Slim at heart's weight loss journey!!

Slim at heart

Skinny girls r 4 wimps!!
Well I'm on day 3 & have absolutely no intention of giving this up so thought I should start a diary to keep track of my progress!!

I'm doing the Cambridge Diet SS at the moment on day 3 as I said.

Day 1- quite difficult as I had to find a CDC, make the appointment & get the 'bad news' in that I am 20st 5lb!!! Oh my God I can't believe I just typed that... well there's only one way to go now & that's DOWN!!!
Felt quite hungry on day 1 especially when I got home & had to make a sandwich for my DD who is only 3 & watch her & encourage her to eat it!!!
Thank God she gets all her main meals at the creche!!
Lucky me that I get 4 packets a day as I'm over 5'8, initially I didn't like the taste much but it's growing on me I can tell ye!!
Felt quite irritated in the evening & in a bad mood, had a headache too but took a panadol max for that & it passed.
Went to bed hungry but feeling positive, drank 2.5 litres of water & a peppermint tea!
Had C&M (chicken & Mushroom), Chocolate (yum yum- made in my rocket with loads of ice & about 3/4 pint of water, drank with a straw!! DD was dying for some, her for my choccy drink, me for her sambo he he!! she'll have to get used to Mommy's special drinks!!) & Spicey Oriental today- was great to have something later on before I went to bed!

Day 2- (don't worry, I'm not going to do this for every day just the first week as I think they are crucial & then on a weekly & random basis!)
Very very difficult day, throbbing head (took aulin), feeling dizzy, sooooo hungry thinking about food ALL day, hot & cold spells, sick stomach etc got some great support from here & it kept me going.. honestly if it wasn't for this site I would have given up yesterday!!
Had a cappucino (hot) for brekki & it was BARF, I think that's what made me feel so sick, left me with a bad taste in my mouth all day, chewed loads of gum (I know you're not really supposed to but it really helps me!), split my packs today & made with loads of extra water, had C&M for lunch, loving that one I can tell ye!! Got home still feeling really bad, DD cheered me up though & then I found a link to Icemoose's blog (!!! Well there's my motivation for the rest of my life!!! What a life saviour!! Downed 1.5 litres while reading for an hour & literally turned me around mentally...
Had a Choc mint when I came home & then a Spicey Tomato - both pretty good though ST went all lumpy even though I used my froth maker!!!
Drank around 3.5 litres of water today... trying to build up to 6!!

Day 3 (today)- Well after feeling pretty rotten yesterday I was expecting the worst again today but to be honest it's been grand!! Brought DD for her 3 year check up & she's the size & development of at least a four year old... very pround mammy alert!!!
Had my first brik today (choc) for brekki wasn't great to be honest & of course can't split it or add extra water... very thick & sweet, can see they are handy for being out but it would have to be VERY cold to drink it. Also don't think I'm going to be able to stomach the banana one... well we'll see.
Had a late lunch, wasn't too hungry had a split veg for lunch but not too gone on that either, well it's ok just not GREAT!!
Bought Ketostix this morning & tested 3 times (ha ha new addiction alert!!) first one was ++, second neg & third + for ketosis... so I don't really know what's going on!! Think it's starting to happen though cos though I have been hungry today haven't felt terrible like yesterday & have felt really good & positive all day... haven't done a scrap of work been on the internet all day ha ha ha!! Lucky I'm leaving here next week!!!
Am putting chilli in my soups which makes it taste great, leaves a nice after taste & speeds up your metabolism too!!!
Have drunk 2.5l of water so far today, will try to get another 2 in at home...

Well that's the story so far, I'll be off home soon, evenings & I'm guessing weekends are the hardest but I'm sure I'll make it!

My long term goal is to loose 120lb but I have a couple of short term goals first;

1. 1st weigh in- would love to loose around a stone, am tall & have a lot to loose so I know it's possible!

