Squeezes diary week 1

[squeeze86]

lol i hate being lazy, but i hate doing stuff lol. I walk my daughter to nursery in the morning which is all bloody hills, then I come home and sit on my arse until I have to pick her up again at 3 lol. SOOOOO LAAAZZZYY. and its gotta change! I do 20 mins wii fit (which lets face it is hardly hardcore!) about 3 times a week but i am too slack. and being fit and healthy is gonna be so important on maintenance... i wanna start being active. but i cant be arsed lol oops x

 

[Cham Pers]

Its hard to get into excercise but once you do it releases feel good endorphines that you want to keep repeating but you have to give yourself a hard workout to get that feeling. I went to a body attack class which nearly killed me it was circuits and it was fast but afterwards i didnt half feel good in my body and my mind for actually doing it. Even tho i puffed and panted all the way thro and had to keep stopping lol x

 

[Leluna]

know what you mean girls.... i normally drop my little guy to nursery and then pick him up at 12.30 and keep promising myself im gonna do some walking or swimming, but it's hard to get motivated when your all fed up in your head with the weight gain... catch 22 aint it??! But gotta say i did a walk the last two evenings... nothing major just 30mins each night and reckon it gave me that extra 2lbs weightloss overnite... so i think i need to do some exercise every night in order for the podge to move :-( im 41 now and the ol body is tired from yoyo dieting!!!!!!!! have a good one girls!

 

[Cham Pers]

What? You only look about 25yrs??? Not fair :cry

 

[katieg]

There is no way, as cham says you look 41!!

I wouldnt worry to much about the excercise tho as they dont reccomend you do heavy excercise on such a strict diet as your body doesnt have the extra energy to cope with losing some through excercise but a gentle walk will do you good!! Also maybe invest in an abs roller (if like me you cant do sit ups without it) and start doing a few sit ups to tighten those stomach muscles and skin so the excess skin wont be too much trouble!!! I swear by them, even when i was 14.5 stone in 2009 i had a flat stomach and i hope to get that flat stomach back now that ive bought one over here!! I try and do 100-200 sit ups per day on it!! Worth their weight in gold!!

 

[Leluna]

ah guys you're all so nice on here!!!!! tanx!!! don't cry cham... you're in the 10's you CANT cry!!!!!!!!!!!! katie, when i suggested to the pharmacist i do exercise every day she agreed with you and warned me about the energy levels... but if i do a nice relaxin walk with my ipod every night don't reckon i will be too bad!!! will try it for the week and if im banjaxed then i'll pull back!!! still chucklin Cham thinks im 25 yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww!!!

 

[Leluna]

ps.. katie 100-200 sit ups.... im in awe!

 

[katieg]

Lol... it started off a few years ago as just 50 per night then i built it up by 20 per day and at one stage i was doing 300 per day sometimes more if i went to the gym... i would do 300 in the gym then 300 at home as well in the evening.
I bought one here when i came off LT and started with 100 which was tough for the first few days but within a week was up to 200. Because you are on the roller it makes it much easier, trust me!! You dont do a full sit up, just roll forward enough to crunch your abs. 200 usually only takes me 5/6 mins and i do break for a few seconds after every 20.
And i totally agree, walking is really good for you, doesnt require much energy but is very effective!! Thats deffinatly the way to go!! I also like doing to step on the wii, not too hard and not too much energy used up but deffinatly effective!!

