Maximus
Gold Member
Best ones heard this week!
Just £3 will buy water and food for a family in Africa. But don't let your heart rule your head. Morrisons are doing 4 Stella for £2-99.
Geordie bursts into the Benefits office. "I've been ringing 080021730 for 2 bloody days. Why don't you answer the phone man!" Girl replies, "Those are our opening times ya daft bugger."
Went out to my car last night and there was a 'hoodie' kicking like mad at my boot lid !
I said "Stop that - You're in there for a reason !"
I bumped into an old mate today, Chrissy, chrissy one-arm as it goes - after a childhood accident. "Where you off Chris?" I asked him. "Just off to change a lightbulb" he replied. "Wow! that might be tricky" I thought, "Can I help?" "Nah, Steve, I've got the receipt mate!"
I had a pal who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
........He was chuffed to bits!
Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in!
A scientific survey was done to see if there was any link between the month of birth, and the likleyhood of becoming a chav later in life. It was suprising to see that most chavs were born in Argos.
and finally.....are irish jokes still allowed?
Paddy and Mick were making a cuppa.
Paddy asks "Why have you got an empty bottle of milk in the fridge there?"
Mick replies "Its in case someone wants black coffee ya eejit"
Great weekend everyone
Steve
Just £3 will buy water and food for a family in Africa. But don't let your heart rule your head. Morrisons are doing 4 Stella for £2-99.
Geordie bursts into the Benefits office. "I've been ringing 080021730 for 2 bloody days. Why don't you answer the phone man!" Girl replies, "Those are our opening times ya daft bugger."
Went out to my car last night and there was a 'hoodie' kicking like mad at my boot lid !
I said "Stop that - You're in there for a reason !"
I bumped into an old mate today, Chrissy, chrissy one-arm as it goes - after a childhood accident. "Where you off Chris?" I asked him. "Just off to change a lightbulb" he replied. "Wow! that might be tricky" I thought, "Can I help?" "Nah, Steve, I've got the receipt mate!"
I had a pal who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
........He was chuffed to bits!
Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in!
A scientific survey was done to see if there was any link between the month of birth, and the likleyhood of becoming a chav later in life. It was suprising to see that most chavs were born in Argos.
and finally.....are irish jokes still allowed?
Paddy and Mick were making a cuppa.
Paddy asks "Why have you got an empty bottle of milk in the fridge there?"
Mick replies "Its in case someone wants black coffee ya eejit"
Great weekend everyone
Steve
