Pheonix's Diary

Have just read my whole diary again , woke up this morning feeling really hungry but dont want to start the packs this early so needed a distraction , anyway its passed now

outcome of the heart tests I had was that my heart does extra beats and the reason is that it is very susceptible to stimulants , after a little experimenting with my heart myself , was a bit scary by the way trying to make my heart do weird things , I realised that the sweetners in my coffee were triggering extra beats , sometimes up to a dozen in a minute , they are not like fluttering sensations , but a big thud in my chest , sometimes so big I swear I can actually hear it , followed by a moment of breathlessness . Ive also cut my coffee intake by half , so 4 cups a day instead of 8

happy to report the extra beats have stopped altogether

I told my son last week about it , didnt want to worry him before and it turns out he had exactly the same thing last year and had some tests too , he didnt want to worry me ha ha , anyway Gp told him same thing , sensitive heart doing extra beats and hes cut down on coffee and no longer has red bull etc

must be a family thing , we are sensitive souls , hopefully they wont pick anything up when he has his army medical next week


Ive been in and out of my wardrobe last few days and finding alot of my size 14 stuff now fits and my 16 things no longer fit , this has had a worrying side effect on my psych , im starting to think "yeah all my clothes are loose , Im doing well " I then go back and try a few more things to get a buzz from it

Im going to give away/ ebay all my size 16 stuff today , they dont fit me anymore and if I keep trying them on to prove to myself the diet is working then Im going to get stuck. I should be trying on the size 14 stuff that is still a bit small to remind myself there is still work to do

I doubt there is anything size 12 in there as I havnt been a 12 for over 15 years at a guess, so might have to buy something

does that make sense ?

I also dont want to have the option of one day having those clothes there to wear again , so anything 16 or 18 is going out today

will also be a very good time filler and distraction
 
I just need to be stronger ;). I can't hide stuff in the garage as we live next to a field so get lots of field mice here in the winter so don't leave food and things outside because of that. We also get rabbits - the garden is like bl**dy Watership Down some days :)
 
Glad you found out about the heart thing and that it's nothing serious. Does your younger son have something similar do you think?

I'm doing what Moosh does at the mo and browsing clothes on Ebay so see what I might be wearing when I'm a stone lighter :)
 
My younger son was born with 2 holes in his heart , which thankfully closed over 2 years
whilst monitoring this they found he has a bicuspid aortic valve with stenosis and regurgitation

some stenosis in another heart valve too , he is monitored at leicester children heart hospital and may need heart valve replacement one day , we just keep our fingers crossed

He also has pectus excavatum which may require some pretty hideous surgery in his teens

We are lucky to have him, he was very sick in his first week due to meconium in his lungs putting pressure on his heart , long story but they almost performed open heart surgery on him at one day old until i pointed out i had an emergency csection becasue of the meconium , they hadnt thought to scan his lungs and were ready to open him up , bloody idiots !!

we then discovered he had a cystic fibrosis gene so whole family had to have genetic counselling for that ! long story but they couldnt find a second mutation but wont say for sure he doesnt have cf

despite all this hes a very normal healthy little boy and you wouldnt know he has any problems

I found some research in America that said one third of first line relatives of people with bicuspid aortic valve were found to have enlarged aortas , most people never know they have this and it can lead to sudden death in seemingly healthy people , you hear about joggers and footballers dropping down dead right ? Well I really pushed for the heart scan when these palpitations started , I wanted to be sure my aorta was normal , thankfully my whole heart is

I do carry the cf gene though and my other son is yet to take the test , he clearly doesnt have cf but could pass the gene and maybe the disease to any children he has , its a horrible disease , life expectancy is 40 , so you can imagine the stress we went through, when my youngest was little.

Im thankful for every day with him , something I took for granted with my first son .
 
Oh, I can see why you really needed the heart tests now. Glad your little boy is happy and healthy now and to be honest we should all live for the moment as none of us ever know what's round the corner, and it's really good news that he is healthy and happy and not having to live with any problems at the moment, especially when he's so young.

Wouldn't you know if he actually does have CF? Most of the cases I've heard of take some considerable maintenance by parents to clear lungs etc. Hopefully he doesn't. A friend of mine had to have a gene test when her dad remarried and had a son with CF. Luckily her family was complete by then but obviously it has implications for anyone carrying the gene. Be positive though - there's a 50% chance that your older boy doesn't have it.
 
