Nurseberyl's Diary

Bite the bullet, get on the scales and then you'll know what you are facing... How are you meant to get started again if you don't even know what mountain you are climbing?!?!?

You can do it, we're all here to help. x
 
I am Starting my diary again as I'm back on track!

Anyway I have spent a lovely weekend with the b/f. Ate sensibly ish (he is such a feeder!).

Something is really bugging me tho. My b/f has this really close girlfriend, they had sec once before I knew him. But she is so clingy and demanding and bf is constantly Texting her. This pisses me off. So a while ago I checked his phone. I know, crazy jealous chick alert. I read their texts and he was going on about how it made him sad that they never made it as a couple. That mad me madder and I told him a friend had said this to me, is it true sort of thing (didn't want him to know I looked at his phone). He said no way, yes I was sad at the time but I love you blah blah. Bollocks? Why tell her recently in a text then?

Sorry it's long! So this weekend he's Texting away I know it's her and ask him and he says it's her, and her bf dumped her again. So later I check his phone toss what she said, and the messages are gone, he deleted them, left all the others but only hers are gone. Did it again the next night and he had deleted them again. Yes I know I'm being a crazy stalker. But what is that about? I want to ask him but then he will know I'm reading his texts :/ any advice? Apart from stop being a crazy cow?? Xx
 
I don't think you're a crazy cow. I think you've got reason to be suspicious. I would be. Though I don't agree with going through phones and that on the sly.
 
When I was with my ex I was a crazy jealous person. Trust is so important in a relationship and I drove myself mad because I didn't have it. However the reason I didn't trust him was because my gut instincts were right and he could not be trusted!!!

For example after a day with some g/f's I was chilling at his house when one of my g/f's called and asked if she'd left her wallet in my car I gave ex my keys and asked him to look. He came back saying no. A few days later I went into his wardrobe to get a fresh bar of soap and there is my friends wallet... He'd found it in my car and stolen the money!!! I tried to give him another chance after this, after he begged me, but evenually he did start seeing other people behind my back and things broke down completely.

Be honest with bloke about how you feel, you are meant to be able to communicate your fears with a trusted OH, even if those fears are about him!!! He might just be saying these things to make his mate happy, but he should know this makes you feel a bit psycho and like you want to sneak a peak at his phone! If he carea about the trust then he should be prepared to work on things, but none of this can be done properly without honesty.

Good luck! x
 
Youre so right, thanks...

I am not usually like this, I am never the jealous type and I wasnt until I really got into him (it took nearly a year) and now I really like him Ive turned into a mad woman! I dont think he is sleeping with her, he is the most amazing bf, he is funny, caring soo into me and affectionate, he would do anything for me and Ive not ever seen him loose his temper no matter what moody crap i throw at him! but something was said and its bugging me, couldnt sleep last night. And i have a gut feeling and my feelings are always right. Gonna use your line Lindsey about it making me a bit psycho lol... But I have to tell him i read his phone now he wont trust me, but I dont really trust him so its just a disaster. And we just booked a holiday to Spain urgh! x
 
These sorts of things are so so hard, especially when you have strong feelings for him.
I think you just need to be honest in this situation and tell him how it is affecting you. No one should ever be made to feel paranoid and suspicious, it can only lead to bad things and will just tear you both apart.
I think on one hand you need to stay strong and show him that you are cool with him having contact with his ex. After all it is you that he is with. But, on the other hand you can't let him take the piss, and he should be told straight down the line that lying and secrets are not acceptable and if you ever feel this is happening you will simply walk away from the relationship. Show him that you really like him, but at the same time are strong and fantastic enough to live without him if he messes you about.

Bloody men eh? :)
 
Squeezyweezy said:
These sorts of things are so so hard, especially when you have strong feelings for him.
I think you just need to be honest in this situation and tell him how it is affecting you. No one should ever be made to feel paranoid and suspicious, it can only lead to bad things and will just tear you both apart.
I think on one hand you need to stay strong and show him that you are cool with him having contact with his ex. After all it is you that he is with. But, on the other hand you can't let him take the piss, and he should be told straight down the line that lying and secrets are not acceptable and if you ever feel this is happening you will simply walk away from the relationship. Show him that you really like him, but at the same time are strong and fantastic enough to live without him if he messes you about.

Bloody men eh? :)
Click to expand...

Thanks S, I have sent him a very long text saying how i feel, but not had a reply yet!

I dont like feeling like this, its total crap! On the plus side its totally taken away my appetite!
 
nurseberyl said:
Thanks S, I have sent him a very long text saying how i feel, but not had a reply yet!

I dont like feeling like this, its total crap! On the plus side its totally taken away my appetite!
Click to expand...

LOL!!! Yeah, I have been there hun. Does wonders for weight loss, but not you sanity. Probably not a sensible weight loss plan either. Try to eat a light snack or something, and make sure you drink plenty. (water not Vodka!!!)

Lots of love
 
Squeezyweezy said:
LOL!!! Yeah, I have been there hun. Does wonders for weight loss, but not you sanity. Probably not a sensible weight loss plan either. Try to eat a light snack or something, and make sure you drink plenty. (water not Vodka!!!)

Lots of love
Click to expand...

LOL, thanks, have had lots of water, and a chicken paste, yes chicken paste sarnie for lunch! My mindee fancied it so I thought why not, and it was ok, dont know if Id have it again though!!

Have had a long phone call from the bf, he told me he deletes texts that arent long conversations, and that he would never ever go there with ms needy, and I can happily look at his texts and fb convos if I wish whenever I want, (bit late now but hey ho). He was sorry for making me feel like that, he didnt realise he was being secretive blah blah, and yes he did tell her she was brilliant and gorgeous etc as he would with any friend who has just been dumped. I told him to lay off calling other people gorgeous though lol. it was actually a brill speech haha! And he has booked us tickets to Spain in august so he cant afford 2 girlfriends really! woo!

