My Loss = My gain and His loss -new hair photo added

It's great that you are feeling so much better these days. I have battled depression most of my adult life (since having the girls anyway so 20years) and know how difficult it is when it is recurring.

You are doing so well and fab that you managed to drive without pain!!
 
I think unless you have suffered from depression you really dont have any idea how bad things can be so I really appreciate you letting me know you have been there too

well I went to town in the car I shopped I had a coffee at costas and then went and had my hair done
I am totally exhausted now but it was so worth it :)
 
Another diary?

Hello, caught your diary off someone elses thread, and got interested.

I hope the knee is getting better, glad you can move it with out pain again.

Yeah for SW! I know the asda ff greek yoghurt is free, or it used to be? Not been a paid up member for 4 months, so I may be corrected?
 
thanks for the visit
I will look at the asda yog and maybe try a small pot - the total one is lovely but I get through two tubs a week sometimes three so its getting expensive as that 6 quid just on yoghurt :):)
thanks for the visits - I love visitors

today I am off to a church fete - not to browse around but they have asked for some spinners to go and demonstrate - no all you fitness addicts not on a bike but with fibres and spinning wheel - you know like in sleeping beauty

in the past doing something like this where I dont know anyone and cant really predict what might happen would have totally freaked me out
BUT I am looking forward to this -being in remission from the depression is a really weird feeling :):) but great

so positive word of the day is delightful might seem like an odd word to pick but I just know that is how my day is going to be

food for today

breakfast
fruit and yog

lunch
houmous healthy B
crudites
ryvita minis healthy b

dinner
homemade vegetarian cottage pie with celeriac and potato topping
low fat cheddar Healthy A
whatever veggies I can find
purple sprouting will be one

snack
velvet crisps 4 syns (if I want them)

if I dont eat those I have no idea what I might spend syns on as I am not a great snacker - I am a picker of food and I am trying to stop that habit so the snacking is having to be controlled - might use some for a bottle of drink - but I dont really do alcohol either - now I sound sad and boring - oh dear
 
Aldi's fat free yogurt (light blue tub) is free and although it's not Greek it is nice and thick and creamy. About 59p for 500g so way cheaper than Total Greek.
 
Rosie thanks for that
will check it out as some yoghurt manufacturers seem to think its a good idea to add dead pig to their products so will make sure its suitable for vegetarians - will actually be going past there tomorrow - so a great time to pop in and let me know thanks so much for posting
 
I love the title to this! i had to read it twice though i though omg are you leaving him lol!

My hubbys promised me a holiday away and a new wardrobe if i lose what i want by the time her returns in march.
 
oh how fantastic is he - sounds like my DH :):)
and with that fantastic start you had I am sure you will be sucessful
as for leaving him - I think we have been together for so long now it would be like losing a part of me :):)
corny though it might sound we literally saw each other across a crowded room and 'knew' we had to be in each others future


now my Saturday
I started very well and very controlled
went to represent the guild at the church fayre and had a lovely afternoon being with like minded people

then got home and it all went wrong - I did have the packet of velvet snacks so that was fine but then I started to feel very sick and unwell - now either that was a badly timed dose of the antibiotic or withdrawal setting in from the mega dose of tramadol I am on (trying to wean myself off it and was due another dose) then Dh mentioned chips from the chippy
so he got me a small portion that I munched through then he had chocolate no excuse I just wanted the foods I was not supposed to have and gave in - I think its genuinely going to be difficult for me to reduce the dose and go through withdrawal symptoms and stick to the plan UNLESS I am super planned and I will have to make sure each days food is in the fridge ready for me so I have NO preparation to do
so from tonight (when I will plan the food for the next few days)
I will be planning for the next day
that morning I will sort all the food in the fridge so I have grab and go foods all planned
remove temptations from the house

now without small kids around removing temptations is going to be quite easy
DH can take all his 'treats' - crisps chocolate biscuits etc he can take to work and keep them in the kitchen there and any evening treats he wants he can bring home something each evening
no I am not treating him like a child but I am treating me like a child

so the word for today will have to be
disappointed (for not planning ahead)
and DETERMINED as from today this WILL go right

later today DH and I will be practising putting up the trailer tent - it will be the first time so should be fun :) but better to practice at home than on a campsite :):)

H xx
have a great day everyone :):)
 
