The Rest of My Fabulous Life Challenge

[Barb]

Horrible day yesterday. Started with a call from my Dad to say my Mum couldn't breath. After Gp, hosp etc.. it seems she is in heart failure and her lungs have fluid on them. She has tablets to help but it was a very heavy day and I just felt sad, exhausted and worried by the end of it. Never thought about the' diet' plan all day. Today I just feel very weary. My mood has not been great this week and so I suppose it is not surprising that i feel like this.

Not in the mood, even for my diary, so I will catch up again when my head and heart feels equal to it.

 

[KD]

Horrible day yesterday. Started with a call from my Dad to say my Mum couldn't breath. After Gp, hosp etc.. it seems she is in heart failure and her lungs have fluid on them. She has tablets to help but it was a very heavy day and I just felt sad, exhausted and worried by the end of it.

Aw Barb:hug99:

Never thought about the' diet' plan all day.

Today I just feel very weary. My mood has not been great this week and so I suppose it is not surprising that i feel like this.

You take care friend. No need to delve into the biscuit tin as you are past that now. Find good ways of loving you.

No need to reply...just take it easy and do something nice for Barb today.

 

[Russiandoll]

Sorry to hear about your mum, Barb. Hope she's comfortable and will be better soon.

Take care of yourself xx

 

[IreneH]

Sorry to hear the sad news about your Mum. I hope she recovers quickly.

Irene xx

 

[Barb]

Thanks everyone, I feel a bit brighter today, although I am not sleeping well so feel very tired.

Mum seemed to be breathing more easily yesterday but Dad looks ill with worry. I know that at 86 and 83 they have done well to keep going so well but it is hard to watch them changing.

Dietwise, no I haven't disappeared into the biccie tin; I just haven't been thinking about it at all so weigh in will be very interesting this week!

 

[KD]

Mum seemed to be breathing more easily yesterday but Dad looks ill with worry. I know that at 86 and 83 they have done well to keep going so well but it is hard to watch them changing.

Oh, it must be Glad to hear your Mum is more comfortable though.

Dietwise, no I haven't disappeared into the biccie tin; I just haven't been thinking about it at all so weigh in will be very interesting this week!

Whilst you really don't need the pressure of dieting at this time, this will be a good test to see if that head is really in the right place.

Awful stress...yet not diving into the biccie...and doing this without conscious effort is a major step forward:clap:

If weigh in is disappointing, it really doesn't matter, so no beating yourself up eh, but this is the rest of your life with all the ups and downs it slings at you. Hopefully you aren't so much 'on a diet' as making good choices (when you can). You can do that forever...not just on diet days. When the going gets tough and when things are going well.

Not sure I'm explaining myself well here Certainly don't want to put pressure on you. Better go before I put my size 9 boots in it

Take care Barb. Thinking of you.

 

[Barb]

Yes you are KD, loud and clear and this time I DO know what you mean. I'm not stressing over the weigh in either. I know I have grabbed less good food ' on the run' but I also know that I haven't been eating for comfort anything like as much as I used to. So, I have to be heading in the right direction. Wish I felt better though. I just feel sooooooo low.

 

[KD]

Yes you are KD, loud and clear and this time I DO know what you mean. I'm not stressing over the weigh in either. I know I have grabbed less good food ' on the run' but I also know that I haven't been eating for comfort anything like as much as I used to.

That's brilliant Barb. You are doing what you set out to do. The title of this thread is 'The Rest of My Life Challenge',, not 'The Rest of my life Challenge...but only when things go smoothly'

So, I have to be heading in the right direction.

Oh you are. Dead proud of you mate.

Wish I felt better though. I just feel sooooooo low.

:hug99: It's a tough time for you. I guess that you have choices in this too. Okay...certainly not time to party, but you still have choices over how you feel however impossible that might seem.

You could feel sad, and wallow in the sadness. You could feel sad and be at peace with it...knowing that it won't last forever and just accepting that this is one of those rough times and just relax into it rather than fighting it. That's what I try to do when I get really low. Just try to accept that I'm going through the dark tunnel and I will come out of it.

You could try to find the good things in the situation. Your Mum is feeling a little better. Your parents obviously love each other and you, which is so comforting. They've done so well and you've helped them through it.

Any chance of doing something for Barb now? Can you get out with DH and talk about something completely different for a while? Give yourself some space to recharge the ol' batteries?

 

[Barb]

Karion, what you say makes sense but I find acceptance of the inevitable so impossible at the moment. I don't know why, I am usually quite a level headed bod, but I am in a strange place right now.

Your support and love really helps. I wish you were just down the road, I'd nip round and get a real hug.

