Scotsmist diary - from 1 jan 2010

emmievic said:
Bless you Scotsmist, I so know how you feel :( I recently admitted to my husband I was suffering with an ED and just cried for days. I really hope this diet will work for me but in the back of my mind I keep thinking - wow how easy is it not to eat?

I too had a bad day yesterday, got my period which is when I really really really want carbs. I couldn't even go into the kitchen to make my daughters sandwiches for her lunchbox cos I knew if I went near the bread I would eat half the loaf. So proud of myself that I got thro the evening - I even recognised all the times I would have usually gone and got a snack out of boredom or for comfort.

Amazed how easy it is to confess all on here! Spose its cos you can't see me!

Anyway, today all is rosey and I am looking forward to my first WI tomorrow....hope your day has improved. Sending positive vibes
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Hi Em
It is amazing how liberating it is to admit for the first time, but then the ED seems to push up even further I think!!! Doesnt want you to let it get the better of it ;-)! Dont be fooled into thinking LT will solve it, honestly, it wont......well, in my case anyway, hence why I have to start this coping course next week! I need to learn to deal with situations and with the ED. Once you come of LT, it actually becomes harder (well, that is my experience).
Try and get some help if you can!
Good that you stayed out of the kitchen :)!! Well done you.
So far, I feel good and positive, but I did have half a shake today and am going to try and spread them out a bit to see if that helps. I am carrying on regardless :)
Good luck with WI!!! Mine is Thursday :)
 
Day 14

Last night I was convinced that I would be coming off LT! Anyway, was up at 4am this morning as hubby was working at the motorsport show in Birmingham....didnt get up but was awake. When he left home I had a terrible nightmare where I thought someone was in the house and my room and I was so paralysed with fear that I was trying to scream, but couldnt..it was so horrible and eventually I manged to scream out and then fell asleep!

I got up and had my first FULL shake at around 7:20am...my day today was not too bad as I seemed to be ok and no craving or headache. really nervous about the weigh in....just thought 2-3lb loss, but in my heart I secretly wanted more!

So, lo and behold when Michelle at the chemist told me I had lost almost 6lb. I was totally gobsmacked!

I had a good chat with her about how I was feeling, how I was doing and the struggle this week. She has been so supportive and said that I needed a safety net and was prepared to allow me to do 2 shakes and 1 protein meal if it got too much. So, the fact that is there helps, but strangely enough I feel as though I can go another week! So differnt to the last few days.

I had my second shake around 3:30pm as I was at the hairdresser tonight and knew I wouldnt have my last shake till around 9pm.

One of the receptionists at work said she had noticed I had lost weight and my face looked thinner!

I bought myself a pair of size 12!!!! trousers from H & M...a little bit tight, but I reckon within a week or so they will fit! I also bought myself a lovely cardigan :) a little treat for me as I know I have had a bit of a hard week.

So, I have got past my 1stone mark, so my treat is an eyelash tint which I will organise and have next week ;-)!!!!!

I feel as though I can carry on, which is so different to how I felt last night. I dont have any cravings at all tonight and feel as though I am back to my normal self. I am looking forward to the weekend and just catching up on some sleep :)

We are starting the health club again next week, so I am looking forward to pampering myself 4-5 times a week.

I have been totally blown away with the support from the forum!!!!!!! wouldnt be here if it wasnt for them and their kind words. We are all in it together and need each other for support.

Here's to Day 15!!!!!!
 
Well done my love! It certainly is an emotional rollercoaster on this bloomin diet isn't it? I'm getting thro every day as a single at the moment waiting for the moods to even out a bit - its so weird that one hour you can be raving to a friend how easy it is and how they have to do it, the next you are climbing the walls trying not to think of the left over crusty roll that is sitting in the kitchen.

Hope the third week is good to you, was only weighed yesterday but am already counting down to the next one!

xx
 
emmievic said:
Well done my love! It certainly is an emotional rollercoaster on this bloomin diet isn't it? I'm getting thro every day as a single at the moment waiting for the moods to even out a bit - its so weird that one hour you can be raving to a friend how easy it is and how they have to do it, the next you are climbing the walls trying not to think of the left over crusty roll that is sitting in the kitchen.

Hope the third week is good to you, was only weighed yesterday but am already counting down to the next one!

xx
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Hi Emmie
Oh, it sure is...and sometimes you think people must think you are deranged in some way as one minute you are high as a kite and then the next as lo as you can go!!!!

The WI's definitely get you motivated and just think, tomorrow, you will only have 5 day, not 6 :), then there will be the weekend and before you know it, WI day will be here...In some ways it does fly, but in other ways it is so slow.

Do hope you are ok!!
 
Day 15 - Day 1 of Week 3!!!

WAWWEEEEEEEEEEEE.....I just didnt think I would be here and I am and I feel so proud of myself.

I feel great about myself...I know I dont have a svelte like figure, but I feel happy with what I see again in the mirror..rather than hiding away all the time and not looking I am able to look!

I dont feel the fat at my back either which is always the one sign for me that I am putting weight on, but it just isnt there at all..there is still fat there, but I dont feel it when I am walking:)

I had one shake early this morning and then around 2:30 had half a choc shake.....then I had an idea that when I got home from work tonight I was gonna have half a soup shake (the other two halves of the choc and soup I will have tomorrow). I then had my last choc shake around 9pm.

I realise that night is my worst time, so I am best to have 1.5/2 to shakes, but I was getting a real headache after 1pm and thought it would be best to try half a shake, and it did work!

I am having no problem with water either, in fact I could drink up to 5ltr but I dont.

I am still struggling with the cravings, etc, and was smelling my hubby's dinner tonight, but I dont want to give up! I want to get to 10 st something next week....I think I seem to be thinking more about how long it will take me! Last time it didnt bother me so much but this time it is....not sure why.

The ED course maybe postponed till April. Was so disappointed, BUT, in looking at it, it might be best for it to be ther whilst I am eating and then when I am having problems, etc...they will be there to help and to assist and point me in the right direction. If I am on LT I suppose I wont have the struggles like I normally have! So, maybe it is for the best.

I am now on a mission to find a nice outfit for the reunion I am organising..some people I havent seen for around 20 yrs and then I was around a size 20! So, they will get a shock, but I think they have seen my photos on FB so it maybe wont be so much of a shock.

All in all, I am still coping and getting on with it. It is an extreme diet and the swollen gums are coming back again, so I need to take my meds that the dentist gave me last time (one spare tube). This is annoying as I was very distressed with this last time as I take pride in my teeth and worry that I get a more serious disease!

So, here's to Day 16..getting up late tomorrow as I am tired and want to try and get all my sleep in over the weekend, PLUS it means I can have my shakes later too :)
 
Iris, sounds like you are having a very positive day. Good for you. Everything happens for a reason doesn't it? Seeing as the ED course is postponed, you actually feel it will be better for you when you are on food again. You are dead right about that.
Your reunion will give you such satisfaction as t will really feel great to be in a slinky outfit and know you look good.
In the last few years since I piled on weight, I have studiously avoided any occasion that might mean meeting people that knew me when I was about half the size. Now, I am more confident, even though I still have a long way to go. I can empathise with how you feel about the reunion. Happy shopping for your new outfit!!
 
irish molly said:
Iris, sounds like you are having a very positive day. Good for you. Everything happens for a reason doesn't it? Seeing as the ED course is postponed, you actually feel it will be better for you when you are on food again. You are dead right about that.
Your reunion will give you such satisfaction as t will really feel great to be in a slinky outfit and know you look good.
In the last few years since I piled on weight, I have studiously avoided any occasion that might mean meeting people that knew me when I was about half the size. Now, I am more confident, even though I still have a long way to go. I can empathise with how you feel about the reunion. Happy shopping for your new outfit!!
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Thanks IrishMolly! It is amazing how you shy away from meeting people when you are so uncomfortable with yourself. I always feel I have to make some excuse and that it is some medical problem! It is so nice not to have to think or feel like that.
 
Day 17
I can see how much I have lost today! I wore a pair of black cords (size 16), way too big now and a top I bought only last week and I cant see any fat lumps at all! I know there are some, but you cant see on my top!!
I went shopping today; charity shop :)!! Got a BRILL grey wool Hooch skirt! SIZE 12!!!!!!!!!! And I then went into the market near home and got a M & S waitcoat/cardigan type top for £10 and again a SIZE 12!!!! The top totally matches the Hootch skirt ;-) I even tried on a Karen Millen dress - £4.99; oh it was absolutely gorgeous; size 14..it did feel a bit tight but I know it would fit in a few weeks, BUT there was a sweat mark on the underarm and with it being silk I didnt know if it would dry clean...but, I am still dreaming about it!

