shelleyzeus
Full Member
Really enoyed with myself this weekend, 1st i went out on friday nite and had loads of vodka and full fat lemonade and had burger and chips after it and then saturday i had a turkey carvery and that nite i had chicken fried rice with chips and to BIG glasses of vodka:sigh:
Then today i had a large quarter pounder with cheese meal with choc milkshake and a large bag of m&ms and 35cl of vodka with diet lemonade.
just toltaly slipt up and feel really discusted with myself.
I hate been fat and been so uncomfatable but my eating is out of controle, and so is my beer.
Ive had such a hard 4yr and all ive done is pound weight on throught drinking and late night eating and i hate myself about it.
I feel such a failier, i reaaly want to be thin or at least healthy again as my dad had a masive heart attack at 38yrs old and nearly died so i know i need to be fit to beat heart failier.
At the moment theres talk about a heart transplant for him but he might not be able to have it due to hes diabeties and animia and unsteadiness so i might loose him.
Ive just watched my grandad die of throat cancer which he beat 3 times but in the end he lost hes fight and my mum left my dad 3 yr ago and ive never come to terms with it.
Just hope i wake up tmoz with alot of willpower and go for it again for my 2 children aged 6 and 5 month...
Then today i had a large quarter pounder with cheese meal with choc milkshake and a large bag of m&ms and 35cl of vodka with diet lemonade.
just toltaly slipt up and feel really discusted with myself.
I hate been fat and been so uncomfatable but my eating is out of controle, and so is my beer.
Ive had such a hard 4yr and all ive done is pound weight on throught drinking and late night eating and i hate myself about it.
I feel such a failier, i reaaly want to be thin or at least healthy again as my dad had a masive heart attack at 38yrs old and nearly died so i know i need to be fit to beat heart failier.
At the moment theres talk about a heart transplant for him but he might not be able to have it due to hes diabeties and animia and unsteadiness so i might loose him.
Ive just watched my grandad die of throat cancer which he beat 3 times but in the end he lost hes fight and my mum left my dad 3 yr ago and ive never come to terms with it.
Just hope i wake up tmoz with alot of willpower and go for it again for my 2 children aged 6 and 5 month...