to eat a bit more today but I am dreading WI tomorrow, I am so sure that I will not have lost with the dramatic change in my diet and I don't think I have eaten enough if that makes sense!

Anyway for today I have had:
Breakfast - Couldn't have it as so sick
Lunch - v small bowl of leek and potato soup and banana
Tea- Spag bol made by my wonderful OH as I was too poorly (2 heb - ate too much mince I think) and hea for cheese.

Snacks:
FF yogart
Raspberry ripple ice cream - medicinal - 5 syns

Drinks:
Diet coke and green tea with cranberry.

Good luck for WI tomorrow Mary I am sure you will have a great loss with all the exercise you have been doing. :)
 
Don't worry too much hun. As we have all said at some point, this is a lifestyle change rather than a diet and you can't expect to never get ill again!! There are going to be times when you come off plan, now is just one of your times. Just concentrate on getting better and get back on plan 100% once you are well.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
 
hi, hope you're feeling better.
You asked me about Diggerland on another thread, it is a fab day out, not sure how old your kids are but it's probably best for 5 upwards. Costs £15 each, including children. You can sometimes get 2 for 1 offers. But the cheapest way of doing it is if you get Tesco Clubcard vouchers(don't know if you shop there?), each ticket costs £4 in Clubcard vouchers. Anyway, we had a great time there today so it could be worth a visit:)
 
Hey Guys, Thankfully feeling lots better today, my mouth ans throat are still painfully sore and still unable to eat much! Its strange thinking that I need to eat more to loose weight though!!

Well, I WI in this morning and I have managed to loose 2lb!! :D

I am so pleased as I really thought that I would have gained what with the change in diet and my depo injection being due today.

I am aiming for a 2lb loss everyweek until my brothers wedding which is on the 28 August. I will however probally Wi that week on the Tuesday as we get the ferry over v early on the wednesday morning. Fingers crossed I will manage it!

Anyway my menu for today is:

Breakfast: Attempted 1/2 toast with cheese (killed to eat it but tried my best!) FF Yogart (1/4 heb, 1/4 hea)

Lunch: Small bowl of leek and potato soup, FF yogart

Dinner: Jacket potato with ham and veg. (heb)

Snacks:
Raspberry Ripple ice cream 50g - 5 syns

Drinks
Diet coke - ice cold
Green tea with cranberry and mint tea.

Cheers Bayside, I do shop in Tesco so I will keep that in mind when I finally get round to taking Callum - hes coming 7 and it sounds just up his street, I would have though my OH Jon would enjoy it too!! Elle my youngest is only 22 months so still too wee, I think I would need to leave her with her Nana as if she was there she would be off and into the cabs of the diggers before I could whistle. She is such a little rascal / madam and there is no talking to her when she sets her mind on something!!!

I am hoping to be feeling better this weekend and go walking with the kids and dog at some point. Hopefully the antibiotics will have done their job and will stop making me feel sick soon!!:jelous:
 
Hey Guys, Thanks weemo, I do feel a little better, I have been a bit spaced out on very stronge pain killers - otherwise I wouldn't have been able to talk, drink or god forbid eat at all as the roof of my mouth on one side is ulserated due to the foot and mouth:cry:.

I'm back to work tomorrow as the kidney infection is also under control thank god! And here was me the other day thinking I am exercising, taking multi vitamins and eating more healthly than I have for years so will therefore be less likely to get sick - boy was I wrong!!:sigh:

So after my fantastic surprise on Friday I am more determined than ever however I did have a little blow out on Saturday which I didn't syn but hey it wasn't so bad!

Saturday:
2 boiled eggs
1/2 mcdonalds mcchicken sandwich - I couldn't eat half as my mouth was so sore! medium fries and diet coke (and some of Jons Caramel milkshake - yum!!):break_diet:
1 Rice Crispy square

Today
(nearly as naughty)
1 toast (heb)
Loaded potato skins with chicken (heb)
2 x buns - 10 syns
watermelon

On both days I have drunk loads of diet coke as actually soothing on my mouth.

