The Road from Chunky to Funky

[Funky_Munky]

Doesn't sound loads at all and it's all good stuff too Glad to see you've put a couple bad days behind you and moved on. You'll be back on track come WI!

Thanks Emmy how are you getting on at the moment? Hope youre back to losing ways. Im not gonner beat myself up about the last few days off track. In the past i would have whereas now i just try to see what went wrong and learn from it. I have been quite disorganised and havent always had a good choice of sw friendly foods in the house. So this week after getting paid ive bought loads of basics in. So fingers crossed ill find it easier to stick with.

Today has been a much less stessful day in work despite the early start. I think its helped our main manager hasnt been in and its been a much more relaxed atmosphere in the office without him. Hes really strict but the funny thing is more work gets done when hes not there and everyone is less stressed out!! Less stress means im less likely to reach for the chocolate! Has been very productive sw day too. Went home and bargain and got loads of cheap basics like mug shots and even some of the ryvita wholemeal crackerbread you can have six of. Ive never in my whole life been able to find these so got quite excited when i spotted them!! Ive done a 45 min walk along river and had a really good food day. Still have a hea and b left and hardly touched my syns which makes a change. Ive even been all organised and made my salad for lunch tomorrow. Ooohhh im feeling very smug!!

 

[Funky_Munky]

Todays food - green day
Breakfast - two boiled eggs four original ryvita heb 2oz original dairylea hea (yes i did weigh it out at 5am this morning!) tea with two sugars and milk (4 syns)
Snack - large fruit salad (grapes apple pineapple melon kiwi)
Lunch - cous cous with tomato pepper cucumber toffee muller light
Snack - banana
Tea - home made sw wedges baked beans egg fried in fry light cup of tea as above 4 syns
Lots of nas and a small bottle of pepsi max

Am trying to work out if i can stomach more ryvita and dairylea before an early night. Im not really hungry but feel like i should have my hex cos i can! Not really a habit i wanna get into!

 

[Funky_Munky]

Hello all didnt have my a and b in the end last night so was thinking i could count my milk as a hea meaning i only had 4syns yesterday. Would that work? Am feeling little stressed at the moment and tempted gorge on rubbish. My tea is cooking tho so ill will resist till after that. Must pretend i cannot see husband gorging on pringles!!!

 

[Funky_Munky]

Ok so yesterday was on plan - Green day
Breakfast - two boiled eggs, ryvita and dairylea HEA/B, milk HEA, 2 syns sugar in tea
Lunch - Pasta salad, cherry muller light
Tea - SW chips, marrowfat peas, cod in batter HEB + 8 syns
Snacks - Large Fruit Salad, Banana, two pringles 2 syns, diet 7up, no sugar squash

Today has not been so good. I have been on plan with my meals but made my OH choccie cakes, and licked the spoon all through making them. Plus I've just had one :cry:. It doesn't sound too bad but its taken me over my syns already. I'm just getting a bit annoyed with myself TBH. Since deciding to start I don't think I've actually done a full week 'on plan'. I'm trying my best to not put too much pressure on myself and lose the weight gradually by making sensible changes to my diet and seeing SW as a long term thing. But I'm just wondering where is the line between doing this and just p**sing about the whole time? I've tried not to weigh myself too much cos in the past that has led to unhealthy habits on my part. I'm wondering if I do need a weekly weigh in to keep up my motivation. This in turn is making me wonder if I should go back to class. I think it would make me more accountable. I'm just wondering how I will feel back in that environment again. Last time I didn't like having to talk in front of group when I hadn't lost and I'm not sure I would enjoy it. :sigh: I'm not sure what to do at the moment.

 

[EmmyLou30]

I think I'd have demolished more than one cake and a bit of a spoon lick I found going back to class helped me when I knew was approaching a bit of a levelling out period after losing 3 stone. I am struggling at the moment and it's not nice having to tell the class why you've gained but it's all that's keeping me from saying 'sod it, I'll just wait till my body sorts itself out and then I'll try again' in which time I'd have porked it all back on. Maybe give it a go for a 6 week countdown and see how you feel after that?

