Team 27 - Weight to go team- The CD Returners

[vj]

Oh Trisha, it must be so hard for you, at least you aren't bingeing emotionally. Good luck getting back in focus. Let's hope that gain will go as fast as it came. How far is dd from you?
The party was weird. It was a disco in a scout hut, the birthday girl didn't participate and sat at the food table. The 1st 15 (Autumn birthdays) from her class were invited but 4 turned up, there were 10 children all together but spent most of the time running around outside. 1 hour in they cleared the food, it was 3-5 on the invitation but it ended at 4:30 and the birthday girl left at 4:50, so glad I stayed. Luckily dd's new best friend was there with her mum so we had a good chat.

MsJMC, what are you painting? Is this for your stickers?
I know what you mean about the mirror, it's like photos too when you physically compare yourself with another person in the pic. I like my bathroom mirror because I can see the weight loss from my face but on full length ones there are lumps and bumps. Obviously the shop fitting rooms are worst for the rear view, I just don't need to see the love handles and bra straps. But you're right, mirrors are a wake up call but I like clothes feeling looser the best!

We had such a lovely day at the beach today. We wore wellies, splashed in the sea, made sandcastles, collected seashells and walked along the pier. Dd and dh had ice creams but I enjoyed my apple. We took the camera and had some lovely pics of the girls.
Although I haven't got work, I have that Sunday night feeling because I have so much to do and the evening is flying past. Priority is ironing dd's uniforms for the week and marking some books.

 

[MsJMC]

Morning
Wez , seemed you had such a nice day yesterday at the beach , how far is the beach ?
Mirrors , are the wake up call , i'm looking how far you've come wez , 217 to 165 , with me , i was 214 and i did get to 163 last nov , and things went upside down for me . I jumped on the scales yesterday and I know its totm , I was 205 , so I know things are moving the wrong way . I can really feel the difference .
Trisha , how are things since DD is away ? I know it must feel empty , it will get better its just getting used to the change . Have you heard from her ?
Wez , yes kids birthday partys , you think should I stay , I always see if my daughter settles , she just turned 6 , she had a party end of term , it was a pony party , and 4 did not make it , which was a let down as we was only allowed 12 Max and its costly party . Wez , i have just had all hall stairs plastered and now painting and then the stickers will go on the walls so it breaks them down , they will day about 24 days to get here , ebay coming from abroad . hope i get them . Hows your diet going ? Trisha hows your diet going ? and minivix hope your fat fighting is going well too !
Ok its just 7AM now , kids to sort out and all , will catch up later

 

[trisha]

hello everyone

Well so far so good today, hope I can keep this up, I really want to get back on cd trail and stick to it, as I would like to lose 10 lbs when I go and see dd at half term, which is 5 weeks away, but I would be happy with 7 lbs.

The house seems so empty without her, but hse's doing great, spoken to her a couple of times and had a few texts, so not as bad as I thought, but I don't think its really hit me yet, will do in a couple of weeks, now it seems like she's gone on holiday with her friend and she'll be home in 10 days or so.

dh and I went a long walk yesterday, which was great, and the weather was also good for a change. Got a splitting headache at the moment, hoping its side effect of cd, but more likely to be this cold that I have. There were about 150 kids off school ill today - some with swine flu others not- and loads also had to be sent home.

Wez glad the party went okay but you did right thing staying. its hard having parties so early in the term, when most of the children are just getting to know each other.

jackie, I hate mirrors and also having my photo taken avoid whenever possibe.

minvix, how's is the diet going?

 

[vj]

Msjmc, you are so busy, it'll take your mind off food. The scales ay seem harsh but you've done it before so can again. I know it is not easy. Beach was an hour away but took 2.5 coming home as went scenic route and included 2 toilet stops for dd.
Trisha, you seem to be doing well. Mini goals are a good idea and yours seems so realistic. It's great that dd found time to text you, shows she's missing home too. 150 is alot of kids to have off bet you're hoping you don't get it. Trouble with school is we feel it'll fall apart without us so drag ourselves in feeling like death. At least cd fills you with nutrients to help fight the germs.

Manic day, dropped dd off for her 1st 9-3 day, then went to baby sensory, town to get the shoes for sat night, home for lunch, popped marked homework books into school, picked up dd, took dress to seamstress, put on washing load, feed girls, put girls to bed, cook & eat tea, tesco delivery and roast chicken for tomorrow's lunch. Too tired to wash hair, nearly 10 now so will tumble off to bed and hope baby sleeps through - she has managed a week now.
Only lost 0.5lbs this week, but it is off!