2. To get through my move back to Wexford (home)- preferably without eating at all but at least without doing too much damage (AAM), leaving old job, starting new job, best friend (best cook ever) coming to stay for a week to give me a hand etc

3. New York- am going to New York on 9th November with my Mum & would love to have lost 3 stone for that (how proud would she be!), how nice would it be not to have to squash into the plane seat or squeeze the belt over my stomach whilst holding my breath in & praying it'll fit!! Also damage control in NYC...

4. Christmas- would love to have 4.5 stone off for Christmas...
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Day 3- evening update... feel so sick & hungry now... don't know how it got so bad all of a sudden... will drink loads of water & hopefully it will pass, still have another pack now but was hoping to keep it for later, maybe a peppermint tea...
Actually feel like vomiting now!
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Awwww Anna - sorry that ur feeling soo bad :(

hope the sick feeling has subsided and ur feeling bit better now :)
Hi Anne
How do you feel now babe?Hope lots better all i can suggest is lots of water,Do you usually drink tea or coffee?If so cutting out the caffen will not help.I carried on drinking coffee and did not get tobad heads.
Loved reading your thread you sound so positive and well orgenised,Have an early night if poss.
My start weight was 20st 10lb so not much diffrent from you but mt shorter.I have lost 7st 4.5lb sofar and started in Jan it can be done keep thinking nice slim thoughts not nasty food thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO hope your feeling better.
love libbie x
Thanks for the replies girls!

Well, I downed around a litre of water, my soup in 2 stages with around an hour and a half between, made with LOTS of water & then a peppermint tea & here I am now ready for bed & feeling like I'm about to burst he he he!!

Just got on with it & took my mind off food as much as possible... I am moving house in 8 days FFS.. like I don't have anything to do to keep me occupied!!!! I'm trying to be organised, like with the weight loss just trying to do my bit every day & hopefully it'll all come together...!!

Goodnight everyone... here's to another night dreaming of Tom Cruise like last night (don't even like him, I mean COME ON sub-conscious at least make it someone I fancy like Johnny Depp or Josh Holloway!!!) commenting on how nice my figure is!!! he he he
It was just getting good too (!) when my bladder woke me up in agony... hope it picks up where it left off tonight!!!
Day 4/3- Well here I am on day 3 up to 2.30 & then into day 4... it's so confusing, can't wait to get past my first week so I can start thinking in weeks rather than days!!!

Was quite tough this morning, felt a bit light headed & very hungry... stomach growling, had a choc brik for brekki & it just didn't do anything for me!!
Don't even want to try the banana ones but will keep them anyway & put them in the freezer to keep as ice-cream!!

Thought the time would never pass until 'lunchtime' but managed to stay strong until 1.00 even though I prefer to wait till 1.30, had half a chicken soup, will have the other half now in half an hour at 3.30...

Went to meet my sister for lunch & had a bottle of sparkling water while she had a lovely looking turkey roll... it looked nice & I had a pang but I really didn't want to eat it, she even apologised for eating in front of me (5.5 months pregnant poor thing!) & asked me if I was starving... I replied that I wasn't (& suprised myself that it was true!!) but I would've loved to have eaten something... as Matt says- psychological hunger!!

Acutally I would have loved a fruit smoothie more!!!

Anyway I went up to the CD centre to get some more packets of choc & choc mint as I really like them & don't plan on having the briks straight anymore except as an ice-cream I put them all in the freezer for another time.

Decided to jump on the scales there too just to give me motivation for a difficult weekend & I have already lost 5.5lb, well I think so, I'm pretty sure I was 20st 5lb on Tuesday (was 20st 6lb on my own scales at home) but Carol had written it down as 20.05 which the girl there had understood to mean 20st .5lb which would mean only 1lb lost... but I'm convinced it was 20st 5lb... and my sis reckons you can already see it coming off my face (ya right- bless her!)... anyway that brings me down to 19st 13.5lb after 3 days of not eating hell!!! Yay for me!!!

Now I know the first 10lb or so is more or less only water weight coming off but I'm happy anyway... so happy I actually went into Argos & bought myself a Kenwood drinks maker which mixes, blends & heats drinks to the perfect temp. (again thanks to Matt!)

Am very hungry again now & have a headache starting but am happy anyway!!!

Got some bars (1 of each to try) & a tub of mix a mousse too but don't plan on having any of them until next week but prefer to have them 'on hand' over the weekend just in case!!! If I have to break it then would prefer it to be within the plan so to speak & not a brown cheese sambo (which is what I really crave!)...

Have had almost 2.5 litres of water so far today & have arranged for DD to go to ex for the weekend so I don't have to cook for her (poor dote!) at least to get over the first weekend...

Will probably update more later from home!
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Good girl Anna you are doing soooo god damn well, just keep at it. i think its a brill incentive to weigh yourself half way through the first week defo when there is a weekend coming up.. 5.5 down already now thats just brilliant!!!!

hope you have a lovely weekend.

Gen xx

ps. i thought the banana tetra's would be disgusting but turned out to be one of my faves!!! try everything once girl!!!
ps can't work how to move my ticker along at ;(
Thanks for the encouragement Gen & thanks for the tip, I will try it so!!
DAY 4- Ok so I got through it OK at the end, couldn't wait to get my new gadget home to try it out... First I had a half a packet of choc with far too much water, made it hot, it was fine, just felt like a watery hot chocolate, so then later I decided to do it with a full packet just to try it out, so used the rest of the previous packet & added half a new one (first time I had a full packet with the correctish amount of water, have been doing halves up to now with loads more water)... it was lovely at first really thick & chocolatey but then got a bit strong & sweet towards the end... nice anyway!

Had half a packet left to have, so had half a tomato soup before I went to bed & it was nice done in the Kenwood though a bit sweet so I added some paprika & found it even sweeter.. then realised I had added SWEET paprika!!!
I only have whole dried chillis & no matter how many times I wash my hands the 'heat' stays on (try rubbing your eyes after that!!!) so that why I dedided to use the paprika instead... what a mistake that was!!!
Anyway, I don't even know if paprika is allowed but can't see why not as it's only ground chillis but hope I haven't ruined everything by having it sweet...
Had 4.5 litres of water today..
DAY 5- Well the dreaded weekend is finally here...
My DD was a bit sick during the night with a cold & cough so didn't get a great sleep but then she made up for it by sleeping till 10.30!!! By the time we were up & dressed it was half eleven so that gave me a head start to the day.

Had half a veg soup with chilli & a little dried garlic (not really supposed to but I find the veg sooo tasteless!) made in my Kenwood, it really is great for the soups & shakes & so handy.

I weighed myself this morning & have now lost 7lb on my scales so that's very encouraging, I really want to get at least 10lb off this first week...

Went out, did a few things & got home to have the other half of my soup (with curry powder- yum!) & I decided to try a mix a mousse, I know I said I wouldn't try anything extra this first week but I reckon better that than something not on the programme..

Well my first attempt was a disaster, with half a packet (left over from last night) of choc, far too much water & using my kenwood, the gelatin didn't mix at all it went all lumpy & I ended up throwing it out!!

Tried again with my bullet this time, 3 tspns of chocmint, less water (200ml) & 1 level tspn of MAM & around three quarters of an hour in the freezer & OH MY GOD!!! WHAT A TREAT, I ACTUALLY FELT LIKE I HAD CHEATED!!! It was lovely even though only half a packet, so nice to have something semi-solid!!!

Anyway, how do I feel today???
Slightly hungry on & off, nothing major, good enough energy (normal I'd say), no headache or anything... BUT I have had a really dodgy stomach since starting this... oh well better that than constipation I guess!!

Even went to the supermarket to buy some chilli flakes, hermasetas & curry powder (weekly shop he he he!) (was supposed to be getting boxes for packing too) & even though the food looked good there & I could imagine meself eating it, I wasn't at all tempted to be honest...