Aaleigha said:
oh how fantastic is he - sounds like my DH :):)
and with that fantastic start you had I am sure you will be sucessful
as for leaving him - I think we have been together for so long now it would be like losing a part of me :):)
corny though it might sound we literally saw each other across a crowded room and 'knew' we had to be in each others future

now my Saturday
I started very well and very controlled
went to represent the guild at the church fayre and had a lovely afternoon being with like minded people

then got home and it all went wrong - I did have the packet of velvet snacks so that was fine but then I started to feel very sick and unwell - now either that was a badly timed dose of the antibiotic or withdrawal setting in from the mega dose of tramadol I am on (trying to wean myself off it and was due another dose) then Dh mentioned chips from the chippy
so he got me a small portion that I munched through then he had chocolate no excuse I just wanted the foods I was not supposed to have and gave in - I think its genuinely going to be difficult for me to reduce the dose and go through withdrawal symptoms and stick to the plan UNLESS I am super planned and I will have to make sure each days food is in the fridge ready for me so I have NO preparation to do
so from tonight (when I will plan the food for the next few days)
I will be planning for the next day
that morning I will sort all the food in the fridge so I have grab and go foods all planned
remove temptations from the house

now without small kids around removing temptations is going to be quite easy
DH can take all his 'treats' - crisps chocolate biscuits etc he can take to work and keep them in the kitchen there and any evening treats he wants he can bring home something each evening
no I am not treating him like a child but I am treating me like a child

so the word for today will have to be
disappointed (for not planning ahead)
and DETERMINED as from today this WILL go right

later today DH and I will be practising putting up the trailer tent - it will be the first time so should be fun :) but better to practice at home than on a campsite :):)

H xx
have a great day everyone :):)
Click to expand...

Hi H, glad you had a lovely time at the fete, what a beautiful day for it, hope you weren't too hot.

Don't be disappointed in yourself, you will get back on track, planning is definitely key though.

As for Tramadol, I'm supposed to still be on them but I rarely take them, I know it means I'm in unnecessary pain alot of the time but I didn't like the side effects and also I had heard about having to come off them like you are trying to and it's like an addiction, I really hope you can come off of them soon.

Here's to a good week for you, remind me what day you get weighed? Is it Wednesdays? Have you planned all your food in for this week? X
 
yes getting off tramadol is NOT fun - well its not for me and I was on a high dose 400mg a day I am now down to 300 and that is hard I am having headaches shakes feeling sick - but some of that could be side effects of the strong antibiotics - I am so fed up with feeling this way - to be honest I thought new knee come off meds as the pain lessened exercise it and be back to a normal life - but I think it will take me longer and I will have to be patient with myself

I have seriously been looking into slimpods dont know if to go for number 3 or just the slimpod but with a 20% discount there is very little difference in the price

I have not yet planned for the coming week will go to bed early and do it there
I do sort of know what I will be having but I want it written down
then I will annotate it if I change it and tell myself why so I know for the future

and yes weigh in is on wednesdays :)
 
A new page of the current chapter of my life now needs to be turned

I have my smaller plate
slimming world as a reminder of healthy eating
and I have now downloaded slim pod plus
so will start to listen to them from first thing tomorrow morning
so you will all need to start looking for my positives just like Helen does
I am quite looking forward to a new page with a new approach - as my knee is healing I will soon be doing more and more walking for exercise so it seems fitting to start the pods now :)
 
I'm not envying the withdrawal symptoms but you will get there.

Have you heard back from Thinking Slimmer yet? Have you decided what your targets are going to be? They're hard to come up with aren't they?
Glad you found Jackie, she's great and her positivity really shines through x
 
well I missed all the diaries this morning
I had an horrendous nights sleep - or lack of last night
went to be about 10 read for a bit and tried for sleep about 11 - dont remember anything until 12 30 when I tried to turn over to great amounts of pain and was then awake from then until about 4 30 and awake again at 6
I am so tired now I keep trying for sleep but it wont come

anyway on to the pods
I have listened to my drop 2 dress sizes first thing and then had a nice cool bath and tried for more sleep - nothing so read my book for a couple of hours hoping I would just drift off
I still have not had any catch up sleep and I feel awful - I have done washing and put it on the line and prepared a huge bowl of fruit salad
cherries pineapple strawberries and blueberries so I have that for whenever I want it and primarily for breakfasts for the next few days

dinner tonight will be a cottage pie made to fit in with slimming world plan - I have just realised I have not had lunch but that is because I just dont want it - dont know if its because of lack of sleep or a pod