 

[trisha]

hi everyone

sounds like you hada busy day Wez! first full day at school for dd? wow that's a big step, how is she liking school? but you're looking forward to saturday night!

school was okay today, 200 kids off plus quite a few staff, they are dropping like flies. Office staff have to let LEA know each day how many kids/staff are off, I think to see if we can stay open, but don't think there is much danger of us closing last year when there was a winter vomitting bug going around there were more kids/staff off and we didn't close in fact in the 11 years I've been there they only shut once that was last year in the snow and 80% of the children couldn't get in, due to buses etc. diet still going okay and feeling much better the cold I have had seems to have gone, hope I don't get the swine flu that everyone is off with!

 

[vj]

Hey Trisha, yes it was manic. Still haven't got ourselves into a good routine and left 10 mins late today which meant getting caught in busier traffic and adding to stress level. Always relieved when I get to work as only me to think about.
Concerned about dd as they seem to be a few violent characters in her peer group and she came home yesterday with a penny sized red bump caused by being pinched. It;s the 2nd time I have contacted the teacher and it is weird being on this side of the fence. I want to support their policies but I need to know my daughter is being sent to a safe environment.
Hope you are feeling ok. Don't know anyone with swine flu and would be greatly concerned if that sort of absence was happening with us. Not too convinced by treatment either, especially for the children. Fingers crossed you stay well. Are you happier about dd being settled away from home?
Got my dress from seamstress today but too tired to try it on, got home at 5, did chores for family and now (11ish) just finished marking. Thank goodness it is an inset tomorrow. DH has already gone to bed.

 

[minivix]

Ok, I've had a bad week - in every sense of the word... put on 1lb (could have been worse I s'pose). Trying to get back on track but, finding it really tough to keep focused. Fed up being stressed out (money problems, work, home, lack of sleep, everything actually) and DH is threatening to stop funding the diet if I keep picking, which makes me even more stressed out and wanting to pick more!

Re-started SS on Tues but cheated today and ate 90g of belgian choc. Why did I eat the choc? Because I broke our dvd player/speaker system yesterday and had to buy another one on credit and now all our cards are maxed out. The tv doesn't have speakers so without sound it's kind of redundant. I've been trying to cut back wherever possible, everthing that's not necessary has gone, we don't go out, I've even sold lots of things on eBay. We don't have Sky or anything fancy like that anymore. Heck, I've even cancelled life insurance, and reduced pension and child tax fund contributions to the bare minimum. I'm in touch with the right people to try to sort things out however, it's a slow process. We both work (him full-time, I work 20 hours plus am doing an NVQ/2 in Child Development plus an OU degree) but, have recently been told that we'd be better off financially if we were both unemployed and living in rented accommodation - plus more help would be available to us! What is this country coming to?

 

[trisha]

Gosh minivix what a bad week, I thought I was stressed about money, having to fund dd at uni. She's got the loan from gov but its no where near enough - like you say if oh andI were unemployed get lots more, but because I work ,only 25 hours and the pay is rubbish (why do you want to do nvq in childcare? - believe me tme money isn't worth all the hard work) and dh is in work she only gets the minimum which will just about cover her accommodation with about £200 to live on for 12 weeks! Becasue she's doing Law it's a very intense course with more lectures and a bigger work load and they have advised them not to take on part time work, which means that dh and I are going to have to pay about £300 into her account every month, added to this dh has had his wage cut by 10% due to building recession, we will have to do without, which I don't mind, because she comes first, so I have to agree it doesn't seem right that if you were out of work you'd be better off. We no longer get child benefit or child tax credit, but are expected to help fund her through uni. A colleague has a child at nursery and gets this paid for!! makes me sooo mad.

As for diet still struggling one good day one bad day etc, load s of cakes, biscuits and chocs in staff room today aaarrrgghh!!!

Wez, it must be a worry about dd at school, but you know what its like it only takes 1 child, the rest are probably okay.
I know 200+ children off seems like a lot but there are almost 900 in the school and up to know LEA say stay open, some have come back in today they only had colds etc.

