The fat is back

I love reading your diary! Hope you are feeling better soon xxx
 
I am so fed up with this bl00dy flu!!!!

I can't believe how long it's been hanging over me and I'm really not impressed! I'm feeling much better, still have a bit of a cough, and a gluey ear. Can't hear anything in my one ear.....really uncomfortable.....and a yucky, humongous cold-sore on my nose!!!


Moan over....well, the flu moan anyway! Felt bloated and really shattered on Thursday (public holiday on Friday just gone, so long weekend for everyone) really hungry....so lunch-time, had a tuna sandwich at the deli near the school. I resisted the both the cream for coffee and the little cookie with the coffee. Gave myself a pat on the back for that......BUT......cooking class in school in the afternoon, the kids made stick flap-jacks.....which I had to have a taster of!!!!:eek:

I was starving by the time I left work.....so what did we have for tea....oh only KFC:eek:......spicy chicken burger, one cheese and prawn ball, a handful of chips and a sweetcorn salad....YUM!!!! I felt really guilty and really yuck afterwards....but I went shopping and bought a funky jacket and belt which helped to get rid of the guilty food feelings!!!!

Friday, we went to the park for the day. We rented a four seater bike and pedalled around....lots of fun and helped to burn off some cals. Lunch on friday was 'Ma la Tang'. Boiled veggies and meatballs with a super-spicy dipping sauce. We went for seafood in the evening, so quite healthy, prawns, mussels, flat-fish and some other things that I don't know how to say in English! (Or in any other language for that matter!)


Yesterday, my noodle-head husband was craving noodles, so we had a beef noodle soup for lunch. I gave more than half of my noodles to hubby, just eating the beef and drinking the soup. I also had a chinese medicine soup to rebuild strength and blood. Very sweet with honey:eek:

I went shopping (this seems to be a bit of a habit for me eh?) while Xiao Zhou took Eiriana to the playground. Bought a new bra, a couple of long sleeve T-Shirt tops, a thin cardi and a nice black shirt....spent loads of money though...i think I should stick to the markets!!!!!

Dinner last night was Beijing hot-pot....boiled veggies, lamb and fish-balls with garlic and sesame oil dipping sauce.

69.9 weigh in this week.....this last couple of kilo's is really taking it's time, but TOTM and quite a lot of food over the past week, so I can't really complain!!!!

Love to you all....
 
Uncertainty, anger, fear, tears, fatigue, disappointment.....not a good week, I'm filling up as I type thinking about the weeks events.....better if I just stop here and wait 'til things make a change for the better...'cos I know that they will......


 
Hope you're doing ok.

Just remember, to truly enjoy the good you have to experience the bad :)
 
Hhhhheeelllllllpppppp

So, my week at a glance.
•The horrid teacher finally left. This in the long run is good for the school and all within, but has left us without a teacher in the interim
•Received a resignation letter from another teacher who has just found out she is pregnant and needs to go home!
•As well as trying to manage three schools, I am also teaching a class.....full-time.
•A parent who works for CNN called and asked me to up school security as he has received several hundred death threats for his coverage of the Tibet situation!
•One of our teachers has been refused an extension visa for China and given until next Monday to leave the country!
•Another teacher is having visa troubles and needs to go to Hong Kong for a couple of days
•My parents-in-law have descended on us as father in law is having some health problems ........ Possibly clots on the brain
• I'm being the usual inhospitable b!tch that I am whenever hubby's friends or family come to stay........ Why am I so horrible?


Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh! Help!!!!!

Can't take much more......so, so tired, stressed and even a teeny bit scared!
 
Hey its no wonder your stressed, can't offer you any advice apart from to take a minute or two for you to get your thoughts together. Things have a habit of sorting themselves out, so hopefully won't be too longs before things start looking up.
 
((cwtches)) i ti cariad!

Paid a poeni, the sh*t hits the fan for a reason. Ultimately you know you'll get through this hard time it's just going to take a lot of energy to get there. Just make sure you look after yourself, your lil one, and the OH and don't be scared to ask for help.

Maybe it's completely unreasonable for me to say this but WOOHOO - you have a healthy BMI (thought you may need reminding).

Is there any chance you can take an hour out and go swimming? Or get a massage? I think you need to just set aside a little time for yourself. I know it seems impossible but an hour or two will help you gather your thoughts and make things a lot more managable.

I bet you aren't a b*tch - you're welsh FFS! lol.

