DEAR FRIEND,
remember when your big, strong, manly Father started getting bad heartburn from having too much of the good life? remember when you werent worried and thought he was just a drama queen?such a rock, such a tower, so pig stubborn that you NEVER worried about him but yet your poor tired hard working Mam would always have you worried? remember when that 'heartburn' turned out to be cancer and the supposed drama queen had to start chemo? remember how skinny he got?how small and weak he got? remember when he resorted back to a baby like status?remember when he found out he had a year left to live? remember when he found out he went off in his van for a few hours to see the countryside and then watched a few hurling matches? and then that was it he was ready to become sicker and die?remember not understanding why he didnt fight?remember how fast it took to end?how quick, how sudden it all was over?and remember that all the time he was happy and never showed that he was scared?that he just wanted to die at home with us and not in a hospital, i understand it now Gem, he had LIVED!!! thats why he was ready to die, everyday he was his own Boss, he did as he liked and was always confident and self assured, yes as a child you thought he was selfish but it just he knew how to make himself happy and he LET himself be happy. what panic would you be in if you were told right now at best you have twelve months??? oh my word the panic that would drown you and choke you and beat you, you trying to fit your whole past near 28years into a mere twelve months!how could you do it when you cant even walk to the shop a TWO MINUTE WALK without dreading it and being in a physcial and mental torture, your fat short overstuffed lumpy sausage legs rubbing together chaffing, your fat rolls sweating and getting a rash, trying to cover your double chin in a scarf, rubbing the top of your tummy so strangers would think you were pregnant not fat!!! not stopping to speak to anyone so you can pretend your invisible and no one will notice that you are SUPERLY MORBIDLY OBESE!what a joke!!!pull the plug now and do yourself a favour if your are gonna continue to disrespect life and living!!!what are they going to say at your funeral? your poor amazing son standing at the top of the Church and all he can say about his Mam is that she kept herself indoors, refused to droff off or collect him from school so people wouldnt see her, wouldnt go swimming or to support him in matches, wouldnt even go to Mass with him because of the shame of her size, so instead she ate all day and most of the night, he could talk about what food i liked to gopple down, what fizzy drink helped me medicate myself, how i celebrated, cried and lived food! but not once could he talk about the great family days together or the loving friends i had left behind or my engagement, wedding and other babies i had, the crazy nights out, or the sun holidays i adored, how confident i was, how out going or how happy i was within myself and when meeting other people,
THIS IS A ONE TIME ONLY OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE ! ! ! love gem xxx
