Show's over folks
- Thread starter cateka
- Start date
shrinkingannie
Gold Member
For me when I binged a purged there was two types - one when I sat in the house alone and ate a large amt of food and purged, in this case the purging was always part of the plan, the other times though were when I would try and eat a normal amount (often in company) but then one timy bit of food too much would make me feel full and that was it I had to purge.
Other times if I planned to eat nothing for a day and I ate something I would purge then too even if it was only one bowl of cereal.
I think I will always think about purging when I feel very full-, I just dont feel as full now if I eat a normal sized meal wheras before like cat says a little meal was enough to trigger feelings of fullness and hence failure and lead to a binge and then of course purge.
Cat I am glad you are doing well, if you keep trying you will definately get there pet.
Other times if I planned to eat nothing for a day and I ate something I would purge then too even if it was only one bowl of cereal.
I think I will always think about purging when I feel very full-, I just dont feel as full now if I eat a normal sized meal wheras before like cat says a little meal was enough to trigger feelings of fullness and hence failure and lead to a binge and then of course purge.
Cat I am glad you are doing well, if you keep trying you will definately get there pet.
cateka
Full Member
Oh guys its been awfuuuuul...
My course of antidepressants ran out ages ago, I can't quite bring myself to go back to her because I just feel too ashamed. I got referred to a specialist ages ago but because the clinic is so understaffed I've been waiting weeks for an appointment.
I've spent entire days at home bringing up everything I ate, and I mean everything - if I swallowed a grape, up it would come. It wastes so much time. It must have buggered up my metabolism or something because my weight flew back up to 8st 4lb a few days ago.
This is really slaughtering my relationship, my boyfriend and I haven't had sex in nearly a month now. I don't want to drag him into it but I just can't bear to let him see my horrible fat body, who'd want to **** that? This is on top of my restless nights and bursting into tears round his house with nothing to say but "I'm sorry... I just hate being so fat." I haven't seen him in nearly a week now because I just can't stand the thought of him seeing me at all. Of course he doesn't understand. And how could I expect him to?
Good news is I've been bringing up less because I've been eating less, somewhere along the line I forgot the joys of raw vegetables
sugar snap peas, baby corns, peppers and carrots ahoy! You guys have to get in on some of this, they are so yummy.... eating these makes me feel less guilty so I purge less. Now that I'm less tired (especially in the morning) I can exercise more. My weight has fallen back to 8st, hopefully it won't stop there. I've arranged to meet up with my boyfriend tomorrow, hopefully I can stop being such a selfish tart and think of something other than my weight to talk about. Can only hope for the best eh?
Thanks for listening folks
My course of antidepressants ran out ages ago, I can't quite bring myself to go back to her because I just feel too ashamed. I got referred to a specialist ages ago but because the clinic is so understaffed I've been waiting weeks for an appointment.
I've spent entire days at home bringing up everything I ate, and I mean everything - if I swallowed a grape, up it would come. It wastes so much time. It must have buggered up my metabolism or something because my weight flew back up to 8st 4lb a few days ago.
This is really slaughtering my relationship, my boyfriend and I haven't had sex in nearly a month now. I don't want to drag him into it but I just can't bear to let him see my horrible fat body, who'd want to **** that? This is on top of my restless nights and bursting into tears round his house with nothing to say but "I'm sorry... I just hate being so fat." I haven't seen him in nearly a week now because I just can't stand the thought of him seeing me at all. Of course he doesn't understand. And how could I expect him to?
Good news is I've been bringing up less because I've been eating less, somewhere along the line I forgot the joys of raw vegetables
sugar snap peas, baby corns, peppers and carrots ahoy! You guys have to get in on some of this, they are so yummy.... eating these makes me feel less guilty so I purge less. Now that I'm less tired (especially in the morning) I can exercise more. My weight has fallen back to 8st, hopefully it won't stop there. I've arranged to meet up with my boyfriend tomorrow, hopefully I can stop being such a selfish tart and think of something other than my weight to talk about. Can only hope for the best eh?Thanks for listening folks
abz
Gold Member
Well here is where you get to talk about your weight hon. But I have to say that you don't sound like you've got much of it to worry about. Get back to your docs to get new pills if you think you need them. don't feel ashamed about it. that's what a doctor is there for and they won't criticise you for it. they will advise you and help you. Keep sticking at it for the counselling and in fact I would go back to the doc and push for it!!
well done for eating things that don't make you want to purge as much hon. but bringing up everything you are eating is not good.
as for the issues with your bloke. I really can't advise you on that. other than talking to him about it. after all, it's up to him what he finds attractive and since he is with you, i'm thinking it is you. ask him. if you want to have sex with the guy, and he wants it too, then go for it!!
we are always here to listen but babes. get yourself back to the doc and get yourself what help you can. you are sounding worryingly delighted that your weight is dropping due to your purging when weight loss needs to be healthy. you desperately want to stop purging. you've said this, so try and concentrate on that instead of what the scales say. i know that they are intricately linked, and that i don't really understand but i really think you should talk to someone who does. i just care about you hon so i hope you don't think i'm being patronising. stay in touch and take care of yourself!!
ps. do your folks know about this? can they help in any way?
abz xx
well done for eating things that don't make you want to purge as much hon. but bringing up everything you are eating is not good.
