My Journey - "You must do the thing you think you cannot do" - Start LL 7th Jan' 2009

Em, that was a very empowered post and I am sending you massive hugs from here in South Warwickshire... you will do this, and you'll be amazed at your state of mind once you get going. No, it won't solve every issue you have - but it will make you feel that so much more is possible.

Go Em!!

A x
 
Dear Em, you seem to be so sad and I dont know what I can say to make you feel better....but I am sending more hugs.
You're starting your LL journey next week too arent you? I know I am feeling pretty emotional at the moment probably because of what I'm about to do (LL). Do you think maybe your emotions are running a bit high at the moment too?
Whatever though, I do think you're very brave. You're here because you know you need help (I came to this site for the same reason). We've already take a huge step, and have so much to look forward to. Try and hold on to some positive thoughts. Have you started your scrap book yet?
xxxxx
 
Em
sorry to hear you are feeling down.
just keep positive - in a few months time there will be a 'new' you.
you should be well on the way to sorting out issues with food and other things and you'll have your whole life ahead to look forward to.
keep smiling
daisy x
 
Hi Em,

Sorry that you are feeling so sad at the moment.

From your pictures, you look like a 'lovely young lady' (don't mean to sound patronising), but you have so much to look forward to and I'm sure that LL will be the start of many changes within you.

Keep your chin up, I'm almost certain that once you get started on LL, your confidence will grow and you will be feeling so much happier when you see what you are achieving.

Hope you're feeling a little better.

Louale x
 
Em, I'm so sorry that yesterday was one of your worst days and I hope today is better for you.

You're about to start on a life changing journey and hopefully can start to work things out.

Please keep in touch on here and like LS says, let us know if we can help xxx
 
3 Sleeps to Go

3 Sleeps to Go

Thank you everyone. So much.

I am a sad person. It comes a lot from learning to see the negatives and not the positives. This is something I am slowly realising and learning to change. I was always a pessimist. If I hope for the worst case I would never be disappointed. But, I ended up not aiming for good things for me, and eventually I didn't deserve them.

I understand these things - but sometimes I can't look past them. Sometimes I get caught up in it all.

In the real world I have to accept that people don't hate me. Some might not particularly like me, but I need to understand that that is okay. As long as the people that matter to me are okay that's all that matter.

Not everyone matters. And not everyones opinions should ruin my piece of mind.

I am taking deep breaths and baby steps. That's how I'm looking at it.

Today, regarding LL I am well and truly excited. Although I may be on shaky ground with other aspects of my life, I don't think I could feel any more prepared than I am right now. I've had a few piggy days since christmas, but I don't feel guilty. I feel happy that its possible I won't do this again.

However, I'm not looking at these with sadness. I'm never going to eat **** again, boohoo. It's more, I'M NOT GOING TO BE A PIG!

So, excitment in LL world. Slow acceptance in the real world.

Yesterday was horrible, and me and OH are very much in the air, and I don't know whats happening. But I'm thinking clearer - so I know the decisions that are reached may be hard, but are right.
 
Hi Em

Could have written that post that you have just written myself.

I am Queen of Negativity. So much that sometimes I don't even realise I am doing it. It's a classic self defence mechanism. I too think I won't be disappointed. I think to myself that I'm preparing myself for the worst - just in case things do wrong.

Truth is things go right, things go wrong - happens to all of us.

I've just started my new diary for 2009 on the basis that I want it to be filled with positivity. A reply on my old diary by my lovely friend Karen shook me up a bit and made me realise how much I was setting myself up for a fall unless I improved my outlook. I'd like to repost what she said here because I think what she has to say is very valid.

Hello my lovely friend

It's taken me ages to catch up on here, only because i had ONE day off yesterday... blimey!! lol.

OK there is something screaming out at me from your recent posts my lovely which may be detrimental to your success on LL. And that is quite frankly your mental attitude. It is FAR from positive. You are doubting yourself constantly, living in the past, beating yourself up for past failures.

You need to shrug off all those bad memories, you still look amazing compared to your fat photos - i was v shocked at seeing those the other day, never seen them before so to me you are a successful dieter. Maybe you're not where you want to be (neither am i) but your constant negative thoughts are more likely to get you back to your fat photos rather than your thin ones. There, i've said it. It's such a destructive stage that you are going through my darling and you MUST find a way to STOP IT.

If you think about successful people (regardless of the profession/sport/achievement), the one thing they ALL have in common is a positive mental attitude. It makes THE difference my darling. You have all the motivation, wants and desires to achieve this but you are missing the essential ingredient....

I don't know how you can do it but you have to be strong and just not accept these negative, destructive thoughts in your life hun.

I must admit that it is hard sometimes and I think I will never be that positive person so like you I am concentrating on just being so in one aspect of my life - LL!

I hope that once that starts coming together I will gain some confidence to make positive changes elsewhere.