 

[Emmaline]

Hi Funky_Munky, Just read thro' all of your diary and I can tell you that your continual mention of "I'm not putting pressure on myself" is not at all true!...
That is why you find it soo difficult to keep to plan because in actual fact you are continually berating yourself about what to eat, when to eat it and what will you eat next...

My instant remedy is to take a very deep breath, relax and go one step at a time with a much better attitude. Don't make each day such a trial and try to enjoy and savour what you are eating. Eat slowly and keep in mind that this is not a race but a total life style that you will need to adopt for the forseeable future.

As you get older the harder it will be to lose weight so make the most of it now....

Take care and all the very best to you....

 

[Funky_Munky]

Hi Funky_Munky, Just read thro' all of your diary and I can tell you that your continual mention of "I'm not putting pressure on myself" is not at all true!...
That is why you find it soo difficult to keep to plan because in actual fact you are continually berating yourself about what to eat, when to eat it and what will you eat next...

My instant remedy is to take a very deep breath, relax and go one step at a time with a much better attitude. Don't make each day such a trial and try to enjoy and savour what you are eating. Eat slowly and keep in mind that this is not a race but a total life style that you will need to adopt for the forseeable future.

As you get older the harder it will be to lose weight so make the most of it now....

Take care and all the very best to you....

Hhhmmmmm im not quite sure i agree with all thats been written here. I suppose im coming from the mindset of a year ago i was weighing myself five times a day and living off fish veggies and porridge. So what im doing in comparison now isnt putting pressure on myself. I dont feel like i berate myself for what i eat. Maybe that wknd i was having a barney about the mug shot. But most of what i eat now i do without thinking. Whereas a year ago i felt guilty about eating even meals. There was a time when i wouldnt have had tea after having had that cake but i will tonite. I think it is a very fine line between following a diet and being obsessional. Maybe im still on the wrong side of it but working towards the right side. I dunno.

 

[Funky_Munky]

I think I'd have demolished more than one cake and a bit of a spoon lick I found going back to class helped me when I knew was approaching a bit of a levelling out period after losing 3 stone. I am struggling at the moment and it's not nice having to tell the class why you've gained but it's all that's keeping me from saying 'sod it, I'll just wait till my body sorts itself out and then I'll try again' in which time I'd have porked it all back on. Maybe give it a go for a 6 week countdown and see how you feel after that?

Thanks Emmy i knew youd been doing it at home on your own before class. Its good your sticking with it and im glad class is giving you that motivation.

Im sure to a lot of people i must seem like a right fruit cake i just have a lot of issues in my head still about diets and my weight. Its frustrating cos i obviously need to do something to lose weight but how do i do that without slipping into old bad habits. I still have my old consultants email so i might send her a message see what she says. Its silly in a way cos i thought writing on here about how i felt would make me feel better but it didnt at all.

 

[Funky_Munky]

I have decided to hold off on classes for now. Im not in the right frame of mind just now. Ive decided to stop putting pressure on myself to get to a size 10. I dont know why ive decided i want to be a size 10 cos the thinnest ive ever been is a small 12/big 10. I was just under 10 stone at that size. So im aiming for 10st by my holiday. Thats an average loss of half a pound a week. This means i dont have to worry myself too much about the odd little slip up.

Feel a lot better today. I weighed myself on my scales at home today and im 11st exactly so am happy with that. Despite my blips the numbers are going down.

Think the last few days have been a bit stressful. OH has had it confirmed in a years time his pay will be cut by 200 quid a month which is a bit crap. It just means we have to save our socks off till then. I wonder if thats been playing on my mind too. Were both off together this afternoon tho so can chill out together. Hope everyones having a nice day xx

 

[Funky_Munky]

Breakfast today - green
Baked beans
fried egg
one medium slice white bread 4syns
tea two sugars 2 syns milk hea
Muller light
Banana

 

[Funky_Munky]

I may have spoken too soon re class as mil is considering joining and asked if i wanted to go with. Shes looking into getting vouchers off docs although if she doesnt get them i dont know if she will still want to go. So i shall see.

