Okay, its about time I started noting what I eat..and what better place than here.

[thin_inside]

Em - looking fabulous in your pic. Hard to believe you have just lost loads of weight.

And as Sean says, so very adult in your food thoughts and plans. I hope to be just like you and Sean in RTM. A sensible, adult approach with a tough of rebellious child pushing at the boundaries a little.

 

[slendablenda]

Well done Em. Looking great girl !

 

[EmVeg]

Thanks Guys.

I've been a bit quiet because been enjoying my holibobs...but also realised I'm wasn't in such a great place mentally as I thought - I was/am getting obsessive and its taking over a large part of my mental space. Actually looking at my calorie counter online I have not gone over 900 calories yet on RTM, which I really would have been aiming for 3-4 weeks ago. I have REALLY been limiting myself and been miseable with always having to say no to ANYTHING that I hadn't had.

Its a hard adjustment to make - eating again - but I know I'll get there. I just need to relax with it a bit otherwise I'm scared it really could develop.

Obviously its showing under a microscope here, at home I know how I'm cooking my meals and what goes into it - here I'm in the hands of the chefs in the restaurants - and as much as I order the healthiest thing on there and request them cooked the way I want them - I can't be 100%! It's making me panic, I've skipped both packs I should be on nearly every day as "insurance".

 

[Sean(JSF)]

STOP THAT THOUGHT

I'm 100% with you though, the whole weight loss cycle has been a way of life for almost 1/2 a year it really does become addictive (and we all have addictive personalities or we wouldn't have had to seek out LL in the first place). It is really challenging letting yourself 'go' when away from home, but best advice I can think of is to make healthy choices and be in control of that, and just trust others to keep their side of the bargain. I've also missed packs, but usually as I just haven't felt that I needed them, but you may be right on a subconscious level.

Easy to say, difficult habits to break though. Enjoy the holiday, it'll all be fine.

 

[EmVeg]

Hi guys - just plodding in quickly to let you know I haven't gone off the rails!

I'm enjoying my hols, stuck the the plan for the majority but not been scared to dip my toes into "the real world". I've stopped logging food out here and I've been making choices regarding food as and when I've needed too. I haven't been a 100% angel - but I've been to the gym every other morning, and seem to have put on half a pound - which I'm not fretting about - I know I haven't gone mad and I'm not obsessing anymore. I feel freer - and I know that once home I can join the local gym as it seem my hip can stand it. Joys.



PS. I'm also not fretting because I bought a pair of Deisel jeans that I'VE ALWAYS WANTED - 27 inch pair and they're a tab baggy!

 

[daisydoll]

hi em
you are doing great!
i have just got some diesel jeans too as i always wanted some (28" for me tho)
daisy x

 

[EmVeg]

Hey all - back in good 'ol blighty and feeling pretty good about the last three weeks. Was naughty and had a quick weigh in on my home scales and its showing 3lb under my last LL weigh-in so can't be doing that bad! Will see what it shows on the LLC scales... but you know what - I don't actually care. I'm happy with how I feel, how my clothes feel and how I look so the scales are a little redundant at this point.

Breakfast: Apple on plane

Lunch: ham salad

PM Snack: Blackberries with dollop of yoghurt.

Dinner: Mince with lettuce wraps, sweet potato chips and side salad.

Evening: LL Bar crumbles and mixed with yoghurt.

 

[slendablenda]

Welcome back Em

I think it's a real sign of success when the scales are not the main focus any more. It's all to do with how you feel about yourself.
CONGRATULATIONS - you've obviously got it just right. xxx

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Welcome Home Em

Glad you enjoyed the holiday and delighted you're comfortable around food & with weight.

RESULT

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Welcome Home Em

Glad you enjoyed the holiday and delighted you're comfortable around food & with weight.

RESULT

 

[EmVeg]

Missed me that much you just had to post twice Sean

Thanks you two, feeling MUCH more comfortable with trusting myself now - oh joy.

Breakfast: LL Shake

Lunch: Salad with wafer thin roast chicken. Yum.

PM Snack: Blueberries & Strawberries with dollop of yoghurt

Dinner: 3 quorn sausages with cauliflower mash and carrots/brocoli and gravy.

Before Bed: LL Bar with cup of tea! *sigh - feeling perfect*

Today has been a busy one - doing the garden, sorting through the suitcases, spending about 6 hours in the kitchin cleaning up after my brother has been left in the house for two weeks alone (I am not kidding you)!!! Don't think I've been off my feet until 5 mins ago when I logged on here!

Am re-joining my old gym tomorrow so I can go for a half hour swim or work on the exercise bike in my lunch hour or before/after work (literally next door). Both the docs and physio had recommended it but I didn't think my hip was up to it - but after doing it in the resort gym the past two weeks I think I'm ready. Last time was my last attempt to lose weight and I went way too far with it - was there for at least an hour and a half a day, sometime with one or two hour classes on top of that, and it got silly.

Now I'm going to make sure I just have my stuff with me in my car and will go when I want. I mean - I'll try to keep it to 3 times a week but I don't know if I'll need to try anymore. Its not all about losing weight now - I actually care about my health and my fitness which I think is a MUCH better motivator.

I'm in a good place. I am dreading going back to work - I really ****ing hate my work - but I know its a means to an end. Its not my life and I won't be doing it forever.

