My metamorphosis log - final stage
- Thread starter *butterfly*
- Start date
*butterfly*
Silver Member
26.02.10
Hi all,
Back again. Tail between legs, and vowing a restart, but time away has helped.
Thankyou for your kind messages. Daughter is back to her usual sprightly self. Nan doing reasonably well, given the circumstances. Stayed in hospital for while, various tests etc. showed spread of cancer but has now started chemo, so hoping it will be effective. She is coping amazingly well, inspiration to all of us. Had busy period work too, worked 7 out of 9 days/nights so not had too much time to diet but have done a lot of thinking.
Eating went off plan, kept trying to ss or 810 to get back into it but failed, had major binges of junk food, or anything in fact. Stopped seeing CDC> Felt low, tired, upset, out of control…hated it. Have browsed diaries and the ‘headwork’ threads to try to learn and get back on top of things. Come to conclusion that I need to stop doing CD.
Embarassed as I am to admit, using such a strict plan has had its drawbacks for me. I have throughout the time on CD induced vomiting to purge after a binge. Very ashamed of the fact, but cannot continue to pretend its ok. At worst, this binge/purge thing could go on for several days until I got back on the wagon. Or sometimes I would just continue eating, no vomiting, as I always know I have the safety net of SS to return to…which is what I have done. Not sure if its CD that really impacts on doing this, I guess I have used it in past, its just never been as bad. (the brave disclosure of some of out other members recently just made me think about it more… I wasn’t just lying on minimins, but to myself and it couldn’t continue) Struggled mostly since Xmas, and don’t want to still be running back to this cycle in another 6months time, kicking myself all the way. I still love CD, it has been amazing for me to lose this weight, I just think I really need to move away from ‘plans’ and more towards long term eating changes. It seems I cannot do this whilst SS remains an option, at least at the moment.
So, I am doing my own thing, but still loosely based on CD principles. Only really made decision a few days ago, after another failed attempt at SS, followed by a binge/purge. Had put on weight and at worst, scales had gone to 10st 11lb…(I told you I know how to binge!) What has also inspired me is my OH, who has lost a few stone now, just healthy eating, with the odd nutritional replacement shake. Also had read on here about people who made the decision to break away from Cd and succeeded. At the end of the day, I want to make long term changes. I do not want this to be ‘another diet’ which fails, and that can only happen if I tackle my problems around food, learn about self control, and implement the changes that need to be made…. Develop a new way of ‘normal’ eating….scary thought.
My plan so far, I’m on day 3.. basically I am doing 1000cals per day. Having low fat, generally higher protein diet. Trying to aim for low GI foods. Would like to consider use of a shake/soup once a day if needed, to keep the nutritional gain. Have been using ‘food focus’ daily food tracker, and being meticulous in logging everything. It’s the only way I will really get to grips with the right amounts/ balance of foods. Plan to switch to PDT when I get chance to download it. I guess its easy to sort of expect that once o get to ‘goal’ that this ability to stay there will just happen, I know that is not the case, I need to continue to work hard to relearn a lifetime of new habits and behaviours. Only I can do this, no ‘plan’, book or product is going to effect my choices, .only i can. Although I will use all the tips I can get! After recommendations have ordered a couple of books about overcoming overeating, which look usefull according to the reviews… time will tell. So, I started 3 days ago at 10st 8lb and aleady showing a drop to 10st 5lb. However, I am going to try really hard not to get too hung up on the scales. My OH had a McDonalds the other day, ice cream and all, and when I asked him if he weighed the next day, he hadn’t. He said as long as he kept his cals lowered and exercise he just knew he’d lose, didn’t feel need to check every day like most of us. Now I cannot quite imagine not weighing but I am trying to bear that in mind. Will move up cals over time obviously, and I do need to work to fit exercise into my life.
I probably will still lurk on here, if ok…time is always against me, but I have always tended to focus better when I write it down. Apologies for the waffle, just needed to be honest with myself at least, and I just cannot talk to anyone else about it. Feeling positive, and determined to continue finding my way to balanced eating. Thanks for all your support . xx
Hi all,
Back again. Tail between legs, and vowing a restart, but time away has helped.