Its a bit complicated but basically when they do the babys heel prick test it can detect a raised level of a certain chemical
he then had further blood tests and they found one mutation which is the most common mutation for cf and means he is a carrier , as am I
they then do further DNA testing to see if there is a second mutation which indicates he has the disease but becasue of time and funding they only check for the 27 most common second mutations
and he didnt have any of these
However there are thousands of other second mutations which combined with the first mutation can cause cf to a more or lesser degree
this is how it was explained to me by the cf counsellor
Due to continuous chest infections over 2 winters , he was sent for a sweat test which is another cf test and this came back within normal limits

its a bit of a weird situation but they will never say that he 100% absolutely does not have cf, maybe a guideline they have to follow , depending on what forum you read some people believe their children are effected by the single gene mutation, in some way or another but to be honest I never think about it becasue not only is is heart and rib conditions enough to worry about I have seen children with cf and I thank my lucky stars we are not in their position

so cf can be like autism , on a spectrum of severity , but I understand what you are saying , when your child has it in its severest form then you definitely know about it
 
Ah, I suppose it's only the most severe cases that we see in the media etc. and that's my only experience of it. Glad he's not one of those though, as you say you have enough to worry about xx
 
Phoenix, that's brilliant that the 16s are now too big. You are doing so well. Gosh, what a worrying time for you with the possibility of your son having cf, I am glad that he is now a healthy little boy.

I think I may join you in your shakes only quest. I really do need a kick up the **** as I too am a bit of a nightmare when it comes to resisting bars. The previous VLCD I used only had the option for bars to use as a snack rather than a meal replacement, so I didn't have them every day. However, I find on S & S that I am taking one every day and the temptation not to have another is becoming more difficult (they are pretty tasty). Maybe it is time to re-assess and see if I really have cracked my bad habits for good.

Will be really interested to hear how you get on in your weigh in. I also made up my mind this morning that I will not go near the scales till next Sunday morning!

The serial weighing is playing havoc with my sticking to plan!
 
That's brilliant. It's always lovely to go a dress size down. It's sometimes more thrilling than seeing the pounds go down (sometimes!)
 
Frannie , sounds like a plan , Im interested to know how you get on , with both challenges

Im excited to get on the scales on wednesday , its going quite well so there better be a loss

the shakes only thing isnt going quite so well , especially over the weekend , but I have stuck to plan , 4 packs yesterday and 3 today

Ketosis has kicked in I think , Id really like to keep this going but , well , I can only try my best

Thanks Angel cake , I get a bigger kick out of wearing smaller clothes than seeing what the scales say , lets be honest , and sometimes one happens without the other , it can work either way
 
So yesterday , I think ketosis is definitely in full swing now , I didnt feel hungry at all and in fact I kept meaning to have a pack and then realised a couple of hours had passed and I hadnt

so i didnt have anything until after 9pm when I had
spag bol , porridge and a shake

still on plan and didnt even think about the scales when I got up this morning

one more day of resisting the scales and fingers crossed for Wednesday
 
aargghh almost stuck to 4 packs today

then had a can of tuna of all things , I suppose it could have been worse :(

will try to have 3 packs tomoro , weigh in is way to close to mess up now
 
I can't see how having a can of tuna v a pack can make any sort of difference to your weight loss?! Ur doing great pheonix don't beat yourself up x
 
Thanks I had it on top of my 4 packs , so it was extra
but at least it was protein :)

im liking not weighing myself so much that I really dont want to get on the scales tomoro , partly becasue Im tired of being ruled by the numbers on them and partly because im dreading the possibility that i may have worked so hard this week and may not see a loss

shall I stay off them a bit longer ? Hmmmm??
 
phoenix2010 said:
Morning Cupcake Im tempted to stay off until the end of my Easter challenge 7th April Eeeek!!

Ooh that would be good...hard though but good to see a bigger loss xo

Sent by Mrs Cupcake to be <3
 
Really really struggling today
Im in ketosis and dont feel hungry as such and its weigh day tomoro so if anything my resolve should be strong
but im just craving chewing something , I want chocolate really badly , must be due on AGAIN FGS half my life is a period theses days :mad:

keep popping carb free sweets into my gob , but i just crunch down instead of sucking and its gone in 2 minutes then im thinking about the next one

ive had a tin of tuna and a bar today already , not like me , which means Ive only got 2 left , but I know im going to have 3

I feel so pi**ed off too and I dont know why , i know Im anxious becasue my son is on army selection ad im frustrated becasue i want to know how its going but cant call him obviously ,

today feels like one of those never ending days that I feel like Im not going to get through without majorly cocking it up for myself , hence why im on her talking absolute BS:D

need to go and do something, as far away from the kitchen as possible:wave_cry:
 
Hope the rest of the day was ok Phoenix and that your son did well in his selection. Good luck tomorrow if you do weigh in, and all power to you tomorrow if you don't. Don't blow it tho - you've done great this week, and whatever you do don't weigh in if you've kicked yourself out of ketosis as it will just demotivate you.
 
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