My Personal Weight Loss Journey

Morning hon,

You really do sound like you've got it sussed and you've really made a life-changing realisation about food. You'll be fine in London, you seem to be naturally picking the best choices anyway.

Hope you have a great day xx
 
Morning all,

Thanks Clare for your comment...hoping that i'm not tempted by the "bad things" - I think as long as I keep bars on me/nibble when feeling hungry on something "allowed" it will stop me from giving in - the temptation is there, but I'm hoping to resist it.

Last night's meal was:
Tuna "nicoise" - you can have SOOOO much tuna, my God! I had one tin and that was under half the portion! So, I "topped up" the half with a couple of stray prawns from the freezer, and then used the other half to boil an egg. Salad leaves, cucumber and green beans completed the dish, with a bit of my dressing to make the tuna a bit more palatable. It was pretty substancial. I was annoyed though because I didn't boil my egg long enough so it was almost too runny, and it was too fresh, so didn't peel overly well. The one benefit is that the egg was delicious as it was from my Granny's chickens.

Today is another day at the office. I am feeling a bit peckish this morning, but nothing a couple of glasses of water and cups of tea can't solve. Guess what? There is still some pudding left from the dinner we had with friends last week in the fridge. And guess what? I've not been tempted at all. :)

xx
 
Flick you are doing flipping great :)

It doesn't shock me at all that the pudding doesn't tempt you but huge pat in the back & keep up the good work x x
 
Well done Flic! I find I can avoid all temptation at home / work etc - I've never once cheated. It's just when I go out I want to relax and not worry about food for a few hours! You are doing so well! xx
 
Morning Morning,

Have a long sales meeting this morning - not sure when i'm going to fit in my morning 1/2 product...all will be ok though. Prepping for going away tomorrow so lentil and squash stew from the book was made last night...not sure about it, but there we go. That's for Friday night's dinner.

Last night's dinner was: sort of quiche. Used my protein allowance for an egg, cottage cheese and prawns. whizzed up in the blender, but stupidly put the parsley in too so it was rather green. Veg allowance was a combination of leek, courgette, spinach and mushrooms. dry fried and then egg mix added and shoved under the grill. It was a little "wet" but still quite tasty, despite the green and wetness. Will be tweaking and making again.

Weigh in tomorrow morning before the trip - be interesting to see what my first week of Step 2 brings. I have really enjoyed the challenge of a "proper evening meal." Last night was quite hungry so rice pudding and hot milk at about 9pm.

In other news, There's been a slow leak at the back of the dishwasher and it was only when we bought new super bright lightbulbs by accident yesterday that we noticed the marks on the lino. Floor is soaked underneath and going mouldy. Luckily, we rent of the in-laws and they are deciding whether to claim on their landlord insurance or sort it outright. The lino was due to be replaced anyway - long story - so though it's not good, it is good...just hope I get to choose it...

So, it's Thursday and almost the start of my four day weekend! :)

xx
 
Morning!

Mmmm that quiche sounds quite tasty. I'm sure I have a slimming world recipe for something similar that will fit in with CD, I'll have a look when I get home tonight!

I'm really interested in your weigh in myself, I'm still scared of eating regularly so I'm hoping for me as well as you that you still have a loss!! (gosh that sounds selfish but you know wheat I mean!) Will be fab to be at target before your weekend away :)

Ooh maybe they can replace the whole kitchen for you ready for your new CD cooking experiences!! Hmm maybe not but new flooring will be good :) I love my kitchen, had it redone last year and I could spend all day in there now - maybe that's why I'm having to do this diet to begin with!!

If I don't speak to you before I hope you have an amazing weekend :)

xx
 
Hi Flick,

Hope weigh in went well ? I thought of you earlier as I tried the risotto and rather enjoyed " making it " as well as eating it lol.

Your quiche sounds fab like agree with clareb I'm sure I've had a very similar SW one which was also very yummy :)
hope you've had a great weekend x
 
Morning all,

so, WI went well - another lb off meaning I'm officially at my top target! :)

having a great time - I'm not going to mention the plan, only to say that the best laid intentions haven't really happened...don't worry - I've not gone crazy, just enjoying my time away. Feeling totally in control of it too and not letting my stomach rule my head!

will post proper when back at work on Tiesday and back to reality, but I hope you're all having a fun weekend. xxx
 
Yay congratulations on meeting your target!!!!!