Thankyou for your kind messages. Daughter is back to her usual sprightly self. Nan doing reasonably well, given the circumstances. Stayed in hospital for while, various tests etc. showed spread of cancer but has now started chemo, so hoping it will be effective. She is coping amazingly well, inspiration to all of us. Had busy period work too, worked 7 out of 9 days/nights so not had too much time to diet but have done a lot of thinking.
Eating went off plan, kept trying to ss or 810 to get back into it but failed, had major binges of junk food, or anything in fact. Stopped seeing CDC> Felt low, tired, upset, out of control…hated it. Have browsed diaries and the ‘headwork’ threads to try to learn and get back on top of things. Come to conclusion that I need to stop doing CD.
Embarassed as I am to admit, using such a strict plan has had its drawbacks for me. I have throughout the time on CD induced vomiting to purge after a binge. Very ashamed of the fact, but cannot continue to pretend its ok. At worst, this binge/purge thing could go on for several days until I got back on the wagon. Or sometimes I would just continue eating, no vomiting, as I always know I have the safety net of SS to return to…which is what I have done. Not sure if its CD that really impacts on doing this, I guess I have used it in past, its just never been as bad. (the brave disclosure of some of out other members recently just made me think about it more… I wasn’t just lying on minimins, but to myself and it couldn’t continue) Struggled mostly since Xmas, and don’t want to still be running back to this cycle in another 6months time, kicking myself all the way. I still love CD, it has been amazing for me to lose this weight, I just think I really need to move away from ‘plans’ and more towards long term eating changes. It seems I cannot do this whilst SS remains an option, at least at the moment.
So, I am doing my own thing, but still loosely based on CD principles. Only really made decision a few days ago, after another failed attempt at SS, followed by a binge/purge. Had put on weight and at worst, scales had gone to 10st 11lb…(I told you I know how to binge!) What has also inspired me is my OH, who has lost a few stone now, just healthy eating, with the odd nutritional replacement shake. Also had read on here about people who made the decision to break away from Cd and succeeded. At the end of the day, I want to make long term changes. I do not want this to be ‘another diet’ which fails, and that can only happen if I tackle my problems around food, learn about self control, and implement the changes that need to be made…. Develop a new way of ‘normal’ eating….scary thought.
My plan so far, I’m on day 3.. basically I am doing 1000cals per day. Having low fat, generally higher protein diet. Trying to aim for low GI foods. Would like to consider use of a shake/soup once a day if needed, to keep the nutritional gain. Have been using ‘food focus’ daily food tracker, and being meticulous in logging everything. It’s the only way I will really get to grips with the right amounts/ balance of foods. Plan to switch to PDT when I get chance to download it. I guess its easy to sort of expect that once o get to ‘goal’ that this ability to stay there will just happen, I know that is not the case, I need to continue to work hard to relearn a lifetime of new habits and behaviours. Only I can do this, no ‘plan’, book or product is going to effect my choices, .only i can. Although I will use all the tips I can get! After recommendations have ordered a couple of books about overcoming overeating, which look usefull according to the reviews… time will tell. So, I started 3 days ago at 10st 8lb and aleady showing a drop to 10st 5lb. However, I am going to try really hard not to get too hung up on the scales. My OH had a McDonalds the other day, ice cream and all, and when I asked him if he weighed the next day, he hadn’t. He said as long as he kept his cals lowered and exercise he just knew he’d lose, didn’t feel need to check every day like most of us. Now I cannot quite imagine not weighing but I am trying to bear that in mind. Will move up cals over time obviously, and I do need to work to fit exercise into my life.
I probably will still lurk on here, if ok…time is always against me, but I have always tended to focus better when I write it down. Apologies for the waffle, just needed to be honest with myself at least, and I just cannot talk to anyone else about it. Feeling positive, and determined to continue finding my way to balanced eating. Thanks for all your support . xx
Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
Nice to see you back Butterfly and really glad your daughter has mended 
I'm sorry if you know this but please be careful about trying to live on 1000 calories. I think it works for some when we are going up the plans as our metabolism is still returning to normal but it really isn't much at all if you've been eating normally for a while. Take care of yourself x
I'm sorry if you know this but please be careful about trying to live on 1000 calories. I think it works for some when we are going up the plans as our metabolism is still returning to normal but it really isn't much at all if you've been eating normally for a while. Take care of yourself x
Greeneyes11
Gold Member
Good decision to make Butterfly... glad your daughter is better and that your nan is coping better than expected.... lots of positives. I have found that since I upped my calorie intake my weight is just falling off... struggled yesterday with TOTM etc, and did eat more than my normal amount of points on WW, but just slightly under my maintaining number of points and I have lost weight this morning... how does that happen?..... lol Good luck with the healthy eating and calorie counting...
