The Things People Say?

[happyhealthy]

I was talking to someone at work today and he was discussing healthy eating. He is from Scandanavia and was talking about the difference between lifestyle here and back home. He said that so many British people allow themselves to get big and unhealthy and then mentioned that there were two mutual colleagues in the room who are big. He said it was sad because they are so young and don't keep themselves healthy, like I do.

This is the first time I have ever been in the 'slim group'. I was kind of strange though. I didn't see it as a compliment because I don't know the other girls well and how could he possibly know their situation? I don't know why they are big. For all I know they could be losing weight too! It also made me wonder how many times someone said that about me when I was three stone bigger... A lot I guess!

I am glad I am making the change though!

People who make assumptions like that are awful. Like you said he didn't know the background of the people he insulted. For all he knows they could have a medical problem which requires them to take medication that slows their metabolism down to virtually zero (it can happen). It's a sentiment to yourself thought that you've not jumping on the abuse bandwagon now that you're slimmer. There's one girl I know who used to be 'heavy' then lost weight and now she's so mean about larger people. How much do you weigh now? 3 stone is a lot to lose, well done!

 

[kagome75]

congratulations on your wedding kagome75 i knew it was sometime soon and you had gone very quiet any pics

Thanks yummymummy75! I got married on the 14 of may! I'll post some pics over the week end!

 

[ontheway]

This thread made me laugh so much!!

My mum is terrible, she has never had a problem with her weight, but she's a serious feeder. It drives me crazy, always trying to force rubbish food down my throat (not that I really needed much encouragement!)

My grandmother a few months ago said one day when I was chewing gum... maybe it's the gum making you so big, you look like a cow chewing its cud

 

[Aline]

Kagome75,
Congrats for the marriage I want to see the pics!
x

Ontheway,
Your grandmother sound very insensite and your mother isn't helping. Maybe you could chat with them and tell them you're trying to change your lifestyle and you would appreciate support from them.
You don't deserve to hear those things
xx

 

[ontheway]

Kagome75,
Congrats for the marriage I want to see the pics!
x

Ontheway,
Your grandmother sound very insensite and your mother isn't helping. Maybe you could chat with them and tell them you're trying to change your lifestyle and you would appreciate support from them.
You don't deserve to hear those things
xx

Thanks Aline... my grandmother is dead now so I don't suspect she'll be bothering me anymore.... (I've a wicked sense of humour so I'm actually grinning typing this)

My mum in fairness to her has been much more supportive when I've been in her house... lots of fruit and veg in the house.

 

[Aline]

Thanks Aline... my grandmother is dead now so I don't suspect she'll be bothering me anymore.... (I've a wicked sense of humour so I'm actually grinning typing this)

My mum in fairness to her has been much more supportive when I've been in her house... lots of fruit and veg in the house.

Ontheway,
Whatever your grandmother is now she's proud of your decision to chenga, no matter what she said in the past
Glad to know that your mother is more supportive now.

x

 

[Last_Attempt]

Thanks yummymummy75! I got married on the 14 of may! I'll post some pics over the week end!

Congratulations on your wedding, I hope you'll be very happy

 

[~Crooked Smile~]

I have just discovered this thread and it's been a brilliant read

I have a friend who is a fair bit bigger than me, she did lose weight with WW but has put it back on. I think she looks great as she is and I love her to pieces but she does say some things that really get to me...

One day, "gosh you're looking skinny today. Unhealthily skinny... Not in a bad way". Sorry, is there a good way to take that?

She is also one who always tries to get me to eat big takeaways and stuff, always saying "one won't hurt"

I was seeing a guy for a while recently and he just couldn't understand me. He was always trying to get me to eat junk. I'd say I need to be careful of what I'd eat and he'd just keep going on about how "there's nothing to me". Yes I'm maintaining now but if I eat at TGI Fridays every night I won't be for long...

Also, when I told him I'd talked to my WW class to give them some inspiration (as one of their newer gold members) he said "what did you do, stand at the front and say 'haha I'm thin now and you're all still fat'". He then couldn't understand why that upset me.

(I'm not seeing him anymore!!)

Finally the one thing that really annoys me, whoever says it, is "you're so lucky". I'm not lucky, I work really flipping hard!!!!

However, having said all that, I have also realised I have to be careful myself. I spent a long time being fairly overweight, and was always quite self-deprecating. From time to time now I still do it, out of habit, and have realised that this could be annoying and offensive to others, since I am now at my goal weight. I do NOT want to be the "thinner" person saying, "oh I'm fat!!"

 

[treasureBelle]

Last term there was a girl who was part of the same social group as I was at uni... I never liked her; I've never heard a SINGLE nice word come out of her mouth, unless she's talking about her boyfriend.

Anyway, a group of us were hanging out at uni, just generally chatting etc, and this girl starts b****ing about a girl we all know (who no longer hangs out with the group anymore because of all the b****ing). "Oh, ____ always tries to act thinner than she is... it makes me sick to look at her because she wears clothes a size or two smaller than she really is, so it makes her LOOK fat..."
____ is tiny, and dresses properly for her size, and is a lovely girl who I adore. Anyway, Queen B**** is busy saying all this to me, then when I give her a kind of "look", she hastily adds, back-pedalling... "Oh, not that I have a problem with fat people..." Uh... YEAH. RIGHT.

I've since broken friendships with certain b****y people in that group, although I remain friends with some of them. However, Queen B**** was found to be too b****y even for the cattiest girls in the group, and has also been ejected.

