The last of the Mohicans

[enlightenme2]

And now CANNOT sleep. I know I was working on budget spending reports before going to bed... Should avoid that in the evenings, no, should avoid at ALL times!
Maybe it's the moon as well - just so bright - nah it's the budget and French accounting laws and social taxes... Makes my stomach churn
Just had a hot tea - hope that helps a little... Nothing worse than watching the numbers on the clock turn and drifting to sleep 30mns before alarm clock chimes!

 

[AllYours]

I find I need so much less sleep when low carbing, I can wake up at 4am full of energy... flagging a bit by 8am though.

 

[enlightenme2]

I find I need so much less sleep when low carbing, I can wake up at 4am full of energy... flagging a bit by 8am though.

Exactly! flagging is what describes me today - and it's just started... plus it's not like we have much in the way of food to sustain such a looooong period of time until bedtime! ugh

 

[sybersadie]

I'm finding this diet is making me more alert overall, so I have been trying to wind down with a bath, sleep tea and a trashy novel before bed rather than work in order to lul myself to sleep

 

[enlightenme2]

Ah ok, well will keep that in mind! Love the trashy novel bit! - yeah work emails and what-nots is never a good idea anyway.
ATM I'm cold and my stomach is acting weird - too many curries?

 

[enlightenme2]

ok, so TOM is here...was wondering why I was having weird cravings (no caving in though) - and why I'm tired as well. It was quite a long day and I feel neither here nor there about curry. Had a bar for lunch and might have a shepherd's pie and another bar tonight. I'm restless, yet tired and I'm trying not to give into spending money even though some sale mail still managed to wind up in my inbox...

 

[Darcy15]

Well done for not caving

Hope you have a better nights sleep tonight

 

[sybersadie]

Hope you slept better last night.

Stay strong today - cravings will pass

 

[enlightenme2]

Slept better.. Went to sneak a peek at my weight this am. Gained 1.5lbs!!! Now I'm REALLY sulking.
I've been 100% too and this weight not moving downwards is truly maddening!

 

[smidge87]

Put it down to TOTM stick with it!!

 

[Darcy15]

Stay off the scales - it does things to your mind!

....I 'gained' 3 lbs the other day

Very unlikely on 600 calories!!

Stick to once a week weighing

 

[enlightenme2]

will do my best! Second week in a row that my husband leaves the scales out in the bathroom. He weighs every Sunday, and by the time he leaves Monday morning - poof they've disappeared. this stems from a huge fight we had about scale hopping and how it was defining my moods - anyway, he's right, because it's the second week in a row where i've weighed when I know darn well i shouldn't and it's made me rebellious all day... not go with the flow things will even out... it just activated the little taunting devils in my head... so much so that I had a bar AFTER having had my 3 packs today.
All in all, I'm just upset about how a machine is defining how I'm going to feel, so

*NOTE to self*

STAY OFF THE SCALES
unless it's weigh-in day​

 

[smidge87]

All in all, I'm just upset about how a machine is defining how I'm going to feel

Liking this! I think we should all stop allowing this!

 

[enlightenme2]

Hit a speed bump last night - feeling sorry and mad about the weight thing and TOM.
Well I have NO valid excuse but I have to be honest even if I'm feeling despondent about which isn't good.
All in all I had 4 packs - 3 slices of ham, 1 slice of cheese and a 1/4 of whole wheat baguette.

It's my story with the scales - some people can weigh in daily, but for me it severely affects my psyche, esp if they show a gain - I know it yet I'm drawn to it like some stupid magnet. I'm upset that I let it decide how i should feel as I didn't feel any heavier when I woke up yesterday!?!

Anyway, my daughter took the scales away (not that i was going to jump on them today - that's for sure!)
so today is a new day and it will be a 100% one! I have 10 days until I go to Greece so I'm aiming to make the best of it

 

[enlightenme2]

Things at work are also bothering me if I'm being truly honest and it's no one's doing but my own!
I should be in Cali right now, but I've let my weight issues get in the way, and it's the second year in a row I'm missing out...
And being honest for a minute here - I think i've tried to buy into the excuses I gave my partners - the kids (neither has any), the work here (it's not like they don't have any and I really should be there helping them out). It's too late for this year, but I made a promise to myself I wouldn't cop out next year, plus my kids are no longer toddlers - they can do without me for 2 weeks, it's not like they don't already!
So that's my big pot of sulk, self resentment and general upset that's been brewing underneath!

 

[sybersadie]

Glad the scales have disappeared Weight fluctuates and TOM is generally not a good time to show a loss dieting or not.

Isn't it weird how we let weight and the number on the scale get in the way of things and drive our mental state, which then has a knock on effect on other aspects of our lives.

I can relate to your "big pot of sulk" - I've let my weight issue get in the way of work things ,and used family as an excuse rather than face the truth for so long I almost convinced myself of the truth.

BUT you're doing something about the weight issues right now A little extra one day will be fine, just get back on track with three packs today.

Have a good day

 

[enlightenme2]

thank you Sadie, I know it in my brain... And I'm trying to be brave about it - honest as well. But sometimes it's too hard to do and I just want to quit.
Not today though - I won't let it

 

[sybersadie]

Atta girl, you stay strong

 

[smidge87]

Must be something in the air as a few of us have been sulking!!

Onwards and downwards to better things and no more excuses to say no

 

[enlightenme2]

Have been 100% so far and will continue that way. Have one meal left as I had a bar very soon after lunch - not hungry really bored rather... And also busy taking kids to their activities... (It's my designated car pool day I try to honor) We get home late and they usually have a snack in the car after school - don't want to feel left out... I've already had 4l of water. 3 400ml cups of coffee and a Coke Zero. All that's allowed now is my last curry.