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
I admire your honesty and determination to find your own way forward Butterfly... I think it is something we all have to do, in the end. And the honesty is important so we know where we are starting from, and what we want to leave behind.
You sound very focused... wishing you luck and keep posting when you can... the support is often what gets us through.
xxx
You sound very focused... wishing you luck and keep posting when you can... the support is often what gets us through.
xxx
*butterfly*
Silver Member
Thanks all,
opinions and ideas very much appreciated, as realistically, i have never tried this before. Always fallen back to points, syns, or some other plan to dictate what i eat....or no plan at at all and eating rubbish!
Good point Laura, I guess i have a tendancy to want the 'quicker' loss, which i suppose influences my choice of calorie intake. I'm still weighing this one up, seeing how it goes for a few days, monitoring hunger/mood/energy and will more than likely up the level. Think the low GI choices are helping considerably as have only had one occasion when felt hungry. Having said that, i do not really want to incur problems with metabolism lowering...my maintenance level i think worked out at around 1964cals if i am lightly active. What sort of level would you suggest would still give me 2lb per week loss?
Thanks xx
opinions and ideas very much appreciated, as realistically, i have never tried this before. Always fallen back to points, syns, or some other plan to dictate what i eat....or no plan at at all and eating rubbish!
Good point Laura, I guess i have a tendancy to want the 'quicker' loss, which i suppose influences my choice of calorie intake. I'm still weighing this one up, seeing how it goes for a few days, monitoring hunger/mood/energy and will more than likely up the level. Think the low GI choices are helping considerably as have only had one occasion when felt hungry. Having said that, i do not really want to incur problems with metabolism lowering...my maintenance level i think worked out at around 1964cals if i am lightly active. What sort of level would you suggest would still give me 2lb per week loss?
Thanks xx
butterfly, your post was so heartfelt and honest it made me cry. you sound scared and almost lonely.. i love your posts, so please keep coming back. i am near goal and am planning on working up plans and then going to WW so perhaps you could try that at some point when you have found a non-plan route to be effective.
anyway, just couldnt go without posting something as your post really touched me. hang in there girl! be proud of yourself for what you have acheieved and thank you for being so honest...
anyway, just couldnt go without posting something as your post really touched me. hang in there girl! be proud of yourself for what you have acheieved and thank you for being so honest...
Just caught up and your honesty really touched me too Lorna. I understand and feel much the same way about having to find a way of eating for the rest of my life, and of course that can't include CD.
I felt that I would 'get to goal' and then follow a low Gi route to maintain but things just haven't worked out that way so I'm taking some time away from CD packs and starting the Low Gi route early in the hope like you of developing a 'normal' way of eating.
I'm glad that your little girl is better and your Grandmother seems to be coping with all her treatment.
I think some books are helpful sometimes, I suppose I see this now as a long overdue effort to change the way I eat, I haven't wanted to have to deal with it at all or make a hobby out of it and this reluctance on my part has made it all much slower for me. Still, we learn the hard way - well I do....Now I see there has to be a permanent change in the way I have eaten in the past. I can't do CD, lose weight and hope I just 'know' how to maintain. The thing is, I really thought I did, because we didn't eat rubbishy food, always good stuff and I'm a good cook so......well it didn't work. Probably my willpower wasn't up to it, I've written before that I have an aversion to being over controlled - far too sloppy.
I constantly think of a close relative in this context, who had/has anorexia, is very thin and prides herself on buying children's clothes ( this makes me shudder, too weird for me.) Constantly talks about food/diets, is very, very knowledgable, is a nightmare to eat with...fuss, fuss, fuss..... She is obsessively interested in my CD efforts which being me I don't like to discuss, so don't, I change the subject.