 

[squeeze86]

Wow loz... I'm totally shocked!! You really do look in your late twenties! Flippin hell lol. And Cham dunno what ur cryin about!!! You look bloody young too! No way old enough to have an 18 yr old kid!!
Wow Katie that's a lot of sit ups ha ha! I can't do any. The bottom vertebrae of my spine began fusing together when I was about 17 and I get terrible pain... Sit ups are definately out the question. But Cham I know what u mean about the endorphins.... Last year I went to the gym 3 days a week and did circuits, Swiss ball and advanced step... Nearly Friggin killed me but I felt amazing afterwards. It's just finding the motivation! I don't wanna go hardcore,.. I just need to stop being so sedentary! And downright bone idle! X

 

[Leluna]

ah cmon squeeze in my late twenties!!! eh yeah rite i wish!!!!!!!!! been a while since i saw my twenties.... had a double 40th last year with my husband (there's only 17 days between us) and coz we were both born in 1970 we had a seventies party.... absolute scream, i had the abba white platform boots (*****, tell me you girls know who Abba is??) and full seventies outfit... my husband had a seventies jumpsuit and pornstar wig... absolute scream.. everyone came dressed up and it was an absolute howl watchin everyone come thru the door!!! so yep a hell of a few years since ive been in my twenties!!! but tanx for the compliments!!!!!!!!!!! im like you squeeze, hate excercise.. am quite lazy meself... but when the scales were not movin i just thought ok i'll try a walk every nite for 20-30 mins.... see how it goes.... katie fair play to u woman doin those situps, reckon i would need mouth to mouth if i lay on the floor for any exercise.... so a little walk will do me just fine..... cham your a skinnyminny now and dont need any exercise!!!!!!!! but you are right cham, you do get a nice positive release of energy in the brain and feel good about yourself... and god knows its been a long time since i felt good about myself.... so here's to a bit of exercise this week (cmon squeeze) let's go for it girls!!!!!!!

 

[Cham Pers]

Seriously tho Loz i had to big up your profile picture you are NOT 41 im not having that no way!

Sorry squeeze about ur back you poor thing! what about swimming? Nice and gentle on tge body but a good workout too x

 

[Leluna]

ah you're a laugh Cham! really does my ego good this forum!!!!!!!!! hope you guys are havin a good day... im just back from some retail therapy!!! im a shopaholic.... can't stay away from them.... coz i was out all morning, let the ol water intake slip and now im starvin, really need to remind myself to drink lots of water, it's just i hate the stuff... but it does make a big difference on the weightloss so gotta stick with it! have a good day girlies! x

 

[Cham Pers]

People laugh at me how hot was it today? Well here it got up to 24 degrees and i still took a flask with a hot vanilla and coffee shake out with me and 2 bottles if water. I dont care it was yummy and i needed my fix. I think im slightly attached to vanilla and coffee shakes im just always fancying them lol... Hmmm think i go and put the kettle on heehee

 

[squeeze86]

Im gonna reply to you all.. but first i need to just get some sh!t off my chest..

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
today is the first day that i just DESPERATELY want to eat i want to cry!!! i have salivated and obsessed about food all freakin day and i have no idea why. I am starving hungry, next door bloody ordered kebabs and the whole block of flats stinks of kebab meat which is just evil, and im having to literally fight with myself to not eat. Iv not felt this before and have found being 100% so far a bit of a breeze. But today its all just hit me and id murder someone for a bit of food. Luckily my mum is here and shes doing LT too, so we are being strong for each other, but AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH this is hell. The voices in my head are telling me to just bloody give up and that id rather eat nice food and be fat, than be hungry and slim. I KNOW THIS IS JUST EVIL THOUGHTS, and im not gonna let it win, but its taking me all my might to stay focused. *sob sob* i am just praying if i get through today that tomorrow will be back to being strong and finding it a breeze. so iv come on here to whinge for a while and occupy my evil mind for a bit!

