So Miserable :o(

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Prettyfacebut?, 26 January 2008 Social URL.

  1. Prettyfacebut?

    Prettyfacebut? ...body-has-caught-up!!!!

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    Hello my friends in cyberland!
    Feeling really really low....don't even know where it came from....ended the week really tired, in fact exhausted, didn't go to the gym today but kept active decorating.
    Sitting here on my own on a Sat night, avoiding seeing one of my friends as whenever we get together its all about food (not telling her about CD as she will either tell everyone we know or start competing...she has a tendency to copy me....in an extreme way!)
    The tears started then the bad thoughts....fat...forty...single...lonely...fat....no life....weird poo!....want babies...want a relationship...bla bla bla...
    Sticking to CD 99.9% but struggling to eat all my packs and craving food and feel like I have a big secret that I want to share so I can get some encouragement and support but feeling so mentally 'delicate' that I can't cos 1 bit of indifference or 1 negative response would just be too much right now.
    I don't know.....just wish I had someone I could talk this through with, who would listen to my hopes and dreams...and give me a big hug?
    X:cry:
     
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  3. Eileen

    Eileen likes posting.

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    So sorry too hear you are feeling low.Stick with it.Isnt there another friend youcould talk too.
     
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  4. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    We will all listen to your hopes and dreams and send you as many virtual (but very sincere) hugs as you want...:hug99:

    Lacey..xx :D
     
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  5. annie_d

    annie_d Silver Member

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    Oh dear Pretty. That is a sad tale. I am sorry you feel so low. Life is hard sometimes and odd. Why this? Why that? Go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. We are all in this together, remember. x
     
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  6. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    ....and if you just feel the need to have a rant about anything or dump stuff then head over to Late Night Sofa thread and do it as many of us do hun!!

    Lacey..xx
     
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  7. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

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    Hun, that time will come for you, there is someone out there that will share your hopes and dreams, but in the mean time share them with us.

    Doing CD can make us feel isolated, for 4 months I didnt really go out, but I did a lot of posting on here.

    The CD journey has an amazing amount of twists and turns, the lows are very low and the highes are very high, a massive rollercoaster of emotions, you arent alone, a lot of us have been through it.

    Look at how far youve come, 20lbs is not to be sneezed at, its a brilliant loss, and saturdays staying in wont be for ever, I once said a few things to a valued member on here and Ill share it with you.

    You are doing this for you, to make you the person you want to be.

    A few short weeks/months out of your life, and then reap the rewards for years to come.

    Its not always plain sailing, but then if it was easy we wouldnt have met some fab people on the way.

    Stick with it, its worth it, believe me, Ive been there, done it, and am wearing the size 12 t shirt to prove it.

    Im not a dictator, neither am I some wonder person, I just found CD at the right time, and in the right place for me. If I can do it, then you can do it too.

    Love n hugs x
     
  8. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    :grouphugg:

    yeah hang on in there girl, we are all here addicted to this site.
     
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  9. spannerpan

    spannerpan Full Member

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    Aww Pretty I felt so sad reading your post.

    You know it's great that you are tackling one of the issues that bothers you - ie your weight by going on CD. You can lose the weight on the diet and get a good chunk of your self esteem back. Imagine how good you will feel when you reach target, and even after each milestone, like losing a stone, or fitting into that gorgeous dress.

    For the other things, have you thought about counselling? You say you feel lonely - could you do something to get you meeting new people that does not involve food? I don't know - evening classes, exercise classes like Yoga or dancing etc. Main thing is something you enjoy.

    Have you thought about joining a dating club or something for the relationship side of it?

    Please post on here if it helps, people are so nice on here and as we are all dieting we understand what it is like being on CD or similar we support each other.

    Lots of big big hugs.
     
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  10. Prettyfacebut?

    Prettyfacebut? ...body-has-caught-up!!!!

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    Thanks you guys!
    Read back through my post....the weird poo comment is making me smile through my tears!
    When I have felt like this before I have found comfort in food, I always knew that was wrong but I underestimated how much I used it as a filler for lonely, empty feelings like I have now.
    Strange thing is...thinking about it...I never really tasted the food...just used to cram it in almost like I was in a trance?
    Maybe its PMT creeping up on me....I had a TOTM when I started CD and it was good one (if thats possible...no PMT) so maybe this one is a catch up?
    X
     
  11. htpink

    htpink CDC

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    It can be quite lonely when you realise just how much comfort you used to get from food - feels like you've lost your best friend!

    This is what they mean when they say you have to learn to get through tough times without using food!

    Yes you feel like crap at the moment but you definitely will come out the other side stronger! Stick with it and remember all the reasons you have committed to doing this.

    xx
     
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  12. Prettyfacebut?

    Prettyfacebut? ...body-has-caught-up!!!!