 

[EmVeg]

Whoops - messed up a little. Got home in a foul mood (yes I ****ing HATE HATE HATE HATE my job and every single second in that place depresses me so) and rushed about making my dinner. Was going to cook something but couldn't be bothered so made a salad - but thought bread was included in the staples like an idiot for had 3/4 of a tortilla wrap with it. Oh well, not the end of the world. Don't feel bloated, and whereas I had 3/4 and threw the rest away 6 months ago I would have had 3 with my meal and then addictively eaten the rest of the pack throughout the night. Will watch out for that tonight but I didn't feel "compelled" to eat like I used to. Good times.

Snacked a bit too much today I think.... I don't know 2 apples and a banana throughout the day isn't bad - but I know a lot has to do with how **** I feel.

Breakfast: LL Shake and bowl of strawberries and blackberries with dollop of yoghurt

AM Snack: small apple

Lunch: Tuna salad with balsamic vinegar and an apple

PM Snack: Med banana

Dinner: roast chicken slices with lots of salad and balsamic vinegar and 3/4 tortilla wrap.

Evening: 1/4 LL Bar with dollop of yoghurt or pot of sugar free jelly.

Before bed: 2/4 LL bar with cup of tea.

Have my cals at around 1200 - 1300 which is about where I should be in trigger weeks so not worried I skipped with the bread.

On to my meeting - joy.

 

[Minerva]

._.

*pets you gently* ... what do you do for a living? Perhaps you can start looking at other vacancies or were you thinking of going back to Uni?
And the reason for you being annoyed is that rebellious child yelling at you because he still wants to be on holiday in Florida! It's probably nothing to do with your job as such - because it would still be the same as it was 3 weeks ago. It's just that you don't have that 'treat' of a holiday to look forward to. It's just a long stretch that you need to keep going through. ... Ahh such is life.

You're doing really well food-wise. Much better than I am in any case. ... Blah.

:hug99:

 

[EmVeg]

I've know I don't like my job for a long time - the amount of time I spend crying about it all told me that.

Like this morning before stepping into the office - dreading every second.

I am not happy working in an office. I feel useless, redundant and like I am wasting every minute of my life I spend in front of this computer working. I don’t see any point in what I am doing. It has nothing to do with where I work – I still think this is a good place to work, and the job that I have is a decent one – but the fact that I can appreciate that but still feel the way I do just makes me feel even stronger that this just isn’t the profession for me. I can’t handle working in an office and hating every minute of it – I need to be doing something else. Those people that can leave it all at the door, come in, do their jobs and go home and forget about it – well, fair play to them. But, I can’t. I walk out of the office and still carry that feeling of wasting my life, the upset I feel in the office stays with me for a lot of the time.

I loved working with kids – when I was at the nursery I truly loved my job. I loved almost every bit of it – including sweeping the floor, changing the nappies, sorting out those accidents after nap time. The only thing that got me down before was the travel (up to two hours bus travel/walking for get 5-10 miles away) because it took so much time away from me, the cliqueyness of the girls – which I think I could deal with much better now, plus I made my own friends there too, and most importantly the money. I was on so little that my enjoyment of the job was over-shadowed by how skint I was constantly.

Oh - I don't know.

 

[EmVeg]

Okay - so I lost 3lb whilst away....turn up for the books.

Breakfast: LL Shake and bowl of strawberries.

Lunch: Tuna salad with balsamic vinegar. Apple

Dinner: 75g wholewheat pasta with chicken breast, onion, mushrooms, sweet peppers, spinach and tinned chopped tomatoes.

"Pudding"/Snack: Pot of sugar free jelly.

Late Evening: LL Bar

Am very happy with myself - not only did I listen to my body (and not my mind - which by the way is feeling heavy with all this hating..) and not snack unneccarily during the day even with allocated snacks in my bag...but I also left the majority of my dinner (mainly the pasta and chicken) which I would never have done before!!

 

[daisydoll]

well done em!
daisy x

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Great attitude, still shining through

 

[EmVeg]

Today's Food

Breakfast: LL choc shake and bowl of strawberries with a spoonful of yoghurt

AM Snack: Banana

Lunch: Tuna salad with balsamic vinegar (yeah, all there is at the work canteen that I'm comfortable with atm)

PM Snack: Apple

Dinner: poached Salmon fillet finished off grilled with a little cajun spices, served with a little lemon juice, small jacket potato with small bit of yoghurt, brocoli and carrots. (god - lets see how much of this I eat!)

Evening snack (if nedded): Pot of sugar-free jelly.

Late Evening: LL Bar

 

[EmVeg]

Wow, who would have thought that you don't need half a tub of butter and a block of cheese on your baked potato to make it taste good. On its own its actually pretty damn lovely!!

Plus - I never realised that its doesn't have to be the size of my head but smaller than my fist to be pretty comfortable.

*sigh*

 

[EmVeg]

Struggling a bit emotionally at the moment... but thankful that where I would have been bingeing or at least desperately trying to keep away from all the things I was constantly thinking would make me feel better.

Not saying that I'm having no problems with food, but even now in a certain state of mind I'm in I'm feeling comfortable around food.

Today Food

Breakfast: LL Choc Shake

Lunch: Tuna, beetroot, beansprouts, asparagus, water chestnuts, sweet peppers, sweet onion, tomato, mixed salad leaves.

PM Snack: Banana

Dinner: Stir fry diced beef in light amoy sauce, with stir fry veggies (LOOOOOTTTTSSS OF) and 100g Udon noodles.

Evening Snack: warm apples and raspberries with dollop of yoghurt and 1/4 LL bar crumbled on top

Late Evening: 3/4 LL Bar