Glad you're having fun - this new weight of yours is for like so you have to enjoy your life!!

xx
 
Morning all,

Well - i'm back after my trip and hanging my head in shame. Frustrated at myself and now need to sit down and work through what and where I went wrong.

So, Friday - weigh in and pretty much on plan. Breakfast, lunch and then we eventually got to London (a three hour journey took 6...not fun!) We went to our friend's local pub and OH said "just enjoy yourself this weekend." I had one gin and tonic and a little of the bar snacks that had been ordered, but for dinner - i'd taken down meals - a sausage cassoulet for everyone else and lentil and squash stew from the book for me - actually it was really delicious - even if it looked a bit gross! Then, my friend had made pudding and I had a small portion and decided against product three since i'd had the pudding. I went to sleep reading and thinking about step 3 and that it would be feasible for me to do that for the weekend...

Saturday morning came and our friends made cooked breakfast. I had my rice pudding, a boiled egg, some spinach and a little bit of bread. Calories calculated at a bit above 150cal as per step 3, but relatively good. Lunch. After a morning of wandering about Liberty's and Harrods, we ate in a little french restaurant. Salad to start and then some...pasta. Didn't finish the portion. Did some walking about after that and then a coffee in the afternoon. Dinner was turkish with a mezze of falafels, homous etc...then I had a mixed meat kebab and salad. Didn't eat a huge amount as I was pretty full. Tummy ache from eating too much.

Sunday morning was fruit, yoghurt, a little granola. Perfect breakfast, though still feeling a little delicate and full. Late lunch after visiting the V&A which was...pizza. We were with 5 other people and caution had pretty much been thrown to the wind. Delicious pizza but I think this was the start of my troubles. A bit more wandering in the evening and then chicken fajitas and carrot cake for dinner.

About 12.00pm, I started to get a bit of tummy ache. Then, literally every two hours...up and on the loo. All night and then into the morning too. We left London and had to stop a couple of times. I had yoghurt with fruit compote for breakfast, and half a bit of cake (which I shouldn't have had) and then started to feel better and OH wanted to stop for lunch. I had some soup and half a ham sandwich...and then needed the loo again. We got home and I was feeling a little brighter. Just wanted something light for tea, so chicken and broccolli with oven baked sweet potato. Relatively good until OH brought out the patisseries we'd brought back from London. Half a strawberry tart and a bit of lemon too...

Went to bed feeling a bit delicate and up at midnight, 2am, 3am, 4am, 6am... stomach still churning and feeling awful now. I'm at work, but seriously debating going home at lunch. Not only do I feel ill, I also feel quite retched in terms of how out of control I was.

I think the combination of me getting to target was a factor here, and also not being fully in control... I could have been so much better - I feel like such an idiot. I literally fell straight back into those old habits. I'm heading home feeling poorly with my tail between my legs and hoping to feel better in both senses tomorrow.

:-(

I think a lot more head work required - which I of course will post - to get me through the other side now.

xx
 
Hi Flic,

Did you have a good time though? PLEASE don't beat yourself up about it, I bet you ate less than half of what you would have eaten pre-diet. It doesn't sound too bad at all to me. Just make sure you get back on it now and forgive yourself. I bet you wont have gained much, if at all, I still lost after my 2 meals out last week. You haven't eaten properly for months and you've done so amazingly well you deserve a treat and more importantly to enjoy yourself. Let's face it you're not going to be going away all the time so even if you let your hair down for the weekends away it wont affect your overall plan and weight. It's what, 10 meals, out of 21 for a week or 90 for the month - it's nothing in the grand scheme of things. This is exactly why I'm planning to relax and have fun on my planned nights out this month - I'm not letting this diet ruin my life and as long as I follow a sensible eating plan for 99% of the time I'm happy.

You're still way ahead of your original target and you still have plenty of time to get down to your planned weight. Your eating habits and plans will be fine all the time you're at home and work and all your other regular things you can plan for but everyone has to have a break!

Okay, I've stopped ranting now! I hope your tummy is feeling better.

xx
 
First off get your head up lady!