Who knows what is round the corner, especially as things are up in the air with your OH and I hope you can work things out, but know I am here for you and offering as much support as you need.
 
Good luck Em

Not long to go now till you start your life changing journey. I hope it will be for you.
There are no miracles, but lL has been for me.
 
Thank you LS - It does make sence - and one of those things which will take work.

Deep breaths and baby steps. Deep breaths and baby steps.

Had a bizarre day today...had my hospital appointment about my hip pain and discomfort after 6 months.

Waited an hour for my name to be called out, then told I was overweight and double jointed!

Told him I had an x-ray four or five months ago, but he sent me for another anyway. Waited for an hour and a half for the x-ray, and was told they see I had it done a while ago, so I don't need it done again - and sent back to the Dr.!

He then preceeded to tell me I didn't tell him, to then blame me for him not seeing it on his screen earlier, and once again comment about my weight.

Finally he gets round to telling me I have hip dysplacia on the left hip, but seen as operations hardly work - he is sending me for physio until it gets worse and I need an op for replace my hip when I'm 30. Niiice.

BUT, he was quite dismissive about my weight. And it upset me, but invigorated my motivation to do this. Like I said on anothr thread, in my referral in 6 months, lets see if he thinks it worth the op then :D

Some people from the Jan threads are starting tonight, and I am so excited for them!

All good in my head tonight. My usual little monsters are still swimming around in my head - but I'm drowning them in positives for today at least.
 
Good for you Em, you have had a rotten few days but i have a feeling things will start getting better 4u after tomorrow!
Have you started your scrap book?
 
Jazzy B - Doing that Thursday and Friday. Seen as these are supposed to be the hardest days I thought I would overwhelm myself with motivation.


One sleep to go until meeting.

Two sleeps to go until start.

Sorry to go back over old ground.

What is it in us that can make our minds change so easily. Or what makes us so easily swayed by other people’s input. I don’t get it. How can you be so positive that something is exactly what you need, and something that will give you a fighting chance to achieve something with yourself – and then someone can comment in your best interest that they are a little concerned about it being a bit too drastic, and all your confidence on the matter seeps away.

I plucked up the courage as it were to put my foot down to my dad, and tell him I know he doesn’t like it but I AM doing this and it would be lovely to have his support, and his answer was “fine, I guess I have to let you make your own mistakes.” I shouldn’t take it to heart but it just annoys me how much a stupid statement like that can put doubts in my head.

My heart is still positive, but my head is far too easily swayed. And it tends to shout louder than my heart too!

It’s strange. I know I am doing this – but I don’t think I will really believe it until I make it to the first meeting without pulling out. So many times I have tried to do something I know I should do, prepared for it, invested time and effort in it, been 100% positive and get right up until the moment I have to take that last finally step to be well and truly doing it – I think of any negatives people have been saying and any doubts I had and I bottle it.

I don’t want to bottle it. I really, really don’t want to. And I’m pretty sure I’ll make it there tomorrow. I just think my first few weeks may consist of positive the few days after meetings, then doubts and my negative self the next few days… and the struggle not to bottle it.

I just don’t get it. It’s just frustrating.

Although, I am not meandering in my own self doubt. This is me recognising it and coming up with a solution that I feel may work or I at least want to try.

I think I’m going to literally take this one day at a time, and one meeting at a time. I have a general goal weight 2 ”margin” in mind, and I have a general time that I would like to be getting towards RTM (basically near/after holiday)– but I don’t think setting a set date and weight will be beneficial for me. If I see a long stretch of road with no end visible I think it could be too much for me. Instead, if I take it slowly, I only have to see that next step.

Repeat the mantra – “Deep breaths and baby steps.”

..

It’s nice to hear the Jan starters who had their meeting last night enjoyed it, and are all positive about it. I think it’s a great benefit that we all seem to be starting really close together. We’re mostly going to be in sync with each other, and I am honestly as excited to hear/see their experiences as I am my own. Which, if I’m honest I still find quite bizarre.

I just think that WHEN (not if, not if) I get there in the end, I will have a hell of a lot to thank for those on the Jan thread, and those of you who are sharing your experience and helping us along.

I appreciate you all, and cannot wait for share my journey on here.

I am going to shrink, and grow as a person in the coming months.

Just you see.
 
Thinking of you too Em...

It really isn't easy when people we love and care about say things like your dad did. I am sure when the weight starts dropping off (as it will), he will see how your inner confidence grows, you become healthier and his attitude will change.

Heck, if not you still have us - this forum has really helped me through some tricky (understatement!) times.

I think those of us that have more demons to battle get more out of the group meetings, and consequently find that in the long term we learn more about ourselves and how to cope. It may seem a bit of a monster at the moment... so many things that need addressing, don't know where to start etc... but it does get easier. Just something as (relatively) minor as getting confidence in yourself physically, goes a ridiculously long way to helping you emotionally and so forth.

