The start of something good!

Day 65

Hello

Today was OK, I covered my tuna in black pepper this evening to see if it sorted out my mini pork-pie fetish that has come to pass. I think it did as I haven't been pulled to the fridge this evening.

A couple of people at work have commented on my 'new' tops - and how nice they are. The are of course just tops that I have had for the past 2 years and not been able to fit in, that I am getting out as now I can.

Still climbing the stairs to the office and going for a walk at lunchtime too - if I can make it a habit that I don't have to think about then it will be a positive change to my lifestyle that doesn't demand much of me (unlike going to the gym etc).

Weigh-in is on Saturday this week and then back to Sunday the week after so I guess this will change the figures a little.

Love Cx
 
Day 66

Hello

I am tired today, really wanted to come home early but had to stay at work!

It's OH's birthday tomorrow so I have got him a cake and spent an hour or so decorating it. It was really difficult not to lick the icing off my fingers - lots of trips to the sink needed.

I made sure that the cake is covered in thick icing as I don't like it so hopefully I won't be tempted to eat any tomorrow.

Off to catch up with your news now,

Love Cx
 
Day 67

Hello

Today has been really hard, it was the first time that I felt I was missing out on stuff by sticking to the plan. My OHs cake was, I have been told, amazing. I kept telling myself that I can get myself another cake in December and it will be just as nice then.

I guess this shows that a lot of our lives are focussed on food - OHs mum cooked a great meal for him and did me a CD friendly alternative and it just made me feel grumpy too.

On the brighter side of things, this is the first time I have felt like I am missing out, 67 days in. I didn't eat anything off plan and didn't have to fight too hard against my mental desire to eat. I had forewarned OH and OHs mum that I was not to be allowed any cake no matter what I did/said.

Although I know that losing an average of 4.5lbs a week is incredible and similar to post-surgery weight-loss, as well as being double that of being on a standard diet, I still get mad that I am not losing weight quicker. Does anyone else feel like this?

Love Cx
 
Day 68

Hello

Felt really down today - a combination of being frustrated that I couldn't eat all the beautiful food on offer which is then rapidly followed with disappointment and self-loathing for having got myself so overweight that I have had to resort to CD to lose it.

I like to think of this as my 'fat' brain putting forward a decent fight before it is conquered and banished by my 'healthy' brain in a year long war that will end in food no longer being the be-all and end-al of my life.

Only managed 2 litres and a bit today, I will see how much I can get down before bed...

Early weigh-in tomorrow, not hopeful at all - I feel like I have put on about 10 stone in gloom and grumpiness this week!

Oh well

Love Cx
 
Day 69

Hello

Weigh-in today was disappointing, just a single solitary pound lost its home this past week. However, this evening I had a 'productive' trip to the toilet and have managed my 3 litres of water, so hopes are high for a change on the scales in the morning.

I am wondering whether or not to purchase some new trousers. My size 28s are siting dangerously on my hips - do I purchase a pair of size 26, 24 or have a go at taking in the 28s? i am loathed to buy trousers that won't be worn for long until I can get them from supermarkets which is a 24 I think...ideas?

Skirt and shirt for wedding happily in the wardrobe, I will try them on in the week and see how far off I am (or not). I am scaring myself with all this girliness, in the past week I have purchased a bag (in lilac), a necklace and the wedding clothes. Next I will know the difference between blusher, bronzer and shimmer...quick, someone pass me a drill and some wood!

Love Cx
 
Photo Update

Here are my starting photos and the 3 stone lost pictures!

IMG_0739_2.JPG IMG_0785_2.JPG

IMG_0742_2.JPG IMG_0786.JPG
 
Hi Clair,

You are doing so well. The better you feel about yourself, the better you will want to treat yourself -- so wanting to do your make-up, wear prettier clothing, etc. Is probably due to your improving self-esteem. It's a good thing. (You won't forget how to use power tools, I promise.)

I would buy a couple of pairs of decent (not too pricey) trousers that are a bit snug atm. Then you can wear them with a belt as you lose weight, that is until they look like clown pants. Then, you get rid of those and you do the same, again.
I did this as I lost on LL in 2008. And, as I lost the weight I gave the trousers to a friend who is larger than I am and unable to spend much on clothing. But, you could ebay, or donate to Salvation Army or women's shelter, too.

I recommend getting rid of larger clothing asap. I kept nothing, and when I allowed myself to start slipping up... having to go out and buy a couple of pairs of bigger trousers was the slap in the face that made me start thinking about using CD to lose the weight. It took getting almost back to obese for me to fully commit, but I am on Day 47 now!

My losses have been much slower this time -- but my body knows what I am doing and so is slowing my metabolism. I need to up my exercise to continue losing. Also, boosting your calories a bit may make your body think the "famine" is over and you start to lose again.

Good Luck -- I am impressed with OH's mum making you a special meal. She must really care about you.

MM
 
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Hi ClairBear,

Just came back and read through your diary. I find it very impressive that you have found a plan that works for you. And, I also admire how despite having done so mnay different types of diets that you have not given up. You are one determined lady -- I am sure that you CAN and WILL do this.

MinnieMel
 
Day 70

Hello

Not much to report today, back to work tomorrow after a few days off so got that sunday night feeling at the moment.

Got a weird taste in my mouth - not the normal ketosis one...wonder what is going on!

Love Cx
 
Day 71

Hello

Today was long at work - time passed too slowly for my liking.

I have done a SS day today as I couldn't be bothered to go to the supermarket and buy food, especially as those locations are full of chocolates and champagne today!