Had a huge fight with oh last night. Not getting into it but think there has been a lot bubbling between us and that has impacted everything. Id love to say today is a fresh start and all that but i dont know tbh. Think i need a few days off here to concentrate on myself.

 

[Funky_Munky]

Och im back and back on track. Have used the last few days to have a good think about my eating habits and weight loss journey. Basically ive got far too much stress in my life with work mainly and im using it as an excuse to stuff my face with crap. Oh and i have agreed to make more of an effort with one another getting out and doing more as a couple which i think will help with stress etc. Already i feel better for getting out more than i normally wouldve done this wknd even if i was drinking diet coke in the pub!! Was reading a success story in the latest mag and the woman was saying trying to do too much was holding her back. This is exactly how i feel sometimes!!

I do feel a bit silly for posting some of my rantings on here. Im not sure how comfortable i am about sharing so much of my inner thoughts about my weight just yet. I dont think many people know or see the struggles i have with it. I know opening up about it will help in the long run but im worried about being declared insane in the meantime.

Am begining to think fate is telling me to get back to class. Ive had a flyer thro the door yesterday for my old group and the leader sent me a text this evening!!! Ha ha. Mil still has to speak to the docs. I do want her to get the vouchers so she can get into it. I would have to go to a class near her tho where i used to live. She has a lot to lose probably at least 7 stone and its seriously impacting her health. She has a really bad hip cos of weight but cos her blood pressure is so high they wont operate. I feel so bad for her cos its obvious to see shes not happy and is worried but you can also see shes overwhelmed by how much she has to lose. She also doesnt have much support from fil. He is also very overweight but is in denial about it tbh and sometimes i do feel like he wont support her so he has someone to be stuck in his rut with him. God that sounds a bit harsh but i do just think they have that kind of relationship where she is quite submissive to him. I do feel like can i really help her going to class with her. I hope so and that going to group can get her some support.

Its back to work tomorrow and im all set with my dinner made and healthy snacks ready. I just need to keep telling myself while im there i cannot do everything and its not my job to!!!!!! I was wondering to myself while doing all my soul searching am i maybe trying to fix other problems with my weight. Am i secretly hoping that being a size 10 will make my job any easier?! Thing is it wont and i know that. I need to deal with my problems in work now. Its funny how you can use weight as the excuse for everything in life. If i lost weight id have the perfect life!! I just feel good im makinh some progress on all this finally.

 

[Funky_Munky]

Monday-green day:
Baked beans and one medium slice white bread 4syns
Sweet and sour mug shot
Four ryvita and dairylea original spread hea and heb
Banana
Apple
Toffee muller light
Mashed potato baked beans eggs fried in frylight
No sugar squash
Diet coke
Tea with semi milk and sugar hea and 5 syns (i do love a brew!)

Total syns 9

Am going to venture into a red day/ee tomorrow after craving more meat! Oooohhhh excitement.

 

[Funky_Munky]

This morning ive been thinking about excuses. Its my birthday this wknd and im out a couple of times as a result. This means its gonner be pretty tough to stick to plan this wknd and i had honestly thought och ill wait until after that before getting back onto it. Then i realised this morning when taking my pill i will be on star week next week as of tuesday. Now i get horrid bloating as well as crazy cravings so i know i will not lose that week.

Usually id think to myself id wait until after all this to start on the diet. But when you think about this there is always an excuse. There is always a birthday night out wedding holiday or something else to hold me up. If i keep putting my diet on hold i will never make a proper start!! I think this is where ive gone wrong in the past.

Also when all these things are going on whats stopping me from sticking to plan during them? I can have diet drinks or choose healthy options. It doesnt always have to result in stuffing my face. I guess what ive realised this morning is that i dont have to let these excuses hold me up. I can still lose weight regardless of whats happening and i dont have to feel deprived either.

