Raquel's daily diary.......my new life starts here!

How very selfish of you not be checking people's diaries while you are having a brilliant holiday - NOT!!

Seriously, really good to hear from you, glad you are working out a plan and most importantly of all, enjoying life with all its ups and downs. x
 
Hey everyone

Checking in from austria at the moment. Since I was here last we drove through spain, drove through bavarian towns in germany,went to oktoberfest in germany, and are now in a caravan park in austria.

I have been keeping a food diary while away. Choices have been pretty good, though have drank more than usual, Oktoberfest and all and put on a few pounds.

Not too bothered and know that I am now ready to get to goal, my mind feels so much more settled than its ever been, thanks to my cdc, talking to her and sorting out my self esteem issues has been the biggest blessing.

I still have a while to go, but I feel now that I am not in that obsession mode, and certainly not in binge mode! So proud to say that I have not binged in aaaagggeeesss, prob since I last wrote about in this diary.,....

So I have shakes with me on the trip, decided I will take a different approach and SS for the next 3 weeks staring this weekend, then take it from there. I should be back in London by the time I run out, so I will discuss with my cdc....I feel so different now and not pressured to get to goal, but know I want to do it for me.

Raquel xoxox
 
All just brilliant Raquel!! Well done, congratulations and everything else......fab trip you are having, really pleased for you. xx
 
Big hugs Raquel, have missed you hon, and fab to hear that everything is going so well! Yay!!!!

xxx
 
Wow how cool to be in Austria, have never been there, but would love to see it, my daughter and mum have been and say it is gorgeous there. Really glad to hear from you, hope everything goes okay until you are back again, take care of yourself xx
 
Hey everyone

Thought I better check in.....the 3 months break did not do me so well....I have put on, but have not weighed and will not weigh until I have at least done a few weeks of 810.

so I'm beginning today, so far so good, hoping it stays that way :eek:)

Tried to start while on holiday and was feeling too lethargic and crappy. So beginning now, no more excuses hey.

I head home back to Aus for good at the end of Oct, there is a program similar to CD at home, so I will go straight on that when home and continue this journey.

Anyways....hoping the next 6 weeks on CD will get me where I want to be.

Trying to find some short term work atm.....going to a few teaching supply agencies tomorrow so fingers crossed they can get me started.

Read everyones diaries, but no time to post right now.....

Will check in this evening, have a great afternoon everyone.
 
Hey Racquel,

lovely to hear from you! Hope the travels went really well and you are looking forward to going back home soon!

Good luck with getting back to 810, you'll be back to where you want to be in no time

Hope the job hunting goes well too

Have a fab day

xx
 
Hi Racquel, welcome back. Your trip sounded fantastic! There must be something like CD in OZ? Is there anyone on here from there? How long have you been over here?
 
Great to see you back hun, we missed you! Sounds like you've had a great time and done really well!

xxx
 
Well I still soooo havent gotten back on track and I am so angry with myself.....I never found CD that hard to begin with, I see why people have trouble restarting.

I still feel ok emotionally, have not sunk into my usual depression and self pity....BUT....I do know and feel bigger than what I was, I can tell with how I look in the mirror and in the way my clothes feel - def. tighter! My cdc would be glad though that I have not weighed....someone in the house (i live in a basement flat) has taken my scales from our shared bathroom while we were in europe....grrr.

Anyway....enough is enough....I dont know why I could not get enough motivation from all you on here, you are all amazing and strong.

Tomorrow is my day to begin again!

810.......water water water!

I hope I can do this....I NEED to do this!
 
Sending a hug Raquel, it is hard and I have struggled too, am struggling still. But I won't let my own self-destruct impulses beat me, and nor will you... you can do this. Wishing you and fab and successful day.

xxx
 
Ditto from me Racquel, you know this stuff, you can do it!!

Good luck for a fab day

xx
 
Welcome back Raquel.... I found going back on 810 hard, so changed it to 1000 which I found easier... good luck with finding work and getting the excess weight shifted...
 
Hey everyone,

I am in self destruct mode big time and after reading some of your diaries i can see some similarities in my behaviour with others.

Right now I am teling myself....ok enough is enough,m will 'be good' will start tomorrow, then I think right well I am already a porky so I may as well go and eat all the cr%^ I want to ....so I feel satisfied when I start the next day.....then I make it through to 4 in the arvo....and ruin all my hard work by binging again....then the cycle continues. I swear the last week, having this mentality I am sure I have put on the 10lbs!!!

Not sure my weight, no scales, but as I mentioned can feel in clothes.

I am nannying for the half term, full time live in.....so I figured I would take my shakes and 810 while away....I know we wont be leaving the house (apparently there is plenty to do on the grounds indoor and out) so I thought this would be a good opp. to begin.,

Laura, the reason I chose to do 810 as I feel I need to be strict otherwise I completely take the pi*& and just binge whenever with no control. I am one of those people that has to have an all or nothing approach, until my mind gets in the right place. Right now it is so not in the right place.,

Would love any advice right now....I'm feeling really stuck and really want to get through a day without hiccups.
 
hi racquel, feel for you hun, i know this feeling is hard to overcome but it can be done, why not try a slower step down day by day approach, 1 day 1500,1 day 1200 1 or 2 days 1000 and then back to 810, slowly reducing the carbs and calming the urges/cravings a little on the way...just an idea (pinched from the returners thread) may help with the all or nothing scenario possibly?

xx
 
Wish I knew what to say Raquel, but know just where you are coming from. Can you remind yourself of why you are doing this and promise yourself three good 810 days? If you manage that, you will be fine... it's just about getting back into the zone. Big hugs.

xxx
 
thanks girls.

Prob is every night I promise myself I am gonna do the right thing, stick to it, and the next day I am good to a certain point and then I 'convince' myself one more day wont hurt, when clearly it will....my clothes are getting tighter, jeans I could fit back into after doing cd are getting tight again, its like i am going backwards instead of forwards.

I will be checking in I think and updating this throughout the day to keep on track, I think its the only way. The cravings are unbearable at the moment, and I dont have the willpower to ignore them...i used to be so much stronger. dunno whats happened.
 
Ah, you are strong honey... you just can't see it right now. On some level, you're choosing to eat these things, and maybe there is a bit of self-sabotage in that? There is for me. And a sense that I have 'been good' for so long, so why shouldn't I eat whatever I want now? For me, the guilt and shame spoils the pleasure anyway, but still, I make bad choices. Often. But I am not going to give up the battle, and I believe I will win.

I aim to be like KD one day, a long-time maintainer who has changed her life for the better, not just her weight. We can do this, I really think we can.

xxx
 
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