EmVeg
Do a little dance!
Thanking you all. I am hoping that I will be able to do as you say LS - but I also know I don't want food to be a "stigma" all my life. It WILL be something I can still enjoy but be able to control!
So, after my triumph at the awards do last week - who would have though dinner with the in-laws would be the thing that challenges me more.
Walk in, in my smaller size jeans, feeling good. "So, when do you start your diet thing?" - Um, I have already. "Oh, how long you been doing that for? Should I be seeing I can see a difference if you've lost a couple pounds?" - 10 days, and I've nearly lost a stone. "Oh."
"Oh, but you do have one meal though when you get home" - no, no I don't, I have my food packs four times a day - like we explained.
"But you still have your one square of dark chocolate as your treat?" - no, no I don't. It's not my food pack is it.
"Do you want some bread to dip in your soup" - No thank you, just my food pack.
"Oh, have some dark chocolate when you get home" - Oh, **** off.
Then, I wee a few times, and yawn. Oh thats you losing weight. Not good for you apparently!
It was just so frustrating. The other comments were just do disapproving. And me being me, I buckle under other peoples views. I end up telling them how weak a person I AM, and how I'm just not good enough to control my food habits. I start justifying what I am doing by telling them how useless and worthless I am. And I believe it. I think if they know the truth they'd realise this is a good thing for me, that its something I need to do. Did they heck.
Ended up crying drving home - feeling completely beaten down. I'm not good enough by their standards. Its a shame her kids were brought up extremely fussy eaters and are all underweight by at leasta stone - because that's healthy.
And I admire she is a biggish (only by a stone or so) lady and she is fine with that - but she just made me feel it was wrong for me not to be.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So, after my triumph at the awards do last week - who would have though dinner with the in-laws would be the thing that challenges me more.
Walk in, in my smaller size jeans, feeling good. "So, when do you start your diet thing?" - Um, I have already. "Oh, how long you been doing that for? Should I be seeing I can see a difference if you've lost a couple pounds?" - 10 days, and I've nearly lost a stone. "Oh."
"Oh, but you do have one meal though when you get home" - no, no I don't, I have my food packs four times a day - like we explained.
"But you still have your one square of dark chocolate as your treat?" - no, no I don't. It's not my food pack is it.
"Do you want some bread to dip in your soup" - No thank you, just my food pack.
"Oh, have some dark chocolate when you get home" - Oh, **** off.
Then, I wee a few times, and yawn. Oh thats you losing weight. Not good for you apparently!
It was just so frustrating. The other comments were just do disapproving. And me being me, I buckle under other peoples views. I end up telling them how weak a person I AM, and how I'm just not good enough to control my food habits. I start justifying what I am doing by telling them how useless and worthless I am. And I believe it. I think if they know the truth they'd realise this is a good thing for me, that its something I need to do. Did they heck.
Ended up crying drving home - feeling completely beaten down. I'm not good enough by their standards. Its a shame her kids were brought up extremely fussy eaters and are all underweight by at leasta stone - because that's healthy.
And I admire she is a biggish (only by a stone or so) lady and she is fine with that - but she just made me feel it was wrong for me not to be.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH