Self Awareness vs Self Acceptance

Discussion in 'Bring your Head Inside and your Body will Follow' started by Diva, 30 July 2006 Social URL.

  1. Diva

    Diva Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    Is it possible to truly accept yourself without being fully aware of who you are both physically and mentally?

    Often those of us with weight issues, especially at the beginning of our journeys, we feel soooo bad about ourselves that we "avoid" ourselves at every opportunity. Whether it be to not look in mirrors, not to take photos, or hide behind clothes we hope not to be seen dead in....we go out of our way to make ourselves invisible when, by our very choices, we are permanently leaned against the visibility button!! We go about our daily lives totally "unaware" of who we really are instead living in the belief that we are who we think we are....still with me?

    Only when you have self awareness can you achieve self acceptance. It is only when you truly accept yourself that you can then experience increased self esteem, self love and we've all read enough self development books to know that self love is the first step in discovering romantic love.

    We all want to lose "x" amount of weight....however, in order to make and sustain any lasting physical changes you have to know yourself. This is the foundation of your transformation and just as you know that a building that is built on shaky foundations will eventually fall down .... that is exactly what will happen if your foundations are not strong....you will regain weight, you will continue to yo-yo.

    Remember that food is much like a drug that is used to dull the pain ...but the original problem that caused the pain in the first place is still there long after the drug has worn off if it is not seen to. That means loving ourselves just as much NOW as when we reach our goals....this is a true work in progress. Remember that the body you have now is exactly the same body that you have at either 10stone or 30stone!

    Becoming self aware can be a difficult process depending on your own personal circumstances....some people may benefit from additional counselling and some will be ok with the support they receive either through these forums or their own support groups. It doesn't matter which vehicle you use so long as you are doing the job.

    Losing weight alone cannot transform your life. Changing your perception can. :)
     
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  3. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    Ooooh a bit deep and meaningful for a Sunday night, but all good stuff.
     
  4. htpink

    htpink CDC

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    Wise words as always - thank you

    Hels x
     
  5. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    Hmm - I'm starting to really have a good look at myself and I'm not sure I like what I'm seeing.
    [​IMG]
    love
     
  6. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Scary innit;) Guess I'll just look at myself through the corner of my eye, every now and again :D
     
  7. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    I've got both hands over my eyes and peeping through my fingas! lol
    love
     
  8. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    LOL. Do you think there should be a warning on the door of this 'room'? :D
     
  9. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    Room 101? lol
     
  10. angelic_fruitcake

    angelic_fruitcake Member

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    Very true. You can accept what you see, warts and all, and still want to change aspects of it - I think where 'salf acceptance' and 'fat acceptance' differ is that the fat acceptance people celebrate their fat, which is fine - but we can't all reconcile ourselves to that extent of 'self love'

    I can get to a point where I can look in the mirror naked and accept that this is me, now, and this is what I have to work with. I got this way by dieting for twenty years, and so it's going to take a while to switch off the impulses that made me diet...and start to eat like a normal person & lose weight.

    Over eating made me fat...and I over ate because of constant attempts to diet. I was on a treadmill and to stop that treadmill I have to swicth the off button.

    It doesn't mean I accept I will ALWAYS be as I am, just that to move on I have to look at where I am NOW, accept it and deal with it.
     
  11. Diva

    Diva Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    I like your thinking, Angelic!! That is exactly what will move you forward into your success....:)
     
  12. zhoey

    zhoey Member

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    wow! very deep... thaks for sharing..
     
  13. Scarlet Daisy

    Scarlet Daisy Hungry For Life

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    It is always tempting to use food to "stuff down" emotions, but like you said, the comfort factor wears off pretty quickly and like most abused drugs, excess food leaves damage.

    I'm terrible for avoiding myself. I hate mirrors and photos, or I sort of cloud my judgment in my head...Pretending that I look OK, or that others won't notice me if I'm scruffy enough and wear enough black, baggy things.
     
  14. helloworld!

    helloworld! Full Member

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    I have recently realised that I am addicted to food. I too use it to stuff things down, and to give myself a feeling of satisfaction that perhaps I don't get in other ways. I haven't quite worked out for myself what I need to do to stop the cycle, but i am happy to have this enlightening moment. At least the light is on now! But I am also happy that i have realised that other people do this too. So this doesn't make me a bad person, or a lesser person than anyone else.
     
  15. TobiiRheaStarr

    TobiiRheaStarr Away with the faeries....

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    Very true. I am starting to accept myself for who I am as a person, but I still have parts of me I would like to change (weight) to love myself 100% if that makes sense?
     
  16. QueenMaude

    QueenMaude Member

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    I don't think i'd ever be able to accept myself until i'm at my goal weight. But its like a magical number, once i reach it i am aware that i probably still won't be happy. but thinking that losing weight will solve all your self esteem issues is easier than thinking that one day you might actually have to like yourself.

    i just cant see a day when i'll ever like what i look like and will be able to stand in front of someone, naked, without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.
     
  17. Wrinkly

    Wrinkly Recovering chocoholic.

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    I agree, that's why I have started to read Gillian Riley's book in the hope that it will help me..
     
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  19. Wrinkly

    Wrinkly Recovering chocoholic.

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    Oh, how often have I eaten for eating's sake! How often have I criticised myself for doing so. Now at last, I am getting help and really what I'm reading is plain & pure common sense.
     
  20. Beth_1308

    Beth_1308 Full Member

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    Dear all, I have been really inspired by the first post. I, like so many used to focus on my goal weight and how everything would be so much different when I got there. However, after having a very difficult personal year in which I lost my Father suddenly I started CBT therapy. It helped me not to change my past but how I could deal with issues in my present, how I dealt with situations etc. I used to eat emotionally but now I have no need for it. You really can learn to love yourself and your life will be better for it. Look after yourself first and foremost and everything else will follow. For me, weight loss is something that will happen, I have an idea of where I want to go and I know I will get there. However for me it is more about being healthy, for when I look after my mind, my body will follow. I truly believe the same can be true for everyone else. We're all fabulous and beautiful and we're making a change to our lives just by being on this forum. We're doing it and we can achieve anything!! For more info on the CBT, I used C.Sweet's 'CBT can change your life'. Sounds corny but it worked for me.
    Love and best wishes to all!

    Beth xx
     
  21. Harriet101

    Harriet101 Full Member

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    For me my compulsive eatingg was a way to express my low self esteem. I had hypnotherapy for the root causes before my eating problems were tackled.

    Now it is much easier to gain relaxed control over my food as when I feel the desire to overeat I know it is a habit with no function, and so much easier to dismantle.

    I feel so much happier now. Still have times when I feel pants, but they are mixed with feeling good about myself also.
     
  22. candyloss

    candyloss Full Member

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    Diva makes absolute sense!! the reason Im fat is because I dont like myself, losing weight alone wont help me like myself. So, this time Im working on both my mind and weight. Its hard because habits of overeating are ingrained but at least im looking at things more holistically this time. Thanks Diva x
     
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