A number of people in that group also make fun of my (male) friend "X". X is a little overweight, but really not by much - about a stone at the most. On one occasion, Queen B**** was being catty about her cousin, who is extremely obese, even larger than me (I was the largest person in the group). So, Queen B is slating her cousin (who wasn't there) about her weight, and showed us pictures of her on Facebook. Queen B then goes on to joke, "Hey X, I've found you a girlfriend!"

So glad I don't hang out with a lot of those people anymore. Too much cattiness, gossip and drama.

 

[LittleSis]

treasureBelle..Somethings never change.I can remeber simlar coment and people from when I was at school (a little after the Stoneage!!)

As far as things people say. I have a freind who is the same height as me but I normaly go 2-3 stn heavyer.. Afew years ago I lost 4stn on LL. When I saw her after I'd lost the weight she stared at me and said.."Oh my God you look like a cancer victim, you've lost so much weight!!!". I pointed out 2 things to her. First how offencive that comment was. Then I asked her how much she weighed. Strangly , she and I were the same weight!! So how come it was O.K. for her to be that weight but not me...

Another friend answered the question..The old green eted monster

I haven't told the first "friend" I'm on a diet at the moment. I'll have to wait and see what she has to say once I've reached my goal!!

 

[Clareel]

Just remembered this one from a few years ago, I was in work and must have been about 13 stone at the time (starting at over 16stone) and this woman I work with asked me how much I weighed (rude!) and what my target was (equally rude!). I did tell her anyway what I weighed and that my target was around 10 stone to which she replied "No you wouldn't be able to get down to 10 stone, I mean I'm 11 stone".

As if what she weighed had any sort of impact on what I should or could weigh lol!

I'm 11 and a half now, I don't work in that department anymore but may just take a stroll down there when I reach target (of shock horror, 9 stone 3lb) and see what she has to say then haha!

 

[gina_b]

Just remembered this one from a few years ago, I was in work and must have been about 13 stone at the time (starting at over 16stone) and this woman I work with asked me how much I weighed (rude!) and what my target was (equally rude!). I did tell her anyway what I weighed and that my target was around 10 stone to which she replied "No you wouldn't be able to get down to 10 stone, I mean I'm 11 stone".

As if what she weighed had any sort of impact on what I should or could weigh lol!

I'm 11 and a half now, I don't work in that department anymore but may just take a stroll down there when I reach target (of shock horror, 9 stone 3lb) and see what she has to say then haha!

how rude of her!

 

[ontheway]

Crooked Smile... you're better of without that guy, if he can't understand that you need to watch your weight and be careful, then he's not the most supportive potential boyfriend.

Btw you look fab

 

[Morrigan]

People who make assumptions like that are awful. Like you said he didn't know the background of the people he insulted. For all he knows they could have a medical problem which requires them to take medication that slows their metabolism down to virtually zero (it can happen). It's a sentiment to yourself thought that you've not jumping on the abuse bandwagon now that you're slimmer. There's one girl I know who used to be 'heavy' then lost weight and now she's so mean about larger people. How much do you weigh now? 3 stone is a lot to lose, well done!

I never understand why people are hurtful to those who are bigger once they've lost weight. You'd think of ALL the people who would understand how and why a person may be bigger, it would be someone who has been overweight themselves. I would hope my own opinions about my weight would never impact on somebody else - it isn't my place to be judgemental. I didn't get big because of anything other than loving food and I can certainly relate to other people who do!!

I now weigh 11 stone, down from 14 xxx

 

[Legomom]

Last time I lost a lot of weight it was a close freind who was also big who really stuck the knife in by basically saying I wasn't fat enough to be in the club anymore!!! She'd make quite scathing 'skinny people' remarks and once when I was commiserating with another buddy about back boobs (c'mon we all have them!!) she virtually snarled 'and what would you know about it??' it was very hard to take to be fair as even then I was still 2st from goal and absolutely still saw a great big wobbly mess when I looked in the mirror!!! And I DID still have my back boobies lol

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[Last_Attempt]

He then couldn't understand why that upset me.

(I'm not seeing him anymore!!)

I don't blame you I recently started dating a guy I split up with 6yrs ago. He's American and the distance was killing it. But...We are now making positive plans and he is super supportive. There is hope for us all

 

[Evy_Starlight]

Last time I lost a lot of weight it was a close freind who was also big who really stuck the knife in by basically saying I wasn't fat enough to be in the club anymore!!! She'd make quite scathing 'skinny people' remarks and once when I was commiserating with another buddy about back boobs (c'mon we all have them!!) she virtually snarled 'and what would you know about it??' it was very hard to take to be fair as even then I was still 2st from goal and absolutely still saw a great big wobbly mess when I looked in the mirror!!! And I DID still have my back boobies lol

:O Sounds like she's having a visit from our good old friend Miss Jealousy ;P
Everyone gets back boobs, I still have em and I'm 2st from my ultimate goal too xx

 

[amberelle]

I had my thyroid out 2 years ago until then I was 9/9 and s half stone without trying. Then after the op I put on three stone I was still eating the same (infact less cause I was feeling fat) yet it was not coming off. The Drs just looked at me like I was liar and said there was nothing they could do I should exercise.Well I did this made my illness worse and put on more weight. So ******* frustrating! All the skinnies used to say well eat less I thought I'm surviving on 1000 cals a day you idiots! Luckily now I'm feeling a lot better and I have been able to shed some of the weight. Hopefully Exante can get me through the rest of the weight loss.

Rant over phew.................

 

[Fionat29]

It' s always good to rant! If you can't rant on here, where can you? Glad things are getting better for you.

 

[amberelle]

Thanks, and yes it certainly helps!