Stupid negative people!

Discussion in 'Very Low Calorie Diets' started by Flopster, 2 September 2006 Social URL.

  1. Flopster

    Flopster Got a life thank you!

    Lighter Life
    OK I know other people's reactions have been done to death but I really got a bit of a beating today!

    I took my daughter swimming and was waiting with the other mums as usual. I got loads of comments on my weight loss because I hadn't seen a few of them for three or four weeks (either I haven't been there or they haven't) - lots of compliments on how I look, etc. Then they asked what I was doing so I told them (normally I say calaorie counting if I don't know the people very well as it saves having to defend myself).

    But god they all went off on one - how dangerous it must be to only have 500 calories, they hate shakes (good for them), it is too severe and then what is wrong with weight watchers!

    God why did I bother?
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  3. debz32

    debz32 Gold Member

    kno wot u mean - only my OH & kids know that I'm doin CD cos I really cant be arsed to defend myself to all and sundry.

    Makes me really cross - everyone always has an opion (or 6 !) to share with me.....don't let them get you down - we're all different and only u know wot suits u best - if it's CD then go for it, if WW then do that instead - but for god's sake leave others alone :mad:

    having struggled with Rosemary Conley, WW, calorie counting etc over the last number of years I have decided (after a LOT of research) to give CD a go - and YAY it's working so well dare anyone say that I should stop !

    so there - rant over !
  4. Jackie r

    Jackie r Full Member

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    I'm just back on CD after a three month break, during which time I explored why I chose to do this diet, the research behind it and the risks. I found so many negative views from ill informed, well intentioned people. In the end, after looking at everything I decided to come back and do this for the time it takes to get me to where I want to be.
    Yes there are risks in any diet, the one thing that concerned me most was the loose skin afterwards, and the hair loss. But my hair grew back, I gained some weight back last month (from overeating and drinking with hubby) but the skin started to shrink before that and I loved my new shape.

    Let those who want to rant rant, but you know that deep inside you are winning. After all where do they get off telling astronauts that they are harming themselves by not eating real food!!!
  5. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Slimming World
    Fat Factors - New York Times Magazine!

    One of Atkinson’s most memorable patients was Janet S., a bright, funny 25-year-old who weighed 348 pounds when she finally made her way to U.C.L.A. in 1975. In exchange for agreeing to be hospitalized for three months so scientists could study them, Janet and the other obese research subjects (30 in all) each received a free intestinal bypass. During the three months of presurgical study, the dietitian on the research team calculated how many calories it should take for a 5-foot-6-inch woman like Janet to maintain a weight of 348. They fed her exactly that many calories — no more, no less. She dutifully ate what she was told, and she gained 12 pounds in two weeks — almost a pound a day.
    “I don’t think I’d ever gained that much weight that quickly,” recalled Janet, who asked me not to use her full name because she didn’t want people to know how fat she had once been. The doctors accused her of sneaking snacks into the hospital. “But I told them, ‘I’m gaining weight because you’re feeding me a tremendous amount of food!’ ”
    The experience with Janet was an early inkling that traditional ideas about obesity were incomplete. Researchers and public-health officials have long understood that to maintain a given weight, energy in (calories consumed) must equal energy out (calories expended). But then they learned that genes were important, too, and that for some people, like Janet, this formula was tilted in a direction that led to weight gain. Since the discovery of the first obesity gene in 1994, scientists have found about 50 genes involved in obesity. Some of them determine how individuals lay down fat and metabolize energy stores. Others regulate how much people want to eat in the first place, how they know when they’ve had enough and how likely they are to use up calories through activities ranging from fidgeting to running marathons. People like Janet, who can get fat on very little fuel, may be genetically programmed to survive in harsher environments. When the human species got its start, it was an advantage to be efficient. Today, when food is plentiful, it is a hazard.
    But even as our understanding of genes and behavior has become more refined, some cases still boggle the mind, like identical twins who eat roughly the same and yet have vastly different weights. Now a third wave of obesity researchers are looking for explanations that don’t fall into the relatively easy ones of genetics, overeating or lack of exercise. They are investigating what might seem to be the unlikeliest of culprits: the microorganisms we encounter every day.

    Full story on the link below:

    Fat Factors - New York Times

    If an add comes up click on skip add and the article will be there.
  6. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    There really is a lot of ignorance about VLCD's out there isn't there :(

    That mixed with a little jealousy too?

    As for the gene theory, yep, but loads of variables. I've been doing so much thinking on my holidays (along with browsing a book in the bookstore about how some women do too much thinking :D), but anyway, also come up with some theories about genetic food tolerances and how much pleasure it gives (what kind of buzz it leaves) when some people overeat.

