Total Solution Restart 29/03/2015 Exante journey to 9st3 for life!

True kira. I think I needed it. Actually all I ate the whole weekend was what I had last night, a skald piece of fish Saturday, some pitta bread and hummus, and olives. The rest was alcohol. I'll definitely need to get back to VLCD ing. No more nights out for 2 weeks when I have another birthday.
 
Also I transferred tough mudder place to end of May 2015. And also was thinking to do a half marathon at the end of march
 
Hi hun! Hope ur feeling well this morning! Xx

We all have ups and downs .. But the main thing is to gain the control back and get back on track to avoid undoing all the hard work we have put in already!

Like you said it's a couple of more weeks to go.. You can do it!!

Best thing to do is draw a line under the weekend gone and get back on track ..

I'm also back on 100% today we can do it together x

Have a good day hun
 
Hi hun! Hope ur feeling well this morning! Xx We all have ups and downs .. But the main thing is to gain the control back and get back on track to avoid undoing all the hard work we have put in already! Like you said it's a couple of more weeks to go.. You can do it!! Best thing to do is draw a line under the weekend gone and get back on track .. I'm also back on 100% today we can do it together x Have a good day hun

Thanks :)

So glad I hve you lovely people.

Ok back on track from today it is.

And I will go for a run later. As I have enough carbs in me
 
Just tried the skinny pasta. It's alright. Mixed it with a pack of spag Bol. Takes a very long time to chew it!!!! Need to force myself to drink lots of water today.

Weigh day is tomorrow but part of me thinks I shouldn't weigh myself this week and should wait and do it when I'm back in the zone the following Tuesday. Decisions.
 
Right so today I've eaten so much. I won't even list it. Certainly classed a binge. I just wanted the food. I'll start again tomorrow. And won't weigh until next week.
 
I think you binged because of the alochol. I fin that I've have drank a lot and I hungover it can take two days to recover and two with food/carbs to recover. I did read though flyer a lot of alochol it best to eat healthy nutrious and not overload on carbs alone. Mind you if it makes me feel better after too much wine I'll go with the carbs!

Have a good day nd fresh start tomorrow Lara you'll get back into it as you over come the post night out little binge:)
 
Yep definitely because of the alcohol - I am always ravenous after a night on it that I will eat loads the next day. I see it as my body coping and trying to absorb the alcohol to get rid of it.

Dont worry Lara - new day tomorrow! You've done so well so far and will continue to do so xx
 
Wow you sound like you've had a busy few days, I think it can be very difficult to do a VLCD when your busy/ socialising with people. The main thing is you keep getting back into it and carry on and you'll get there. I know how you feel about your weigh in, I was dreading mine this morning but I took the plunge, I knew it would be bad and I got it over with. And again having days when you feel like your almost binging, I'm sure we've all been there, I think for me it's control that's the key, I need to feel like I'm in control of my diet and making the best choices, sometimes I lose control and tend to binge.
id definately say next time they call you about counselling go regardless of your weight, it does help, they help you see the problems and think of solutions to overcome them, I liked mine I just wasn't in the right place when had mine, I wish I could have had it next year instead.
your doing really well Lara. X
 
Hi Lara hun, hope you are alright and having a good day today x
 
I've done awfully. Full on bingeing. I've come to bed after eating for hours. I'm so ashamed as I can hear my dad downstairs and he's angry that all of his "nature valley" oat bars have been eaten as he likes to take them to golf. I'm so ashamed. They don't know I binge eat. But my mum probably does. I can't explain how much I've eaten in the space of 3 hours. It's scary. I'm
Sorry to have all this negativity on here.

You're right in it being the alcohol. Also my two friends were annoyed at me for getting so awfully drunk yet again. They blamed me not eating. I hate that my previous eating disorder gets thrown in my face. The issue isn't the eating. It's that I can't control how much I drink.

I feel awful.

And I'm so ashamed. Ashamed enough that I don't want to eat food from this house again.
 
Lara sweetie please be kind to yourself. (((hugs))) This is what I think (and remember we've discussed on here on our other threads for going on two maybe 3 years on and off?)

I think you got so drunk not necessarily because you can't control your drink but more likely because you'd been in ketosis previously and even if you had carbs prior to drinking it doesn't hey you body out of ketosis that quickly. Possibly it could be a combination of both.

You needed to eat after the alcohol because of the affect it had on you and also to recover from effectively alcohol poisoning. However, you didn't want to eat food because you wanted to stick to plan and couldn't because you felt unwell from the alcohol so it triggered binge on your retun from your night out. As you hadn't fully recovered from the drinking it triggered a further binge and your back into the binge cycle.

you need to break this and go for the counselling. Again, I k ow it's not what you want to hear and I am. Of trying to throw your past eating disorder at you and I am sure your friends aren't either. This issue is a current issue - I'm not denying many of us probably have eating disorders of some description otherwise we wouldn't be attempting vlcdi or diets of any kind time after time.

Speak to your friends if you don't want to go straight to counselling but I think the fact you have the chance to have counselling it is something you should take up. Xx
 
It sounds like you are feeling very angry at yourself right now, and are in a spiral of self sabotage. Can you think of something that will lift you out of this? What has worked before? Xxx hugs xx
 
I will go to counselling when they next call me to book.

