My Journey - "You must do the thing you think you cannot do" - Start LL 7th Jan' 2009

Interesting

It's funny once we start to notice the effect on other people when we do LL.
A whole rash of different diets started to
break out in our office once my results became apparent. So much so that one lady who isn't dieting said "Oh you lot might as well hold a WW meeting in the tea room!" She wasn't happy - and still isn't.
I bet your Dad will be showing you respect soon despite what he said the other day.
 
I have decided not to begin my posts with day one etc... its not going to help me NOT look at the long road!

Foodpacks today

Morning - Banana, struggled to get it down but I think its because I was rushing out. But finished it all in the car and it wasn't too bad.

Lunch - Thai Chilli soup - yumm yumm.

Dinner - Veg soup - another soup I really like!

Evening - Warm strawberry moose. Even more yum!

Good food pack day. On around 4 - 5 L of water.

Still positive. Couple rumbles, but I really haven't felt hungry at all. I guess I really am one of the lucky ones.
 
First mid-week check..hehee

After two whole days on LL...

Ketostix was dark burgundy. LLC seemed I wasn't drinking enough water but I am drinking at least 4L both days. It isn't a problem is it?

WI - I've apparently lost 6lb. I'm trying to think of reasons why this could be wrong... no way. No way!

I think my LLC worked out my stone and lb from the KG wrong by 2lb on wednesday, so I don't know if I've actually lost 4lb but its worked out right this time.

y'know.
 
LS -

You may not know the answer - but we know who will......................or will find out, don't we?
Wait a while.....................:8855:
Don't let us down P.
 
Saturday 10th Jan (3)

Thank you for the comments. I am very happy. Just find itfunny that my first reaction is disbelief to the extent that I was looking for reasons that she could have got it wrong. I am accepting it, but I really didn't expect that much after two days.

Pack wise its been a good day.

Vanilla with ice was scrummy
Tomato, again liked it - with lots and lots of tobasco sauc!

I'm not sure what is up with me today.

In LL land I've had a decent day. No headaches, very little hunger (little rumbles but lets face it, I'm not starving), not tempted to try any food.

Plus the news I am in ketosis and lost 6lb after 2 days should make me estatic. And I am really happy, but just a little flat. A little deflated.

I'm still feeling good. I still think this is so right for me.

Had a moment of purely missing food. *some moderate(!) food talk*. Smells are suprising me. I have been wandering to the fridge, smelling for example BBQ sauce, and then walking away. It's bizarely satisfying to me right now. Also, I didn't realise certain food just smells so nice. It excites me that when I make my way into the world of food once again, my experience will be as much as smell as taste. I want to cook and enjoy food. I don't want food to be my be all and end all. I want healthy cooking to be satisfying, and I am already amazed at how my attitude was so bad regarding what went in my mouth.

Food controlled me. And in turn I took how much food can be truly enjoyed but still in moderation, and the effect it has on me and my body, completely and utterly for granted.

(still didn't stop me putting my face right into OH dinner and taking a rather large sniff!!!)

It's just one of those days. And it shall pass. And I am pretty sure this is something we all have gone through near the start and throughout our journey. I'm having my doubts about whether I can really do this - but we all do. That's what we're learning!

Another day down, and I just hope time stops going do slowly for me!
 
Well done on the weightloss.

It might be hard to believe because if you've tried all else and failed, something good comes along and you can't quite believe it.

Sniffing food is normal - been there and done it myself :)

I hope you're "one of those days" has passed now and today you are on top of the world again. It's only natural to have doubts but you can do it, you are doing it!

Remember how you felt before you started and the doubts you had then, you didn't even think you'd make it to the meeting. But you did and you've started the journey, you're just about over the worst bit, so you can complete it :)
 
Sunday 11th Jan (4)

Not going to post much - beause today has just been full of deja vu from yesterday.

I think it the way my weekends will go because I don't have anything like work to stress about!

Worrying, wobbling, doubting and stressing for the majority of the day and then positive minnie once I've actually told myself off and given myself a bit of "me time"!
 
Having read your first post, it's really made me very relieved, that I am not the only one that feels like this - completely daunted about taking on these stones that have physically, mentally and emotionally held me back for so long..

Thank you so much for sharing all that, it's really helped me to feel that I'm not alone in feeling like that.
 
Very inspirational EmVeg :)
Keep the positive attitude and you will achieve all your goals!
Goodluck :D
LotsofLove
Rachiie -ox-
 
Days 5,6 and 7.

An explanation of my quietness on here. These days have been very hard for me. Not that I've been hungry, just in how I feel about myself.

And when I feel low, I withdraw...I was reading this site, but making myself feel like I do not belong here. It's what I do time and time again in the real world. I'm good at alienating myself from people and then wondering why on earth people arn't making the effort. Once again, something I recognise but haven't got to the stage of fixing..YET

I really struggled with my confidence wobbles this week and this is the first time I haven't had the blanket of comfort food to make me feel snug (and then crap, but then eat again and feel snug...for a bit).

