please someone help me!
- Thread starter cherrygem
- Start date
LetMeFadeAway
Full Member
How are you getting on cherry
cherrygem
Silver Member
YEAH ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY I NEED TO DO IT FOR MYSELF IN ORDER FOR IT TO BE A SUCCESS BUT TO BE HONEST I DONT BELIEVE I DESERVE TO BE SLIM, AND YES I AM HURTING OTHERS BY BEING FAT, I CANT BE THE MOTHER I SHOULD BE OR THE DAUGHTER/GIRLFRIEND/FRIEND ETC JUST THIS WEEKEND MY MAM GOT UPSET BECAUSE I WENT OUT WITH MY SON AND BF WEARING MY USUAL MEN'S BLACK PJ BOTTOMS AND MY MAM SAID DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WOULDNT LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT MY HAIR NAILS MAKE UP AND TIGHT WOMANLY CLOTHES, I USE TO BE SUCH A GIRLY GIRLY :cry:
BLACKORCHID
Member
Cherrygem you sound so low and this is v.sad to hear I have been where you are and I am taking one day at a time I know it sounds corny but
it is true just get through 1 day at a time and I agree with the other ladies here you can succeed
it is true just get through 1 day at a time and I agree with the other ladies here you can succeed
Teapot
Gold Member
Cherry
Tough talk ahead I'm afraid. You've been on this forum for several months now, and probably could have lost 3 stone or more by now. I hate to tell you, but whether you're 19st, 11st or somewhere in the middle life still happens. S*** still happens. Staying fat as a security blanket is an illusion and just makes your life more difficult. The biggest difference in losing your security blanket is that your confidence and self esteem will grow and that has the most amazing side effect for dealing with life.
As your weight drops and your confidence grows, you feel more in control of being able to solve problems life is throwing at you. Stop hiding, start taking control. Only you will know if this is the right time to start LT and stick with it. It's no easy thing doing LT, but it gives you the time to sort out your head, which I think is the most important thing you can do to prepare for the rest of your life. You may start off just concentrating on the weight loss. The further you move along your journey the more you need to start thinking about how and why you got to your current weight and deal with the issues in your own head so you can prepare NOT TO FAIL. No one sits there and puts food into your mouth, only you do and for me that was a tough thing to face up to. I had spent so many years making excuses to myself.
The hardest part of embarking on your journey is taking responsibility for where you are now, and choosing to stop torturing yourself further. Start thinking about the confident, healthier happier you. Only you can take control of your weight and make a difference for yourself. No one wants to fail, but unless you make this a big focus and take control, you're going to carry on being unhappy. You are very capable of getting on with this, just choose and commit to doing it.
Very best wishes
Kay x x x
Tough talk ahead I'm afraid. You've been on this forum for several months now, and probably could have lost 3 stone or more by now. I hate to tell you, but whether you're 19st, 11st or somewhere in the middle life still happens. S*** still happens. Staying fat as a security blanket is an illusion and just makes your life more difficult. The biggest difference in losing your security blanket is that your confidence and self esteem will grow and that has the most amazing side effect for dealing with life.
As your weight drops and your confidence grows, you feel more in control of being able to solve problems life is throwing at you. Stop hiding, start taking control. Only you will know if this is the right time to start LT and stick with it. It's no easy thing doing LT, but it gives you the time to sort out your head, which I think is the most important thing you can do to prepare for the rest of your life. You may start off just concentrating on the weight loss. The further you move along your journey the more you need to start thinking about how and why you got to your current weight and deal with the issues in your own head so you can prepare NOT TO FAIL. No one sits there and puts food into your mouth, only you do and for me that was a tough thing to face up to. I had spent so many years making excuses to myself.
The hardest part of embarking on your journey is taking responsibility for where you are now, and choosing to stop torturing yourself further. Start thinking about the confident, healthier happier you. Only you can take control of your weight and make a difference for yourself. No one wants to fail, but unless you make this a big focus and take control, you're going to carry on being unhappy. You are very capable of getting on with this, just choose and commit to doing it.
Very best wishes
Kay x x x
Cherry - it sounds like you've got quite low self esteem and it doesn't really sound like the people around you are helping. 
Just because you're fat (yes I used the F word) doesn't mean you're worthless or less of a person!!!
Why don't you deserve what you want? What makes you less worthy than me or anyone else on here?
You ARE worthy to be what you want!
Just because you're fat (yes I used the F word) doesn't mean you're worthless or less of a person!!!
Why don't you deserve what you want? What makes you less worthy than me or anyone else on here?
You ARE worthy to be what you want!
