TOUGH LOVE-APPLY WITHIN

Not to be a noob, but what is that thing you are holding up to the fish?

I have my weigh in tomorrow, definitely expecting a decent loss. If not, I will need some extreme tough love to establish my pitfalls! Its my OH's birthday tomorrow, and as his birthday special meal treat he has chosen... my extra lean home-made burgers, slimming world chips and salad. What a awesome, considerate bf I have :D

you do have a great OH there LIsaJade, whip that man up the aisle pronto!

The "thing" is called a boga grip, you grip the bass on the lower lip with it, stops them thrashing around and cutting you up as they have VERY sharp spines and razor edged gill rakes, the little ones are worse than the big ones for thrashing about - that one is about 1.5lbs, my best is just over 6lb and 62cm and the British record is 19lbs something - they are majestic fish and the ones you see on the fish counter at Tesco don't do them justice one bit!
 
AAAARRRRGHHHHHBOOOOFEEECK! I put on half a stinking fecking pound! It is SO unfair - I have stuck to the plan 100% this week, have been drinking loads of water and have walked the legs off the dog doing so much exercise. So bloody fed up, especially as it is only my second week - usually the first few are easy peasy. I could live with it if I had cheated, but I did everything right! And to add to my misery I have just eaten a pizza because I was so pissed off (supermarket mind, not dominoes - it could be worse).

I know I will get on it this week, pull out the big guns and start running again (did a half marathon last year) and I know that I have to keep the big piture in mind, but it is really hard. Please tough lovers, give my big buttocks a kicking - or I may well drown in all this self pity. Boohooooo!

week 2 eh?

where did you buy the pizza?

I live in the same town as you, I'm gonna have to have a word with the store manager ain't I?

come on sister, we have people that have walked this path for months, years even, this is not fair at all on the Tribe of TL is it?

look yourself in the eye and say you didn't cheat.

half a pound is jack-squat anyway. I don't even take notice of half pounds, my scales are full pounds only.

You can dump that with a haircut and shave.

Suggest you look at the big picture. But it doesn't require a pizza in the frame.

consider yoself ticked off. But well done for fessing up. I fee like a catholic priest, FECK!
 
Normally when OH is out for the evening, that's when I have my binges (we are both binge eaters, but never in front of each other!).


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you sound like you plan it! woo, that was grim

well done on the new regime

binge is such a disgusting word. I suppose we've all done it, but it makes me feel sick!

I binged on cherries tonight, half a bag whilst riding the trolley round Tesco!! lol
 
AAAARRRRGHHHHHBOOOOFEEECK! I put on half a stinking fecking pound! It is SO unfair - I have stuck to the plan 100% this week, have been drinking loads of water and have walked the legs off the dog doing so much exercise. So bloody fed up, especially as it is only my second week - usually the first few are easy peasy. I could live with it if I had cheated, but I did everything right! And to add to my misery I have just eaten a pizza because I was so pissed off (supermarket mind, not dominoes - it could be worse).

I know I will get on it this week, pull out the big guns and start running again (did a half marathon last year) and I know that I have to keep the big piture in mind, but it is really hard. Please tough lovers, give my big buttocks a kicking - or I may well drown in all this self pity. Boohooooo!

its disappointing when you gain and you feel its unjustified, but are you sure it was unjustified? when i was quite frankly titting about on sw, i would get all sulky and claim id been so good, and be so appalled at the unjustice of a gain or sts, then it would dawn on me that i had actually had 3 days of not being 100% on plan, id had nibbles of stuff and not counted it and conveniently forgotten about it....and idid forget..i was that programmed to deny to myself what id eaten that i would eat it and block it out....then when i would sit and be honest id had loads of extra syns..so...are you REALLY sticking to plan? not forgetting about stuff, forgetting about weighing stuff? having flexi syn days etc? if you can sit and know 100% you have been perfect then your next port of call (i presume your doing sw) is to check how many snacks your having? i dont care if they are free or super free...food aint free, everything has a calorie content and if your like i was and sit eating pasta, eggs, abundance of fruit and yogurt on a night, your not going to shift them pounds...i know and it took me a year to realise it. cut the snacking. you dont need them, only one light one after a work out. it wont kill you not to snack. as for the pizza, you cant undo it, move on, learn from it. cut syns back the rest of the week to compensate for it and keep on with the exercise.
 
its disappointing when you gain and you feel its unjustified

that was a great post Lou but I want to say this for everyone's benfit and clarity - EVERY time I've gained, its been justified.

