I start LL in January so will have to stop drinking then.
However, I did stop drinking for over 5 years (some 9 years ago) because it was a serious (very dark place) problem. It controlled me and dictated when I could be what I thought was me. No confidence in myself when sober (body image was dominant influencing undermining issue) - only when drunk, could I 'lose' that part of me that was holiding me back.
Got fed up with that feeling and stopped and do you know what - when at parties and sober, I looked around and saw others being like the 'me' that I was. They were behaving daft and when sober - you saw all those others looking at them thinking 'what are they like?'. If others had an issue with me and my size, it didn't go awat when I was drunk, I just didn't feel it - indeed, when sober you see that when you are gravitationally challenged and making an arse of yourself, people notice a hell of a lot more.
The thing is, I never saw people looking at me that way when I was drunk and supposedly having fun. Ignorance seemed like bliss.
Once I realised that as many, if not more, people were having fun sober - I was able to chill and do the same.
Not saying this applies to you, but alcohol does stop the real you developing and after all, we are on life changing (we hope) journeys - and finding the real US, is key to that - I found sod all when hammered, lost quite a lot though, including memories that I would have preferred to remember.
Sorry, didn't mean to lecture, I just get sad how we are all having to fight to get to a 'good' place with ourselves - in a nutshell, there is much more to be gained (and kept/that is enduring) in a sober, in control of oneself world, than in a temporary, alcohol induced, out of control world.
Take care and have courage