Things to consider before we cheat

SerenityValley

Surgically happy.
Been mulling this over for a few days, with the intention of writing a post for my diary thread (may copy it across later).

It doesn't matter what diet you're doing, you could decide to cheat. On many diets, this does not matter. For example, on SW or WW, if you decide to eat a cherry scone (one of my favourite treats), you will still be able to carry on as before. No ill effects, except maybe no loss. Even a little cheat every day, and you could still lose weight, but at the very least you're still well placed to continue where you left off.

On a vlcd, a cherry scone could very well mean falling out of ketosis, having a temporary gain, and a loss of 3 to 5 days of prime ketosis. A little cheat every day, could mean never being back in ketosis, and despite hardly eating a thing, no loss at all.

Today we went out this afternoon (20 week scan) and the Mrs fancied a treat (she can have whatever she likes, at 20 weeks, she's gained 2lbs!), and she chose a mint feast. I love feasts, but not mint so much. Briefly my inner child went "waaaah!" and I had a word with myself.

How simple it would be to cheat. If I'd been on SW, I'd have just had one. On SnS I can't. So I need a coping strategy for when the inner child kicks up a fuss.

I think that strategy is actually quite simple. I balance my want for the treat and my want for my weight loss.

What will my cheat taste like? (benefit of cheating)
How long will it taste like that? (benefit of cheating)
How will I feel afterwards? (Drawback of cheating)

The truth of the matter is; there is no cheat out there that would taste that nice (not even a cherry scone), I'd have forgotten about how it tastes in minutes, and I'll feel rubbish (emotionally, and then probably physically).

I know from experience how these things call us, frequently and relentlessly. However, the availability of such items is not the problem. Our attitude to them is. I truly believe we can control our attitude to so called "forbidden " treats. On SnS we don't have the option to cheat effectively. That actually makes it easier, as long as we're committed to the plan.

Other things I consider. Why I want to cheat. On a vlcd, it's so rarely about physical hunger. The answer of me is invariably that I feel deprived. So I ask myself, why do I feel deprived? Because I've allowed myself to get fat and I feel entitled. But I am not entitled - not if it means that I am derailing my progress. It will never make me happy, and I will only want more.

Long term, I have plans I hope to put into place to stop me gaining. It will involve exercise patterns where I exercise 5 times a week. It will involve writing diary or blog entries around my particular issues. (I am fairly sure I have B.E.D), especially my emotional attachment to food. I also have my son to consider, or will do from November.

In summary:

What benefits will I get from cheating?
Will they outweigh the drawbacks?
Will I derail my progress?
Why do I want to cheat?

I can do all of these in my head, in 2 minutes, although it is sometimes very useful to put a lot more time and thought into my rejection of a cheat. That ensures that I give proper attention to things.

Next time you want to cheat on a vlcd; instead of focusing on what you're missing out on, focus on what you will miss out on if you cheat.

Sorry, it's gotten rambly - hope at least some of this is useful. There is no reason to cheat, no force strong enough to make us eat. We'll do it, if we want to. So we have to want to lose weight more.

Andy
 
Thank you Andy,
Personally I believe we need to be more honest with ourselves. I comfort eat, I have depression and it is a horrible cycle.
1. Feel bad
2. Eat bad
3. Gain weight
Then return to steps 1,2 and 3 over and over again.
I am addressing my issues with food and analysing my feelings which lead to comfort eating with a hope of breaking the cycle.
Your post is very much along the same lines.
I wish you every success
Beth
 
Fantastic ramblings! I think this is a read a day kind of post.

Congrats on the baby hope you had a fab time seeing your little man.

Em x
 
Well done Andy. That's how it all goes on and it's trying to work out how to keep it off that's the hard bit!
Like you I will be adding in exercising and better control of my inner child.
Great post!

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
 
Great post - food for thought :)
 
I totally get this post, and when I'm in 'the zone' nothing but nothing comes between me and this diet. It's because the diet is so definitive that for me cheating is non negotiable. It's also the reason why I'm unsuccessful on diets such as SW where I can choose to have whatever I want, and once I have had the 'treat' to the limit that the diet allows I start to convince myself that just a bit more won't hurt, culminating in reasoning that I've blown the diet so I may as well just carry on stuffing my face. On a VLCD almost everything is off limits so I just don't cheat and this makes it much easier for me.

On a VLCD it's so all or nothing there really is no point in even attempting to do it if you are going to cheat and constantly sabotage yourself in a way that you can maybe get away with on a more traditional diet. Abandoning more normal eating for meal packs and the odd bit of veg or protein has to be worth the sacrifice, and if we constantly sabotage ourselves by cheating not only will we feel bad both mentally and physically we also won't see the results that we all crave which after all is the sole reason for doing a VLCD in the first place. And like you say Andy, how long does the 'good' feeling of food last compared to the feeling of disappointment, self loathing and failure that the cheat ultimately releases within us? So the rule before cheating has to be to rationalise why it is that you want to cheat. Stop, think, make a conscious decision! I would say that 99 times out of 100 there is really no good reason to do so.

One thing I've learnt about myself on this diet is that I am not an emotional eater. When I am stressed or upset I'm more likely to not want to eat anything than to comfort eat. What makes me want to eat is simply that I want something (inner child coming through) coupled with a compulsion for certain trigger food that makes me not stop until whatever it is has gone. So that's a bar or box of chocolates, cakes, a bag of sweets. I've learnt that I cannot buy a big bar of chocolate and make it last several days because it just doesn't. I don't rest until it's gone. I will have to buy the smallest bar, finish it and be done with it, or not buy it in the first place. So whilst we take this break from real life (in terms of eating) a TFR diet provides the opportunity for us to all learn about ourselves; what makes us eat, what makes us fatter than other people, how we can overcome this in the future, and then to try to use that information to help us in maintenance. I saw a useful statement on the maintenance forum last weekend that said "I'm a fat person trapped in a thin person's body" and this really hit home to me that I'm never going to be able to just think and act like a naturally slim person. I will always have to watch what I eat whereas for a slim person this just comes naturally. Important stuff!
 
