rosie's Diary:- the good, bad nd downright ugly!

lol at the joke - had to read it three times before i got it though!!! x
 
I like jokes that make you think! Well, my day didn't go to plan, but for me that's nothing unusual!
For a start we had a power cut in the night so my alarm didn't go off, and when I eventually woke up it was an hour later than normal. My son was still asleep and the poor dog had his legs crossed!
Then I decided that I really couldn't be ars*d to have my hair cut as that might have disturbed my stitches.
So instead I got in the spare room and pulled out the cupboard that the old water tank was in. It was easy to do as it was basically just plywood nailed onto a frame. Jack was trusted to break up all te big bits, and put them outside in the incinerator. Then I listened to the footie, while munching on prawn and seafood sauce sarnies (my fav!), we actually drew!
Then when it got dark I lit the wood Jack put out, and we had sossies and burgers cooked over it! A very rustic bbq, with whlml rolls and tom sauce. It was lovely and a great way to have a meal while getting rid of the wood.
I am going to leave you with something I heard in the supermarket the other day, there was a man in a wheelchair who must have weighed at least 30st. And in the next queue a little girl asked "why is that man so fat, mummy?"
Her mum replied "He's not fat, he's just full of cuddles"
 
lol - full of cuddles!!! heres a thought of the day for you rosie seeing as you leave us all with them - what is the average wait of a baby?! oh and how many sides does a circle have? x
 
Hmmmmm. A teaser, rainbow!! I like them! Average (wait) of a baby=9 months? Average (weight) of a baby=7.2lb?
Sides to a circle- 2! the inside and the outside!
Had a lovely Mother's Day, I got a card and a necklace from Jack, and he took me out to lunch! It was sarnies and a can of coke he bought in somerfield, that we ate while putting flowers on mums grave. It was sooooo peaceful in the graveyard, there were not really that many people about, so we sat on the bench and watched the world go by, just for half an hour.
Then home to read a bit before cooking a roast beef dinner! As I was on an EE day that included roast pots and parsnips! yummmmm!
Anyway, will leave you with a joke of the day:-
You're on a horse, galloping away at speed. On your right is a sharp drop, on your left is an elephant travelling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a kangeroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion chasing you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get your drunk ar*e off the merry-go-round and act your bl**dy age!!!!
 
correct on 9 months and inside and outside! - well done!! glad you had a nice mothers day x
 
Glad I got something right, rainbow!
(I was going to the rest in Norwich colours but decided it was too much effort!)
Yes I had a lovely M. Day thanks. Well, another 1lb gone at weigh-in tonight, Not bad as it's coming up to THAT week!
I always seem to get the symptoms the week before the actual event.
When I updated my SW online chart, I was curious and looked at when they predict I would get to my target and was amazed to see that, according to their chart, I would reach target in October!!!!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!!
That would mean losing 11st 13.5lb in 7 months! Or 23.8 lb a month, or 5.9lb EVERY WEEK!!!
I think I would have to have my jaw wired up to do that!
I do try my hardest to follow this plan, I eat 80% of speed, or super speed foods a week. I religiously have all my hex's and stick to 15syns or less a week. There is sometimes an occasional blip! Like the time I picked up a 2ltr bottle of ordinary coke instead of diet and didn't notice until it was all gone! :copon:
Anyway, the dog is telling me it's "walkies" time so must leave but not before my tip of the day:-
To get some exercise in, do your ironing downstairs, and take each item upstairs as you do it!
 
I have now started a food diary in the other bit, just so if anyone is interested it don't encroach on this diary!
I am sitting here at my laptop, headphones on, listening to David Bowie singing about Life On Mars!
Had a really boring day today as I had to wait in for a tv delivery, and of course they couldn't say if it would be here am or pm! It eventually arrived at 6:23pm so I could have gone out this morning!
Last night at sw my worst nightmare came true, a near neighbour joined who I can't stand, and she kept knocking on the door all day wanting tips! I'm too polite to tell her to b*gger off, so told her on her 8th visit to phone the cc as i'm not qualified to explain properly!
I did spend 10 mins watching my Mr Motivator fitness dvd, perhaps next time I might even join in!!!!!
Well, I told you I had a boring day!
Joke of the day(one for the kiddies!)
What's a cows favourite lesson?
Moosic!
What's a sheeps favourite meal?
Baaabeque!
 
i made this joke up myself - whats a cats favourite breakfast? miaowsly!!!
 