I've just made Jon the watermelon and rasperberry sorbet in this months mag and can't wait to have a try as tasted delish when I put it in the freezer!! i shall let you know - thats if he lets me have any as it is a little thank you present for looking after me and the kids whilst I have been sick. x
 
ooh, that sounds painful! You seem to be having a run of yukky illnesses at the moment. Hope you're starting to feel better:)
 
ooh, that sounds painful! You seem to be having a run of yukky illnesses at the moment. Hope you're starting to feel better:)

Tell me about it hun! I am feeling a little better but only because I'm not really strong pain killers the only thing is that they make me feel a little like I'm in a bubble! Not so good when I'm at work!:confused:

So back to work today - not sure how long I will last but I have intended to try a whole day 9-5 but I can hear my bed calling and feeling a little sick so we shall see.

I had a sneaky jump on the scales this morning when dropping the kids off and not showing any loss at all - I guess that I'm not eating much is effecting my diet! I need to try and eat more but hard as I often feel sick due to the antibiotics and then have my mouth to contend with!

So for today I have planned:
Breakfast: 1 boiled egg
Lunch: Jacket potato with beans, ham and cheese (HEa, HEb)
Dinner: quorn sausages with mash and veg

Snacks:Watermelon and raspberry sorbet - 2.5 syns
FF yogart

Drinks: Diet coke, green tea with cranberry

Fingers crossed I will be able to manage to eat everything!!!:cry:
 
(((hugs))) Shirley, you have been having a bad time of it lately, hopefully you will be on the mend really soon ~ it's not easy eating when your mouth/throat is sore. You still have 4 days before WI so don't let the scales get you down (tho easier said than done at times I know!) ~ hope you have a good day xx
 
Thank you Mary, thankfully I do feel a bit better today, I only managed to stay in work until 11.30 and then had to go home for a lie down and slept until 4.15. I'm hoping to get a bit more done today and not sleep so much!!

I didn't manage to eat as much as I had hoped yesterday and only had:
1 Boiled egg
1 ff yogart
2 quorn sausages with small amount of mash and veg
mint aero - 5 syns
chocolate biscuit - 3 syns
diet coke.

I'm really not eating enough which is annoying as I am hungry but the pain my mouth just puts me off so much. The pain isn't as bad today so I am hoping to manage a normal amount of food for a change and I discovered yesterday that I can manage yogart again without much pain so that is great.

So for today the plan is:
Breakfast: 1 lightly toasted bread with chopped egg (1/2 heb)
Lunch: Veg soup
Dinner: Stir fried beef and veg with noodles or rice (HEb)
Snack: 1 lighly toasted bread with cheese (hea)
Watermelon, FF yogart, Mint Aero - 5 Syns

I'm not looking forward to friday much as I really think that I won't have a loss this week with the massive changes in diet and lack of food but I'm trying my best to stay on track and stay positive!! Fingers crossed anyway! x:flirt2:
 
Well guys I think I have had the worst day of my life. I met Jon for lunch and he told me that he wants to have a 6 month break. I had no idea that he was unhappy. We went through a bed patch 6 months ago and he left for England but he came back and we were happy again - obviously not though.

When he came in from work he told me that it was over for good and to cut a long story short he thinks that the kids aren't his. How convenient. I went to my mums to sort my head out after I got the kids to bed but this made his angry as he thought I should have stayed and talked to him - what is there to talk about, he wants to leave and not have to pay for the kids.

So when I was at mums he called and was aggressive so I said I was staying at mums, this made him worse and I had to go and get the kids - this was at 10pm. I woke them up got some stuff and got them to mums. He was ranting at my mum that the kids weren't his and that I was a slag.

He bases this on the fact that after Callum was born Jon and I went through a really bad time - he didn't want to act like a dad and spent all our money on drink and his friends, I had to work really hard to make it work especially as I was living in England and didn't have my family around me so one night I got drunk myself and slept with a mutual friend. Jon never knew about it although he suspected and had been accussing me of having affairs since day one (I had been faithful to this point) but didn't find out until 2 months ago when again after a row I got drunk and got off with someone else. I told him straight away as I did not want to decieve him.