Welcome to maintenance you’re no longer in kanas. As Clare said you made a lot of good choices and should look at this as one of life s little lessons. Unless you are one of the very few who can keep up the 100% for a life time you are going to have to learn to deal with the ups and the downs, sometimes we will over eat and sometimes we won’t. Assuming you’re never going to have another decadent break is for most of us pretty rash, are you really going to never have a pudding again? What your head needs to get round it is ok to have a treat now and again. Please stop ripping yourself up over this, that way you take the enjoyment out of the time you ve had. The best advice I can give is enjoy what you have and then now swiftly on. I hoping once you don t feel so ill you ll get a clearer picture.

You say you feel like you lost control and that’s probably quite freaky considering how in the zone you were. I have found that when im in the zone nothing on this earth can tempt me but once it leaves I still struggle with how quickly I can revert to old habits. Bare in mind I started my weight loss adventure over 10 yrs ago and have never regained 5 st the other 2.5 well I ve been working on that for yrs. I do see myself as a recovering addict and it’s the only addiction that you can’t abstain from. You have to work it into your life in a way that doesn t damage you physically or mentally.

Not that you ll get much comfort from it just now but the fact your body rebelled in such a way means it has hopefully cancelled out any weight gain.

Do not belittle what you ve achieved your are doing so fantastically well but if you let negative thinking get in ie what a failure I am, it opens the door to more negativity and that can lead to more time off the wagon. jxx
 
Flic do not be too disheartened by your fun weekend,we all have our off periods. ! If I had stuck ridged to plan I think I would be a further stone down and at goal now but that wouldn't be realistic to do with my current lifestyle and I can live with that compromise. Sometimes it's good to have a mini break off and know many people who will have allocated weeks/weekends off.
Look at what you have achieved ;) 48 hours of food will have a minimal impact on your massive overall weight loss. Just get back on your plan,you may be a bit hungrier as you stomach may have stretched ,but water ++++will sort that one

Think about xmas and how brilliant you have done. Congrats
 
Morning Morning ladies,

Well - I've made it around all of you lot, and got back to my own log.

Feeling better today in both senses. Read your comments ladies last night and almost had a little cry - it really does make a difference to have such incredible support, so thank you, thank you, thank you. I think the whole illness thing might have been a bug - with all the food not helping. OH bought me some lucozade and yakult yesterday as I was starting to look and feel rather drained...today i've not eaten yet - just plenty of water and peppermint tea. Stomach is feeling very tender, but not had to rush to the loo, and I had dinner last night.

So, you'll notice the first change is in my signature. What you said Skydragon about not being in Kansas anymore really resonated with me. I need to up my game as the easy bit's over. I think having this differentiation between the steps will help...or at least get my head around it. This is the upward battle, the hard slog and yes, I did find it all a bit scary how quickly I can abandon all my well thought ideas and plans - all I needed was the excuse and well, that's where I ended up!

So, yesterday I was sent home, feeling poorly and sorry for myself. I stopped at tescos and bought a sweet potato (for my dinner, if I wanted it. I felt like I needed something a little substantial and didn't want pasta or anything) some peppermint tea, some moist toilet tissue (sorry TMI) and a bag of vice-versas (I've never had them before, I don't know what possessed me, and they weren't even nice.) I ate them all, the whole pack, just like I used to do, and felt even worse afterwards. Literally old habits crept in before I could have a stern word with myself. What a stupid thing to do! I mean really - the lack of control just from feeling ill and rubbish about the weekend - I instantly forgot all of the hard work and focussed on cravings, rather than battling it with willpower.

After reading your comments, I had a good word with myself and remembered the journey i've been on and the next step that I need to begin. I have achieved sooo much and never thought I would get here - I don't need to let myself down now, just because i've "got to target" - I have literally spent the last zillion months telling myself i'm not going to do that! I reneged on my promise to myself to stick with this and that was the most scary. Ultimately, it is me who is in control of myself.

So, today is a fresh day. I am back on track - I was going to do SS but this week it's a bit tricky since we're out for dinner with friends tonight. I also figure that a better challenge for me is to stick with Step 2 and not use the comfort blanket of SS. I don't want to go back to go forward again if I can help it...and I don't think it would be particularly useful either since I need to learn about coping after SS. Does that make sense?

So, i'm using my milk allowance for Total 0% greek yoghurt today. Had that for "breakfast" with 2/3 lemon bar. I thought yoghurt would be good for my tummy to get it back to normal - i'm sure others have done this with milk allowance on step 2? Lunch is my old friend rice pudding. Fighting through the headache and sticking with the plan and thinking chicken and salad or steak and salad for dinner. Last night I had a step 3 dinner - got my scales out and weighed the sweet potato and had chicken and spinach with it. It was nice to have the plain, bland food - and my tummy enjoyed it too.

