ok lets tell a story, not a weight watchers story!

[kimmie]

....so with that sorted sheila and donald decided to move on to the local...

 

[x kelly jelly belly! x]

ladies tea dance.lovely old songs played loud and clear whilst the beauties danced...can i have this dance donald whispered......

 

[paula 36]

we have been so busy i have missed you blowing in my ear.Have you missed....................

 

[Clair]

what has been going on in Eastenders this week?

 

[Taz]

...Deal or no deal? It's on every night. What do you...

 

[x kelly jelly belly! x]

usually think of noel edmonds hair? its more often than not quite styled but last nites game, his hair was........

 

[kimmie]

so repulsive i actually through up in my mouth a little bit...

 

[x kelly jelly belly! x]

...trying not to get it all over myself,i reached for the tissues at the side of me but to my horror....

 

[kimmie]

..reaching for the tissues was my biggest mistake because they were covered in white sticky stuff from last nights....

 

[Clair]

I felt something hot and slimey. I looked over at my hand and gasped as i saw that it was a...

 

[x kelly jelly belly! x]

...suntan cream. i had only been on the sunbed for 3 minutes and burnt to a crisp.i was so sore all over my body,i could hardly move to....

 

[kimmie]

...open my carton of curry n rice, probabbly best i thought! but then....

 

[x kelly jelly belly! x]

naughty as it may sound,i decided to phone my ex-boyfriend!! i was with him for 4 years,he was called norbit....

 

[kimmie]

the great norbit.... ah how i missed him, suntan cream always reminded me of norbit, the phone stopped ringing, norbit answered and said....

 

[x kelly jelly belly! x]

DONT HANG UP....i was nervous as it was now norb had me hanging on...a few rustles later his husky voice came back on the phone... hello,sorry about that...who is it...i nervously replied......

 

[kimmie]

...damn norbit... u sound so husky! iv missed your crooners voice so much, will you our song to me? you know the one that starts with....

 

[x kelly jelly belly! x]

hey little baby dont u cry,norbs gunna dry your eye,if u cry them tears some more, norbies gunna show you the door....oh how it brought back memories...he carried on the sweet sweet song.....

 

[kimmie]

...gonna buy you all the things you need, our love i know will succeed!! your all i need to get by, you make me wanna sing in a voice soooo hhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! and with that the song ended, i was....

 

[x kelly jelly belly! x]

shaking with excitement as i reminded myself how macho he sounded when he sang in my face,and the high bit used to make me melt,as it just did like old times.i was all hot and bothered and was ready to ask him if he would like to meet up,when suddenly......

 

[kimmie]

..."you ***** norbid seethed down the phone" i could hear his spit reverbarate off the telephone speaker!! you have me on loud speaker dont you, thats why you made me sing..so you and your new fella could laugh at me, isnt it, i know all about donald....