Thoughts and feelings along the way

[Rosenm]

Gosh, I really wondered about starting a personal "diary thread".
Why ? Because I NEVER have kept at it.
But now I am a WeMITTS sooooo here I go.

Yesterday I was feeling terrible. Hating myself and my body, lethargic and down.
I managed to stick with a day of healthy eating and went to my first Zumba class. ( how I enjoyed it !! ) I came out smiling and feeling so much better. Shame it was so late in the day when I went.
Today I feel more positive. Managed to get up in time for an hour at the gym before work and am planning on a yoga class after work.

Regarding my weight, I´m at my heaviest since having children ( long time ago ). It´s been creeping up over the last year or so and I´ve had a hard time sticking at any diet for more than a few days at a time. I realise I stress eat. Something I never thought I did.
It´s a bit of a vicious circle isn´t it. Feel uncomfortable with yourself and body.. find yourself eating for comfort and feel worse.
Very weird, cause I for one feel so much better when I am active and eating well.

I am my worst enemy. I know that. I must learn to sit out a craving, to remember that it passes and I don´t need to act on an impulse to do something I know isn´t in my own best interest.

So here I go...

I really want to drop around 18lbs by the end of July but I mainly want to feel comfortable with myself again.

 

[ladyfelsham]

Well done hun - you managed your way through it yesterday, and that's a great pattern to follow in the future if/when you're feeling a bit down. And we're here to help too.

Food addiction is a tough thing to beat - we all do it - emotional eating, stress eating, etc - but I know we can beat it too!

When cravings strike, I find it useful to move into another room and do something involving my hands - manicure or something like that. Almost always takes my mind off it .

 

[Rosenm]

Hello there,
sorry I missed this. I´ve been looking after my Grandson for a couple of days and have been a bit busy.

Craving struck Susie and I gave into it big time.
I´m afraid I´ve derailed again. Should I just say got off to a " false start". I really don´t know what is the matter with me of late. Craving struck Susie and I gave into it big time.I just can´t seem to get back at this.
I´m actually thinking of maybe going to a hypnotist, I´m feeling that lost. If it wasn´t for my economy I certainly would give it a go.

I have a choice later on this afternoon ; either go to the gym then get home to take dog out and catch up on some housework or go healthy food shopping, get home, take dog out and start some batch cooking. House work tomorrow early and few hours at the gym late afternoon. ( Then more cooking or housework )

I don´t normally get this choice as I usually have to work till 7pm but I´m free as from 2pm today. Yaay !! Must make the most of it.

 

[ladyfelsham]

It's easily done to lose focus and fall off the wagon, hun, but why not just draw a line under it and start afresh tomorrow - are you following any particular eating plan?

 

[Rosenm]

It's easily done to lose focus and fall off the wagon, hun, but why not just draw a line under it and start afresh tomorrow - are you following any particular eating plan?

Hi, Thanks for your support.
I ´m not following any plan but I´ve got all my Hairy Dieters books out as I love their recopies. So I guess calorie control if anything.
Still wondering about SW.
To tell you the truth, I´m feeling pretty lost. I´ve been on and off so many diets I´m really fed up of " being on ..." but neither can I learn how to control whatever my good intentions.

x

 

[ladyfelsham]

I know exactly how you feel, I've discovered - after trying low carb (almost impossible here to avoid carbs), WW (hated it) and calorie counting - that I need a plan or structure of some sort to follow, or I just veer off course really easily.

That's why I really like SW - I know it's not for everyone, but I like making food from scratch and being on a plan that lets me have bread and cheese - but in limited quantities .

Good luck to whatever you decide hun, just keep in your mind that falling off the wagon usually means it's ages until you climb back on - and every time I do that, I've usually piled loads more weight back on and got really angry with myself. This time I think I've accepted that SW is for life, so am just trying to make it part of my usual daily routine - no holidays, no breaks.

 

[Rosenm]

Hi Susie, Congratulations on your weight loss this week.
You´ve really inspired me. Hopefully I´ll hang on to the wagon for longer now. It´s so draining isn´t it.. This feeling angry at ourselves all the time. Angry at not sticking with something that makes you feel so much better.

Soo.
I did some shopping, cooking and a little planning on Friday and Saturday. I thought I´d write down today´s menu plan in the hope I´ll stick with it.

B: HD (Hairy Dieters ) Toasted crumpets with spiced warm fruit, FF greek yoghurt and honey = 257cals

L: HD Bean and veg soup = 290cals
HD Transylvanian Meat balls ( without the garlc sauce, forgot to make it )= 300cals ( a little bit less )

D: HD Ceasar Salad = 272 cals

Drinks : 2lts water
Black Coffee x 2
Teas with semi skimmed milk = 80cals

I´ve booked a zumba class tonight and I´ll give the dog a good walk at lunch break.