Stupidly, I fear turning into her - ridiculous I know, but it explains the aversion to being over controlled. Needless to say she is also one of the most unhappy people I know....sorry, rambling again....you just made me think.
I think you are very brave and admire you. xx
I felt that I would 'get to goal' and then follow a low Gi route to maintain but things just haven't worked out that way so I'm taking some time away from CD packs and starting the Low Gi route early in the hope like you of developing a 'normal' way of eating.
I'm glad that your little girl is better and your Grandmother seems to be coping with all her treatment.
I think some books are helpful sometimes, I suppose I see this now as a long overdue effort to change the way I eat, I haven't wanted to have to deal with it at all or make a hobby out of it and this reluctance on my part has made it all much slower for me. Still, we learn the hard way - well I do....Now I see there has to be a permanent change in the way I have eaten in the past. I can't do CD, lose weight and hope I just 'know' how to maintain. The thing is, I really thought I did, because we didn't eat rubbishy food, always good stuff and I'm a good cook so......well it didn't work. Probably my willpower wasn't up to it, I've written before that I have an aversion to being over controlled - far too sloppy.
I constantly think of a close relative in this context, who had/has anorexia, is very thin and prides herself on buying children's clothes ( this makes me shudder, too weird for me.) Constantly talks about food/diets, is very, very knowledgable, is a nightmare to eat with...fuss, fuss, fuss.....
She is obsessively interested in my CD efforts which being me I don't like to discuss, so don't, I change the subject. Stupidly, I fear turning into her - ridiculous I know, but it explains the aversion to being over controlled. Needless to say she is also one of the most unhappy people I know....sorry, rambling again....you just made me think.
I think you are very brave and admire you. xx
Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
Thanks all,
opinions and ideas very much appreciated, as realistically, i have never tried this before. Always fallen back to points, syns, or some other plan to dictate what i eat....or no plan at at all and eating rubbish!
Good point Laura, I guess i have a tendancy to want the 'quicker' loss, which i suppose influences my choice of calorie intake. I'm still weighing this one up, seeing how it goes for a few days, monitoring hunger/mood/energy and will more than likely up the level. Think the low GI choices are helping considerably as have only had one occasion when felt hungry. Having said that, i do not really want to incur problems with metabolism lowering...my maintenance level i think worked out at around 1964cals if i am lightly active. What sort of level would you suggest would still give me 2lb per week loss?
Thanks xx
I know what you mean about wanting a quicker loss. Remember on 'normal diets', the average is 1 - 2 lb so still wanting 2lbs means you really are going for the maximum so if you want that, then yes, you need to be prepared to go really low on your calories. How will that make you feel?
The general rule of thumb is that women should have no less than 1200 calories to ensure they are getting enough nutrition, but that has to be a pretty general statement but one I'd go with. (And if you have packs, then you could go lower). I realise according to your BMI you could technically go down to the 1000 mark but I've never seen anyone in this section do okay at that for a long period of time (and been binge/lapse free), unless they were coming up the steps from SS+/810. (Apologies if there was anyone and I'm sure CDCs have some success stories too.)
I like my food and prefer a more gradual weight loss (around the 1500 mark). It also gives me more variety with my food. Life is too short for me to diet anymore. So if you do okay on 1200, then go for it because the losses will be faster. But as an alternative, think about eating and exercising a bit more to help the metabolism as well
Right now, I'm sitting just under/on 10 stone. I'd really like to get down to 9.5 stone but am not really going to start pushing for it until the end of next month. I'm really limited on what exercise I can do at the moment so I'm being extra careful with what I eat. The meds I am on also cause fluid retention.
I've been about 10% below my BMR and it's not made much difference for the last few months, as expected because I'm not as active and because of the meds. Once I can start exercising again (and it'll be a fair bit of exercise once I'm allowed to get going), I'll be aiming for a net calorie intake (ie food - exercise) of 1600. Unfortunately I won't be able to start until mid to late April. Then I'll start moving back up the calories to see how much I can eat without weight gain, if that makes sense.
