Scotsmist diary - from 1 jan 2010

[Scotsmist]

Day 7 - End of week one

Gosh, the difference a week makes!!!! I just feel the happiest girl in the World at the minute! Never lost so much at once in all my entire life!

I couldnt wait to get to the pharmacy, but didnt get a chance till around 12noon because it took mne 3 hrs to get to work, so didnt get into the office until around 10.30. I have to confess, I was NERVOUS about stepping on the scales..kept thinking, maybe I am the first one to put weight....so when it came up with 73.6kg I stepped off and said I needed to go back on again as I wasnt convinced it was right........BUT IT WAS!

I could have floated down the road, but unfortunately, was almost skating instead ;-)!

First person I phoned was my dear hubby who was so happy for me!

I just know I can do this and I am looking forward to Wk 2 and getting to goal...I better start booking that appt at the beauticians for my eyelash tint when I get to 1 stone

I still feel hungry today but I think my happiness is allowing me to not even focus on it one bit!

oh, one thing I am noticing..my confidence is returning AND I am walking differently and with my head in the air rather than my eyes to the ground!!!!

 

[louisebell26]

scotsmist that is amazing well done,, inspiration right there!!..wonderful,,fingers crossed i have a loss like that on saturday!!..

were doing good..we can do it! x

 

[Theresa6]

Well done Iris, Im soooo pleased for you! Im nearly walking on air for you too!

 

[copog]

Great feeling stay positive

 

[Scotsmist]

Day 8

I didnt get into work today...went for the train (which is one an hour) and two cancelled, so boss told me to just go home..it was minus 13!!!!

I have pottered about all day and made a lovely Turkish pasta dish for my dear hubby, and must admit I struggled like mad as it is probably one of my favourite dishes......the smell when I brought it out of the oven was incredible! But, I didnt have any I kept telling myself that it was actually just a smell and once the smell subsides I would forget, and true enough, the smell has gone and I have forgotten about it!!!

I am still struggling with the hunger pangs but just keep drinking my water and had a nice sweet black coffee which again, as usual, took the edge off the feelings.

 

[nicolas]

that was a lovely way of summing up how u feel, thats exactly how i do feel "head in the air instead of eyes on the ground" oh how i want that feeling back! that will keep me going over weekend hopefully thank you scots

 

[Scotsmist]

that was a lovely way of summing up how u feel, thats exactly how i do feel "head in the air instead of eyes on the ground" oh how i want that feeling back! that will keep me going over weekend hopefully thank you scots

Thanks Nicola......too easy to not want to look at people in the eye incase they see the sadness, but no more! We will be staring at people!! hehehehe

Have a great weekend!!

 

[Scotsmist]

Day 9
Nothing to report, as all is going well!!!!!

 

[nicolas]

good, hope you have a lovely night

 

[louisebell26]

good job scotsmist!!keep it up! x

 

[Stinkybreath]

oh, one thing I am noticing..my confidence is returning AND I am walking differently and with my head in the air rather than my eyes to the ground!!!!

Isn't that a great feeling? I feel exactly the same. My confidence has taken a real nose dive but already LT is bringing it back. I know we shouldn't let the weight effect us so dramatically but my confidence is always rock bottom when i'm unhappy with my size.

 

[Scotsmist]

Day 10
I havent found it half as difficult this time round as I did first time, for some odd reason!

Although, today, I must admit, I have found it a little tough, not to the point of giving in.

Some friends came around at noon for coffee and they scoffed some lovely German biscuits and shortbread :-( I have had them in the house, but never touched them. I had my nice sweet black coffee and at one point would have loved to have tried the German biccy, but I didnt. when they left, I gave my neighbour the remainder, PLUS, wait for it....A FULL BOX OF SWISS CHOCS I had been given as a Christmas pressie! I know they would have been ok till around May, but I knew I would scoff them at some point, so best they are not in the house.

The worst was yet to come really! I made my hubby a lovely sandwich with poppyseed bread (like french bread)...which is a real trigger point because I could smell it! I watched him eat it and boy I could have grabbed it off him!!!! But, I didnt, of course!! I am realising it is the smells that get me most! Wonder if I can get rid of my nose!!!! hehehehehe...would help I am sure!

I put on my lovely pink regatta top today..I had bought this just a few weeks after I lost weight and it was lovely......and when I tried it on the other week it was TIGHT, TIGHT, TIGHT, so when I tried it on today, I was jumping with joy!! It fits!!! WAW, what a week on LT can do...it still blows me away.

Something else I noticed, my bras are no longer tight. I was fitted after I lost all the weight and well, they were tight for me, but now, they are comfortable again...still got fat around my back, but I know this will go within the next few weeks!

I am hoping to come off LT end of Feb! I am arranging a reunion for 19 March and this time around I am going to refeed for around 3 weeks

Looking forward to getting my eyelash tint when I get the 1 stone off, which I hope is this week - fingers and toes crossed for this!!

So, all in all, I am finding it ok; you just realise how much food is a big part of your daily life and what you miss..it is often the little insignificant things of eating a small biscuit!!!!