He told me that he had texted other girls - a fact I knew as I had found text messages on his phone after callum's first brirthday from a girl who worked at callums nursery and that after arguments he would go out and chat girls up pretending he was single. He thinks there was nothing wrong with what he did as he believes it was just a confident booster to him and that if he had of had the chance to take if further he wouldn't have. I don't believe this for a second. I never wanted to be unfaithful and do love him - christ knows why and I have always felt so guilty for doing what I did but I guess that is no excuse.

So anyway, last night he was sending me text messages about a girl called Danielle who comes into his work and he wants to go out with her as she is stunning etc. He also sent text messages calling me all the names under the sun, being abusive about my family and calling me at 4am to tell me he is watching porn, thinking of danielle and that I am a slag. He knows I hate porn and that it would be tearing me apart. I hung up on him and didn't hear anything more until this morning when he called my work to say that I should be at home talking to him trying to sort stuff out and that I will end up being a slag with 2 kids on benefit. I told him not to ring again.

But of course he rung again to say sorry and to ask that I come round and talk and that he didn't mean what he said, I asked about Danielle and he said that, that part was true and he wanted a chance to go out with her and didn't want me anymore and that yes, he didn't think the kids were his even though he put his name on the birth certs and likes to tell everyone how our 22 month old little girl is such a daddies girl.

I just want to be able to move on without any contact with him does that make sense? If I see him he will either be nice as pie or angry and I don't want to see either side of him. I just want him to find another place to live so I can move back into my house (its in my name so he is wanting to find somewhere else to live but he may well find it hard as he won't be able to afford what I have been subsidising all these years). I would love to have a few weeks of not seeing him or talking to get my head round all this and staying sane for the kids as they are the most important thing in my life.

I hate staying at my mums as I have to sleep on the sofa and they don't go to bed until late and I don't have any time on my own - the kids have a bed and a cot to sleep in in their own room so they are ok.
Jon wants me and the kids to come home tonight and him stay in the spare room but I don't think I am able and I don't want to row or talk with him as I don't want him to see me cry and be upset. I ust don't know what to do.

I wouldn't be surprised if anyone thinks that I deserve all that I get after what I have done but there is a lot that I have left out here, things that have happened that have shaped events and made me feels so unloved and isolated.

I'm so sorry about having a rant and taking so long to do it but I just don't know what to do for the best apart from keeping the kids safe and happy. I'm going to make an appointment at CAB this afternoon and hopefully they will be able to help me some too.
 
Getting There!

Hey guys,

Well things are more positive now thankfully, I couldn't get an appointment with the CAB, and I hope now i won't have to.

Jon has rung to tell me that he has found somewhere else to live and is going to share a flat with a girl he works with. He will be moving to another town -where he works so we won't have to see each other - this is also the town where Danielle lives, I honestly do believe that he wants to move there as he thinks I won't know who he is shagging and what he is up to. I will be gutted when i find out hes with someone else but what can I do, I added to the situation and hurt him as much as he hurt me.

I need to look at this as a new beginning for both me and the kids and try not to let it get me down but finding it difficult not to be upset and cry.

I also told my brother that he will not be at the wedding with me and that was hard but probally not as hard as going on my own with the kids - at least my mum, dad and other brother will be there with me.

Anyway I'm going to try and stay postive and look to the future and use this to help keep me determined to loose weight - I have incresed my loss so I will be 8st 10 at my goal - 4lb less that I had originally decided. Hopefully that will be achieveable. :jelous:
 
(((hugs))) Shirley, gosh I don't know what to say, poor you and especially with you being so ill as past while. I remember you saying things were a bit rocky awhile back but I thought you had worked things out. At the moment you are bound to be in shock and working in auto pilot ~ do you know why he decided this all of a sudden? Just try to take one hour at a time, thankfully you have your family and friends to support you through this difficult time. Maybe things will work out between the two of you? If they don't then look upon this as a new chapter in your life but this only happened yesterday so ~ sending you a massive *hug* xx ps you rant away Shirley, it's your diary and letting off steam this way helps!
 
Its not a diary its a moaning space!