"I'm a fat person trapped in a thin person's body"

I've said something similar - no matter how thin I get, I will always be fat inside.

I am on my iPad so not able to post anything long (it tends to crash) but I will later. BG has gotten across what I wanted to convey, far better than I did.

Just want to add - a motivation for posting the thread. I believe greatly that prevention is better than cure. Having seen someone struggle and slip today, I feel that encouraging threads need to be made before people slip.
 
SerenityValley said:
Been mulling this over for a few days, with the intention of writing a post for my diary thread (may copy it across later).

It doesn't matter what diet you're doing, you could decide to cheat. On many diets, this does not matter. For example, on SW or WW, if you decide to eat a cherry scone (one of my favourite treats), you will still be able to carry on as before. No ill effects, except maybe no loss. Even a little cheat every day, and you could still lose weight, but at the very least you're still well placed to continue where you left off.

On a vlcd, a cherry scone could very well mean falling out of ketosis, having a temporary gain, and a loss of 3 to 5 days of prime ketosis. A little cheat every day, could mean never being back in ketosis, and despite hardly eating a thing, no loss at all.

Today we went out this afternoon (20 week scan) and the Mrs fancied a treat (she can have whatever she likes, at 20 weeks, she's gained 2lbs!), and she chose a mint feast. I love feasts, but not mint so much. Briefly my inner child went "waaaah!" and I had a word with myself.

How simple it would be to cheat. If I'd been on SW, I'd have just had one. On SnS I can't. So I need a coping strategy for when the inner child kicks up a fuss.

I think that strategy is actually quite simple. I balance my want for the treat and my want for my weight loss.

What will my cheat taste like? (benefit of cheating)
How long will it taste like that? (benefit of cheating)
How will I feel afterwards? (Drawback of cheating)

The truth of the matter is; there is no cheat out there that would taste that nice (not even a cherry scone), I'd have forgotten about how it tastes in minutes, and I'll feel rubbish (emotionally, and then probably physically).

I know from experience how these things call us, frequently and relentlessly. However, the availability of such items is not the problem. Our attitude to them is. I truly believe we can control our attitude to so called "forbidden " treats. On SnS we don't have the option to cheat effectively. That actually makes it easier, as long as we're committed to the plan.

Other things I consider. Why I want to cheat. On a vlcd, it's so rarely about physical hunger. The answer of me is invariably that I feel deprived. So I ask myself, why do I feel deprived? Because I've allowed myself to get fat and I feel entitled. But I am not entitled - not if it means that I am derailing my progress. It will never make me happy, and I will only want more.

Long term, I have plans I hope to put into place to stop me gaining. It will involve exercise patterns where I exercise 5 times a week. It will involve writing diary or blog entries around my particular issues. (I am fairly sure I have B.E.D), especially my emotional attachment to food. I also have my son to consider, or will do from November.

In summary:

What benefits will I get from cheating?
Will they outweigh the drawbacks?
Will I derail my progress?
Why do I want to cheat?

I can do all of these in my head, in 2 minutes, although it is sometimes very useful to put a lot more time and thought into my rejection of a cheat. That ensures that I give proper attention to things.

Next time you want to cheat on a vlcd; instead of focusing on what you're missing out on, focus on what you will miss out on if you cheat.

Sorry, it's gotten rambly - hope at least some of this is useful. There is no reason to cheat, no force strong enough to make us eat. We'll do it, if we want to. So we have to want to lose weight more.

Andy

Summed up how i have been feeling today with wanting to cheat (almost went for a maccy ds) but anytime I feel weak and want to give in i will ask myself those questions... I can guarantee nothing will ever justify the need to cheat!

Thank you I found this post really helpful!
 
Thanks for the great post. The part that meant the most to me is how I feel after the cheat and it is a feeling of disappointment that I am unfortunately acutely aware of today. I am going to take it on board and really focus on that tomorrow if I feel like cheating.
 
After the weekends antics I can totally relate to some of the post !

Great post deffo
What I needed too x
 
Thank to for ths inspirational thread. I think for me is the fact it's my brain telling me to eat not an actual physical need, I know I have enough nutrients to live. This absence from food is a great time to reflect.
 
This diet and the results of my week off the diet have made me realise that I have much deeper issues with food that I need to address long term. What you have written about cheating really rings true, I know I have a weekend off in a couple of weeks and I think I will make those questions the screensaver on my phone to remind me to make the right choices.
 
Great post! My problem is exactly that, I feel entitled. My thought process is "I'm so hungry! Why shouldn't I have a little bit of cheese, it's only x calories, I'll still be under" or "if I eat now after weigh-in I'll have all week to be good and will get it out of my system".
Bloody stupid!
I needed to see this today!

Thanks xxx
 
I am so glad that this has been helpful for people, makes me feel really good.

I talk a very good game sometimes however, I am not always able to follow through. Today, I've said goodbye to S&S again. I'm going to calorie count for a while, and go back to exercise. I have no doubts there are going to be times when I need to do this vlcd again though.

Good luck everyone,
Andy x
 
Best of luck Andy. I hope that it works out for you and you reach your target weight. Oh and all the best for the new arrival when he comes :) Thanks again for your wise words.
 
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