Taz's diary - Need to do this!

[Starlight]

Sorry to hear about your colleague Taz *HUGS*

As you say, not the atmosphere you need just now, I hope tomorrow goes ok.

 

[Taz]

Just got a text from my mate, she said he hung himself last night. She walked past his house last night and the curtains were closed which was unusual and she is now tortured by the thought that he could have been doing it while she walked past. His wife found him aparently

 

[SpaceAngel]

My friends dad hung himself in their garage. His wife found him too. It took her years to get over it. They were very close and she was gutted that he couldn't confide in her. My friend was devastated that he dad had left them like that. She said that when she saw him in the chapel of rest, her had a slight smile on his face, so maybe he is in a better place now.

 

[Taz]

Suicide is the most selfish act someone can do, especially when they allow their loved ones to find them.

 

[SpaceAngel]

I have to say I agree with you. My cousin also committed suicide. He was a herion addict, but he managed to get clean and found himself a lovely girlfriend, a good job and a nice home. Then he and his girlfriend split up. He was handling it really well, but the he didn't turn in for work and his parents went round to his house and found him hanging in the stairwell.

What makes it even worse is that he was their only child and they worshipped him. His mum will never get over it, and their lives will never be the same again.

 

[Taz]

It is such an awful thing to do

 

[rainbow]

Aw Taz, sorry to hear that.
I do agree that its selfish, but I think for someone to go to that length they really don't see an alternative and they must truly believe that their not being there anymore will benefit their loved ones - I would imagine they do it thinking its for the greater good of themselves and loved ones. I know of quite a few people who have killed themselves, a friend of mine from school hung himself after a failed relationship, a boy in my brothers year hung himself after getting into debt, a man my parents knew shot himself in the bath, a man who I used to work with (occasionally) shot himself after his farm was failing and a fiend of a friend shot himself after splitting with his girlfriend. We have quite a high suicide rate around here xxx

 

[mod-karen79]

i don't want to offend anyone but i have to strongly disagree when people say it's a selfish act. when someone takes their own life their mental health is usually suffering somewhat and mentally they're in a place which they can no longer see a way out of. unfortunately sometimes that persons only way out of all the internal suffering is suicide.

i suffer on and off with boughts of depression and anxiety. i also had a nervous breakdown when i was 23, which took over a year to feel anywhere near normal and that feeling of being stuck in a black hole was immense and unbearable, but i'm very greatful that i never felt suicidal... i just existed until it lifted. and although i suffered mentally i can't begin to imagine what it must feel like to get into that state where i felt i had to take my own life. i can only emptathise.

 

[Taz]

Sorry Karen, I do actually agree with you. I say that as I have experienced a fair few suicides where they can be described as nothing but selfish. One example is, the guy across the road split from his partner and left the family home. They had a young baby. One day he parked in the next street so as not to alert her to his presence when she arrived home, let himself into her house and hung himself from the loft so she would find him when she got hom - With their baby! Also many of the suicides we see at work include so awful displays which haunt people for years. I do understand though that many people who chose this path do so privately and in a way that will cause minimal trauma to those aroud them

 

[spooky]

I hope today goes ok for you, Taz. I understand it must be terribly difficult, going into your workplace. I am sure you will get through.

 

[Gemstone]

I hope it all goes well Taz. I know it will be difficult for you and my thoughts are with you. Slept late today so no chance of catching you before work. x

 

[Carolanski]

Hi Taz

Hope today goes as well as it can - sorry to hear about your colleague too. What a nightmare all round.

Thinking of you and sending big hugs

Carol x

 

[Carolanski]

I hope it all goes well Taz. I know it will be difficult for you and my thoughts are with you. Slept late today so no chance of catching you before work. x

Sorry to hijack - how are you bearing up Gem?

Been thinking of you too.

Hugs

Carol x

 

[Taz]

Hijack away Carol! It wasn't too bad today as they changed my job and I ended up only working one train on my own and I saw my manager who was once again fantastic. I am now not back in work until Thursday so I can just relax a little

 

[mod-karen79]

Sorry Karen, I do actually agree with you. I say that as I have experienced a fair few suicides where they can be described as nothing but selfish. One example is, the guy across the road split from his partner and left the family home. They had a young baby. One day he parked in the next street so as not to alert her to his presence when she arrived home, let himself into her house and hung himself from the loft so she would find him when she got hom - With their baby! Also many of the suicides we see at work include so awful displays which haunt people for years. I do understand though that many people who chose this path do so privately and in a way that will cause minimal trauma to those aroud them

i understand where your coming from, but sometimes people are quick to judge and make assumptions about people who have taken their own life. for example, a person who takes their life may have an undiagnosed condition, such as mental health, learning disability or behavioural disorder and they suffer alone as they are too ashamed or don't even realise their thoughts patterns would deemed as abnormal. then when something emotionally significant in their life happens they can't cope and resort to extreme reactions such as self harm, drug/alcohol abuse/addiction, suicide.

...anyway. i hope your work went ok and took your mind off things a little.

i understand that it's a horrible thing to deal with in your job. my dad was a policeman when they used to lay the bodies out on the mortuary slab. he's got some awful stories. the 1st suicide he had to deal with was a man in a train tunnel who's body was in about 20 pieces! he had to collect it all up and lay it out. poor bugger - i'm sure he has post-traumatic depression because of his years as a cop.

 

[Taz]

Yeah unfortunately all the suicides in my job involve collecting the pieces afterwards. I hope I never get one cus I don't like the thought of it. It's bad enough seeing it on the training video's, I don't want one for real!

 

[Charisma]

sorry to ask if youve already said but out of interest what is it you do/?

 

[Taz]

I work on board trains. I used to work the high speeds where 'jumpers' are frequent but I am now on the smaller slower local services

 

[SpaceAngel]

My step-dad works on the trains. He has had to clean up after quite a few jumpers. He has seen them jump too! Not something I would like to witness though.

 

[dietingqueen]

Hi Lovely,

Glad work was quiet for you... great when the managers are understanding

Just wanna say Thinking of you lots of hugs

Nas x