Don't matter what you feel, rake over the week before and you will find the pitfall that nailed you. Likely you know it and have chosen to ignore it

You can't follow the plan, exercise properly and gain. It aint designed for that. None of us are bodybuilders.

it's either women stuff which I don't do or understand obviously, or a cheat

no-one means to cheat, but it happens.

Don't let it happen. Your hands do that to you. And your mind lets them.

the difference on this thread is when you slip up and confess, it's not OK.

if you need to know this and have it reinforced time and again, thats cool.

this thread is for those times.

good night
 
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Minor blip last night- I went swimming (Yay!) but I didn't have time to eat before I went to a 4th July Party (Lots of American Friends). I managed to stay under my calorie allowance (Just!) but I still snacked a little bit more than I wanted to and I had a burger too. I suppose it could have been worse. All I know is that I was SO hungry after swimming. Lesson learned: Post swimming snack is necessary. As is taking healthy food to a barbeque. (I really should have learned from all the BBQ stuff over the weekend)

Like a Boy Scout, I really need to be prepared.
 
I'm back to account for myself! Going on holiday at the weekend and trying to get act together. I went off and weighed myself after a month of avoiding it to find I've basically stayed the same. I'm now 12st 7. Don't know why I was avoiding the scales I was just stressing about it and was convinced I'd put on half a stone. Anyway in the past 3 days I have been on plan all day but 2 nights I have had a glass of wine and ate stuff I hadn't intended to eat. Nothing really awful - it would have been if there was any awful food in the house but thankfully I just didn't have any access to it! The lesson is I've got to ditch the drink! Now I'm no alcoholic but I have definitely got into a bad habit of using a glass of wine as a quick me time/relaxing kind of thing. I need to find some other way of feeling as if I've given myself a wee pat on the back at the end of the day. Like everyone else I'm time poor and I've got used to this being my treat. Also at the end of the day I'm sometimes so blasted tired that even the thought of something like a nice bath etc feels like too much effort. Hence sit on sofa drink wine...No good. Kicking required!
 
Minor blip last night- I went swimming (Yay!) but I didn't have time to eat before I went to a 4th July Party (Lots of American Friends). I managed to stay under my calorie allowance (Just!) but I still snacked a little bit more than I wanted to and I had a burger too. I suppose it could have been worse. All I know is that I was SO hungry after swimming. Lesson learned: Post swimming snack is necessary. As is taking healthy food to a barbeque. (I really should have learned from all the BBQ stuff over the weekend)

Like a Boy Scout, I really need to be prepared.

im a bit confused? you say you was UNDER your calorie allowance? thats good right? had you not had your snacks then you would have been way under and thats not good for you, this isnt a race or competition as to who can eat the least, look after yourself and dont be starving yourself, its not good lady!!!!!

I'm back to account for myself! Going on holiday at the weekend and trying to get act together. I went off and weighed myself after a month of avoiding it to find I've basically stayed the same. I'm now 12st 7. Don't know why I was avoiding the scales I was just stressing about it and was convinced I'd put on half a stone. Anyway in the past 3 days I have been on plan all day but 2 nights I have had a glass of wine and ate stuff I hadn't intended to eat. Nothing really awful - it would have been if there was any awful food in the house but thankfully I just didn't have any access to it! The lesson is I've got to ditch the drink! Now I'm no alcoholic but I have definitely got into a bad habit of using a glass of wine as a quick me time/relaxing kind of thing. I need to find some other way of feeling as if I've given myself a wee pat on the back at the end of the day. Like everyone else I'm time poor and I've got used to this being my treat. Also at the end of the day I'm sometimes so blasted tired that even the thought of something like a nice bath etc feels like too much effort. Hence sit on sofa drink wine...No good. Kicking required!