Oh Rainbow - I have not much to say to that! X
 
oh, rainbow!!!!!!
I don't think we'll see you on the next Britains Got Talent as a comedian! But I did laugh!!!
Oh my God I did laugh today, so much that I nearly peed myself!!!! My manager at work is a man called Lee. He has an ulcerated leg that needs operating on, but he's got to lose 30kilo before they'll do it. So he went to his dr. and he prescribed xenacol. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's a pill medicine you take 3 times a day with meals, and it stops your body absorbing 15% of the fat you eat. (Can you tell I tried this!?) BUT..... you are supposed to halve your fat intake, and only eat low fat foods, otherwise you poo for England!!!!! It's not pleasant if you eat too much fat as the pill can have an immediate effect, resulting in sitting on the loo for ages!
Poor Lee was not told to reduce his fat intake, ate too much for lunch and ended up the rest of the afternoon on the loo! It was sooooo bad he couldn't get off the loo to go to an important meeting!!
Altho' I did laugh, I felt sorry for him as well as I did the same thing once, but only the once! You soon learn!
When he finally came out of the loo I sat down in the office with him and went thro' the does and don'ts with him, bless.
Well after that cheery tale I will leave you with a ditty!:- Notice on a church notice board= Will the slimming world members please use the double doors round the side of the building!
 
Tonight i am listening to Tiger Feet by Mudd(?)
I finally had had enough today and did it! Yes, I got my hair cut. My hair was a shoulder lengh bob with a fringe, and it is now an "urchin" look, cut quite choppy with a feathered fringe. I don't like it too short as I have a fat face, and also don't want it too young a style. I can't ever see me with a blue rinse granny cut tho!
While I was in the chair I also had it dyed a lovely burgandy red, with pale pink streaks.
Jack was speechless when he saw it! I am really pleased with it, and feel it was well worth the £45 they charged. I feel like a new woman! I nearly had it dyed yellow and green (norwich colours) but fell in love with the burgandy as soon as I saw it.
I also had my eyebrows waxed, the first time ever, I have reached the age of 44 without ever having them plucked! I haven't worn make-up since i was in my early 20's. Before then I used to slap it on with a trowel, but I was a punk, and it did go with my orange mohican! Oh, the good old days!
Will leave you with a tip of the day:- What are you doing while reading this? You are sitting! Why not use this time to do a few bum clenches to get them in shape?! 3-4 times a day for just 5mins and you will have buns of steel!
 
music tonight is.......sex pistols=pretty vacant! (the old ones are the best!)
Sad news to tell you all, i'm afraid. I was told today that my fav. tramp died last week of hypothermia. I shall miss his proposals, and his cheeky smile!
We had a new girl join this week, and today was my first time working with her. She's a right know-it-all! She's never worked in a shop before, but think she know it all. Where in reality she knows nothing! She won't ask for help on the tills if she need it, so I spent 80% of my time trying to right her wrongs!
In the end I called the supervisor and told him that she needs a trainer, and that I couldn't do it as that meant there would be only 1 till working instead of 2.
So she got took off the till, and put on shelf-filling which apparently she hates, and she spent 4 hours giving me filthy looks! good job I got a thick skin.
Will leave you with a tip of the day:= DON'T FORGET THE CLOCKS GO FORWARD THIS WEEKEND!
 
hey - good tip bout bum clenching im doing it now lol! poor tramp x x
 
There was I, all ready to post my diary yesterday, when my pay-as you-go internet ran out! My darling son had used the last of the credit to download some songs and didn't bother to tell me all the credit was gone! :copon:
So sorry if you tuned in and got nothing!
My brother came round for dinner today, as he is depressed and needed company.
To be honest, I could have done without him as I had a sleepless night!
I went to bed as normal about midnight, and fell asleep quite quickly, to be woken 20mins later by my dog going nuts! He was barking and growling at the back door. I went down to see what was wrong and went out the back (armed with my son's golf club incase of burgulars!) to find a tiny deer curled up in the bottom bit of my bbq. I shone the torch over it without getting too close, and could see blood on it. I went back indoors and got a blanket, covered the poor deer up, and went in to ring the RSPCA. They took 1.5 hours to get to mine, and examined the deer. According to them it had been mauled by a dog, poor thing. They got it into a carrier, put it in their van, and drove off.
By now it was 3:45am, and I wanted to be up early to watch the Grand Prix! So I went back to bed, but instead of sleeping I clock-watched!
So I am now sooo tired I keep yawning every 2 mins, even while drinking copious amounts of cofee!
Joke of the day:- 3 blonde Essex girls were walking in the woods and they come across some tracks. First one say "These are deer tracks", second one say "No, they're badger tracks". Third one say "No, they're fox tracks".
Sadly, while they were arguing they were all killed by the train that came along the tracks!
 