I worked out the passage of time v weight loss today and I am a week ahead of myself which is good. It should take me 50 weeks of 4lbs a week to lose it all. 10 weeks already gone, so I just have to do this another 3 times and I am hopefully done.

Off to catch up with you lot now...

Love Cx
 
Hi Clairbear --

What a positive way to look at it. Breaking it into chunks that you know you can do (because you already have) is a fab idea.

Good plan to avoid the chocs, etc. in the shops today.

MM
 
Day 72

Hello

Crappy day at work and now I have a migraine so will be going straight to bed shortly, but I thought I would say hello and share a few things that came to me today.

Toast - should be banned from work. The smell of it in the kitchen had a similar effect on me as getting angry does on the Incredible Hulk! There is something about toast that is magical. Luckily the guilty person had already left with their toast. Imagine the HR meeting if they hadn't?!?!?

Fear - I realised driving home that I am petrified of being skinny and having people look at me and make comments as they do to my female friends. I didn't realise how much harassment is aimed at women in the street and in cars until I walked and car shared with a colleague at work. She was stared at, leached over and shouted at daily. At one point I challenged the builders about their behaviour and wrote to their CEX to complain. I am really scared about this happening to me. Not so much that I won't lose the weight, but it does worry me. Maybe I need to carry a large stick with me to hit them with!?!?

Periods - I am coming to the end of my extra-super-dooper pills this week, so I am hoping that things are OK and don't go back to the way they were, I don't have the energy to deal with hourly trips to the loo and little sleep.

Well off to sit in the dark now and wait for tablets to work.

Love Cx

PS Thanks for the support and comments people - it's really nice and spurs me on!
 
Hi Clairbear --

I used to get hassled all the time (from about the age of 12) and hated it. Then, in my early 30s I gained weight, was older, became very mumsy. I missed the attention a bit, but it was okay.

And, after I lost 5 stone on LL in 2008 (at age 46), I was walking into to work and some young guys in a car drove past whistled and catcalled (I was wearning a black pencil skirt and black knee boots). I had to laugh... if they had been closer they would have realised they were whistling at someone their mum's age (or older). LOL

So, I think that when you lose the weight the will learn how to deal with it. I used to do a lot of pretending I did not hear what they said, or if I heard it -- that I did not understand. Treat them as if they are small children.

MM
 
Day 73

Hello

Work has been awful today, I think I managed to either upset, piss off or anger almost everyone I came into contact with. Oh well, I expect a bit of a telling off in the morning and then things will calm down again. It's almost like I have hit my head and lost the ability to be diplomatic / keep my mouth shut.

I have to get up really early tomorrow (early for me) and give a presentation at a breakfast meeting (where there will be a full english being dished out). Not looking forward to it - the full english torture, not the presentation, I am OK doing them usually.

Another day of SS+ today, still haven't got to the supermarket - cannot be bothered, until I am, I will take advantage and stick to SS+ (4 packs and milk in tea)...who would have thought that buying food would become too much hassle for me??? this from the person who would drive to supermarkets at all times of the day/night to get junk to eat.

How things change!

Off to drink water and try to do some pre-exam reading...

Love Cx
 
Hi Clairbear,

I hope you have a good day at work tomorrow, and the English breakfast fails to interest you.

MM
 
Day 74

Hello

You will be glad to know that I stayed away from the breakfast, although it did look really nice (and quite healthy as was grilled, not fried). These breakfast meetings are bi-monthly, so I will have to make sure that the next one I go to is post end of CD so that I can take advantage of the breakfast.

Didn't get told off, which surprises me, but then again, it is a huge organisation and I am but a cog in its machinery.

Trying to read these text books as I have 3 exams in early March so I was going to do a book a week. But they are very boring and I am not really interested. Much prefer to go to bed early and listen to podcasts!

Oh well, I will endeavour to get through at least chapter 1 this evening.

Love Cx
 
I am proud of you -- for both resisting breakfast (I love a cooked breakfast), and for getting on with your assigned reading. I hope you have a good day tomorrow, as well!

MM
 
Day 75

Hello

Didn't manage to do my reading, I did however open the book and look through the chapters and realised I really do need to read it. I have the weekend to do the whole book in order to stay on track with my "avoid all work until the last minute" plan.

Just ate a mini pork-pie. Bang goes a week of SS, but not the end of the world, only 200 calories, much of which is fat, protein and 'un-mentionables'. Not too worried about it, I am sure that I will grow out of this soon. I wish I could tell people not to buy them in their shopping and put them in the centre position in the fridge, but I have to learn to live with these things!

Otherwise, didn't manage to piss anyone off, upset anyone or get told off today, so a good end to a stressful week.

Got myself a facial and massage booked in tomorrow morning as a 3 stone reward.

Weigh-in on sunday so will be interesting to see if the SS has made a difference.

Love Cx
 
Day 76

Hello

I purchased a jumper today from Evans in the sale and I chose a 22/24. It certainly looks big enough, I will try it on later and report back. I am currently wearing my size 26 shirts at work...

Weigh-in tomorrow - fingers crossed!

Facial was lovely, massage a little weird as my shoulder/neck was still in pain from sleeping funny and so wasn't all that relaxing.

Hair dressers next weekend, as friend's wedding the weekend after!

This also combines with my CDC's holiday so I will miss two weigh-ins and support sessions. I feel confident that I can make it through, especially after completing 5 days on SS this week.

Love Cx
 
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