excuses, excuses....were all great at these eh? so your tired and you cant be bothered to run a bath but you can be bothered to get up and down and snack all night? that wont get you where you want to be. a glass of wine is ok, if you have enough syns/cals left, you dont have to live on rabbit food to lose weight. if its taking you over your allowance for the day and then your getting in the mind set of 'oh well ive blown it now i may aswell have what i want' then you either need to budget for it better, or like you say cut it out completely. if your tired on a night, get a bath, get your pj's on and go to bed and read a book, that is much better for the mind and body than a glass of wone and crap food, and youll wake in the morning feeling smug :D it doesnt take long to break or form a habit and your in control...decided what youd like to do, lose weight or excuse yourself for snacking and drinking wine and not lose any weight. instead of wine perhaps get some sparkling water and nas juice and drink it out of a wine glass, it will feel like a treat and your getting fluids inside you WIN-WIN ive done this many times before :)
 
its disappointing when you gain and you feel its unjustified, but are you sure it was unjustified? when i was quite frankly titting about on sw, i would get all sulky and claim id been so good, and be so appalled at the unjustice of a gain or sts, then it would dawn on me that i had actually had 3 days of not being 100% on plan, id had nibbles of stuff and not counted it and conveniently forgotten about it....and idid forget..i was that programmed to deny to myself what id eaten that i would eat it and block it out....then when i would sit and be honest id had loads of extra syns..so...are you REALLY sticking to plan? not forgetting about stuff, forgetting about weighing stuff? having flexi syn days etc? if you can sit and know 100% you have been perfect then your next port of call (i presume your doing sw) is to check how many snacks your having? i dont care if they are free or super free...food aint free, everything has a calorie content and if your like i was and sit eating pasta, eggs, abundance of fruit and yogurt on a night, your not going to shift them pounds...i know and it took me a year to realise it. cut the snacking. you dont need them, only one light one after a work out. it wont kill you not to snack. as for the pizza, you cant undo it, move on, learn from it. cut syns back the rest of the week to compensate for it and keep on with the exercise.

Thanks Lou, I totally get what you are saying about SW - it only works if you eat the 'free' stuff within reason. Because I did weightwatchers for so many years, I have a sort of internal points library in my head - and very often I 'point' what I have eaten, as well as staying within the SW plan - so it is not like I am eating huge portions of pasta and rice or anything, and I even laid off the mullerlights, which SW kind of encourages you to eat 24hrs a day, as I remember then being 2 'points' each.

I can hand on heart say that I have been really, really good - the only thing I didn't do is weigh my musli, and after pouring what I thougth was 30g last night to check I probably have been eating about double that every day. But FFS, over a week, that is only an extra 350 calories - aren't there supposed to be 3500 in a lb? Aaaaaargh!

Ironically though, I am fitting into clothes which were a little bit tighter last week despite putting on, so I think it might be a fluid thing. But being so dependant on seeing little losses each week, it is really hard to see the big picture. And it feels like a week of wasted time.

Anyway, thanks all (and Rod below) for the whipping - the pizza was stupid but within my flexible syn limit, and having had a bit of an indulgence I feel like I can start afresh this week. After all, 6lbs in two weeks is something to be happy about I suppose. Will run tonight and see a massive loss next week.

Thanks all.
 
Do you know what the problem with diet plans like SW and WW is?? So called "free foods".... Seriously, this has been where Ive always been caught out with dieting previously. For most people trying to lose weight, all we want to do is feel satisfied, not deprived and eat what we like. In order to lure people into the diet world, these big "caring" diet companies do their homework and realise this, so they offer plans that have "free" foods...... For the majority, this is like telling a heroin addict that they can have as much methadone as they want...... its wrong.... Ive been there done that, gorged on all the free foods inbetween my "good" counted meals, and then been so disappointed at my losses.....
Its all about eating good nutritious foods when you are hungry..... only. Not trying to fill a void inbetween with anything... Eating high sugar processed foods is going to send your body into a spiral. Eat foods as near to its natural state as possible. Eat GOOD carbs, stay away from white foods... Everyone who has a weight problem, if asked will most likely say its because they love food too much...... no, we dont, and until a few months ago, I said the same, but I didnt, I ate crap, shoved it in, never tasted it, and ate it for the sake of it. I now eat beautiful, real food, food that has taste, food that really fills me up, that I can eat with my family, not trying to cook a separate meal where I end up sneaking some of theirs anyway because its what I really want, but I can have more of the tasteless stuff that Ive cooked... Since Ive realised this, with the help of Slimpods, and let go of the shackles of diet foods and diet head, Ive turned my whole thinking around. Now, I eat 3 small meals a day, protein based, with a little bit of carbs, I have one snack, usually desserty but its "OMG" SHOCK HORROR, full fat greek yogurt!!! a great source of protein with some berries..... sweet tooth, sorted.
So anyone struggling on a diet, review what you are doing.... you dont need to struggle, you need to feed your body properly with good proper food... You need to REALLY love food, not abuse yourself with it... If you keep forcing yourself to eat foods that you dont really want to, you are setting yourself up to fail.