Also, worth noting, I decided to abandon my products which I had packed specifically for my trip, after breakfast on Saturday. Would keeping these up have kept me on plan better? Probably... Today is the first day of getting back to having them all. Yesterday I had 1/3 of my lemon bar, but obviously contraband chocolate was much more appealing to me... :( I decided since i'm having the yoghurt and yakult today that having a 3rd less bar isn't going to kill me.

So, I'm back. I'm back on plan. I'm feeling ok. I'm getting over my disastrous behaviour in London and moving on.

Things I have learned:
- Don't abandon what you've worked so hard for.
- Have a treat, but be wise, and don't let one treat dictate the rest of the day/week/month.
- If you're going to cheat, enjoy it in the moment, but don't let that cheat derail you.

Basically, all the same message really...I used the weekend as an excuse and once I had one bad meal under my belt, I was like a woman possessed. Not eating my products is indicative of me shunning CWP for "real" food and abandoning all the principles i've learned and told myself since being on plan. The plan should have been my backbone and my reason, but instead, I ignored it and fell into old habits.

So, clean slate, new page and onwards into maintenance and step 2. Challenge tonight of meal with friends, but a no brainer with regard to the meal as I am BACK ON TRACK.

xx
 
Also, meant to mention that this morning I hit the scales again...11st12lb. :( Despite having a rather poorly tummy, that's still 5lb of gain that needs eradicating...I will be weighing every day this week to keep myself on track, and hopefully start to see that number reduce!

xx
 
Flick, I agree 100% with the others and am pleased your feeling more in control today.

The 5lb will be gone as quick as it appeared !
I can relate to what you've said as I like you went a bit off track when I hit goal last time but I didn't come back here, I felt bad and that made things worse. Your here because you know we are all in the same boat and it's great you've logged how you were feeling and most importantly you recognise the intake made you feel worse.
It's a quick fix at the time, it gives us Instant gratification but that buzz soon goes and we inevitably feel worse. The key is to get used to being out & about and not to feel bad and get into a vicious circle.

I'm waffling but with only good intent, you know you can get back in the game and I have every faith you will be fine.

Big big hugs as it's not blooming easy but we're all here rooting you on x x x x
 
Morning all,

Well - yesterday was a much better day. Lovely meal with friends - main I stuck with chicken and salad - no chips or anything...I was doing really well until for some reason, I decided that sharing a pudding would be ok! I was supposed to stick to the plan! A little annoyed at myself and finding that willpower has definitely diminished - today I am going to be good and stick to it. I NEED to get myself back on track properly.

Other than that - I am feeling positive. Scales still aren't my friends but that's a consequence of my bad behaviour which I have to deal with. I just need to remember that number and stick with it. Tonight I am just at home so in full control! :) OH is out so I'll mostly be wrapping Christmas presents - a good distraction from thinking about food!

This afternoon I have a hospital appointment which I am not looking forward to...but after that, it's shipping more things sold on ebay, and buying some bras that fit! Haha. I've completely finished Christmas shopping now so I have a little money left to get myself some new things. I need basics, so a little trip to primarni for vests, long sleeve t-shirts and then might treat myself to some new jeans from Dorothy Perkins that actually fit!

Hope you're all having a lovely day!

xx
 
Morning Flick,

pleased your feeling better and sharing a pudding certainly isn't going wild so don't let that play with your mind.
I always say losing the weight is the easy part, keeping it off and maintaining is the hardest bit but once you get over this initial stage of getting onto food then you will be fine x x
 
Morning all,

I was ALMOST there yesterday. I had some supermarket sushi for my lunch. Took me to 1000 cals for yesterday which is almost there...Not an excuse but I had a doctors appt yesterday - for a colposcopy (basically, lots of jabbing about in your lady area...TMI, sorry!) and felt really retched afterwards. I wanted cheesecake, so think that I did ok...

Today I am GOING to be good all day. I'm about to have some breakfast - lemon bar today! :)

Hope you're all having a fab Friday. I'm not looking forward to seeing CDC tomorrow, but it'll be good to get her advice and also hopefully it'll get me back in the zone.

I will probably post a gain after WI tomorrow, but it gives me something to work with and I think this will then be the constant lifelong battle, so i'd best get used to it!

xx
 
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