We are all rooting for you on here Em - you seem like a really switched on girl, and I have no doubt in my mind that you will be one of the success stories on this site, and in life in general.

I, too, have long been an 'almost' girl. Loads of good intentions, able to preach with the best of them, but not the best at crossing the finish line or gulping down my own medicine. I think this is the reason why I ended up ALMOST (damn, I hate that word - but not in this context) sabotaging my efforts by lapsing through December. I took everyone's positive comments to heart and started to believe them when they told me I should be ready to start eating again... once again investing too much energy into listening to other people rather than myself. BIG BIG mistake.

Anyway - you know deep down that you want to make some changes - and Lighter Life really can do so much for you - not just give you the power to lose weight VERY fast, but also to help you take stock of your feelings and emotions.

Before I started I had major anxiety/panic issues... barely leaving the house and NEVER doing anything outside of my 'safety net'... but once on Foundation I felt huge self-worth and didn't have a problem for months... only having a slight return to my previous ways once the lapses started... there is a lot to be said for taking control of your life, and 'owning' yourself.

I hope this doesn't sound to cliched and too buzz-wordy... it is genuinely an amazing programme that can help you infinitely if you let it.

You can do this Em... honestly... try not to let the negative thoughts take over - it is good to get a rounded view of what to expect, but my advice between now and when you start is to keep your head down and try and only think about the future.... picture yourself how you want to be... become a self-fulfilling prophecy of the RIGHT kind. :)

(((Hugs))) Anna xx

(PS... Sorry I didn't come back and post a few days ago as promised, I had a read through of everyone elses replies and they seemed to have nailed it! I'm here if you need me..)
 
Hi Em

Isn't it sad that when people say negative things to us we can't forgrt them and when peole say positive things to us they seem to disappear into the ether. Why is that.............?
I started LL because of my health. Losing weight won't make your hip problem disappear, but I bet it will alleviate the symptoms.
The medical profession are often really dismissive of people with weight problems.They seem to acknowledge that people who undereat or have what's known as eating disorders (bulimia, anorexia type illnesses) have psychological reasons and body image problems and take them seriously.
Whereas obesity or overeating seems to be regarded as something attributed to greedy people who just can't stop stuffing food into their mouths . Little consideration is given to "why".
When the Nurse at our practice checked my weight and BMI last year (although I said I didn't want her to) she looked at her wall chart and said "by rights you shoulddn't even be alive - you are off my scale"!
When I was referred to a chest specialist after I had bronchitis and pneumonia for months on end and no underlying reason could be found the GP asked me if being overweight could be the reason.
I have to say I was furious and walked out of there in high dudgeon!
However, when I clmbed down from the wall - I thought about it and decided I had tried everything else and I would lose the weight just to show them that was not the reason!!(rebellious child).
I had to get my blood pressure checked by that Nurse for LL. At first she was very dismissive about VLCD s and obviously didn't think I d succeed. Now if she sees me you would think we had been buddies forever - complete change of attitude.
I'm sure she's forgotten that first meeting I had with her. I haven't.
Last year I also had Plantae fascitis (policemen's foot) which is so painful you cannot put ypur foot to the ground and have to hop sometimes and have padded insoles, it feels like someone is cutting inside your heel with a sharp blade.
It has completely disappeared. Today I have been wearing high heeled boots all day -still am.
If what people say makes you feel angry or rebellious - use it as motivation - and throw it back in their faces by succeeding.
Only you have the power to do it.
We can support and encourage you, but at the end of the day it will be YOU who does it. Just as events in life make jus feel insecure or unhappy but
WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO ACTALLY PUT THE FOOD INTO OUR MOUTHS.
Good luck Em, this is your chance, grab it. xxx
Now when I see
 
Hi Em, I had my first meeting last night and although I had been waiting with baited breath since the beginning of Dec, I almost thought "am i doing the right thing" just at the last minute. I went along and felt so much better (and I'm sure you will too). All those people just like us and the LLC so positive that we would ALL be different woman in a few short months.
Please dont let any negativity get to you. Put it aside, yr dad is thinking of you I'm sure but has he read the books, has he spoken to a LLC, a dr, anyone else who has done the diet and been transformed by it? Maybe not even listened to you properly possibly (???).

And we must not be so frightened of making mistakes cos they probably wont be!!!! We will do it :):):):)
 
Well, today is the day.

I have told someone at work - partly because I was so excited and could not contain myself today, and partly because I wanted someone to know so I could have support where I go.
 
oh sending hugs hunni, hope ur doing ok.
here is to the start of a fab journey for ya xxx
 
Well then. Got all my packs. Got my shaker. Got my hand blender.

I'm feeling good. I started talking to a few in the group - and they all seem good. LLC is a bit "dithery" but she also seems genuine.

Met some lovely girls. I just need to think a little before I say things, and how I phrase them. But, overall I am positive and thinking bring on tomorrow!
 
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