 

[ladyfelsham]

Thanks Rosenm - I know, the guilt and anger is just wearing, and who needs it! You can do it, hun - and you've got loads of good exercise planned too!

Cor your brekkie sounds lovely - how did you do the fruit? In fact, the whole menu sounds gorgeous - what's your meatball recipe?

 

[Rosenm]

Thanks Rosenm - I know, the guilt and anger is just wearing, and who needs it! You can do it, hun - and you've got loads of good exercise planned too!

Cor your brekkie sounds lovely - how did you do the fruit? In fact, the whole menu sounds gorgeous - what's your meatball recipe?

Haha,
I´ve just come on to remind myself that YES ! I WILL go for a walk right now.. LOL ( been giving myself reasons for not doing so )

Ehm,
Well both the recipies are from the Hairy Dieters cookbooks

this is a link I´ve found for the crumpets. If it doesn´t work I´ll copy it out for you tomorrow.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/toasted_crumpets_and_99702

Here´s one for the meatballs. They are yum..

https://teatimegems.wordpress.com/2016/01/13/transylvanian-meatballs-garlic-sauce/


Thanks for your support.
Now !

I´m off for that walk.

 

[ladyfelsham]

Well done for getting out there, you will feel great when you're home again!

Those links both worked, and I love the sound of them both, thanks for posting .

 

[Rosenm]

If you give them a try, let me know how you liked them.

Did an hours walk with the dog but not the zumba class I did do 50mins cardio at the gym though.
I have to say, I so wasn't in the mood for either.
So far, so good with the eating but I still haven't had dinner and am feeling quir hungry.
Not in a good mood either..
I think I'll stick to plan and tomorrow is another day

Havea good evening if anyone sees this in the next few hours.

 

[ladyfelsham]

Bad mood or not, you did the exercise hun - that's a real achievement, seriously!

 

[Rosenm]

Sooo ... Yes, a " new day"

I´m feeling better physically. Not feeling quite so fat and bloated.
I went to the gym before work and got in 50mins cardio and worked a little on the arms and legs with weights.
Funny, I was saying to my husband that I´d tried out a new machine, ( The stair stepper ) and how hard it is for me to do pluck up courage to try something new at the gym. I am so very self conscious. As I was saying it, I thought how very silly it is and that I really must " get over" myself. Just do it! So what if I don´t get it right the first time, or I look awkward at the zumba class. It really doesn´t matter, and no doubt most people are more concerned in what they are doing and feeling to take too much notice of what someone else is doing.
Sooo-- I´m going to be a bit more adventurous.

I´m happy to say I stuck to plan yesterday and it´s given me the motivation to do so again today.

B: Banana, Slice of toasted Rye bread spread with 30g of Philadelphia cheese. = 322cals
L: HD Pot Roast Beef, 100g steamed green beans, 150g puréed steamed cauliflower = 444cals
D: HD Bean and veg soup= 290cals

Drinks : 2lts water ( only had about 1.5lts )
Black Coffee x 1
Teas with semi skimmed milk = 80cals

Estimated cals 1,136cals


I know this is really that. " Estimated amout of cals " and that it can vary but my main aim is to eat healthy meals. Meals I enjoy and have some portion control. I´m not, nor do I want to be obsessed in staying within the 1200cals. If this doesn´t work or I find myself having to eat less and less to drop the weight then I´ll have to think again.
Eating a lighter dinner is new to me and I´ve always found it hard as I eat away from home most lunches, but I get home quite late ( even more so when I go to the gym ) so it´s something I want to work on.

Anyway, in short. I´m glad to say that I´m feeling more motivated to get back to a weight I am comfortable at and to work to get there.

Thanks for reading. Have a good day.
xx

Also ate :
1 meatball 75cals aprox

 

[ladyfelsham]

I am so very self conscious. As I was saying it, I thought how very silly it is and that I really must " get over" myself. Just do it! So what if I don´t get it right the first time, or I look awkward at the zumba class. It really doesn´t matter, and no doubt most people are more concerned in what they are doing and feeling to take too much notice of what someone else is doing.
Sooo-- I´m going to be a bit more adventurous.

I'm the same hun - so well done you for throwing those worries aside and getting on with it!

Meals sound great, lots of good veg in there .