 

[Stinkybreath]

Well done scots, really chuffed for you! I am too coming off end of feb as i am away for a hen party for 2 nights. Funny you mention the bra fitting as today when i put mine on i had to adjust the straps as they were too loose on me! Great that you fit into your top again. I don't have any clothes i get now get into i just have clothes that actually look ok on me, fit properly rather than cutting me in two or stopping me from breathing.lol

 

[Scotsmist]

Well done scots, really chuffed for you! I am too coming off end of feb as i am away for a hen party for 2 nights. Funny you mention the bra fitting as today when i put mine on i had to adjust the straps as they were too loose on me! Great that you fit into your top again. I don't have any clothes i get now get into i just have clothes that actually look ok on me, fit properly rather than cutting me in two or stopping me from breathing.lol

Thanks Stinky! Not long really.....soon by end of January and then only 4 weeks after that That's what I keep telling myself.
It is nice when your clothes fit,,,that feeling of being cut in two, has to be just as bad as the bloated feeling!!

 

[Scotsmist]

Day 11

I wasnt able to post yesterday so hope I remember what went on.

I didnt have a good day at all...had a headache all day which I couldnt shift at all. I started to struggle drinking normal water and eventually opted to buy some M & S sparkling water to help and to take away the madness that was going on in my head!

Everywhere I looked there was chocolate, and goodies! I went to M & S and I could see all the nice things and I was having a real fight in my head with the cravings and the urge to binge! It really got me down....well, in the end I got a bargain which should have cheered me up but it didnt (until today)....a pair of lovely jim jams for £2!! and a pair of size 14 (weeoooo) black jeans for £1!! BARGAIN OR WHAT!!!!!

I continued to struggle till I got home and had a soup and then the headache seemed to lift so I reckon I am leaving having a shake far too long and may look at splitting them and see if it will help! I didnt have a problem last time but for some reason I am this time around.

I kept wanting to pick when I was making my hubby's dinner, but I didnt but it did take a lot of effort!

DAY 11 DONE WITH AND I WENT TO BED FOR 10:30!!!!! AMAZING FOR ME.

Day 12

So far so good! I was up nice and early and decided I would have my first shake at 7am! It is no 1:30pm and I do feel a little hungry but not too bad...keep drinking my water and I will be ok. Will go and get some sparking water (and some exercise) in a bit.

My mind is now on countdown for the Weigh In on Thursday and I keep thinking I am not going to lose as much...well, obviously, but I wonder if that is why I am struggling thinking I am going to have a smaller weight loss this week????? I just want to get to goal so quickly!

I had a phone call from the eating disorder course! Meant to phone, just remembered....they want to meet me before the course starts on 21st, so it looks promising!! I am so excited and nervous at the same time!

All in all, today is miles better than yesterday and I just have to ride out the feelings.

My clothes feel great on me and no bloated feeling whatsoever and I feel confident and not shy about myself! I have that horrible metallic taste in my mouth; all par for the course I suppose and it is just as well I work on my own!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE!!
My day went from bad to worse and I was so busy I didnt have my second shake...consequently I went into a slump and a headache...I do think I am struggling with depression at the minute. Only mild, but I just find everything an effort, and this isnt me as I usually have lots of energy, both at work and home.

I got home and I just wanted to eat! I made a lovely baked spud for hubby and the smell was just wafting and I so wanted it.

I feel as though I am taking one day at a time this week..waiting for the weigh in and not sure how much more I can do this! The ED seems to be rearing its ugly head and I am getting that sweaty feeling and aggitation! I am determined I wont let this rule me! I am 44 for goodness sake!! I need to conqueur it.....

Going to have my last shake now which will hopefully perk me up a bit.

Need to look at the shake situation...definately not spreading them out correctly!

 

[nicolas]

delighted about top and bra i have a pair of wrangler jeans i wore last time when i lost weight and like that were tight on me over christmas have not wore them since end of november! going to wait till monday to try them on again, and then i have my 3 pairs of new jeans i really want to get into by end of LT!!!!

hope tommor is a good day for u hon

 

[irish molly]

Iris, you seem to be having an up and down time of it for the last few days. The fact that you recognise this yourself is great because it is helping you get through. Hope the ED course comes through for you.
Try to have patience with TFR, the weight will come off and the weeks will slip by quickly enough. Stay strong, you can master this.

 

[emmievic]

Bless you Scotsmist, I so know how you feel I recently admitted to my husband I was suffering with an ED and just cried for days. I really hope this diet will work for me but in the back of my mind I keep thinking - wow how easy is it not to eat?

I too had a bad day yesterday, got my period which is when I really really really want carbs. I couldn't even go into the kitchen to make my daughters sandwiches for her lunchbox cos I knew if I went near the bread I would eat half the loaf. So proud of myself that I got thro the evening - I even recognised all the times I would have usually gone and got a snack out of boredom or for comfort.

Amazed how easy it is to confess all on here! Spose its cos you can't see me!

Anyway, today all is rosey and I am looking forward to my first WI tomorrow....hope your day has improved. Sending positive vibes
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Theresa6]

Hey Iris,

loads of hugs and positive vibes heading your way. Im looking forward to your weigh-in too!!

 

[Scotsmist]

Iris, you seem to be having an up and down time of it for the last few days. The fact that you recognise this yourself is great because it is helping you get through. Hope the ED course comes through for you.
Try to have patience with TFR, the weight will come off and the weeks will slip by quickly enough. Stay strong, you can master this.

I know Mollie! I feel better today after a good night's sleep and maybe my body is telling me that I cant burn a candle at both ends, like I have been doing...staying up till way after midnight, getting up around 6:20, doing a full day, looking after a house and doing accounts for hubby and my friend! Only so much a person can take I suppose! But, my head today is saying I will keep going...wont give in that easily..but thank you so much for your kind words!