Keep your chin up pretty lady - i'm warning you! I'm from ponty and you KNOW what that means *gets our knuckle dusters*

Caru ti lots xxxx
 
Oh Paula, big hugs :hug99:

thinking of you lots at this very difficult time

You are a strong woman, and don't be afraid to admit to being a little scared, it happens to the best of us, and for a lot lessers things than you have thrown at you at the moment.

You will get through this, just hang in there

lots of love x
 
((Paula))

Sounds enough to make even the strongest of us have a meltdown hun, I know it's difficult if you've got people at home so you can't even wind down when you get home.
Trying to get some 'me' time for yourself sounds like an excellent idea.

Hope things improve for you soon.
xx
 
Hey Paula,

Please dont' be scared.... you are suffering with stress I think. I don't know what to say so I@ll just send hugs and ask you to take things minute by minute for now.

xx
 
oh Paula ~

I've not been on for a few days and have had a bit of a bad week.

Things really seem to be in melt-down for you at the minute and that will be creating copious amounts of stress. Remember that all negatives eventually turn into positives. It can and will get better.

If you want to pm feel free. I'm flying to China on Monday, and at the moment am expecting to be in Beijing from Friday (I think). If you are up to meeting us and letting your hair down a little let me know - but completely understandable if you don't

I wish I could do something to help.

:hugs:
 
*hugs*

I know I've not posted on your diary before, but I just finished reading it, cover to cover as they say. I must say you are a truly inspirational person. You're obviously going through a very stressful time at the moment; don't beat yourself up about how you feel towards others, not feeling hospitable enough, etc....stress does that to people. What's important is that you begin to feel better about yourself so then you can deal with all the many things that happen to be going on around you at the moment. You should be very positive about the person you are...you're a good person, you have a loving (and very beautiful, inside and out) family, you are very good at what you do, you provide much inspiration to more people than you probably realise, I'm guessing the kids and parents love you where you work (even if some of the women are jealous while their men are around ;)), you are obviously highly respected. With so much to contend with, you're allowed to have you're moments...try to get some "me" time (quality family time counts, because family is sooo important). You'll be fine...things have a strange way of working out in the long term. It's a bit like that teacher that left....like you said that's better in the long term....it's just now it's more difficult. Most things are like that, as in, they get better with time.

V
 
I am such a hypocritical *****! Why do I say, do and think the way I do? I spend my whole time preaching, encouraging virtuous behaviour and language. Gosh, I even make my living out of that as a Montessorian, but whenever hubby's family come to stay, I become the worlds nastiest witch. The things I say, my moods, my body language...... my whole demeanour is that of a witch, witch, witch.


I know I must make them feel so unwelcome, and I know that they must wonder why on earth Xiao Zhou is with me. Xiao Zhou knows and expects these moods that I have whenever we're around his family, he is so amazing and always forgives me, or just ignores me! Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!

That was all written and saved a couple of days ago.......I'm feeling much, much better than I was, a lot more positive.... Or maybe is it 'I don't give a fcuk!'? One or the other, my mood has lifted! Thank you to everyone who dropped by offering support and kind words, just knowing that there are people out there who are listening, nodding their head and knowing that things will work out for the best! Thank you, thank you, thank you!


Om!

And now onto moaning about something else.....
My back is a little sore, went to yoga with Hilary for the first time in about a year and a half last week. I felt sooo amazing, I was able to do so many asanas that I never thought were possible before! Yeah me! However, I think the weeks events put a few stress knots in my back, one of them about the size of a tennis ball, and yoga this week wasn't so pleasurable. Went for a massage and cupping last night. Really painful, but good pain if you know what I mean! Still a little sore today, and several really big, purple bruises from the cupping, but much, much better.

Had my hair dyed and cut again at the weekend. Had my fringe cut really short 'Audrey Hepburn' style, or so I thought.... Hubby reminded me that Jim Carrey has a similar 'do' in Dumb and Dumber!!!!!!


And now my weight........the weeks events paid their toll. Eating in the presidential lounge of five star hotels ( oh yes I did!) have paid their toll so a gain this week of 1.1kgs. 71 kgs, no longer in the tens! This last stone is much much harder than any of the other six that have gone before......when I first started on CD, I'd see people at my weight/BMI and rant about how lucky they were and why on earth were they panicking/dieting, they looked/were fine! I'm now one of those people that I was so obviously jealous of....... and bugger me, it's hard!



Bleurghhhhhh.....one and a half weeks to go 'til my two week holiday........ommmmmmmmm!
 
I'm glad you're feeling better!

Just wanted to add that I thought I was the only one who was a complete ***** to the in laws! I could have posted that bit myself!

Why do we do it?! xx
 
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