Well yesterday was a real rollercoaster of emotion, I went home on my own last night - the kids stayed at mums and just cried and cried and cried. I was hysterical at one point I just couldn't stop. I spoke to Jon and he said that he still loved me but he needed space and that he wants to see other people. I am totally confused as to what he wants from me. He wanted to still go to see the tall ships with me and the kids at the weekend but I have said no I don't think it is right that we are having family days so soon and it will confuse me further.

Previous to this he was saying the kids weren't his and he was not going to pay maintenance - he soon changed his tune when I informed him that he wouldn't be seeing them then and neither would any of his family. I am trying not to let him walk over me but its hard to stay strong.

Anyway he rung again this morning to tell me that he wants to meet for lunch to discuss the kids and how we can mend our relationship???????????? What? I was really confused with this, I infomed him that I would meet him, give him his wages - which go into my bank and discuss the kids but if he thinks he can have his cake and eat then he is totally out of his head. I have put up with so much crap over the years I am not going to take it now that hes gone.

So the story got even more interesting when I got to my childminders and I told her who jon had moved in with, well, heather knows her and even showed me a picture - she is a friend of her sons. Unfortunately she is blonde, very pretty and slim. This has not helped how I feel at all. I discussed with Heather the situation as I have known her all my life and even dated her son for a while and she has said that yes Jon is in the right town for getting his leg over as it is renowned for "easy" girls. She has promised to let me know what she hears about him as I think I would rather know if he is messing about as to have my imagination run wild and him tell me that he is behaving and not doing anything.

Well the diet is taking a bit of a back seat but I am trying to pull it together yesterday I had:
Breakfast: 1 normal toast (1heb)
Lunch: FF yogart
Dinner: Pork loin with chips and onion gravy

Drinks: Green tea and 1 double vodka and diet coke - can't remember how many syns in a vodka but I guess I best find out as there are going to be many, many more!

Today I am hoping to have:
Breakfast: FF yogart
Lunch:
Dinner: Chicken stir fry with blackbean sauce - 2 syns

Snacks:
Drinks: Green tea and vodka and diet coke x2

Syns: 7
I hope that this meeting goes well and that I don't end up crying again - am determined not to but I shall let you know.:cry:
 
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Still trying to get my head round it all

Well, yesterday as usual was a rollercoaster and a half!! Jon and I talked and got no where fast, he has now decided that he wants us to make another go of it but with him living out, he is making a point of telling people that I cheated on him to get sympathy and I still don't know if I want him back or whether this is for the best, Everyone is telling me it is for the best but I don't know my head and heart are all tangled up. I'm meant to be meeting him at lunch time so we shall see how that goes, he is seeing the kids tonight so that will be hard as Callum my eldest is taking it bad, he says hes ok but is sleep walking etc and not saying much.:cry:

My friend came round last night to tellme that she can't amke it out on saturday night as her uncle has died - which leaves me with no on to go out with - god i know I sound selfish but need to go out desperatly and everyone else is pregnant sick or otherwise engaged. I am so lonely on a night after the kids go to bed that I end up talking to Jon , and he rings me all the time to talk, I am so jealous of him though and I know that I shouldn't be as I have the kids but he has his freedom, he has more money nowm can do what he likes and go where he likes where as I am stuck in everynight from 7.30 (when kids go to bed) on my own as everyone is busy and most of my best friends live in engand.

I'm am sorry to keep harping on about it I shall try not to from now on.

Anyway todays diet should be hopefully:
Breakfast: FF yogart
Lunch: Veg soup
Dinner: Chicken Chow Mein - 3 syns (sauce)

Snacks;
Drinks: 3 x diet coke & vodka - 7.5 syns.

I am hoping to go for a walk tonight but we will have to see and its all dependant on the weather and my mood as jon will be there with the kids - boo.

Anyway tomorrow better, I am taking mum shopping in belfast for an outfit for my brother wedding and jon will have the kids for the day. I decided not to take them to the tall ships due to the fact that its so busy although I think they would enjoy it.

Oh also WI in this morning and I have lost 4lb. At least something is going my way - just need to eat more but not hungry and don't want to most of the time- so not like me!:flirt2:
 
Hi honey, just been catching up, soooo sorry about your situation at present, i kind of know what you are going through in a way so if you need to talk i'm here.

Well done on your 4lbs weight loss this week xxx
 
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