    Nevertheless, I do believe that most people who are overweight do overeat, but perhaps the genes cause some weight gain in the beginning, and it all seems such a hopeless cause that we often overeat because keeping slim seems such an impossible task, why bother?
  7. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

    You know it works and is not dangerous and so do we but others who know nothing about it always think they know it all. Take no notice. My answer was and still is my doctor's pleased I'm doing it and she is.
    Keep it up flopster

    Irene xx
  8. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

    Healthy eating/Food diary
    I'd put this one down to jealousy. You are not 'supposed' to do so well, look so healthy and be happy on a VLCD, it p****es people off that you have the commitment and they don't. I am the first to say I take my hat off to you for doing it. I am cal counting because that fits into my lifestyle best but I would love the results you are getting. However I don't need to run down what you are doing to make me feel better about myself. Ignore the stupid bi****es - you can't help being informed and knowledgable as well as commited and successful! Love and Hugs
  9. Libbie

    Libbie Silver Member

    While doing Cd I have found a lot af negitive people,but I think I may have been one of them once.How can this work without making you ill but it doesand I love it,I tell people that my doctor has oked it and the last time I saw him 6st lighter then the time before he was so pleased with all my blood tests and said I was healthy its been a long time since I have been that.MY hubby has health probs and the doc was only to pleased to agree to let him start CD,
    As it has already been said you will always find negitive people.and I also think a lot of it is jealousy.But as we all know this is hard work but worth it when you see the weight come of
    I say down with negitive people.
    Love to all you positive people what ever weight loss program you are following
    Love Libbie x
  10. Pierce

    Pierce Administrator Staff Member

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    Calorie Counting, Healthy Eating & Exercise
    You should tell them that its a low calorie verion of baby compound.

    If they continue to argue that its unhealthy you should ask them if its unhealthy to feed a baby the same exact thing...

  11. squashedfroggy

    squashedfroggy I love choccy

    Ok - I have to confess that when Louisa26 first said she was going to do cd I felt the same as the mums who have said things to you :rolleyes: All I can say is that is a ignorant reaction as they obviously dont know much about the diet. My opinion has changed completely - so much so that I am doing it myself now.

    So just concentrate on the positive comments they make about the way that you look. You know that cd works - and its your choice to do it, just because they want to do ww instead of cd thats their choice and your perfectly intitled to yours! :)
  12. Flopster

    Flopster Got a life thank you!

    Lighter Life
    Thanks everyone, as soon as I said my GP recommended it (not strictly true but she was delighted to refer me when I asked her to) and that I am monitored every 4 weeks by the GP it took the smug look off their faces.

    It is hard, it is a commitment, it isn't conventional and it is extreme but in so many ways it is also the easiest thing I have ever done - for me it is so much easier than slimming world and weight watchers because I could never find that commitment.

    Now I need to find a way to get over my urge to nibble which has been hounding me for a few days and I will be fine!

    It is so nice to come on here and know that people understand why I went to such extreme measures but also that we can all share in each other's successes without the negative "you will put it all straight back on" type comments.

    Mini, I haven't gone and read that article yet, but, what you have posted has certainly been very interesting reading, thank you.
  13. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

    I have a confession, I was one of those people who was ignorant about VLCD.

    My MIL was the first person I had every seen who had done CD, my first reaction was shock and then a little jealousy crept in too.

    She had been overweight since I had met her 11 yrs ago and now she was stunning.

    I wasnt being nasty in anyway, to me at that time it was drastic and surely dangerous too. I didn't know about the reasoning and the mathmatics behind it.

    I am sure if at that time I had not seen someone in a while then that would have been my reaction to them too.

    I am now a massive CD convert and will lose my weight whilst on CD and follw maintenence to the key. I know its not dangerous, I am thrilled with my results, and my per una jeans!

    I know now that it was ignorance that caused my first reactions, and also jealousy, having struggled with my weight for many years I had never known anyone lose like that without WLS. I wanted to be the first so to speak!

    Because CD is not marketed like SW, WW etc etc then there is a certain tabboo on it, but, and I mean this in a nice way, I dont think these people were being genuinely nasty to you, they may be ignorant and yes jealous too but not nasty and please dont take it as an insult.

    I would take it as a compliment that you went all out to do something with your life, and they will remain ignorant until they choose to do the same.

    Phew! Got on my soap box on that one didnt I!!!!!!!!!!
    I will now leave and close the door quietly!;)

  14. Flopster

    Flopster Got a life thank you!

    Lighter Life
    LOL was just replying to your diary thread Vicky as you were typing this!

    I do think they were being nasty - they were very sneery about it.

    I have always been quite a popular mum in the playground because I am no threat to anyone (although I have to say my popularity nose dived when I started working more or less full time). I genuinely believe that the fat me was no threat to anyone and also a bit of a pushover - I was a people pleaser - probably to compensate.

    Somehow I got the feeling that they don't want me to be on the same playing field as them - it makes them insecure.

    I could be wrong but ...
  15. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

    Hiya Flopster,

    You could be so right, I am very naive sometimes, I like to see the best in people and as I am not a nasty person I sometimes struggle to understand why people are like that, I know its not a bad thing to be nice but maybe I need to toughen up!

