Dismiss Notice
Welcome to MiniMins! Be sure to check out our complete listing of diets on the front page including Slimming World, Exante, Weight Watchers, Cambridge Weight Plan, Herbalife, and hundreds more.

Some one-liners for the weekend!

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by Maximus, 3 September 2011 Social URL.

  1. Maximus

    Maximus Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,184
    Likes Received:
    68
    Start Weight:
    17st7lb
    Current Weight:
    10st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st5lb
    Lost(%):
    6st11lb(38.78%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World - The one that works!
    Best ones heard this week!

    Just £3 will buy water and food for a family in Africa. But don't let your heart rule your head. Morrisons are doing 4 Stella for £2-99.


    Geordie bursts into the Benefits office. "I've been ringing 080021730 for 2 bloody days. Why don't you answer the phone man!" Girl replies, "Those are our opening times ya daft bugger."


    Went out to my car last night and there was a 'hoodie' kicking like mad at my boot lid !
    I said "Stop that - You're in there for a reason !" [​IMG]


    I bumped into an old mate today, Chrissy, chrissy one-arm as it goes - after a childhood accident. "Where you off Chris?" I asked him. "Just off to change a lightbulb" he replied. "Wow! that might be tricky" I thought, "Can I help?" "Nah, Steve, I've got the receipt mate!"


    I had a pal who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
    ........He was chuffed to bits!


    Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in!


    A scientific survey was done to see if there was any link between the month of birth, and the likleyhood of becoming a chav later in life. It was suprising to see that most chavs were born in Argos. [​IMG]


    and finally.....are irish jokes still allowed?

    Paddy and Mick were making a cuppa.
    Paddy asks "Why have you got an empty bottle of milk in the fridge there?"
    Mick replies "Its in case someone wants black coffee ya eejit"


    Great weekend everyone;)

    Steve
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. Shrimpy

    Shrimpy Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,120
    Likes Received:
    38
    Start Weight:
    13st6lb
    Current Weight:
    8st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st11lb
    Lost(%):
    4st8lb(34.04%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    The Irish joke made me actually LOL. :)
     
  4. Shirleen

    Shirleen Gold Member

    Posts:
    5,605
    Likes Received:
    64
    Start Weight:
    21st12.5lb
    Current Weight:
    21st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8.5lb(2.77%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I liked the Irish one.

    Incidentally, about disabled toilets, they aren't always disabled, some of them actually work!
     
  5. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

    Posts:
    21,556
    Likes Received:
    95
    Diet:
    Slimming World from home
  6. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

    Posts:
    21,556
    Likes Received:
    95
    Diet:
    Slimming World from home
    I was at the post office, when I see a blonde woman shouting into an envelope. I asked, "What are you doing?" The blonde replied,"Sending a voice mail"
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...