Ossireo
Full Member
I seem to be always thinking about restarting and getting nowhere. I am very much an emotional eater and most certainly an excellent self saboteur.
I started work at the end of May this year after staying at home with my son following a voluntary redundancy and a recovery from a seven year period of depression and anxiety. I managed to start to lose weight after the removal of my Mirena Coil (which to this day I am convinced was the main cause of many of my problems) and started at 16st 6lbs and over the year lost 2 stone.
Since starting work and having my partner move in with me I have struggled. The jump into full time work was hard and my relationship is not an easy one as we both have many insecurities and both always seem to be on the defensive which leads to a fair bit of bickering, which in turn usually leads to my downfall with food. This then leads to me getting very angry with myself as I feel disappointed and very much a failure.
Ultimately the idea behind creating a diary and it being more than just a food diary is to maybe be a place to offload when I feel upset. I wish it could be a way to stop the constant bickering, maybe in time it will be as I may not let things bottle up so much if I waffle on here about them. I want things to work with my diet and I want things to work with my OH, just sometimes I wish they could be a bit smoother and relaxed.
This weekend has been a very indulgent one. It was my birthday on 17th, my cousins wedding on 19th and Legoland on 20th so myself, mum and son spent 3 nights in a hotel and we have pretty much eaten anything and everything in sight. My weigh day is on Wednesday and some weeks I cannot make it to class as work can run over at times.
I know this week is going to be a massive gain but the line needs to drawn as I am not going to back into 18's dammit! There are 14 weeks left in 2009 and by the start of 2010 I want to be firmly in the 13st bracket.
I will update here as and when I feel the need, whether is be good, bad or downright ugly!
I started work at the end of May this year after staying at home with my son following a voluntary redundancy and a recovery from a seven year period of depression and anxiety. I managed to start to lose weight after the removal of my Mirena Coil (which to this day I am convinced was the main cause of many of my problems) and started at 16st 6lbs and over the year lost 2 stone.
Since starting work and having my partner move in with me I have struggled. The jump into full time work was hard and my relationship is not an easy one as we both have many insecurities and both always seem to be on the defensive which leads to a fair bit of bickering, which in turn usually leads to my downfall with food. This then leads to me getting very angry with myself as I feel disappointed and very much a failure.
Ultimately the idea behind creating a diary and it being more than just a food diary is to maybe be a place to offload when I feel upset. I wish it could be a way to stop the constant bickering, maybe in time it will be as I may not let things bottle up so much if I waffle on here about them. I want things to work with my diet and I want things to work with my OH, just sometimes I wish they could be a bit smoother and relaxed.
This weekend has been a very indulgent one. It was my birthday on 17th, my cousins wedding on 19th and Legoland on 20th so myself, mum and son spent 3 nights in a hotel and we have pretty much eaten anything and everything in sight. My weigh day is on Wednesday and some weeks I cannot make it to class as work can run over at times.
I know this week is going to be a massive gain but the line needs to drawn as I am not going to back into 18's dammit! There are 14 weeks left in 2009 and by the start of 2010 I want to be firmly in the 13st bracket.
I will update here as and when I feel the need, whether is be good, bad or downright ugly!