So, all in all, I feel so positive. I can now start to see the weight loss as well as feel it. I can actually see the goal and like yesterday regarding time and me fretting over it, I dont feel like that today. I just know that each day/week I am on LT, I am getting to my goal; what a lovely feeling.

Something I read today; if we dont believe we will get to goal, then most probably we wont...so, I am staying positive and BELIEVING I can do it, so that I can actually do it this time around, no matter what.....

No cravings, nothing today,,,just happy feelings of getting slimmer and oh, healthier too!
 
What a fabulously positive post. You sound in such good form. Great that you had a such a nice day. Size 12!!!!!!!!!!!!! LT rocks or what!!!!!!
 
Hi Iris, I'm so pleased for you - it really is going to work. I actually hope the ED course is postponed until April - I think it would be more beneficial and appropriate when you are at goal.. Plus if you are at goal, the ED course with give you a focus whilst refeeding/maintaining.

I tried on a size 12 sequin dress (in the sale in next) it fitted (snuggly I admit! and I didn't buy it) But couldn't get anywhere near the size 14 jeans, well, they were about 2 inches from fastening - I bought them anyway (in the sale!!) as I hope they will fit in 2 or 3 weeks and that is my aim.

Glad you got some bargains, and there will be another Karen Millen dress - maybe you could buy a new one, just for you when you have maintained for a certain number of months - because getting to goal I know you will do - you need a big motivation for maintaining!

I too am feeling much more positive - I'm doing 20 mins on the vibroplate a day and I'm looking forward to when the snow disappears and the nights aren't as dark as I would like to take up running (LOL at myself even considering it !!)

Thank you for keeping your diary on here - its really worthwhile for many people, including me.

Caren.x :party0049:
 
nerac123 said:
Hi Iris, I'm so pleased for you - it really is going to work. I actually hope the ED course is postponed until April - I think it would be more beneficial and appropriate when you are at goal.. Plus if you are at goal, the ED course with give you a focus whilst refeeding/maintaining.

I tried on a size 12 sequin dress (in the sale in next) it fitted (snuggly I admit! and I didn't buy it) But couldn't get anywhere near the size 14 jeans, well, they were about 2 inches from fastening - I bought them anyway (in the sale!!) as I hope they will fit in 2 or 3 weeks and that is my aim.

Glad you got some bargains, and there will be another Karen Millen dress - maybe you could buy a new one, just for you when you have maintained for a certain number of months - because getting to goal I know you will do - you need a big motivation for maintaining!

I too am feeling much more positive - I'm doing 20 mins on the vibroplate a day and I'm looking forward to when the snow disappears and the nights aren't as dark as I would like to take up running (LOL at myself even considering it !!)

Thank you for keeping your diary on here - its really worthwhile for many people, including me.

Caren.x :party0049:
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Thanks Caren.
It helps me to write it down as it is so easy to forget exactly how you feel day by day :) Glad it is helping you as sometimes I find I am just to honest :)!!!!

Go girl with the Next buys! You will get into those jeans; that's the thing about LT, you know that within a week or so your clothes will feel so different! It really is quite amazing and my brain still cant get used to it.

Oh, I miss the vibroplate; it was brilliant.....have you done your inch loss again?

You are right about the ED course; I think it is good about it being postponed..at the begining it upset me, but now, I see the logic and whilst I am trying to maintain, it will be something to help me for 10 weeks and to understand and get support!

Glad you are finding it good too!!!!
 
Have to say again Iris, you are truly amazing and once of the nicest people I have met on this forum.

Keep up the amazing good work your doing and remember how many people you inspire on here.

Mwah xxxxxx
 
Minimin said:
Have to say again Iris, you are truly amazing and once of the nicest people I have met on this forum.

Keep up the amazing good work your doing and remember how many people you inspire on here.

Mwah xxxxxx
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Ohhhh...thanks Mini! that is nice...I always try to be positive and see the best in everyone and myself (hopefully) :)

You are doing incredibly well!!!!!!!!!

Thanks again, that was very kind of you.
 
Scotsmist said:
Ohhhh...thanks Mini! that is nice...I always try to be positive and see the best in everyone and myself (hopefully) :)

You are doing incredibly well!!!!!!!!!

Thanks again, that was very kind of you.
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Your all so welcome, your always there to offer support when we need it, I always think your the jewel in the MiniMins.com crown!!


xxxx
 
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