I am writing this diary at least 2 hours earlier than normal, just in case I have a repeat of last night and fall asleep at 8:30pm!! Oh I feel bad! I have a tummy ache, swollen boobs, back ache and I have just had to take 3 paracetamol to get rid of the start of a migraine.
Yes, it's the dreaded lurgy!! It's been 6 weeks since my last period, and the gap in between each one is getting longer and the symptoms when they come, are more and more painful.
At 44 i'm not too young to go thro' the change and suspect I might be!!
Maybe I should go to the drs to get a check up and see whats what.
Well at weigh-in last night I lost another 1.5lb, bringing my total up to 2st 11lb in 12 weeks! I got the slimmer of the week/month awards, too.
I really don't think I would have lasted this long without going to class, and now I am in charge of the class shop, and sometimes weigh-ins, that's an extra incentive to keep going as I don't want to let my CC down!
About 12 years ago I lost 8st 7lb on SW, and got thro' to my area finals for slimmer of the year!
But once I got to my target weight I stopped going, and the weight has gone back on at an average of 1st a year.
Tip of the day:- this eating plan is not a diet, it's a life plan. Learn all the lessons it teach and you will be in control of your eating, rather than your eating being in charge of you!
 
Just a quick one - well done on your losses, both now and 12 years ago - FANTASTIC. xxx
 
Am writing in blue tonight, as that's how I feel! The more observent of my readers may have noticed that there was no entry yesterday, this is because i'm stoooooooppppiiiddddddd!!!!!!
Jack went and slept round a friend's house so I was all alone! About 7pm I decided to come on here and read all the posts, update my diaries, and then play some games!
I turned on the lap-top, didn't look properly, pressed the wrong button, and promptly locked myself out of it! Nothing I done would let me in the bl**dy thing!! So I had to wait until Jack came home from school to "open" it up again. He came in, turned it on, pressed 1 button, and there it was all ready and waiting!!!
I am going to have to bite the bullet and take a computing course so I know what i'm doing!
As it's close to Easter, I thought I would leave you with some seasonal fun!
Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing a strong preaching about the Devil.
One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad!"
 
I'ts now 10:11pm, and i'm sitting in my bedroom, listening to the cricket! England are not doing too bad, at the minute, if we are lucky we might even win the match and the 1 day series!!
I was at work all day today, and arrived home at 6:25pm, ate my tea and got a phone call off my brother asking if he could sleep over tomorrow night, as it's the 2nd anniversary of his wife leaving him and he's feeling low.
Of course I said yes, then immediately raced upstairs to look at the state of the spare room. Well it is full of junk! Even the bed is covered. So I then spent the next 1.5 hours tidying up and making up the bed, ready. Then half way thro' hoovering the bloody hoover decided to break!!
It turned itself onto blow, and the muck came flying out like water out of a tap!
It went everywhere, even the poor dog got covered, not to mention the lovely newly-made bed, the curtains, the light shade, the wardrobe, chest of drawers and the couple of hundred books! I sent Jack round the neighbours to borrow their's, and it took me another 30 mins to get the room ready again!Well, here's another joke for you:-
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied "They couldn't get a baby-sitter, Miss!"
 
Saturday today and I have not gone out the house!
This morning I got really brave and actually went on my new exercise bike and cycled 3.5 miles! Ow, it hurts tho', all down the inside of my thighs. I will try to do a minimum of 1 mile a day, tho' I shall make sure Jack is well out of the way as he nearly weed himself laughing!
He said my bum was wobbling like a jelly on a plate, but I was heroic and just thought of the trim bum and thighs I am going to get at the end, and carried on!
Tip of the day:- If you are going to do exercises in your living room, make sure you shut your curtains so the local kids can't see you!
 
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