Can't believe I haven't eaten a thing in 5 days now!!! WOW it's a record for greedy old me!!

I am so motivated & happy... I WANT TO BE SLIM!!!

Am rewarding myself with a 'me' day today, DD is with her Dad 'till tomorrow night (great for me that I don't have to cook for her at least the first weekend but of course he doesn't know that... I'm supposed to be packing he he he), so am doing nothing, watching TV, reading, updating my diary (!) & generally relaxing!!!!

Don't feel guilty in the slightest, as a single Mum working full time & with full care of a 3 year old (apart from the very occasional day with her Dad) I don't get much of it... I do miss my little helper around though, how sad am I???

Packing can wait till tomorrow & I've already done lots anyway!!!

Just finding it hard to get all the water in today, I'd say I'll be lucky to make 3 litres...

I thought it might be a good exercise for me to write down why I want to loose weight now at the beginning of my journey so that I can refer back to it in the future if times get tough (& I feel hungry now so want to occupy myself!!!)

1. I want to be healthy- this has to be number 1, even though I am very healthy at the moment I am really a bomb of fat waiting to go off at my size & weight

2. I want to have those extra 9 years with my beautiful daughter- they say being obese can cut 9 years off your life

3. I want more energy- I want to be able to do exciting things with my DD & run around with her

4. I don't want her to be embarrased of me when she is old enough to see me without her rose-coloured glasses- at 3 at the moment I am her idol & hero & the very picture of perfection (most of the time!)

5. I WANT TO BE 'NORMAL'- This could have gone in at number 1 but I didn't want to appear shallow he he he!! I want to be able to buy normal clothes in normal shops, I want to be able to buy normal shoes in normal shops, I don't want to have to worry that I won't fit into a chair anywhere or a seatbelt won't fit me or if there will be enough food for me etc etc

6. I want to attract a mate for life- I know I'm not quite ready for that yet, but when I am I want to attract a decent man that yes will love me for who I am but there has to be an attraction there first right? Then I can let myself go again he he he!!! Only joking!!!

7. I want to be able to buy nice things for myself like jewellery & underwear- I can (& do!) do this now but the choice is limited & I tend to buy something more because it fits (even if it's lovely) than because I LOVE it

8. I want to be sick & for it to not be because I'm fat- let me explain, when you are fat, everything that happens to you happens because you ARE fat.... if you understand... I have never been so low as when I was having an epidural for the birth of my daughter by section & the doctor had to use the special long needle which he didn't like using cos it's so dangerous 'because I was so fat' he kept going on about it & even whispered in my ear to loose weight before I even considered having another child... I was mortified & I know I'm fat but surely that wasn't the time or place to point it out!! Ruined the day for me & I think it had a HUGE impact on my developing serious PND afterwards...

Anyway, these are my reasons so far, I'm sure I'll update the list in the future but this will do for a start!!!
God Anna, I'd like to give that doctor a good kicking for you. what a complete d***khead! Don't these medics learn any people skills during their training, for goodness sake there is a time and a place and when you are about to have an operation/give birth is not it! Love

Ok so my first goal is to get to my first weigh in- I already know I'll make it there but would love to loose around a stone to really get me going- my bosses want to take me out for lunch on Monday to say goodbye & thank you, I said I would love to meet them but wouldn't be eating cos I have a blood test to do in the evening (none of their business!) that will be my first hurdle!!!

Second- I want to make it past my move without eating- easier said than done cos I have someone coming to help me (my best friend) that is an amazing cook & loves cooking beautiful, elaborate & delicious meals for me & needless to say I love eating them, or should I say LOVED!! Also the dificulties of packing & moving & grabbing food 'on the go' but I'll have bars to help me through that... I really DON'T want to eat..