Hi Cherry, this sounds soooo much like me. I self sabotage all the time because i dont feel like i deserve to be thin. I dont even enjoy stuffing down crisps and chocolate but i still do it then im devestated! I think sometimes we actually worry if we do reach our goal and become slim then what next? Everyone likes reaching for their goals because it keeps them occupied and we wont have to worry about other things in our life that might not be so great. I managed 5 weeks on Lipotrim which is amazing for me. I went to a wedding last week and practically ate the whole buffet and my stomach felt like a bag of stones for three days afterwards but i snapped out of it and got back on it! I've got four weeks left until my 30th and im going to do this with help from this site I know you can do this. You've just got to love yourself and be kind to yourself. Try and create a positve relationship with your self and instead of telling yourself "I can't eat anything" "I'm not allowed to have chocolate/ chips etc" Tell yourself "I can eat whatever i want but i am choosing to have Lipotrim because i care about my body and i love being healthy" I promise after two weeks you will be so proud and you will keep choosing to be healthy. Dont give up and keep posting. I will be your diet buddy if that will help
I think sometimes we actually worry if we do reach our goal and become slim then what next? Everyone likes reaching for their goals because it keeps them occupied and we wont have to worry about other things in our life that might not be so great. I managed 5 weeks on Lipotrim which is amazing for me. I went to a wedding last week and practically ate the whole buffet and my stomach felt like a bag of stones for three days afterwards but i snapped out of it and got back on it! I've got four weeks left until my 30th and im going to do this with help from this site I know you can do this. You've just got to love yourself and be kind to yourself. Try and create a positve relationship with your self and instead of telling yourself "I can't eat anything" "I'm not allowed to have chocolate/ chips etc" Tell yourself "I can eat whatever i want but i am choosing to have Lipotrim because i care about my body and i love being healthy" I promise after two weeks you will be so proud and you will keep choosing to be healthy. Dont give up and keep posting. I will be your diet buddy if that will help
Teapot
Gold Member
Hi Titcher
Very well said and very well done for getting back to LT after the wedding. You're right about having to learn to love yourself. Sometimes you just have to lose some weight in order to be able to do that. My reasons for losing weight have changed through the last 24 weeks. I started LT in desperation and on the edge of depression as I didn't want to go out and buy size 26 trousers. I also decided I didn't want to keep crying on my lovely OH's shoulder about how frustrated I was with my weight (who loves me whatever size I am, strangely) Now it's about being healthy. For a few months now I've not had any knee and foot pain which was occasionally crippling. I've not had any back ache and there is loads of other positive side effects of losing weight including a much more positive outlook on life. Being overweight physically I believe, can also be a heavy weight on your mind.
Very best wishes for your continued journey, let us know how you're getting on
Kay x x x
Very well said and very well done for getting back to LT after the wedding. You're right about having to learn to love yourself. Sometimes you just have to lose some weight in order to be able to do that. My reasons for losing weight have changed through the last 24 weeks. I started LT in desperation and on the edge of depression as I didn't want to go out and buy size 26 trousers. I also decided I didn't want to keep crying on my lovely OH's shoulder about how frustrated I was with my weight (who loves me whatever size I am, strangely
) Now it's about being healthy. For a few months now I've not had any knee and foot pain which was occasionally crippling. I've not had any back ache and there is loads of other positive side effects of losing weight including a much more positive outlook on life. Being overweight physically I believe, can also be a heavy weight on your mind. Very best wishes for your continued journey, let us know how you're getting on
Kay x x x
cherrygem
Silver Member
first of all i want to say THANK YOU EVERYONE for taking time from your lives to write to me, it has touched me deep down. i still find it strange how strangers can be nicer to me than my loved ones or me. yes deep down i know i am in control of whether i am a success or not but its fear that stops me trying to achieve my goals. fear of having to deal with the reality of the massive mistakes i made of my life, not wanting to face how much i have disrespected myself and let other people disrespect me. i am afraid to have standards because im afraid of being alone and being fully responsible for myself and the decisions i make. i am terrified of putting so much effort into making my dreams happen only for them to be destroyed by my poor judgement but yes i think you are right i should take baby steps of losing some weight and when i get a boost of confidence from that i may be able to handle problems in other areas in my life. thanks everyone xxxxx:bighug:
Teapot
Gold Member
Hey Cherry,
Glad to see you about!! I don't know about you, but the sometimes the hardest thing to do is make the decision. Once the decision is made it's so much easier to move forward. I have come to several of these 'break points' in my life and it's never easy. The major 2 prior to losing weight this time were deciding to leave Africa and come back to England and uprooting my whole family and the second one was to leave my husband after years of being unhappy. I also didn't want to be on my own so stuck it out for much longer than I should have. I wouldn't have met my lovely current OH if I hadn't taken that step and we've been together 5 years now.
I hope the excerpt below helps you. Think of yourself as a country for this one! It's taken from
So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory.
Glad to see you about!! I don't know about you, but the sometimes the hardest thing to do is make the decision. Once the decision is made it's so much easier to move forward. I have come to several of these 'break points' in my life and it's never easy. The major 2 prior to losing weight this time were deciding to leave Africa and come back to England and uprooting my whole family and the second one was to leave my husband after years of being unhappy. I also didn't want to be on my own so stuck it out for much longer than I should have. I wouldn't have met my lovely current OH if I hadn't taken that step and we've been together 5 years now.
I hope the excerpt below helps you. Think of yourself as a country for this one! It's taken from
“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: FDR’s First Inaugural Address
So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory.
Natalia Mascoll
Full Member
Hi cherrygem your not alone i also am re-starting and i feel i have no real motivation i constantly think about food even though ive booked a holiday of a life time for july and still have 5st to loose. However i believe with short weekly goals its do-able. Just keep imagining what your gonna look like when u reach ur goal u will b so beautiful and to show that ex of urs what he is missing good luck babe x
good luck babe x