ok so now thats out the way... I am gonna reply to my girlies
Loz I really did think you were about 29 ish. So whats a friggin secret?! lol. im 25 and am already going grey and getting wrinkles. I guess i shouldnt smoke :S oops. Yeh we gotta get doing a bit of exercise... walking is actually my LEAST favourite exercise... i think im gonna start doing proper step again.. my best mates goona bring her step round and iv got mine... but shes just had a boobjob and she has to wait until the swelling goes down before she can do it. But an hour 3 times a week of advanced step should do the trick and i really enjoy it. Cham... I would love to go swimming but a) I literally have no money at the moment and b) me and lycra are not friends ha ha. I dont think i could bring myself to wear a swimming costume!!
Cham.. iv never done the vanilla coffee thing... how much coffeedo u put in the shake? and how do you make it? coffee in water first then add mix???? i wanna give it a go!!
hope you girls are doing good and had a nice day, im just trying to get through it. and also am feeling a bit upset about my boobs today... I LOVE my 36H boobs and they have been my safety blanket for years. Iv always felt like im fat... but iv got great boobs ha ha. But i think half the bloody weight i have lost has gone out my norks!! they are all empty and horrible I knew it would come but didnt think it would be this quick. And today iv obsessed about it a little bit. think im gonna have to write this day off and just look forward to tomorrow and hopefully i wont be feelin crappy bout everything.
Take it easy and keep at it lovelies xx

 

[Leluna]

ah squeeze i was like that the whole of last weekend... jeez i struggled to stay on board and on sunday afternoon, i even went up for a lie down, coz i knew i was gonna pic a row with my hubbie or be impatient with the kids... so had to go up and 'regroup' the ol thoughts and came back down a half an hour later.... i just felt so hungry... but i knew i had let myself go too low on water.... so these past few days im pouring the water in to make me feel back on that comfortable 'full' feeling. Seriously tho if you're that bad people on here are having a small amount of chesse or turkey or something... apparently doesn't affect ketosis??? if thats what it takes to pull you through a bad day, then maybe thats the answer for you??? i made chicken wings for my girl today and oh god i had to pull back so much the smell was just unbelievably fab.... but tried to tune out and stay strong... this is hard... but as i posted on here today... it does fly by, cmon girl we are one month in already with the guts of two stone gone???? now that's where you're gonna have to draw inspiration from...... before we know it we will be at our targets and lookin all fab..... stay at it..... if you're gonna break... break with protein!!!! take care xxx

 

[Cham Pers]

Awwwww. Sorry you feel so bad hunny its not a nice feeling is it :-( the trouble is that once that first tiny mouthful goes down the hatch you just cant stop urself. Ive been like a rabid dog uncontrollable frothing at the mouth, just wanting more and more and more so my advice to you is GO TO BED. Tomorro is another day and u can do it! Your the one pulling me back. Ur stronger than me mate so i know u'll be fine. Have a break and go to sleep. Get urself away from it all.

I get my big pint mug pour out a pint of hot water in my blender, one spoonful of coffee, one spoonful of vanilla and 3 sweetners, blended to hell its lush its like a latte and i get about 8-9 coffees from one shake thats how come i drink so much every day ive always got my blender on and my hubbys ears are now sensitive to the blend noise heehee he grits his teeth and closes his eyes coz its getting on his nerves! oh well u get dinner every night too bad x

 

[katieg]

Come on squeeze.... U can get through this rubbish day!!! It's 9pm now so go and run a bath with lots of smelly bubble bath which will mask the kebab smell!!! U know u can do it and it's really not worth it for a moment of madness is it?
You have done amazing so far and look how far u have come?? Everyone has done brilliant!!!
Xxx

 

[jenhen72]

Oh Squeeze, I so admire you! I have caved quite a few times since I started this 2 weeks ago, unlike when I did it last year I was 100% for 4 weeks and lost loads, this time its coming off slow cos I keep picking, its much much harder second time around!!

I seem to be saying every other night start again be 100% tomo, I seriously feel like **** for being so weak willed and caving in! I wish I could just get 2 weeks 100% under my belt even, so I can lose a stone and see/ feel the difference, to spur me on to keep at it, my demons are winning the *******s!! I don't look or feel any different yet...

The only way I seem to be able to stick at it is if Im mega busy all day, Im an artist so I think I need to get back into my painting , as I never think about eating as the hours fly by when im immersed....