 

[Funky_Munky]

Tuesdays food - ee
Two boiled eggs
six ryvita wholegrain cracker bread
2oz dairlylea original hea and b
Tea with milk and sugar - four syns
Chicken salad
Shape ff yoghurt x 2
Apple
Banana
Nas squash
Gammon egg and mashed potato with carrots cauliflower and brocolli

Total syns - 4

 

[Emmaline]

(Quote) Ive decided to stop putting pressure on myself to get to a size 10. I dont know why ive decided i want to be a size 10 cos the thinnest ive ever been is a small 12/big 10. I was just under 10 stone at that size. So im aiming for 10st by my holiday. Thats an average loss of half a pound a week. This means i dont have to worry myself too much about the odd little slip up.
(Quote)

Soo - No pressure, hey?
As you say - there is always an excuse for not getting into losing weight, beleive me I have been there, done that, and got the T shirt! First it was 'cos I have a family to cook for, then I was at full time work, then lots of probs with OH, etc, etc. Now I am on my own and have lots of health issues to deal with and made that the big thing for a long while.

Think you are STILL making excuses - whether this person or that person joins 'cos of this or that - and nobody can possibly understand your situation..... we all have things to contend with, that's life unfortunately!

You CAN do it if you really want to so all the very best in your efforts.....

 

[Funky_Munky]

Im sorry but im not sure what youre trying to say here? Are you saying im making excuses for myself even tho i identified this and that im not using it as an excuse anymore? As for joining im only considering it now cos my mil asked and i want to support her. Im sure you are trying to help me but i feel like ive made a lot of positive posts lately and yet im getting told my attitude is all wrong.

 

[Saddle Bags]

I have decided to hold off on classes for now. Im not in the right frame of mind just now. Ive decided to stop putting pressure on myself to get to a size 10. I dont know why ive decided i want to be a size 10 cos the thinnest ive ever been is a small 12/big 10. I was just under 10 stone at that size. So im aiming for 10st by my holiday. Thats an average loss of half a pound a week. This means i dont have to worry myself too much about the odd little slip up.

Hi Funky Monkey

Half a pound a week is a really sensible target loss and really achieveable for you. We all have different reasons why we want or need to lose weight, all resulting in the same goal at the end, to look and feel better about ourselves.

Good luck with your journey honey, you're doing great.

xxxxxxx

 

[Funky_Munky]

Hi Funky Monkey

Half a pound a week is a really sensible target loss and really achieveable for you. We all have different reasons why we want or need to lose weight, all resulting in the same goal at the end, to look and feel better about ourselves.

Good luck with your journey honey, you're doing great.

xxxxxxx

Thanks saddle bags. Hope you enjoy my ramblings. Im sure its not to everyones tastes but it helps me putting it out there!

So far today is going ok. I feel good ive got a couple of days on plan already under my belt even tho it is going to be a difficult wknd. I think knowing ive been on plan will help me make better choices at the wknd.

 

[Saddle Bags]

If you can try and plan ahead if you know you have a difficult weekend, easier said than done I know, if you can't plan it just try and make the best choices you can.

I find it a constant battle dieting. I've always been chunky/thick set/overweight - whatever you want to call it, I've always been it. When I met my now husband 18 years ago I weighed 10st and thought I was overweight/fat then! I guess I didn't know any better then. Two kids later and I weigh 9lbs heavier than when I was 9 months pregnant!! We can only diet for ourselves, nobody else otherwise I don't feel there is a point to it. I've done weight watchers on and off, mostly off, for years and never lost anymore than 10lbs. When I joined SW, this is the first time I've ever done SW, I just felt in my mind that I could do this, for once I felt my goals were achievable and could picture myself slim. Don't get me wrong I've had blips along the way, I've been doing the diet for 12 weeks and lost 17.5 lbs, which is not loads compared to some but I'm not gonna compare myself. We're all different and as long as I continue on my journey as I am I know I'll be happy when I get there. People have now started to notice which makes you feel good too.

There, that's me rambling on! I feel it really helpful to look at other peoples diaries and see their good losses and tips and almost everyone struggles along the way too which makes me feel normal. Even when I know I've had a good week and will lose I always feel sick when I get to the scales - how stupid is that!

Onwards and downwards love and I'll keeping checking in on you if you don't mind and we can help each other along the way.

xxxxx