 

[MsJMC]

hi trisha I know the feeing of the house being empty and it feel like she has gone on holiday you will enjoy your time with her when she comes back .
Also that will keep you on track for you losing the weight .
Minivix sorry to hear that things are like they are god for them to say that you will be better off if you did that it really shows you what this country is coming too . money really goes no where anymore also food prices are high my dad picked up a few bits for me he got two small packs of bacon 5pounds I thought crist i never pay that lol .
Wes have you tried your dress on yet ? Just think its your reward for losing so much weight i know alot of people give themselfs rewards for losing weight . Think mine will be when i get to goal to buy some new clothes as not brought nothing much for some years yes years lol .
Well team ..... not been much on the pc due to DIY and also getting myself back in the cd house ... it is day 5 today for me just getting over the days as best as i can got a new keyboard so trying to find out why some keys are not working lol . as for my weight i'm back to 201 so working on getting this down now . Wes how is your dieting going ?

 

[vj]

Oh Minivix, that is really tough. At least the support agencies are helping. I'm pt now so at the end of this month I'll find out what my monthly salary will be and will have to adjust accordingly. Only 3 payslips till Christmas and both dd and baby have their birthdays before that. I worry that something major is going to happen and we won't be able to afford to repair, bad enough car service last month on maternity pay.
Trisha, the thing with nursery fees is they only cover 15 hours in term time from the term after their 3rd birthday but when dd was there 8-5 then it was a help but not a huge impact. However my single friend gets all her childcare paid for while she works full time. It is circumstantial but again, not having a job has it's benefits but I need the sanity of meeting others as I was going a bit nuts during maternity leave. Still, £300 is a huge outlay, it's like paying out for some childcare - dreading to see those bills at the end of this month.
MsJMC, how is that painting coming along? Got your stickers up yet?
the ball was last night and my dress was perfect, there was 140 people all dressed up so atmosphere was fab. Only drank while eating but had enough to really enjoy myself and dance the rest of the night away plus won £100 on the raffle, intend saving that for spendies when we go to Butlins at half term.
My diet has been fine but blew it last night with dessert and alcohol and slight hangover this morning meant I needed to have chocolate spread on toast for breakfast. Anyway, back on track again and focussed. When to lovely country park today and dd had the best time playing and climbing while I blew away the cobwebs, dh drove last night so was feeling fine expect for sleep deprivation as bed at 1:30, baby wanting milk at 5 then dd & baby up at 6:30. I stayed in bed till 9!
Do I take it there is no team entry again? When Alipally gets back thenI expect she'll be advertising for a couple of new members as we seem to have lost Daiseydoo and Miss M now.

 

[trisha]

hi everyone, not been for a couple of days as been busy, went to gym saturday morning, then spend rest of day cleaning the house it took ages, then today went to church then for a long walk with dh took a cd bar with me. sts this week, lost a couple of lbs earlier this week but put these back on after a do at work loads of food in staff room again!! hoping this is just water.

Wez sounds like you had a wonderful time at the ball, and a good day at the country park.

Jackie have you finished all your diy? glad the diet is going okay for you, wish I could get through 3 days without picking I was doing okay but then on friday it was international day of languages and languages dept at school out on a hugh buffet lots of pastries breads cheeses ect I tried not to have any but after a stressful morning eventually caved in aarrgghhhh!
off to do the ironing !!

 

[MsJMC]

HI all
trisha sounds lovely that food .. yes i can believe you was fighting it but it took hold of you ... with such nice food . with this diet its amazing how much time you have on your hands as where before eating was such a big part of my life and you know it made me fat .... i'm on day 5 now and when i wake its day 6 ... i know i will lose count of the days soon and i will find there be days ahead of me that i will fight .... but i know that i need new clothes and i can't buy them yet as this just is not the size i want to look at . my diy i have alot of painting guys todo so if your all free next week pop round and i'll get the rollers ready lol
I went to the church yesterday for a spritualist night and today i had a private reading which i thought bits were good ... i have been to many before has anyone been to these ? i hope you all have had a great wkend ... we had the sun out so that was nice cos when on cd i get cold its funny you know ecause its day 5 over for me and since i have been on cd i never got a headache .... maybe my body has been down this route so many times its just used to it now .... ok i better go i'm in sleepy chatter box mode where by i may go on typing until i fall asleep lol night all

 

[trisha]

Hi all. Jackie you have done so well to get back on track I am still nibbling but did better today. I once went to a fortune teller and a lot of the things she said have come true but years later. I wrote down what she said and its only when you look back you can see where !! I know some of it you make fit but other things ?