Im panicking about the Easter break now, kids break up tomo, I have 2 teenage sons that will be asking me to bake, and make all their fave dinners, weathers warming up, hubby wants to do BBQ's, social family gatherings and all that, and the 'demons' are saying 'you will break' just do it after Easter, but I dont want to, I want to do this now cos I know I will keep stalling and end up being fat through another summer.

I SOO want to look good this year!!

You are an inspiration on here, and one tough cookie not to have even nibbled a bit of ham or cheese, but trust me-DONT DO IT!!!
I do it but the temptation can and has lead to a full blown binge, Cham is so right it can make you like a madman! Then I want to throw up after. Its all too much, and makes you feel worse than the hunger pangs/torture you are going through, knowing you knocked out of ketosis and have to keep restarting, going through all that for another 3 days...

Sorry for the long moan..

Keep going! You will feel better tomorrow, You are close to getting skinny!! xx

 

[squeeze86]

Thankyou everyone!! Randomly all that obsessive thinking about food disappeared as quickly as it came. I think I just MISS food, but I miss being confident more! And that realisation kicked me up the arse. It really is mind over matter and it's all about controlling the thoughts as opposed to controlling the eating. And I know u guys are right... One mouthful and it's a slippery slope. My mum felt the same as I did earlier and she suggested we cook an egg and share it. But I knew that it was a really bad idea. I want to know that no matter what, I can have the power at all times over my compulsion to eat. Cuz I feel like if I open that door even a tiny bit then iv defeated my main objective. I actually bet my mate that I'm going to sonisphere festival with in July, that if I eat from now until the day we leave then I'll give him my £100 spending money that iv saved up since last September. That's how confident that I am of my 100% journey. So hard in these weak moments though!!

Jen I really think u are not giving yourself enough credit for having the strength to do this!! You have dine it before so you know you CAN. and for you to beat the voices that tell you to do it after Easter, u must have the strength to overpower the bad thoughts. I think you need to stop TRYING and just do it. Believe in yourself!! You do have the ability to succeed and by letting yourself be weak, you are sabotaging yourself unnecessarily! I do know how hard it is, but this needs to be an enjoyable and worthwhile experience to work. And if you are ending up in and out if ketosis and probably beating urself up for cheating and feeling sh!t, then it's gonna be doing more harm than good. Come on girl you totally have the ability to take control!! As iv said before on my diary, before this I would compulsively eat a whole Swiss roll for breakfast like a rabid pig cuz I couldn't control myself. I'd force food into me until I wanted to chuck it up from sheer pain cuz I couldn't stop eating. And if I can keep my focus and learn to beat those voices EVERY TIME then so can you. You just have to believe in yourself!!! Get painting, get strong and Don't take your minds sh!t anymore!!! It's like a bully that will put you down and make you weak... But you gotta stand up to that bully and say NO FUK YOU! I AM WORTH MORE THAN THIS AND DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!!! and tell ya self that everytime u put food to your mouth. I had a piece of sweetcorn at my mouth today whilst doing my daughters dinner and had to get quite aggressive with myself to not eat it!!
I believe u can do it, all these girls believe you can do it... So u better had start believing it or else!!! and it's never whinging hun... That's what we are here for xxx

 

[katieg]

Squeeze, you are fab, you really are and doing so well!!! You will be really proud of yourself in the morning for not eating that egg or anything else for that matter!!!

I had to chuckle though at the whole eating until you are sick.....
Before i left for Canada i went to Toby Carvery with my mum brother and best friend (in the uk) and i ate a huge plate of roast dinner with all the trimmings then stuffed my face with pudding afterwards... and my attitude before this diet was always 'im not going to waste it' so even though i was full i still forced down this huge pudding (i think it was a chocolate sundea with fudge bits and stuff). Anyway, we were all stood outside the pub while my mum had a cigerette and i suddenly thought i was actually going to be sick from being so full... but didnt know where the loos were inside the pub so i ended up running around the back and throwing the lot of it up!!!! Oooops :-( Im actually ashamed of that now, that i could put so much food into my body despite my body telling me to stop!!!