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    I do have counselling once a week, started about 9 months ago, its helped me a lot dealing with and getting out of a toxic relationship...stayed in it way too long trying to make it work! Met him online....ignored all the red flags beause I was fed up being single!!! I actually feel good about myself....well value myself more....without trying to sound too 'happy hippy' I am for the first time in my life doing things for me, its all a work in progress, redecorating my flat, changed jobs and doing really well, putting me first instead of everyone else....starting CD!!
    Right now I want to hibernate and then emerge as this together, confident(really confident and not pretending!), slimmer person.
    I know people love me and look up to me and see me as the strong, funny, pretty 'great person to be around' type of gal, but while they all seem to have a life and someone to share it with, I go home alone.
    X
     
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  13. Dutch

    Dutch Goodbye Tum

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    Hi, hope you're feeling a little cheered, you're only 40, I know several people who have met a lovely husband at 41 43 and 45 (I think) and all of them are now happily married and are either pregnant or have little ones, I know you'll feel better soon about everything, Food it a terrible crutch and once you can recognise that's all it is you'll start to see that someone has only put the dimmer switch on the light at the end of the tunnel, it's not for long and I can say I used to be the 'jolly fat friend' and used to cry and cry after a night out being the 'coat holder' when the slow songs came on (showing my age hee hee) You've got lots of cyber friends and I'm sure someone who lives close by could turn into a real friend, I'm up north so no good hee hee, chin up, big hugs, everything is always worse in the evenings too, tomorrow is another day that you'll be lighter and lighter xx
     
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  14. Prettyfacebut?

    Prettyfacebut? ...body-has-caught-up!!!!

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    Oh Dutch, Ah memories! I used to be the coat holder!!Or I would attract the 'resident weirdo' 3foot tall with a comb-over asking me to dance. I would dance with him as well cos I didn't want him to feel bad!!!!
    I think food was the plug to hold all of these feeling in...no plug and its all flooding out.
    Well they do say "better out than in"....that's a good thing I think....I have to deal with this stuff otherwise it will continue to haunt me....and I will look great but still feel like s**t!!!
    X
     
  15. Mary Poppins

    Mary Poppins Gold Member

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    :grouphugg:
    Big hugs from me.
    I know exactly how you feel.
    During the week when I'm at work everything is fine,but sometimes I go all weekend without seeing anyone as all my friends have families and you think to yourself why can't I have all that too!Especially when you have PMT.
    I hope you feel a bit better this morning

    Susanx
     
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  16. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    This is a link to a site that offers friendship as well as dating .... they also do meets all around the country - and I met one of my best friends on one of those meets 3years ago - and we're still really good friends now. Join Midsummer's Eve

    Also consider coming along to one of the MM meets, you couldn't ask to meet nicer people and again I have met some people I hope I can call friends.

    Good luck - and you are doing well. You are tackling the areas in your life you have control over - and hopefully the others will fall into place later. (((HUGS))) xxx
     
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  17. BIG BIRDY

    BIG BIRDY Silver Member

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    :hug99::hug99::hug99:Three big cyber hugs from me! I haven't been 'out' for years. Just meals with some friend or OH, not what I would call out and not very often at all. Then you see people doing what you want and it hurts, and you don't know why it can't be you? Life really sucks at times. I have read everybodies comments and they are really good. I'm going to take up an evening class soon, don't know what, but I am! Also in your quote above, you've already identified some problems which is halfway there to dealing with them. Big hugs from me again.
     
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  19. spannerpan

    spannerpan Full Member

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    Hope you are feeling better today pretty. Sounds to me as if you have done really well over the past few months with the counselling and changing your job, decorating your flat and now sorting out your weight. You've made so many positive steps you should feel really proud of yourself.

    Keep posting on the site and let us know how you are getting on.

    xx
     
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  20. Prettyfacebut?

    Prettyfacebut? ...body-has-caught-up!!!!

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    Out of the darkness :eek:)

    I just want to say a huge THANKS and send love and hugs to everyone who helped me through last night.
    I really am humbled that there are so many people out there who can relate and reach out and are just so damn nice. No judgement, no 'get over it already', just understanding and a friendly ear!
    I am feeling better today, up early and in the gym, the sun is shining...even if it wasn't it still would be (know what I mean!).
    I had a big 'purge' of negative feelings last night and it has given me clarity of all the good things I am doing and all the great things to come...it has also given me the strength to ride the next storm (with all your help!)
    There is a film called 'Pay it Forward', basically, when someone does something nice for you, you then go and do something nice for others and in turn they do something nice for others.
    I will be 'paying it forward' on this site and I hope to return all the good stuff you guys have done for me.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
     
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  21. annie_d

    annie_d Silver Member

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    Hya. Pretty.. Glad you are feeling better today.
    I meant to tell you that i met my husband when i was 40, in a chat room, 8 years ago and i could not be happier.No-one knows what is round the corner. Everyone's turn comes sooner or later!
     
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  22. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    Glad to hear you are feeling better this morning. This site is great for when you need cheering up, congratulating, emphathy, understanding, motivating. The people we have on here are wonderful - and if you are lucky enough to meet them ... even better in person!!

    "Pay it forward" is a great film and one which made me cry. I think schools and colleges should have to show it to pupils once a year and then maybe we'd have a better society???
     
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