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*butterfly*
Silver Member
Thank you all, its all helping a great deal. I agree Bess, in the reluctance to make it all such a big thing. I would hate the idea of becoming a diet bore and obsessed about thinness. But at the same time, it is a huge change i want to make. My usual way of eating was not 'normal' or balanced. I love cooking but would often accompany healthy stuff with unhealthy sauces etc. I have this idea that i actually want to try to have a diet that is primarily good for me... based on good nutritional principles. All my adult life i have either been dieting, or gaining, there has never been a happy middle ground. So i figure i actually need to be quite strict with myself initially, in terms of weighing/planning, otherwise i will never learn the things i want to. Hence i am choosing cal counting and low GI.
I have thought about WW or SW, Leeds123, and i know it works great for many people. But i have this feeling that again, i would be giving the responsiblility for my diet to someone else. I cannot really do the whole concept of 'free food', as my previous portion control was awful. I may well fall back to it eventually, who knows... but i think i'd like to try to do it for myself.
Thanks for the info on cals level Laura. I have altered my diet planner to go up to 1200 for a few days and then see how that feels, have considered then going to 14-1500. I would like to get to 9st 7lb initially, so have 12lb to go. Trying to get head round the fact that this can happen over a few months as opposed to the weeks i am used to. The more i think about it, the more i realise that this is probably the better way to ensure that i do not relapse. The old hare and tortoise scene..!
What i find quite difficult to comprehend are all the issues that i have no control over, fluctuations in metabolism, leptin impact.... i do not quite understand it all, although i am trying. I do not want to work really hard at it, then get all despondant if any freaky gains occur.
And, yes. Laura, i completely agree that increased exercise is the best way to also proceed, and i do want this, but i am genuinely struggling with spare time. Should be improved this week, as not so much overtime booked in.
Lots of fod for thought for me, thankyou.
Doing ok with food, did 3 days on around 1000, one disaster day of almost 2000. Which was actually quite useful learning experience. I had been at work from 8pm, had no tea to speak of, had cooked meal and bought with me, but then couldn't get on my break until 6am, ate biscuits....ooops! But, i did log them all and count them, which i wouldn't have previously. Doing ok today, looking at about 1300 i think.
Oh hec, didn't realise it was so late, got to dash... catch up soon. xx
I have thought about WW or SW, Leeds123, and i know it works great for many people. But i have this feeling that again, i would be giving the responsiblility for my diet to someone else. I cannot really do the whole concept of 'free food', as my previous portion control was awful. I may well fall back to it eventually, who knows... but i think i'd like to try to do it for myself.
Thanks for the info on cals level Laura. I have altered my diet planner to go up to 1200 for a few days and then see how that feels, have considered then going to 14-1500. I would like to get to 9st 7lb initially, so have 12lb to go. Trying to get head round the fact that this can happen over a few months as opposed to the weeks i am used to. The more i think about it, the more i realise that this is probably the better way to ensure that i do not relapse. The old hare and tortoise scene..!
What i find quite difficult to comprehend are all the issues that i have no control over, fluctuations in metabolism, leptin impact.... i do not quite understand it all, although i am trying. I do not want to work really hard at it, then get all despondant if any freaky gains occur.
And, yes. Laura, i completely agree that increased exercise is the best way to also proceed, and i do want this, but i am genuinely struggling with spare time. Should be improved this week, as not so much overtime booked in.
Lots of fod for thought for me, thankyou.
Doing ok with food, did 3 days on around 1000, one disaster day of almost 2000. Which was actually quite useful learning experience. I had been at work from 8pm, had no tea to speak of, had cooked meal and bought with me, but then couldn't get on my break until 6am, ate biscuits....ooops! But, i did log them all and count them, which i wouldn't have previously. Doing ok today, looking at about 1300 i think.
Oh hec, didn't realise it was so late, got to dash... catch up soon. xx
*butterfly*
Silver Member
Hi all,
Have got my new books. Gillian Riley one has been started and it makes fascinating food for thought so far, and it really reflects where my head is at. The whole idea that i do not want to diet, or focus any more on losing weight (although i will not grumble at such an effect), but on really achieving long term health in all aspects and positive choices in my eating. Don't get me wrong, my head of the past 35yrs is screaming 'but it won't taste as good/ be as satisfying/ eat...eat...eat/one won't hurt...you will only fail..you are still fat- don't eat...!' the list goes on... I need to keep in focus my goals for losing weight in the beginning. Yes, many were vanity/appearance related but many were health. And if i focus on making healthy living my goal, irrespective of weight/size, i can only win...surely? Now this is quite different to anything i have ever done before, but i know in my heart that is what i need to do, just for me.