so my targets are - these are not my ultimate targets just target for xmas
by xmas I will be in a size 16 trousers and wear a particular dress
-by holiday week in september size 18 to be wearable (rather than too tight)
-by end of october size 18 to be loose
-by end of nov 16 to be tight but wearable
-by christmas size 16 to be comfortable - and loose would be good :)

by xmas to be able to confidently walk the two dogs on my own
-next week one dog along cycle track with walking stick
-by holiday one dog without walking stick and for longer distances
-by end of october to be walking one dog without stick of rough ground and be walking two dogs with DH
-by the end of November be walking both dogs round the block on my own
- by christmas to be walking both dogs where and when I please :):)

and I am stuck for a third target so any ideas MOST welcomethree positives so far today are

I have listened to my pod
I have set two smart targets with interim steps and made them public
I have asked on here for help with suggestions for a third

DD just rang me and I have arranged for her to drive me to the doctors tomorrow - I dont want to have the joint manipulated and then in pain to drive back so dd can drive me there and back

all my food for today is slimming world friendly
breakfast
fruit and total 0% yoghurt
lunch nothing yet
dinner cottage pie slimming world stylee

so no syns so I would love some suggestions as to what I can spend them on too please

right off to get a bit of sleep
I will do my best to attempt to read others diarys before bedtime but I cant promise as I feel so awful - I am hoping its lack of sleep not the meds making me feel this way but who knows
 
Oh sweetheart - I hope you get a much better night's sleep tonight :hug99:
I've been computerless since Friday and am so glad to read that you had a lovely time at the fayre:p
Hope you enjoy the slimpods
I really love reading your daily positives:D
 
Sorry to hear you're feeling poorly and didn't sleep well, hope you manage a better night tonight. I'm sorry I can't really help you with your targets as it was so hard to set mine! The ones you have are really great though so we'll get our thinking caps on.

Well done on the positives despite the lack of sleep, will pop in tomorrow and check you're okay x
 
Thanks darling
I have given things a lot of thought during the day and I dont think the number of targets matters as much as making them realistic for me
no point in setting a target just because I am supposed to
my targets are perfect for me and I will set a third when I can find something that I really want to set not something just for the sake of it

so I have felt awful all day - due to lack of sleep I am sure - I remember the day when I could party all night not sleep and go to work and keep that up a couple of times a week now I cant survive on a reduce sleep amount - my DH says it called getting old - I am not going to be speaking to him :):)
tomorrow I have the doctors and my DD said she will drive me - cant drive this tired it wont be safe

been sorting all the equipment for camping we need a light, small halogen heater first aid kit a washing up bowl and a cutlery tray for the drawer :) then I think everything is sorted and all we need to do is pack it
we dont go for 4 weeks but will get anything missing when payday this month comes round :)
 
Morning, hope you managed to get a better nights sleep last night, that seems a good idea about the targets as yours were very good and surely it's better to aim for something like that, hope you have a good day today x
 
I have decided that thinking about a third (and not so relevant target) is counter productive - at this time I have two but they are sound and just what I want

I did have a better but not brilliants night sleep last night
I went to the doctors she has signed me off until the end of september
she is not happy about the localised hot spot on my knee - but recognises as I do that it is so much better than it was
she took blood tests to see if the infection has gone - if so its just damaged tissues trying to repair and if not it could mean back to the hospital again
so she is asking pathology to rush them through so she can have the results Thursday morning and she will phone me then - if all is well she will organise physio for me as at the moment I feel I am back to near the beginning if that happens I might ask for a gym referral to - being off work I can use it as much as possible - as that will also help with the weight loss

so its weigh in at slimming world tomorrow - if I can get myself there -

so food for today
fruit
ff yog

home made sw friendly houmous healthy b
mini ryvitas healthy b
crudites

quorn chicken style burger 2.5 syns
potato wedges
salad
 
well today is weigh in day and it will bring what it will bring
I am sure I am in for a gain as sticking to plan with little to no sleep and so many meds some need food and that has to be carb type stuff some dont etc etc I have found this week so hard
perhaps I should allow pack of ryvita minis and just have a few before some of the meds

hopefully I wont have an infection left and when I have finished the meds it will be so much easier

so I listened to my slimpod last night and will do so again when I get back from class
I have been reading though Jackies diary from the beginning to see her struggles with coming round to trusting the pods only - I like H am not there yet I need the back up of a healthy eating plan until I can 'let go'

knowing that should I feel be a positive for today - but we will see
 
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