Thing is, with drinking I've done that so many times regardless of whether it's a period where I've eaten or not. I'm not doubting that it is why my body was such a mess and rebelled, but I'm just also aware that as well as all or nothing eating, I am all or nothing with drinking. If anything those very friends encourage me to come on nights out drinking so it makes no sense that everything is always blamed on an eating disorder. Obviously you know what I've been eating, but they don't.

I still really really want to get my weight down. My bmi is still over 25. Obviously this past few days have shown I still hve a major problem when food is introduced. To me this makes me want to VLCD more, whilst I address the food issues. I know they'll never agree to that in counselling.

I've woken up feeling sick at night. I'm so embarrassed to see my parents in the morning. Hopefully I can leave quickly!!! I am ready to go back to packs as I hate this full feeling. Bingeing is only fun for about an hour.

Another friend has a birthday the weekend after this. I'll take it easy on the drinking. Then it's Xmas party season, how on earth I'm going go get thorough that without drinking I do not know.
 
Morning lovely Lara. I honestly "do" understand what you're saying because elements of what you are experiencing echo mind - the vlcd frees you, enables you to regain control over bingeing or simply over eating a little more than we should. Similar with drinking, I am much better at have nothing than just one glass o wine for example. It's from what I can see for us both an addictive personality?

in terms of counselling Nd a counsellor in not, I have that same feeling as you, the counselling will be good but they wouldn't get need to do a vlcd initially to regain control although I admit I do.
sigh! I agree with a BMI over 25 it is overweight for you as am I. It's also for our heght and frame the high end.

you have to do what is right for you and what feels right. Remember you did this successfully before although I appreciate it was a while ago. You lost weight and kept it off with your running?

do it again, think about cutting out the alcohol or only allowing yourself X amount before you switch to fizzy water? Half the time it's about having a glass in ones hand when you're out.

Have a a good day with lots of water. X
 
Morning lovely Lara. I honestly "do" understand what you're saying because elements of what you are experiencing echo mind - the vlcd frees you, enables you to regain control over bingeing or simply over eating a little more than we should. Similar with drinking, I am much better at have nothing than just one glass o wine for example. It's from what I can see for us both an addictive personality? in terms of counselling Nd a counsellor in not, I have that same feeling as you, the counselling will be good but they wouldn't get need to do a vlcd initially to regain control although I admit I do. sigh! I agree with a BMI over 25 it is overweight for you as am I. It's also for our heght and frame the high end. you have to do what is right for you and what feels right. Remember you did this successfully before although I appreciate it was a while ago. You lost weight and kept it off with your running? do it again, think about cutting out the alcohol or only allowing yourself X amount before you switch to fizzy water? Half the time it's about having a glass in ones hand when you're out. Have a a good day with lots of water. X

Yes I think we definitely share that personality trait.

I suppose I will try and get us much off with VLCD again now, and I'll do the counselling whenever they next contact me even if I'm not at goal, and hope that going to them will help me enough to not binge.

Yes I did do it before. And even a year ago I was a healthy weight and fit. I can do it. It was a few very bad days.

I feel awful this morning. I slept so badly and every time I move I feel like I'm going to be sick. I can't even stomach water. Not good. I have to get up and go. I'll have to go in late. I have to say goodbye to this binge eater. I have to. Nothing good comes from it. At all.

Ok. With drinking I will have a new strict limit. Very very very hard for me as I like to keep the party going and getting more drinks in is what I do. But I don't have to. I will try very very hard to make the right choices. I'm tired of being the drunk one that prop have to look after. It's embarrassing.

Thank you for understanding as always. And I hope I am listening and acting upon your great advice more than I used to. I don't want to tell you these same stories in a year. Xxx
 
Urghhh feel so sick. I cannot wait to get back into VLCD. This is never worth it.
 
Well I can't tell you how much it took for me to get up, get showered and get out!! Did a fast walk to the station and felt food repeating on me. Yuck. Haven't been able to drink water. Will try when stomach is a bit more settled. I am so boiling hot. I think it's from all the food rather than a temperature. Left the house with soaking wet hair but still hot!!

Wearing a dress which feels way snugger than it should. I am feeling awful. But at the same time I'm hoping that this will give me another final push to make the changes I really want to make. And make them long term.

I am looking forward to having packs later on. Maybe some skinny pasta too if I can stomach it. Everything tastes different after I've been shoving sugar and carbs in my mouth. I didn't even enjoy my tea yesterday and usually I do.

I wolfed down a scary amount of food. An amount that could feed someone for a week easily.

I hid in my room last night and left this morning before I saw my parents. I'm so embarrassed that they know I ate all my dads cereal bars!!! Maybe I should replace them on the way home today. I think I will. And as I said yesterday it motivates me to just stay away from the food in the house and have my own packs. My parents are very generous they aren't like that with food but obviously my dad specifically wanted those for golf today so I get it. I don't think he realised though that I haven't touched anything in the house other than a bit if veg for almost 6 weeks until Sunday. Anyway hopefully it's forgotten as I don't want to explain how I ate them all in such a short space of time.
 
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