Nikkis diary

uuuuuugggggggh God, Im ridiculously hung over and ALL I want to do is eat, eat, eat....

sh*t!!

Ive only 6.5 points left for the day. To make a it even worse, OH is going out tonight and I would love nothing more than a night on the couch with a takeaway (maybe some chocolate) and a good dvd. I mean would really love it.

Weigh in tomorrow though.

Oh help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It wouldnt be worth it.... hmmm.. but Id love it so much.
 
I lost 4lbs this week!. Weighed in at 11st 1lb this morning. 8 to go!!.. finally can update my ticker (feels like aaagggeess) as I've lost what I gained plus a little more... :D

Hope your all well!! xx

(ooh wonder if I could be "in the" 10's next week???? - I dont think I can actually remember when I last weighed 10 stone something..... please cross your fingers)
 
Yay well done :) ... great loss this week .... I hope you get to your lil goal next week hun xxx
 
I'm aiming to be in the 10s this week too!!! Argh! I'll cross my fingers and toes for both of us! x You're doing so well Nik!
 
Yay well done :) ... great loss this week .... I hope you get to your lil goal next week hun xxx

thank you so much pet, I'm really hoping for this one!! it'll make my week! xx
 
I'm aiming to be in the 10s this week too!!! Argh! I'll cross my fingers and toes for both of us! x You're doing so well Nik!

Oh wow! didnt realise you were the same too! brilliant! heres hoping! - I'll pop round to yours with a big cake to celebrate if we do he he he!! your such a little dote, Siobhan, thanks a million honey!! xx
 
Hey well done with your loss and OMG WELL DONE at your total loss so far.

WooooooooooooooW

thank you so much!! your giving me a big head now :D I really should be "on" further than I am, to be honest, I was a fat busting machine from April 07 til Feb 08 but then started messing around until the start of May :mad: managed to put on nearly a stone!! anyway! onwards and upwards (or downwards? he he)
 
wow nikki, ur stats are brillant! bet u cant wait to get to goal, and ur so close now! well done, ur an inspiration to the rest of us.
 
woo hoo!!!!! Only 8lbs to goal hunni!

WELL DONE!

XX
 
wow! thank you all for such lovely messages!!.

Sandy - not a clue how its happening!!! (although Im not complaining) havent done a thing differently except to be honest, getting really nervous about wedding and seemed to have lost my appetite for a while there (never happened me before he he!) yet, I kept eating all my points but I literally had to force food down my neck but dont know who that could make any difference at all seeing as I was eating same, if you know what I mean? maybe stressing and nervousness burns more calories??:D

Anyway, with that said - I've been a disaster!! here I go again - I struggled for so long to get back on the wagon and have been going full steam ahead for the past 4 weeks or so..

All ended yesterday, had the day off cos I had to go up to Dublin for an EGG (for that whole fainting thing) heres what I ate (aaarrggghh!!):

Sausage Sandwich 6.5pts
Chicken BLT baguette (burger king) 8.5pt
TWO cornettos
half a large bar of lindt chocolate
a takeaway from local restaurant: cajun dusted chicken in a really fattening sauce, 2 tortilla wraps, large tub of Guacamole (sp?), loads of chips and wedges..

and now today, Ive already gone 4 points over that Ill need to try pull back.

Am sooooooooooooo annoyed with myself!! Im so close!! if I just stopped faffing around, I could be at goal in a matter of weeks but nope.. I keep prolonging the agony. I could have been in the 10's next Monday but not a hope now and I REALLY wanted to be.... what the hell is wrong with me? I cant understand how I stayed determined for so long and now find it so difficult.

Maybe its that people are telling me the mandatory "dont loose anymore now" and OH keeps telling me Im getting too skinny (me? skinny? ha ha ha ha!!!!) - this is obviously only because I've lost alot of weight and people are comparing me to my former self - Im no way skinny but in contrast to this time last year....

I cant seem to have ONE treat over and above and let that be it.. nope, I have to go crazy altogether and it doesnt stop at one day either... after all these months you'd think Id have learned some responsibility towards food but it really looks like something Ill battle with forever :break_diet:
 
Hey Nikki

Have you thought about taking a break and maintaining for a few weeks? I'd like to say draw a line and start afresh tomorrow but I think we've all been there where we just cannot get back on track right away.

Treat yourself, have a bubbly bath, paint your nails, face pack etc. Youve done so well so far, its only natural youll have a few 'off' days.