My brother just phoned, very sympathetic (which made me cry) but 180 miles away so not much help. It was good to talk though, trouble is now I've started crying i could do it all day! I must get on and do some jobs and stop wallowing. I am sure I am made of sterner stuff than this.

Thank you for caring, it is a huge comfort.

Love

 

[KD]

Karion, what you say makes sense but I find acceptance of the inevitable so impossible at the moment.

It would be. You don't have to think about the inevitable at the moment though, just accept how you feel now.

I wish you were just down the road, I'd nip round and get a real hug.

And I'd love to give it. I'm sending massive ones, feel them anyway.

It was good to talk though, trouble is now I've started crying i could do it all day! I must get on and do some jobs and stop wallowing.

It really is okay to feel like this, but it's all so tiring and emotionally draining isn't it.

What about setting a timer for yourself? You can wallow for another 20 minutes, then will try to get on and think of something else.

You may feel that it's all so hopeless right now, but I will hold to the hope for you until you until you are ready to take it back.

 

[Russiandoll]

There's a fine balance to be struck between 'being strong' and allowing ourselves space to feel natural emotions. You're worried about your parents - that's emotionally draining and so you need to acknowledge that and be kind to youself.

You're a caring, strong woman - but sensitive too. Give credit to both sides of your wonderful character.

Big hugs

 

[Barb]

Thanks my two, where would I be without you!

I pulled myself together and turfed out a kitchen cupboard that had been begging for it for ages! Very satisfying job to do and I did feel better for it. Then OH and i took Ozzie down to the seafront for a walk - very windy, the sea at it's most dramatic with big waves crashing on the shore.
Reminded me how good it is to be able to go and see the sea, and even on a rough day, feel calmed by it. Puffed out by the time we walked back up to the main road but I do feel better for it.

Cooking for 8 tonight so best get organised.

Love

 

[Barb]

A better mood now but still very worried about Mum. Took her to the GP yesterday and she is having meds altered so we shall see.

Dietwise, I need to set a target; reading Pandora's thread made me think that I need a little (not too much) structure to make sure I see progress. So I will aim for a loss of 12lbs by the 20th of feb - thats five weeks away and I have already lost 3.4 so that will give me 8.6lbs to go.

I need to get focussed and go for it, with Mum as she is I need to be stronger and fitter ASAP!

 

[pandora]

Glad i inspired you Barb xx
You have set a good, achievable target, not too stressful but something to aim to. Mike told me one of the reasons i had put weight back on was because once i reached my initial goal i didn't then set myself another one, IE to stay at that weight untill X date & so on.
Hope your mum continues to improve, its such a worry & you feel so helpless to do anything don't you.
laa
xx

 

[Barb]

Thanks Cheryl, I think my goal is about right. You are right about the worry with my Mum, I do feel so helpless. She seems such a tiny little person now and yet she is still such an amazing character. She may be 86 but she is still so full of life, it's just her heart is letting her down.

Getting old is horrible but as my Mum says, the alternative isn't great either!

 

[Barb]

So weigh in day, felt a bit worried, hardly been angelic this week. Expected to see 1 or 2 on, hoped to STS and actually lost .4lb!!!!

I know it's not a huge amount but is is going in the right direction and in view of the week I've had I see it as miraculous!

Now for a better week this week. Really would like to see 1.2 off which would give me 5lbs in 3 weeks, which is the sort of loss I am aiming for. Little and often will get me there in the end!

 

[Russiandoll]

A loss is a loss is a loss

All the little losses added to the bigger ones add up to one thing ... success!
Well done - you've had a very stressful time and still kept your head. Amazing!!

 

[Barb]

Thanks RD. I can't help but feel a bit jammy, I have had 3 meals out this week and quite a few of the never ending Christmas chocs!

Still, it shows, I guess, that I am learning something. I am clearly not going as far off the raisl as I once did.
I am hopeful of getting there in this slow but sure way. I confess last night i was thinking in terms of joining SW/WW/RC and anything else I could think of, I was so convinced I had gained!

 

[Russiandoll]

It's difficult actually believing we might actually have control for ourselves WITHOUT any outside influence isn't it. For so long, we drum it into our own heads that it's 'impossible' to lose weight without some organisation holding our hands. You've proved that it IS possible.

I still have a way to go in realising I have the power - but I WILL get there

 

[Barb]

Yes Debbie - YOU WILL! You sound so much more like you are the one in CONTROL and thats what you need to feel. This is your life, your destiny, you get to choose. It has taken me so long (about 30 years, give or take) to get that into my head.
It is a good feeling -to believe in yourself again, isn't it?

Love