as for the issues with your bloke. I really can't advise you on that. other than talking to him about it. after all, it's up to him what he finds attractive and since he is with you, i'm thinking it is you. ask him. if you want to have sex with the guy, and he wants it too, then go for it!!
we are always here to listen but babes. get yourself back to the doc and get yourself what help you can. you are sounding worryingly delighted that your weight is dropping due to your purging when weight loss needs to be healthy. you desperately want to stop purging. you've said this, so try and concentrate on that instead of what the scales say. i know that they are intricately linked, and that i don't really understand but i really think you should talk to someone who does. i just care about you hon so i hope you don't think i'm being patronising. stay in touch and take care of yourself!!
ps. do your folks know about this? can they help in any way?
abz xx
We have spoke before cat, and sorry to hear things havent been great for you :hug99:
but you have to ask yourself one question....do you really want to die?
because thats what your doing to yourself, you cant control the bingeing, but you can control doctors appointments, anti-depressants and counciling that you need.
So do it, do it for us on here cus we all care, do it for your family, do it for your boyfriend, but most of all do it for you!
bulemia is just as much of a killer as obesity. so please, get help.:sign0009:
PM me if you need someone to talk to, and i will give you my email address x
but you have to ask yourself one question....do you really want to die?
because thats what your doing to yourself, you cant control the bingeing, but you can control doctors appointments, anti-depressants and counciling that you need.
So do it, do it for us on here cus we all care, do it for your family, do it for your boyfriend, but most of all do it for you!
bulemia is just as much of a killer as obesity. so please, get help.:sign0009:
PM me if you need someone to talk to, and i will give you my email address x
cateka
Full Member
For those who followed, I had a huge eye-opener yesterday.
Yup, I had my first oesophagal tear
It wasn't that painful and I didn't go to hospital but it was very scary. The doctor told me if I purge one more time I could make it bigger and it could potentially be fatal.
So here it is, I am officially cold turkey, too scared of dying.
Top stuff
Yup, I had my first oesophagal tear
It wasn't that painful and I didn't go to hospital but it was very scary. The doctor told me if I purge one more time I could make it bigger and it could potentially be fatal.
So here it is, I am officially cold turkey, too scared of dying.
Top stuff
Mrs V
Loves Life!
Cateka, I have just read your whole thread and although I cant even pretend to understand what you are going through, I want you to know that there a lot of people on here that are concerned for you Hun.
This oesophagal tear that you have just had is life threatening and sounds as if you are listening to the Doctor this time.
I was diagnosed with depression many years ago, I took 3 tablets and decided that they weren't for me...only I could change my life around. (It had got to the stage where I was contemplating suicide and I constantly asked myself..would anyone miss me if I wasnt there?)
I counselled myself (I am also a trained counsellor now) through it and eventually things improved.
In an ideal world we could wave a magic and all our hurt would disappear. Get the help and counselling that you need, as everyone on here has said, its not going to happen over night and there may be a few things raised that will cause you to take a step backwards, but that is part of the healing process.
Keep updating this thread Hun and let us know how you are doing.
You are in my thoughts.
Kerry-Ann
xx
This oesophagal tear that you have just had is life threatening and sounds as if you are listening to the Doctor this time.
I was diagnosed with depression many years ago, I took 3 tablets and decided that they weren't for me...only I could change my life around. (It had got to the stage where I was contemplating suicide and I constantly asked myself..would anyone miss me if I wasnt there?)
I counselled myself (I am also a trained counsellor now) through it and eventually things improved.
In an ideal world we could wave a magic and all our hurt would disappear. Get the help and counselling that you need, as everyone on here has said, its not going to happen over night and there may be a few things raised that will cause you to take a step backwards, but that is part of the healing process.
Keep updating this thread Hun and let us know how you are doing.
You are in my thoughts.
Kerry-Ann
xx
abz
Gold Member
hey there honey. i hope you are feeling ok. it's a really horrid thing to have happened but hopefully it will be the shock you need to get you on your way. you have done so so well in talking about this and trying to combat it. you can do it!!
come on here and rant every time you feel bad. we'll be here for you.
abz xx
come on here and rant every time you feel bad. we'll be here for you.
abz xx
** Just Jools **
Slow & steady does it!!!!
Hi hun, sorry to hear that. Let's hope it's what was needed to help you get a handle on things once & for all.
Take care. Keep us updated. We're all here for you. x :hug99:
Take care. Keep us updated. We're all here for you. x :hug99:
Forever Starting Over
always!!
I agree with this - the fact that you say 1 piece of etc to me is not bingeing as such and is a normal diet, yet u still feel the need to purge. Yes please try and understand the nutrients/ calories youre own body needs. Its good that you are taking positive steps to take control and some people are never behind it totally, they just manage it in a way that it isnt allowed to become an issue. smaller portion sizes, not bringing "binge worthy" food into the house all helps but i know that if you wanna binge, this could even be on the healthiest cereal. I hope you do continue to gain strength and continue to remember that you can beat it. Did not realise there were any threads about eating dosorders on here so was actually a little surprised when i saw it but im glad its here as the reality shows that so many people deal with eating disorders and just through the responses, there are many here that have bravely managed to control it or have managed to leave it behind. A big hug to everyone who has managed to start or totally take control of an eating disorder.
x