    Good on you girl for being honest, I admit that when people ask what Im doing I sometimes say, tell you later or skirt around it because I dont want the reaction that I gave at first!

    Once you have stopped being annoyed then I would feel proud that they are all jealous and have all noticed!!!! Even if it was a in a not very nice way, it means you are looking good!!!!
  16. squashedfroggy

    squashedfroggy I love choccy

    If they dont welcome you back into their little clique then they arent worth it! Its jealousy and you shouldnt feel bad because they are insecure! I dont undertand why they would stop talking to you cos your doing cd - if thats the reason they are really immature!
  17. demon

    demon Cambridge Diet Counsellor

    I have to admit that I've only felt comfortable telling people at work (my family knew) that my weight loss is due to CD. Mainly 'cos I didn't want to be dealing with negative comments - think all of us who've spent years being overweight feel particularly vulnerable at the start of any new diet plan.

    Interestingly since 'coming out' I've seen the initial reaction I was expecting in some faces..........but............and it's a BIG but............whatever they were about to say has been arrested as it's blatently obvious that, hey I'm living proof that consuming under 500 calories for just over 6mths ain't so bad after all :D

    Guess for some people only time will convince them, but really does it matter - after all we're all doing this for US and no one else :cool:
    Mini likes this.
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  19. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    You are very self-aware and switched on!!!! I was just about to post a reply saying:

    - Envy
    - Ignorance about VLCD's
    - Insecurity ie You probably touched a raw nerve within themselves about their own weight!!

    Keep going girl!!!!!
  20. happygal

    happygal Banned

    Hi Ya

    I had exactly the same reaction today when I told my best friend I was gonna do the cambridge diet. She was like "you have gone mad", "You will never stick to it", " You do without food HA HA". I just said to her " Well Im determined to do it so you can laugh and jeer all u want but you just watch me reap the rewards.

    It still really hurts whenever someone starts going on like that though especially when its your best friend!!
  21. lindsaylulu

    lindsaylulu Member

    Hi Flopster

    I just wanted to say how much I understand your post as I too (like many others) have had a similar reaction from friends and family.
    I really thought people would be happy that I'd found something that finally worked for me as I've been fat since I was a toddler.
    I've had a hundred comments of "do you know 98% of people put the weight straight back on when they stop the diet". My answer is always, well I'm going to be one of the 2% that doesn't, I'm not going to "stop the diet" and am taking each day as it comes and changing the way I use food. I don't need it for comfort/stress/anger/upset - SS'ing has made me find other ways to cope. If I put on a bit of weight - I get on the scales, face it and work harder to get rid of it and I'll probably need to do that for the rest of my life, but so be it.
    The other thing that irratates me of late is people saying - ooh you don't want to lose anymore, you'll look ill and you mustn't get down to a size 10, you'll look terrible. When I was a size 18, no one ever said ooh you don't want to put on anymore weight, you don't want to be a size 20 you'll look terrible. That would have been rude - whereas now it appears they think it's perfectly fine to tell me what size clothes I ought to wear and how thin I'm allowed to be!
    I think it's really important to stick two fingers firmly up at negative people who are only trying to make you doubt yourself and sabotage your efforts - DON'T LET THEM!
    (Sorry, rant over!)

    Love and hugs
    chicken on a mission likes this.
  22. Flopster

    Flopster Got a life thank you!

    Lighter Life
    Oh I am proud, I have had a lot of comments the last few days! In fact in all honesty I am more annoyed by the people who DON'T comment than these negative comments - my daughter had a friend round yesterday and the mother came to pick her up and she didn't say a word, I was far more irratated by that than these silly girls - at least they noticed :rolleyes:

    Oh too true! They won't stop talking to me because I am taking CD, it was their superior attitude to me that irritated! The "you will make yourself ill" and "rather you than me" comments! Oh and the prevailing lecture!

    No it doesn't matter and I barely know this group of women! Up until recently I have only told my close family (and then I drip feed info on a need to know basis) and my staff in work (as I thought I may be a nightmare moody and figured they deserved an explanation).

    It was there superior attitude that annoyed me!

    Thanks Isis, I think I am very self aware - I do a lot of work with life coaches and business coaches which gives you a huge amount of awareness about yourself and others.

    You are so right about touching a nerve - the "worst one" yesterday was a woman that was more or less the same size I was a couple of months ago, she was really particularly vile!

    Hi Happygal, you go prove her wrong! This is why this place is so invaluable, there are other like minded people out there who understand about VLCDs and who don't show the ignorance of others. Your head is in exactly the right place, you will do brilliantly!

    Oh tell me about it, so many people have told me I have gone far enough and that I should stop at 100 days but the reality is that I am likely to be a good stone and a half over the "normal BMI" range!

    I have to say I don't know whether I am going to be able to maintain - the prize for so long has been to get thin - I think the concept of living life thin is one of the things that worries me the most.
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