3. Would love to have 3 stone off before NYC on 9th November- am planning on doing AAM the week before going & the week while there so if I can get 10lb off the first week that will leave me with 32lb to loose in 8 weeks which will be 4lb a week... I think I should be able to manage that, I won't be doing an AAM between now & then... that will bring me down to 17st 5lb which I haven't been for around 10 years probably!!!

4. Would love another 1.5 stone off by Christmas after that which would be another 3.5 per week, don't plan to do another AAM between then, that would bring me down to 15st 12lb!!!! That would be only 4st 5lb off goal (around 11st 7lb) then & I will re-evaluate the situation then!!!
God Anna, I'd like to give that doctor a good kicking for you. what a complete d***khead! Don't these medics learn any people skills during their training, for goodness sake there is a time and a place and when you are about to have an operation/give birth is not it! Love

Thanks Barb, it was terrible at the time but so have many other situations been (terrible English!!), he was awful, kept going on about my size etc even the nurses were embarrassed for me... but he was just a pig, also said the nwhole thing was taking far too long & he was missing a golf game!!!

Anyway, I'm a firm beliver in 'what goes around, comes around!!!'
Day 6- Good morning! Feeling pretty good today I have to say.. had a pretty difficult evening yesterday but it was all in my head, I wasn't actually physically hungry though I could have eaten a horse- it was all habit & boredom... had to have a will of iron to get through it but of coarse I did... as I stand at the moment I really can see myself following this through to the bitten end.. God I hope so but it's up to me no one else can do this for me...

I actually only had 3 packets yesterday even though I am supposed to have 4 a day.. I don't know, I just didn't want the fourth one & to be honest I felt like I had cheated a bit by having the moouse, even though I hadn't cheated... strange isn't it??

I ended up having over 3 litres of water yesterday which wasn't great but I feel at least it was over the 'required' amount.

Had a bad night sleep wise, think it's a full moon (could be wrong) & that always effects my sleep patterns but then ended up sleeping till 10.45!!! Don't do that often I can tell you- DD is with her Daddy, even though it felt so strange not having her here, think that's why I slept so badly too... what strange & complex creatures we are!!!

Am now down 10.5lb on my scales at home, can't remember if my official weigh-in is tomorrow or Tuesday, hope it's tomorrow though cos otherwise there is something funny going on with my packs... am a few short, strange I know I haven't been going over any days... is mental confusion a part of this diet too???
Hi Anna,

Your doing very well and your diary is brill reading.

Mental confusing is more to do with establishing a routine on the diet of when to eat and drink water and you could still be going through carb withdrawal...I have read that a woman can take up to 21 days to detox and going by what I went through myself first time round I would think there is some truth in it alright.

I take firbre 89 that I get from my CDC and take it regular for it keeps me regular, you just add a spoonful to your milkshake or cup of tea it is tasteless.

Did you do your measurements from neck, bust, waist, hips, thighs, knees, calves, ankles, upper arms, forearms and wrists....As you will get encouragement seeing how the inches come off as well, along with your before and after photos.

Love Mini xxx
Thanks for that Mini...I have done all my measurements now too so will be able to record losses there aswell!
Day 6 update- well after a seeming good start to the day today it has actually been a really difficult day for me, I've been feeling very hungry & lacking in energy for most of the day, I had a shower & actually had to lie down afterwards cos I felt so bad... very drained... have been almost minute counting between meals till I could get the next one too..

Not sure why this is but then I remembered that I only had 3 packs yesterday instead of the required 4 for my height... I wonder could this have made such a big difference in me today???

Anyway, I had 1 pack left to have & ended up having half a chicken & mushroom & have had a bar now too... well around 3 quarters, I can't actually get the full amount in!! Very heavy & sweet... (toffee)

So I've gone over my allowance for today by a half & might even have another half soup tonight if I feel I need it...

Have drank over 3 litres of water today so far & hopefully will get some more in before bed but plan to get an early night & a good sleep tonight & don't want to be up peeing all night as usual!!