Terrified of RTM!!

Discussion in 'Route to Management' started by clojo, 4 November 2009.

  1. clojo

    clojo Active Member

    I'm about to start RTM next week and I'm terrified. I just don't trust myself. The other day I kept picking at flakes of cheese from my parents dinner. And thats just flakes of cheese! What the hells going to happen when I'm faced with actual food.
    I'm convinced I'm going to fail and ruin all the hard work I've done so far.
    Mind you, I said that when I started foundation and appart from the cheese flakes (and a strange incident where I licked a piece of garlic bread), I've been completely abstinent.
    AHH :cry:
  2. Jo B

    Jo B Well-Known Member

    Don't worry - what you're going through is completely normal! I was the same, the week that I started RTM I had a complete wig out, ended up phoning my LLC, going for a pop in and not looking forward to it at all. The analogy that my LLC used was that in abstinence it is like being at infant school where you have very little choice and you are told what to do - then in RTM you are effectively jumping straight to 6th form when you have to make your own decisions.
    I found that my first meal (a bit of poached chicken with some cottage cheese) was a completely let down. It wasn't massively exciting and left me wondering what all the fuss was about. I still would have been just as happy staying on the packs for the rest of my life with just an occasional meal out! All very odd.
    My advice would be to stick to the rules the same as you have in abstinence and all will be fine. Just remember what you've been taught and that you are not the same person as you were when you started foundation, you've learned a lot and now you have to put it into practice. It's not always easy but you can do it xx
  3. wooster

    wooster Well-Known Member

    Jo - I had exactly the same anti-climax when I had my first meal. I am now starting to panic a bit about my portion sizes as I've nearly completed a week of RTM. To be honest, abstinence was a breeze compared to this for me as there was not thinking involved. Great analogy about like being at infant school.

    I've now got to put more effort into what I'm eating and when and not go back to the pre-LL way of thinking and behaving around food. Otherwise 6 months of foodpacks and counselling will have been a waste of time for me.

    Clojo - there are some great words of advice on here from people that have gone through the same thoughts, experiences, doubts etc. I am taking on board everything that people have to say and it's certainly making my RTM experience that much easier. It's no walk in the park, but I'm trying to treat it as just another challenge that is there for us to triumph against.
  4. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    love the analogy! its exactly like that.
    good luck and really try and stick to it - i went off about week 7 and regret it now
    daisy x
  5. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel


    I liked the control aspect of abstinence, so I am quite strict with myself in RTM in certain ways and I do log all my food as it makes me feel more secure. I am relaxing slightly more now. Perhaps I am getting used to this eating thing??? Just stick to the plan, and keep your food mood diaries etc. You will find it quite difficult to over eat as you wont really have a proper appetite for some time. Just take it easy and do it one day at a time.

  6. Sean(JSF)

    Sean(JSF) Making it all add up

    Perfectly normal reaction to the challenge that is RTM.

    It's a huge leap mentally but if you stick to the rules throughout RTM you won't go far wrong. Like others I found the restrictions each week somewhat comforting and was possibly too rigid about following them. Trust me by the end of week 12 you'll feel much more relaxed about food generally (possibly more so than ever in your life) - not to say that's the end of our worries though.

    Some great advice on these boards and plenty of people who have been there before - have a read of the many RTM blogs I'm certain they'll help you get through the process.
  7. sasha23

    sasha23 Well-Known Member

    I agree RTM is very scary, because you are going back to food and having struggled with it before you are scared you will fall back into the same trap.

    I had my first meal yesterday..it was a non-refundable restaurant/theatre outing I had booked before starting lighterlife and after checking the menu online decided I would get the baked sea bass..but found that was not on the menu as part of the theatre package. So went for roast chicken..it was thigh and leg in sauce and I picked at it for a while (very salty) but I feel guilty :-( not sure if I have messed it up already
  8. clojo

    clojo Active Member

    Thank you everyone for the advise. It has been so helpful. I'm still very wary but I'm being strict and I've created a routine, which helped when I went into abstinence.
    I'm just enjoying the chewing.
  9. katalena

    katalena Enjoying life!

    Good to hear you are doing well with RTM clojo. I am in week two and I have occasional head wobbles about amount I am eating, portion size and paranoia that I am going to put the weight all back on but my sensible head takes over and I feel in control again!

    I have found posting about these worries on here really helpful. You get some good responses from people but ultimately it is down to us to decide what is right for us, listen to our bodies and trust ourselves. We won't always get it right but if we know why and what to do about it we are one step ahead!

    Good luck with your RTM journey.

    Kat xx

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