I am still counting cals, planning good meals, still failing in the nibbles dept.... biscuits at work are not the choice i feel i should be making, but they were still my choice. One step at a time.... i can do this. So can you Bess, and all of us for that matter. Its just a windy, longer and more difficult road than we had hoped or expected. xx
Have got my new books. Gillian Riley one has been started and it makes fascinating food for thought so far, and it really reflects where my head is at. The whole idea that i do not want to diet, or focus any more on losing weight (although i will not grumble at such an effect), but on really achieving long term health in all aspects and positive choices in my eating. Don't get me wrong, my head of the past 35yrs is screaming 'but it won't taste as good/ be as satisfying/ eat...eat...eat/one won't hurt...you will only fail..you are still fat- don't eat...!' the list goes on... I need to keep in focus my goals for losing weight in the beginning. Yes, many were vanity/appearance related but many were health. And if i focus on making healthy living my goal, irrespective of weight/size, i can only win...surely? Now this is quite different to anything i have ever done before, but i know in my heart that is what i need to do, just for me.
I am still counting cals, planning good meals, still failing in the nibbles dept.... biscuits at work are not the choice i feel i should be making, but they were still my choice. One step at a time.... i can do this. So can you Bess, and all of us for that matter. Its just a windy, longer and more difficult road than we had hoped or expected. xx
Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
So well said Butterfly!
Glad you are enjoying Eating Less. It was just the right message at the right time for me and I've recommended it to so many people. I don't think she said anything I've not read before but it just really hit home.
Glad you are enjoying Eating Less. It was just the right message at the right time for me and I've recommended it to so many people. I don't think she said anything I've not read before but it just really hit home.
DisneyParis
An Attitude of Gratitude
Great post Butterfly.
It's a good book, after dropping it in some paint and drying it I read it again in the summer, peeling each page apart as I went!
What you say is absolutely right, we just mustn't give up, but I really don't think we will, not now. I'm liking the low GI diet, it's not very much different from what we normally eat, just a few tweaks here and there and no unsuitable treats! I really like the cranberry and cinnamon muffins that I made at the weekend, not so the brownies though. The hens can have them.
Like you I started this for health reasons, I had been thinking I must do something for ages and then a call back after my first mammogram (which thank God was ok, but scared us so,) made me take action. I want to live a long healthy life and am now doing all I can to make that happen. Stick at it Lorna, we are all with you. xx
and drying it I read it again in the summer, peeling each page apart as I went!What you say is absolutely right, we just mustn't give up, but I really don't think we will, not now. I'm liking the low GI diet, it's not very much different from what we normally eat, just a few tweaks here and there and no unsuitable treats! I really like the cranberry and cinnamon muffins that I made at the weekend, not so the brownies though. The hens can have them.
Like you I started this for health reasons, I had been thinking I must do something for ages and then a call back after my first mammogram (which thank God was ok, but scared us so,) made me take action. I want to live a long healthy life and am now doing all I can to make that happen. Stick at it Lorna, we are all with you. xx
*butterfly*
Silver Member
Thanks all,
Feeling too tired to post....! May have something to do with a sugar rush induced by a few squares of choc...or that the heating is on full and i have just had a busy day.. Doing reasonably well, have sts i think for a week. Getting less bothered by scales, more focused on trying to make right choices. Have still been having non-planned nibbles and occasionally going over planned calories, but its evening out so i am not too bothered. Its nice that it sort of feels like 'normal' eating. Not the amounts or types of food, compared to pre CD but the idea of actually eating meals and snacks on a regular basis. Have just discovered some 'cheat' soups, lentil, tomato. All low GI and low cal. Nice to have the odd thing on standby for lunches or rushed meals, so to avoid bad choices.
