Self Awareness vs Self Acceptance

I think self-awareness is knowing your good points and bad points. That is step no 1 and I can safely tick that off.

I do think self-acceptance is a one day at a time thing though. It is ongoing, I don't think there is a "final" destination. It's interesting I say that because I've always been the type of person to say "what will I do next?" instead of enjoy the moment..is this tied into it I wonder? And I can get pretty restless with life for no apparent reason too.

I do think that self-acceptance means being good to yourself even when you're at your worst. Even when you've gained weight, still saying to yourself "it's okay, I can get this off and I will get it off and keep it off and I will treat myself much better in future".
It's showing ourselves some compassion..it's easy to be kind to yourself when everything is going great but when things go wrong for whatever reason, that is when the self-blame can set in. And what is the point of blaming ourselves or others? It is what it is. You can either fix it or not. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally Zen or anything but I would like to be :)

I think there is societal pressure on people to "have it all"-it's something I discussed in another post but it's related to this topic too. People think "oh they're so sorted compared with me" when the truth is, everyone has a problem of some kind so people really aren't all that different deep down, once you scratch away the surface/trappings like wealth, social position etc.

The media wants women to be "other than" what we are. Women have to be 6 foot-never mind that you're 5'2 and will never grow! Just buy some heels! The fashion industry promotes a homogenous look despite the fact that women come in all different shapes and figures. It seems like everywhere you look, you see homogeny-even in the high street, all the clothes shops sell the same type of clothes, promote the same trends etc. Individuality isn't a very sellable concept.

It's the same with men too..men have to all have 6 packs, despite the fact that some women, like me, actually don't even like 6packs! I prefer lean and toned look anyday:) That's how advertising works-preying on people's insecurities and making them think there is "something wrong with them" when they're completely normal for their demographic range.

Women's magazines make their money of telling women about the latest diet and all the information is totally contradictory. One week its about "the fibre diet" where you can eat more fibre. The next week, its Dukan where you cut carbs.. etc. I mean, which is it??

I do like self-help books but sometimes I do think that marketing departments are just jumping on the bandwagon and exploiting people's misery. I also feel that bad news will sell better than good news.

I read a summary of "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf which basically went along the lines of "women are being oppressed by the beauty industry because men still are the financial breadwinners". Basically in cultures where men have the most money, more emphasis is placed on women's appearance. In cultures where *women* have the most money, more emphasis is placed on men's appearance and the men doll themselves up for the women..I never thought of things like that before but it gave me another interesting view to consider.

Also, there is a "dog eat dog" culture in the world really so even when you are doing well, not that many people are going to compliment you..people will be jealous of your success etc. This is another factor to take into consideration.

Parenting can be an issue too.

I think people can think they are "broken" when in fact, they are anything but broken. Maybe they've been mistreating themselves because they didn't think they were worth anything. But they can stop this bad habit right now. That's all that is..a bad habit that can be unlearned right now. Because we are worth it. I know that's from the L'oreal ad but it wouldn't be such a famous slogan if it wasn't true!! :) We are all worth it. And when we know we're worth it, we eat well, we exercise, we treat ourselves well, we spoil ourselves and know that we deserve our weight loss and success.

But having said all that, you have to believe yourself even when no one else does. This is the key to self-acceptance. This means believing in yourself *all* the time-if things are going bad, you know you can turn it around. you believe that you can do it.

Oh and we don't need to wait until we've lost weight to accept ourselves and treat ourselves well!! x
 
Its true what you say.. I was feeling a little low last couple of weeks and I naturally sourced excessive, fatty foods. I suppose a way of not numbing the pain but bringing in a joy of eating fries, hot chickens wings.. I love junk food, however I hate feeling of feeling fat more. So I have the power to change that and I will. I love slimming world as I can always find a healthy alternative for hot chicken wings and fries. So goodbye KFC ... my slimming world chicken wings and fries are so much kinder and better for me:)
 
very good thread, I don't think I'll be fully happy until I reach my goal weight but knowing that I'm losing weight the healthy way is enough to keep me happy and sane for now! :) x
 
Hi there, I realise this is an old-ish thread but it makes so much sense. In the past I have not looked after myself or believed that I deserved things like nicely polished toenails and moisturising my legs. I think I always had the view that 'whats the point in moisturising my legs when the rest of me is so fat and ugly).

But I have recently come to appreciate that fat is just one issue - the rest is all me denying any self-worth from years of ingrained repetition to myself that I was undeserving, because I was fat. But guess what, your weight isn't all that you are, you are lots of things (or not) - clever, funny, hardworking, imaginative, thoughtful, neat, messy, good friend/daughter/mother etc. We shouldn't give so much power and importance to our weight, because it puts the problem out of proportion and that makes it feel like it is a great world nemisis that can never be overcome.

Thin people, after all, don't dwell on how thin they are every day...

Thanks for the great post.
 
I think self-awareness is knowing your good points and bad points. That is step no 1 and I can safely tick that off.

I do think self-acceptance is a one day at a time thing though. It is ongoing, I don't think there is a "final" destination. It's interesting I say that because I've always been the type of person to say "what will I do next?" instead of enjoy the moment..is this tied into it I wonder? And I can get pretty restless with life for no apparent reason too.

I do think that self-acceptance means being good to yourself even when you're at your worst. Even when you've gained weight, still saying to yourself "it's okay, I can get this off and I will get it off and keep it off and I will treat myself much better in future".
It's showing ourselves some compassion..it's easy to be kind to yourself when everything is going great but when things go wrong for whatever reason, that is when the self-blame can set in. And what is the point of blaming ourselves or others? It is what it is. You can either fix it or not. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally Zen or anything but I would like to be :)

I think there is societal pressure on people to "have it all"-it's something I discussed in another post but it's related to this topic too. People think "oh they're so sorted compared with me" when the truth is, everyone has a problem of some kind so people really aren't all that different deep down, once you scratch away the surface/trappings like wealth, social position etc.