So thank you for all your messages girls I was going insane there....

Dinner tonight is grilled chicken with salad, have discovered a Mary Berry (?) salad dressing that is soooo yum, (£4 a pop yum), so most of my cals are going on a salad dressing!!

Hope everyone is beating the monday blues xxx
 
Hi I'm new to your diary... glad you got the B/F all sorted and bless him for taking you to Spain. I think it's always hard when one of you has friends that are the opposite sex. I have to admit when I was a lot younger I used to hold onto ex's numbers for when the need ever arose LOL but when I found my 2nd Hubby that need went away and now I am only still friends with 2 ex boyfriends (one is my Best Mate's brother so I don't have a lot of choice and the other is just like a mirror of me). My hubby doesn't really have any close girlfriends but I get jealous when he starts talking about going for lunch with ex-work colleagues who happen to be women.... I can't help myself!

I wouldn't worry about reading his phone I think I would have done the same thing sometimes its the things we do just to keep us from going nutty but I think your BF's friend does sound a little scary/needy, maybe he thinks it's better to keep friendly with her rather than not?! She may all go Fatal Attraction on him.... quick hide the bunnies!
 
nurseberyl said:
LOL, thanks, have had lots of water, and a chicken paste, yes chicken paste sarnie for lunch! My mindee fancied it so I thought why not, and it was ok, dont know if Id have it again though!!

Have had a long phone call from the bf, he told me he deletes texts that arent long conversations, and that he would never ever go there with ms needy, and I can happily look at his texts and fb convos if I wish whenever I want, (bit late now but hey ho). He was sorry for making me feel like that, he didnt realise he was being secretive blah blah, and yes he did tell her she was brilliant and gorgeous etc as he would with any friend who has just been dumped. I told him to lay off calling other people gorgeous though lol. it was actually a brill speech haha! And he has booked us tickets to Spain in august so he cant afford 2 girlfriends really! woo!

So thank you for all your messages girls I was going insane there....

Dinner tonight is grilled chicken with salad, have discovered a Mary Berry (?) salad dressing that is soooo yum, (£4 a pop yum), so most of my cals are going on a salad dressing!!

Hope everyone is beating the monday blues xxx
Click to expand...

Sounds like a really positive phone call hun. The problem with some men is that they never do think there is a problem until you spell it out for them. So, I think you did the right thing. Keep positive about everything and see how the next couple of weeks go. Just remember how brilliant and gorgeous you are, no matter what happens! :D

I love Mary Berry. She is best known for her baking, and I probably have 15 of her recipe books (obviously, cakes!!). I had no idea she had a salad dressing. Where is it from, and what is it called? Do tell. x
 
Samalama said:
Hi I'm new to your diary... glad you got the B/F all sorted and bless him for taking you to Spain. I think it's always hard when one of you has friends that are the opposite sex. I have to admit when I was a lot younger I used to hold onto ex's numbers for when the need ever arose LOL but when I found my 2nd Hubby that need went away and now I am only still friends with 2 ex boyfriends (one is my Best Mate's brother so I don't have a lot of choice and the other is just like a mirror of me). My hubby doesn't really have any close girlfriends but I get jealous when he starts talking about going for lunch with ex-work colleagues who happen to be women.... I can't help myself!

I wouldn't worry about reading his phone I think I would have done the same thing sometimes its the things we do just to keep us from going nutty but I think your BF's friend does sound a little scary/needy, maybe he thinks it's better to keep friendly with her rather than not?! She may all go Fatal Attraction on him.... quick hide the bunnies!
Click to expand...

Hahah lol, thanks for replying. i could kick myself for getting jealous and reading his phone, first time Ive ever done that in my life, hopefully the last, i would go mad if he did that to me! x
 
Squeezyweezy said:
Sounds like a really positive phone call hun. The problem with some men is that they never do think there is a problem until you spell it out for them. So, I think you did the right thing. Keep positive about everything and see how the next couple of weeks go. Just remember how brilliant and gorgeous you are, no matter what happens! :D

I love Mary Berry. She is best known for her baking, and I probably have 15 of her recipe books (obviously, cakes!!). I had no idea she had a salad dressing. Where is it from, and what is it called? Do tell. x
Click to expand...

Thanks hon... Yes men are totally useless at reading the signs, the me yelling "oh its always bloody her" when he told me it was her texting didnt even give him a hint!

I got the dressing from Tesco I think she does a few flavours one is lemon and thyme which is lush. I got the classic one I think. No wonder its so damn tasty I had 280 calories worth apparently!! :cry: this cant be right!! x
 
Yay, honesty and communication win the day!!! Never forget how key those two things are in a relationship, I'm so pleased he reacted in the way a good b/f should! x
 
So Ive had 4 ryvita thins and a bowl of cereal thats 400ish calories already... Makes you see how easy it is to overeat.. and the bowl of cereal was really small!! POO. I lost 1lb this week which im happy with as the weekend was a tiny bit naughty. Managed to sleep okish for a change so feel alright, going to have a skinny caramel latte in a bit with friends. More calories and its not even 11 yet. I feel this is going to be a hungry day :/
 
ugh total crap day, was starving so had my lunch, then a 2 finger kit kat, a cake bar, a fairy cake and a chocolate tea cake thingy. Bollocks!!

All this after I saw my reflection in the cafe window and was totally disgusted! I look bigger than ever, and I thought I looked ok today.... Doh.........
 
You only look bigger because your mind is making you feel guilty for eating crap!!!

Ignore it!!!! Draw a line under the bingey afternoon, and get back in the saddle. You will be fine. A couple of stupid cakey things won't make a difference, unless you let it. :D
 
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