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To keep me on track

RareKiwi27

Full Member
S: 14st12lb C: 12st2lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 2st10lb(18.27%)
#1
It’s day 15 for me and I’m -11lbs. I’m so so happy.

I’ve been bobbing between 3 packs some days on others when I’ve done more activity I have 3 meals and a 200 cal meal.

Yesterday I did Yoga with my mum had scramble and salmon, then 2 packs, family BBQ had chicken and rocket/spinach. I’ve been drinking 4 litres of water a day. And have a coffee with milk everyday. My mouth is like a dustbin tastes vile! But the energy is amazing so know I’m in ketosis.

My plan is to continue in this pattern until September 2018 and want to get back into 11s

I have two social arrangements, the gin experience with the telegraph and a burleighs gin picnic in September (theme 😋) so the day before I’ll eat 1000 calories with 40g carbs and then work back down to TS over 2 days.

Life and work stress it my massive issue with triggering binge eating and alcohol consumption. I’ve been through early menopause and some life s**t, but my head is in the space where I’m gonna be true to myself and find who I am again. I working though a CBT binge eating pack alongside doing exante.
 
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Alecto_on_LCD

Silver Member
S: 77.6kg C: 63.2kg G: 55kg BMI: 24.1 Loss: 14.4kg(18.59%)
#2
That's a great loss Kiwi! Way to go! I hear you re work and life triggering food and alcohol. But it is do-able! And in the end, your journey now is to a consistently happier, more resilient, full of coping mechanisms-you. What is a CBT binge eating pack?
 

Alecto_on_LCD

Silver Member
S: 77.6kg C: 63.2kg G: 55kg BMI: 24.1 Loss: 14.4kg(18.59%)
#4
Wow! Thank you. Massively useful!! You are so courageous to be getting on this journey and dealing with it head first. Thank you so much for sharing this information! Upon reading a bit of the first and second pdfs I absolutely fit in one of the categories as well. I am happy I have this diary to keep me accountable for what I'm thinking about my food and restrictions. I did realise that my present mental attitude is not the healthiest but this really puts in in context....
 
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RareKiwi27

Full Member
S: 14st12lb C: 12st2lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 2st10lb(18.27%)
#7
I so regularly self sabotage and the cycle of feeling bad about myself almost was just habit. I realised that food is about control so whether starving myself or over eating its disordered. I’m determined to have a healthy relationship not only with myself but also food. That’s what I’m working towards, I quite regularly feel vulnerable (Brene Browns work has helped me massively).

I know this will be a journey so will just be kind to myself.
 

Lozzal

Full Member
S: 16st8lb C: 15st13.5lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.6 Loss: 0st8.5lb(3.66%)
#8
Its a journey and a massive learning curve. I think this exante experience has helped me do a lot of self examination, recognising things in myself I often chose to not see. A time to reflect, try to put my life and eating in order, and hopefully restart my relationship with food.

Onwards and Downwards, We've got this, Loz x
 

RareKiwi27

Full Member
S: 14st12lb C: 12st2lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 2st10lb(18.27%)
#9
Day 16, yesterday I felt really sad. My marriage is in a **** place. I had my kids and two of their friends playing at home and I felt tired. I reconciled with myself that I just needed to get through the day so drank my water, had my packs and went to bed.

So today my aim is to take the kids to the park and then library my friend is coming over for dinner (she knows I’m fasting). I have no inclination to cheat or fall off plan just the hope that stuff would improve with my husband is diminishing.
 

Ketoveggie

Full Member
S: 12st7lb C: 11st9lb G: 10st1lb BMI: 28.9 Loss: 0st12lb(6.86%)
#10
Day 16, yesterday I felt really sad. My marriage is in a **** place. I had my kids and two of their friends playing at home and I felt tired. I reconciled with myself that I just needed to get through the day so drank my water, had my packs and went to bed.

So today my aim is to take the kids to the park and then library my friend is coming over for dinner (she knows I’m fasting). I have no inclination to cheat or fall off plan just the hope that stuff swould improve with my husband is diminishing.
Hi Kiwi,

I empathise with the feelings behind your words. Something that really helped me to come to terms with a dark situation was to acknowledge the truth that the only person I could ever really change was myself. It allowed me to let go of so much pent up frustration from trying to change something that was not mine to change. Sometimes the best we can do is hold our head up and keep walking forward until we reach a better place. x
 

RareKiwi27

Full Member
S: 14st12lb C: 12st2lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 2st10lb(18.27%)
#11
Ketoveggie thank you for your kind words and you’re absolutely correct. For the first time this journey is for me, I want this for me.
 

Alecto_on_LCD

Silver Member
S: 77.6kg C: 63.2kg G: 55kg BMI: 24.1 Loss: 14.4kg(18.59%)
#12
Day 16, yesterday I felt really sad. My marriage is in a **** place. I had my kids and two of their friends playing at home and I felt tired. I reconciled with myself that I just needed to get through the day so drank my water, had my packs and went to bed.

So today my aim is to take the kids to the park and then library my friend is coming over for dinner (she knows I’m fasting). I have no inclination to cheat or fall off plan just the hope that stuff would improve with my husband is diminishing.
Big hug. I know what it's like :( hang in there dear Kiwi. This is all about the rest of YOUR healthy life and being able to enjoy every second you can with your lovely children. And you are doing amazingly well!! Itd be nice to have your husband's support and things to go well there - but if it's not that is just 1 aspect of your life (albeit important!) and you have so much more - yourself and your future in those areas that DO work (friends, children, you being able to do all the stuff you put your mind to). I'm cheering for you, hang in there. Im hoping things will turn around with you and your husband.
 

a_kelpie

Full Member
S: 223.2lb C: 156.4lb G: 153lb BMI: 23.4 Loss: 66.8lb(29.93%)
#13
Nothing to add to the wise folk above, but just to say I'm thinking of you. Know how it feels.
Keep going with your weight loss, you've made an amazing start!
 

Lozzal

Full Member
S: 16st8lb C: 15st13.5lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.6 Loss: 0st8.5lb(3.66%)
#14
Big hugs hun. True to say this is one thing you can be in control of, and it is a big thing, and one that can really help you feel proud and pleased with yourself. Your doing fab Loz x
 

RareKiwi27

Full Member
S: 14st12lb C: 12st2lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 2st10lb(18.27%)
#16
Thank you for all your support I’ve survived day 16.

Did my inches earlier - 6 lost over my entire body I’m buzzing.
 

Alecto_on_LCD

Silver Member
S: 77.6kg C: 63.2kg G: 55kg BMI: 24.1 Loss: 14.4kg(18.59%)
#17
Awesome, Kiwi! Hurray!!😺
 

RareKiwi27

Full Member
S: 14st12lb C: 12st2lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 2st10lb(18.27%)
#19
Today has been uneventful I’ve been to work.

I’ve reflected on traumas in my life, addiction and hope. I’ve re read the four agreements.

Because of my job I have clinical supervision, my supervisor has been so so helpful in building my own insight. I’ve also made sure I’ve up’d my self care. Went to the library and got a book to read, had a actual break at lunch (water in hand sat in works garden), booked myself a pedicure and have been going to bed at a reasonable time. Feel really damn excited.

Helped by the fact today my boss got her 5 stone award on CWP! Motivated levels high
 
S: 12st0.0lb C: 10st6.4lb G: 9st0.0lb BMI: 25.9 Loss: 1st7.6lb(12.86%)
#20
Congrats so far and also for giving yourself some non food related treats. We should treat ourselves regularly in life :)
 


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