I understand your motivation after your scare Bess, must have been frightening. After my moms cancer, and now my nan, it does make you think twice. You hear so much about carcinogens in the environment and foods we eat. How x,y,z protects against various cancers. Never quite sure exactly what to believe though. I would like to think some of these changes could help. Not that i have the time nor energy to get all fanatical about it.
I'm tiredness waffling, off to chill out for hour pre bed, may be going swimming with Dd tomorrow. Note to self: not to do Haughmond Hill again. Its obviously once been beautiful, it is now a landscaped dog litter tray. Couldn't look around as too busy making sure we didn't step in any. Shocking. xx
Feeling too tired to post....! May have something to do with a sugar rush induced by a few squares of choc...or that the heating is on full and i have just had a busy day.
. Doing reasonably well, have sts i think for a week. Getting less bothered by scales, more focused on trying to make right choices. Have still been having non-planned nibbles and occasionally going over planned calories, but its evening out so i am not too bothered. Its nice that it sort of feels like 'normal' eating. Not the amounts or types of food, compared to pre CD but the idea of actually eating meals and snacks on a regular basis. Have just discovered some 'cheat' soups, lentil, tomato. All low GI and low cal. Nice to have the odd thing on standby for lunches or rushed meals, so to avoid bad choices.I understand your motivation after your scare Bess, must have been frightening. After my moms cancer, and now my nan, it does make you think twice. You hear so much about carcinogens in the environment and foods we eat. How x,y,z protects against various cancers. Never quite sure exactly what to believe though. I would like to think some of these changes could help. Not that i have the time nor energy to get all fanatical about it.
I'm tiredness waffling, off to chill out for hour pre bed, may be going swimming with Dd tomorrow. Note to self: not to do Haughmond Hill again. Its obviously once been beautiful, it is now a landscaped dog litter tray. Couldn't look around as too busy making sure we didn't step in any. Shocking. xx
DisneyParis
An Attitude of Gratitude
Butterfly, sounds like you are doing well and making good choices.
What a shame! People are amazingly selfish with their animals aren't they? Yesterday I was in the car park of a fairly swish garden centre eating my yummy pitta bread and salad lunch and a woman drove her car onto the grassy part where I was. She opened the door, let out 2 small dogs, who ran around, clearly knowing where they were. After peeing and pooing, she called them back into the car and drove off!! I was amazed, this is a really townie place with lots of children about and the grass wasn't a rough 'mind the dog poo' area!!
It was comedy corner there that day though. Another couple got out of a black car, having parked it to one which was identical. They went into the centre and came out very soon after but coudn't open the car door....I was laughing so much, they were trying to get into the wrong car! The woman realised first and even though she told the man, he kept on trying the door! Finally, he took notice of her, unlocked the right car and away they went yelling at each other.
Laugh a minute my days out are!
*butterfly*
Silver Member
Just about to finish a shift, tired and want to go to bed, have just worked with the most miserable, lazy, 'know it all' idiot of a nurse i have ever met. I like to think i am a tolerant person and tend to see good in most people, but this man drives me insane, i absolutely hate working with him. The sort of person that spends forever harking on about the 'good old days' and moans about how terrible things are now, which they are...but wouldn't be half as bad if he pulle his finger out and did some work! Rant over....
Haven't been fantastic food wise, do ok with meals but still struggling with snacking, which is bumping my cals up to maintaing level as opposed to losing. Need to try to get a bit more focused on those healthy choices, instead of giving in to the temptation. I know i will not feel any better for it, and in fact have experienced horrible tired periods which i know have directly been caused by food intake....must learn from this! tends to be boredom, on my own at home in evening, or at work in the biscuit tin, which are my bad times. Got to go, rush through last few notes before handover, then bed!! Will aim for a 100% healthy choice day i think. xx
Haven't been fantastic food wise, do ok with meals but still struggling with snacking, which is bumping my cals up to maintaing level as opposed to losing. Need to try to get a bit more focused on those healthy choices, instead of giving in to the temptation. I know i will not feel any better for it, and in fact have experienced horrible tired periods which i know have directly been caused by food intake....must learn from this! tends to be boredom, on my own at home in evening, or at work in the biscuit tin, which are my bad times. Got to go, rush through last few notes before handover, then bed!! Will aim for a 100% healthy choice day i think. xx