 

[Rosenm]

Must make sure I get to the gym again today Susie. ( Didn´t get there this morning and I´m walking the dog at lunch break )

Menu Plan
B: HD Crumpets and spiced berries = 257cals
L: Transylvanian Meat balls ( no sauce ) = 450cals
50g steamed green beans, 200g puréed steamed cauliflower = 71cals
D: HM Ratatoulle = 83 cals
HD: Grapefruit, bacon and avocado salad = 154 cals

Drinks : 2lts water
Black Coffee x 1
Teas with semi skimmed milk = 80cals

Estimated cals 1,015cals
( Like to leave myself a little to " play with" )

Not planned
Mini Kit Kat = 87 cals
"Cafe au Lait" =40 cals

Total = 1,142cals
( no doubt a little more. The bacon was a thick cut and I had more green in the salad than called for in the receipe )

Well, I managed to stick with it yesterday although I didn´t drink quite enough water and pinched a meatball whilst serving up dinner, but it was way better than it could have gone. Had an emotional, tiring afternoon and was very much in that " Sod it mood" Wine, chocolate and general binge were heavily on my mind.
It was a close call.

I actually found myself thinking NO ! I´m a WeMitt ! LOL so thank you all.

I have an important dinner coming up on Saturday. One I´d forgotten about. It´s a set menu and I will be sampling it all. ( It´s to try out the meal that will be served at my daughters wedding ) Sooo. I´d better be extra good till then and after.

I´m having to talk to myself nearly all the time right now. Reminding myself how much I want to do this and how disappointed I get when I let myself down.
Right now ( this moment ) I feel positive, but I feel a trend.. I feel "it" coming on.
So I will commit to coming back on here and reporting how I´ve done at the end of the day. ( Hopefully it will keep me on track )

 

[ladyfelsham]

Well done Rosenm! I'm afraid I was feeling a bit unwell and gave in to the chocolate siren call last night, but it's all gone now .

Love the sound of your salad - I could do that and syn the avo mmm

 

[Rosenm]

Hi Susie,
That Siren shouts loudly and insistent indeed ! Still, After your wonderful drop in weight last week I doubt it will matter at all. Especially as it is now all gone.
I had a mini Kit Kat with a " Cafe au lait" ( Dolce Gusto ) a little while a go but as long as that is it for today I´m within my plan.

 

[ladyfelsham]

I doubt it will matter at all. Especially as it is now all gone. .

LOL I like your thinking! I'm not going to get any more in, but have got some digestive biscuits, about 1.5 syns each, that can be my late night treat if required. My Littles flavoured coffees arrive on Friday, really looking forward to them - am thinking the coconut one, with a little sweetener and maybe some soya milk frothed up, will be pretty delish .

 

[Rosenm]

Well, Well ! I had to look up that coffee Susie. Have you had them before ?
looking forward to hearing how you enjoy them. Or whatever you think of them.

I nearly forgot I´d said I´d report in.
I had a bit of a struggle with that binge monster in my head for a while this afternoon but got through it. Goodness me ! You´d think I´d been doing this for months . I am ashamed to say I felt like a little girl who couldn´t have what she wanted , and felt like throwing a temper tantrum.
Really enjoyed my salad and ratatoulle this evening. ( once I´d stopped behaving like a spoilt brat LOL )

Didn ´t go to the gym today but I walked the dog again this evening after work. Will go tomorrow.

I´m thinking about Saturday. Kknowing that I´ll be eating off plan, and that I won´t be beating myself up about it is helping me. I´m wondering if one " cheat meal " a week would work ?
Ehm, I´ll see how my weigh in goest then think about it some more.

 

[Rosenm]

Feeling more settled today.

Here´s the plan. ( Had breakfast )

B: Rye Bread 118cals , cottage cheese 196cals , 2 cherry toms 6cals = 320cals
L : Homemade Ratatoulle 83cals , 150grams Roast Silverside of beef 276cals = 359cals
D: Veg Bean Soup 290cals , Slice wholemeal bread 87cals , Butter 52cals = 429cals

Water : 2lts
Black coffee : 1
Teas with skimmed milk : 80cals

Estimated Cals: 1188cals

Coming towards the end of the week, running out of the food I prepared at the weekend so time to start making a new menu plan and shopping list.

Must get to the gym at lunchtime as I doubt I´ll be wanting to go this evening.
Interesting to see that the slice of wholemeal bread and butter is about the same calorie count as the mini kit kat and Café au lait from yesterday. Today I feel more like a slice of bread and butter.
All very well when I stick to these either or... Often I´d eat much more than one mini Kit Kat and then I´d still have bread and butter.