 

[MsJMC]

hi trisha , day 7 , i am deorating at the moment , i knew i should of not done any today as i am getting stressed and by now would of had food to easy the pain , i just feel drained i feel so much is there is to do and i feel things are going in slow motion . with meduims he hot some things on the head but others he was guessing . i have been to say 6 first when i was 18 and yes you look but and you can see they have come right ... i'll keep going to different ones see if they say the same . He told me i had a child in the spirtworld which they say if you lose a baby or termation they go on to be spirt children and they wait for you up there ... sarey he said its a boy his name is
johnthan ... he also said he is with mum and does not blame me for what happened it was beyound my control thats scarey ....
anyway i better get on , but Trisha should don't put to much pressure on yourself to do 100% days as it will come . hope all is ok

 

[trisha]

Thanks jackie, Well bit the bullet and went to see cdc, and wi confirms weight gain, but after a long chat feel better and determined to get back in contol. I just can't go on picking because once I start it sets me off for the day. you have done sooo well to get to day 7.

 

[MsJMC]

Chatting does help ... its just a nightmare they are not there to hand our dc when ever we need them .... I don't know why but yesterday I was so angry ... its cos I am on CD again , Its like a punishment , but its only one I gave myself , Crist I don't want to feel like that again..... I know I have to come to terms with the diet because its helping me , but it sure feeling hard .... I wish I was one of these people that I just sailed through CD lol
Trisha .... you know your in the right plae , I know it seems hard but what eles can we do but carry on ....
OK lets see how we all do today ok ... plenty of walking for me I do know

 

[minivix]

Thanks for the support guys, I don't know where I'd be without this site to keep me ontrack (probably sat in front of the tv with a pizza, a big bag of Maltesers and a bottle of wine actually). Sorry to report that I've cheated almost everyday this week again however, did manage to lose 2lb. Trying to keep focused, must nail this restart thing, already eaten a white choc cookie this morning so clearly today is not the day! x

 

[MsJMC]

minivix
it will click , just don't beat yourself up , just say its not long till xmas and I want to look great , cos xmas you will have loads of goodies , so you have plenty of head way use it before its too late you don't have far to go now .... its bloody hard I know

 

[trisha]

hi everyone, thanks for the support. minivix know exactly how you feel, but when I cheat I sts or gain! you have done so well to still lose.

So far today have been 100% just had a hot choc shake,and feeling okay. Got a letter today inviting me for interview for the job I applied for - cover supervisor - but just rung up to withdraw, I don't want to be a "babysitter" which is basically what cover supervisors do, in secondary school at any rate - it probably didn't help that last lesson at school today I was in supporting a year 7 pupil and we had a cover supervisor, the pupils were horrendous and thats year 7, and in our school the pupils are normally fairly well behaved!!, I thought to myself I could do without that ! but now I'm wondering if I've done the right thing, as its more money which would be really useful, but it just felt right!. aarrrggghhhh. If I was in a different frame of mind it might have been different, but I'm missing dd sooo much at the moment, I don't think I could handle the pressure of an interview!!

Hope everyone else is still doing okay, Jackie I wish I could sail through cd as well why is it sooo hard?

 

[MsJMC]

Hi Team ...
Trisha , maybe because you are missing your daughter so much its making things harder , yes you say about if you cheat you STS or gain , so we must over ride the feeling of cheating and say , if I do that i'm on a down hill slop to a never ending diet that must end soon . See , I said that so easy , now I must put it into use lol . We must out weigh the negative thoughts and let the postives in if we want to end this by xmas .
I know Trisha you feel so lost without your daughter , but you see you will find it easy as time goes on , my son left home at 10 years old , it took me 3 months to get over it .... I see him from time to time he is now 18 , I look back on living at home with my mum , there was me my two sisters and our BF , yes house full and the dog , well within 3 years we left one by one until the house was empty , but you know I never gave it a thought to think she missed us but her face told a story , even my step dad said your mum does not seem right ..... its part of life change , its not a nice world sometimes . how are you today Trisha .
Where is Wez ? hello , come on out you come from under the table lol .
Minivix , tell me have you been ok ? I know life is not good at the moment , I hope you are able to cope on this diet ?