Its been hard really coming to terms with HOW much I used food. How much I actually wander into the kitchen when I am upset, angry, paranoid or bored. I think I've spent a good hour of my life a day in there just wandering around... before I'd be going from cupboard to cupboard, bread bin to fridge.

I still can't get over the thoughts that I AM GOING TO FAIL. I really m trying to be positive but I can't seem to shake it. Not yet anyway. I'm keeping going... I've already overcome my first two hurdles - getting to the first meeting, and getting to the second.

Getting to each group is going to be one more hurdle, and I hope I eventually come over the last one wondering how I got there.

Oh, WI today...I've lost 9-10 lb..not sure which yet as LLC has wrote a -9lb loss on book, but then my start weight and WI today are 10lb difference.

BUT either way... I'm not feeling disappointed that I was scared I might.

First CBT sessions - visualise yourself at your goal weight. I was the only person who did not put any reference to my weight. I wrote "healthy, happy and confident". No slim, or thin. This seemed strange to me when I realised.

So... I'm struggle. But I am struggling on. Have my awards dinner tomorrow night, and I am going to enjoy it. I'm not going to worry. If I get asked, I tell them what I am comfortable telling them. It's my personal business and I am there in a professional capacity. I'm not panicking.

Oh... one posistve... Apparently I have quite a small waist... well 32 1/2 inches which is far smalled than I thought. So hopefully when the weight comes off my proportions will keep me a little curvy.

Thank you if you read this, and I promise you I am getting there slowly.

I've recognised a lot of issues I didn't really know I had, plus those ones I already knew, and its just my time to work on them.
 
Emveg,

Hope your 'Awards dinner' went well and that you managed to get through it without being bombarded with questions.

Louale x
 
Okay, I done the awards dinner.

The night I was panicing about even before I knew I was accepted on the diet.

I sat there, with plates of food (3 courses and lots of wine flowing around me) in front of me, when it ended up about 13 hours between packs, and I didn't even think about touching the stuff.

It made me feel good.

Also something bizarre. I didn't want the chocolates, or pudding, or fish, or cheese. The only thing I looked at and really, really wished I could eat was the baby carrots and green beans. Made me laugh at myself.

So off of that night of control I decided to try a new one. I cooked dinner for the family tonight. As I've said my dad has been healthy eating since I started LL and he is going strong still.. and I know I tend to use too much "bad" stuff and food in general when cooking. So I made the right portions with leaner, healthier ingredients. And once again, I cooked, I enjoyed the smells, I enjoyed watching the meal take form - but I didn't want to eat it. I thought that it is the kind of stuff I want to eat at the end of this journey - but its not what I want right now.

Think I'm in ketosis well and truly now.

Will be going to pop in at LLC tomorrow - but doubt anything more has gone in these two days. Needing the support.

So now I am going to settle down with my healthy recipes that I am compiling for father. And then read my Foundation book in the bath I am having before my last pack.
 
You seem so sad Emveg, but just think of how you will feel in a few weeks time, you will feel great and so proud of yourself, it's easy for me to say because I don't start LL until tomorrow but from the many posts on here i think a few weeks can make all the difference, keep your chin up x
 
I'm not sad - I'm just kind of deflated. Its a big time, and I am trying to address issues without being overwhelmed - and the the only way I know how to is to get my head down and chunder through the emotions.

I am finding it hard. I'm struggling to get through the "storm" they create at time, but at other I can almost see some sunshine.

I want to do this wholeheartedly - and I think that only way this will work for me is if the emotional issues are also sorted.

One thing that was just brought up is that with my cravings I have taken too "smelling" those things and being to walk away. It's done me well now, but I want to do something that is non-food related to take my mind off it.

Nothing seems to do it like the smells. Except those times recently I've just not been interested.
 
Hi Em, well done on your awards dinner. You've done the one thing I couldn't bring myself to so which is to sit in a room full of people in a social setting. I'm very unlikely to do it either this time.

This is a weird journey, and the emotional part is the hardest.

I was thinking earlier about the smell of things earlier. I could smell my brother cooking something wonderful downstairs and it made me crave food. I was thinking to myself how on earth am I going to cope when I am allowed food again if I give in when I smell something nice?

Um, lots to think about!
 
I decided to confront that head on...but cooking my favourite meal and testing my control. I don't want to get to the end of this and find I can no longer deal with food. I wanted to test myself no to see IF I could control the WANT. Because that is why I am big - because I give in to the WANT, instead of listening to the NEED.

I will not be scared to food at the end of my foundation journey - because then I am no better off - It will still have control over me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Y
Weight loss journey intro -
Replies
5
Views
1K
Zafira
Zafira
L
Start As You Mean To Go On
Replies
7
Views
2K
Visualizing
Visualizing
F
Getting fit for 40! My diary (feel free to join me)
Replies
13
Views
2K
AliGal
AliGal
Y
Starting a VLCD for good this time!
Replies
4
Views
1K
Kitty07
K
F
VLCD (Cambridge/LL/Shake that weight) support 2024 ✨
Replies
0
Views
373
Frozenfjords
F
Back
Top