The media wants women to be "other than" what we are. Women have to be 6 foot-never mind that you're 5'2 and will never grow! Just buy some heels! The fashion industry promotes a homogenous look despite the fact that women come in all different shapes and figures. It seems like everywhere you look, you see homogeny-even in the high street, all the clothes shops sell the same type of clothes, promote the same trends etc. Individuality isn't a very sellable concept.

It's the same with men too..men have to all have 6 packs, despite the fact that some women, like me, actually don't even like 6packs! I prefer lean and toned look anyday:) That's how advertising works-preying on people's insecurities and making them think there is "something wrong with them" when they're completely normal for their demographic range.

Women's magazines make their money of telling women about the latest diet and all the information is totally contradictory. One week its about "the fibre diet" where you can eat more fibre. The next week, its Dukan where you cut carbs.. etc. I mean, which is it??

I do like self-help books but sometimes I do think that marketing departments are just jumping on the bandwagon and exploiting people's misery. I also feel that bad news will sell better than good news.

I read a summary of "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf which basically went along the lines of "women are being oppressed by the beauty industry because men still are the financial breadwinners". Basically in cultures where men have the most money, more emphasis is placed on women's appearance. In cultures where *women* have the most money, more emphasis is placed on men's appearance and the men doll themselves up for the women..I never thought of things like that before but it gave me another interesting view to consider.

Also, there is a "dog eat dog" culture in the world really so even when you are doing well, not that many people are going to compliment you..people will be jealous of your success etc. This is another factor to take into consideration.

Parenting can be an issue too.

I think people can think they are "broken" when in fact, they are anything but broken. Maybe they've been mistreating themselves because they didn't think they were worth anything. But they can stop this bad habit right now. That's all that is..a bad habit that can be unlearned right now. Because we are worth it. I know that's from the L'oreal ad but it wouldn't be such a famous slogan if it wasn't true!! :) We are all worth it. And when we know we're worth it, we eat well, we exercise, we treat ourselves well, we spoil ourselves and know that we deserve our weight loss and success.

But having said all that, you have to believe yourself even when no one else does. This is the key to self-acceptance. This means believing in yourself *all* the time-if things are going bad, you know you can turn it around. you believe that you can do it.

Oh and we don't need to wait until we've lost weight to accept ourselves and treat ourselves well!! x



So true, too many people including myself never live in the moment. Very good advice, we are all worth it
 
Hi there, I realise this is an old-ish thread but it makes so much sense. In the past I have not looked after myself or believed that I deserved things like nicely polished toenails and moisturising my legs. I think I always had the view that 'whats the point in moisturising my legs when the rest of me is so fat and ugly).

But I have recently come to appreciate that fat is just one issue - the rest is all me denying any self-worth from years of ingrained repetition to myself that I was undeserving, because I was fat. But guess what, your weight isn't all that you are, you are lots of things (or not) - clever, funny, hardworking, imaginative, thoughtful, neat, messy, good friend/daughter/mother etc. We shouldn't give so much power and importance to our weight, because it puts the problem out of proportion and that makes it feel like it is a great world nemisis that can never be overcome.

Thin people, after all, don't dwell on how thin they are every day...

Thanks for the great post.


Reading this actually made me think of all the stuff/excuse I make because of my weight. when it is really to do with not loving myself enough to believe i deserve better
 
I'm glad I came across this post today, and although I know it's an oldie, it's definitely a goodie :) I, like many other people, battle with myself and almost refuse to allow myself nice things until I get to goal weight (why bother getting my hair cut? why bother getting my nails done? why bother buying myself nice clothes in my current size?) and I know that isn't healthy. I would love to be able to learn more about myself as a person, but it's hard when your every-day life is consumed by self-loathing and obsessing over your weight :(

I think I need to find a book to read up a little bit more about this, as it will probably benefit my weight loss and keep me 100% dedicated if I learn to appreciate myself!
 
Very inspiring Diva, let us not judge ourselves by what we think other people are seeing or thinking. Only we as individuals know ourselves, our challenges and our experiences. We do, though need to be honest with ourselves and accept and change that we find wanting.
 
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Wonderful thread. A positive self image regardless of physical reality is an essential component to attain goals, grow on the avenue we choose or become who we want to become. A positive self image is created by getting in touch with the potential we know we have and giving this potential room to move and manifest in the avenue of our choosing.

A positive self image is developed through the rejection of surrounding pessism, ignoring the negative people whose default position is stuck on impossible! A positive self image is you being in love with yourself.
 
To add to these great responses.

I am a guy and the stereotype out there is guys hate asking for directions when we are lost(before gps lol), Why? because we are afraid of facing that alleged moment of weakness that we aren't in control. However on the other side of asking for direction so that we know where we are, is the desired destination. So when we see something about ourselves it is important to take a good look at where we are. At that point that we know, and accept where we are we can start moving in the direction we desire to go. I train a client which when we first started she had many reservations about herself. She was afraid of looking dumb working with the weights, she was afraid to get measurements, and she was afraid of the scale. Sounds like the guy that afraid of finding out how lost he is, but on the other side of finding out your current position is the path to you getting where you desire to be. If you have ever been lost, delayed flight, etc. You know that when you are on the way there is at worst relief that you are on your way, at best the excitement of knowing you will eventually be where you desire to be. Part of our fear to look inside is that we know once we find out what is holding us back we can make a choice of continuing our current path or make a change.
 
I always throw away photos of myself where I look tubby so I think I see a very idealised version when I look back through photo albums. I probably need to face up to the bad and the good!!
 
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