Sorry I cant offer much help but if theres anything you want to rant about feel free!!! x
 
You're self-sabotaging hunny!!! It happens sometimes for some strange reason to most of us! Just remember why you started this, remember how far you have come, remember what you want to achieve and give yourself a kick in the buttocks!!! Stress can lead to self-sabotaging behaviour...try and find a way to relax a little. I have never planned a wedding but I totally understand that it is a big deal and very stressful xxx Vent on here, draw a line under it, wake up tomorrow and think thin!!! :) Get out a pic of your dress and imagine what you want to look like it in! You can do it doll!!! x
 
you are a pair of absolute dotes!! thank you so much for your lovely messages, I really appreciate it xxxxxx.

So, I put on 3lbs this week!!! was my own fault - I was reeeeeeeeeaaaly bad and Im not going to bother getting all down about it. Was a little annoyed because I could have definately been in the 10's this week and my dress fitting is only a matter of weeks away BUT its done now, no amount of feeling sorry for myself is going to make the pounds fall back off..

Im back (AGAIN!!) since Monday - doing kickstart (AGAIN!!) this week - managed to eat 14 points yesterday (saved 4) and plan to do the same today and finding it fine so far.

I have my cousins wedding on the 19th and cant wait!! (Thursday week), Although I planned to be alot smaller by now, I was really pleased as I bought a beautiful dress at Christmas, which I've never worn (still has tags on!) and it dawned on me it would be PERFECT for wedding, tried it on (its a size 14 and although Im usually a 10 now, its a not very generous type fitting dress, thought I might get away with it) anyway, it was absolutely HUGE on me! - ridiculously so - I brought it in to a lady to do alterations and when I tried it on she actually laughed at how silly it looked - she said shes going to have to take loads off it so that left me feeling really happy (even though its going to cost me more to alter it)

Anyway, It would be ridiculous to start going UP in sizes at this stage, so I can definately justify the cost...

Next weeks going to be hard, because I want to enjoy the wedding and will be eating the meal and drink LOTS so I dont expect a loss - plus I am a disaster to eat when hungover so am expecting Friday to be tough.

Really need a good loss this week.

That challenge thing in work only as 3 weeks left in it (including this one) so Ill have to go back to the girl to get weighed, measured etc.. and want to be down for that ...

God, cant believe how hard it is now that Im getting so close!!! if I didnt know me, Id give myself a huge kick up the a*se - so sick of being fat!!.

Oh, another lovely thing - went out with girls last week so bought a dress in a little boutique AND I HAD TO GET IT IN A SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME!!!! SMALL!!!!??? - it probably was a generous fit but anyway, the tag says "small" and I'm sticking to that... (generally XXXL:D)
 
Hiya

Its nice to hear you sounding more positive! And youre a size 10! TEN!!! I am so looking forward to being a size ten (hence my screen name) and getting clothes that say small!!!

As I said before you have done so well so far so maybe u just have to relax and go back to basics. Track all your points, plan your meals etc, good luck with kickstart and I hope you have a great week! xxx
 
aw thank you so much again wannabe xx I cant believe Im a 10 to be honest - was a 20 this time last year!! - to be honest I dont know how it fits - cos Im a big 10, I shop in Awear and Coast alot and think that they are quite generous with sizes, as in there 10 is actually a 12 etc.. but anyway, again, the label says 10 so Im sticking with that!!:D

Im going to start scribbling down here what Im eating, as last time I did that it seemed to work for me, that I was more accountable that others would be looking...

Yesterday, I had:
Brekkie:
2 slices brown bread (2pts)
butter (1pt)
Strawberry Jam (0.5)

lunch: (yuck - sustains)
2 slices low GI brown bread (2pts)
lettuce, tomato, onion and cucumber (0)
(in a sandwich)

Dinner:
Big salad of:
Lettuce, tomato, scallion, grated carrot, cucumber (0)
2 laughing cow cheese triangles chopped really teeny (1pt)
2 tablespoons of extra light mayo (0.5)
1 slice of toast (chopped into croutons) (1pt)
3 chicken goujons (chopped teeny) (4pts)

late night snack:
Bowl of rice crispie multi grain (1.5)
milk (0.5)

14 used (4 saved) (on kickstart)


Today

Brekkie:
2 slice brown bread (2pts)
butter (1pt)
Strawberry Jam (0.5)

Lunch:
2 slices brown bread (2pts)
lettuce, tomato, onion, cucumber (0pts)
(as a sandwich)

dinner: (on the go)
chicken BLT baguette from Burger King (8.5pts) (yum!!)

snack:
ww raspberry and chocolate brownie dessert thingy (3.5)

17.5 used (0.5 saved)
 
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