Seriously, since I worked all this out, the stress is gone. Im going to get to where I want to get, because Ive stopped "dieting", Im just eating good food, in smaller amounts, and keeping a tally on MFP because I dont quite trust myself yet, but that will come when Im further along the road. This is about living, and no one can diet for life.... I tried for 20 years, and Im still the same weight..... Change how you think, get where you want to get.

DO IT.
 
week 2 eh?

where did you buy the pizza?

I live in the same town as you, I'm gonna have to have a word with the store manager ain't I?

come on sister, we have people that have walked this path for months, years even, this is not fair at all on the Tribe of TL is it?

!

You are right. Sorry tribe, I let you down. It won't happen again!
 
I'm back to account for myself! Going on holiday at the weekend and trying to get act together. I went off and weighed myself after a month of avoiding it to find I've basically stayed the same. I'm now 12st 7. Don't know why I was avoiding the scales I was just stressing about it and was convinced I'd put on half a stone. Anyway in the past 3 days I have been on plan all day but 2 nights I have had a glass of wine and ate stuff I hadn't intended to eat. Nothing really awful - it would have been if there was any awful food in the house but thankfully I just didn't have any access to it! The lesson is I've got to ditch the drink! Now I'm no alcoholic but I have definitely got into a bad habit of using a glass of wine as a quick me time/relaxing kind of thing. I need to find some other way of feeling as if I've given myself a wee pat on the back at the end of the day. Like everyone else I'm time poor and I've got used to this being my treat. Also at the end of the day I'm sometimes so blasted tired that even the thought of something like a nice bath etc feels like too much effort. Hence sit on sofa drink wine...No good. Kicking required!

I've said it before and I'm right. Booze is low GI, has plenty of non-filling calories and LOWERS your willpower! Have you ever woken up with a half - chewed kebab (or worse!) after a night on the sauce?

Yep ,me too. Proof therein that things you wouldn't do sober, you will do, even after the most modest of alcoholic intakes

Swear the plonk off for 1 month and you will be a new person, I've had two "sessions" and nothing at all moderate since I kicked off, the sessions took me three days to recover from.

Moderation drinking doesn't appeal to me thankfully, all or nothing, so nothing it is! The "odd glass" nightly turning into two on fri and sat night, will skid you off course

excuses will get you no-where. Hard truth will get you to goal
 
Do you know what the problem with diet plans like SW and WW is?? So called "free foods".... Seriously, this has been where Ive always been caught out with dieting previously. For most people trying to lose weight, all we want to do is feel satisfied, not deprived and eat what we like. In order to lure people into the diet world, these big "caring" diet companies do their homework and realise this, so they offer plans that have "free" foods...... For the majority, this is like telling a heroin addict that they can have as much methadone as they want...... its wrong.... Ive been there done that, gorged on all the free foods inbetween my "good" counted meals, and then been so disappointed at my losses.....
Its all about eating good nutritious foods when you are hungry..... only. Not trying to fill a void inbetween with anything... Eating high sugar processed foods is going to send your body into a spiral. Eat foods as near to its natural state as possible. Eat GOOD carbs, stay away from white foods... Everyone who has a weight problem, if asked will most likely say its because they love food too much...... no, we dont, and until a few months ago, I said the same, but I didnt, I ate crap, shoved it in, never tasted it, and ate it for the sake of it. I now eat beautiful, real food, food that has taste, food that really fills me up, that I can eat with my family, not trying to cook a separate meal where I end up sneaking some of theirs anyway because its what I really want, but I can have more of the tasteless stuff that Ive cooked... Since Ive realised this, with the help of Slimpods, and let go of the shackles of diet foods and diet head, Ive turned my whole thinking around. Now, I eat 3 small meals a day, protein based, with a little bit of carbs, I have one snack, usually desserty but its "OMG" SHOCK HORROR, full fat greek yogurt!!! a great source of protein with some berries..... sweet tooth, sorted.
So anyone struggling on a diet, review what you are doing.... you dont need to struggle, you need to feed your body properly with good proper food... You need to REALLY love food, not abuse yourself with it... If you keep forcing yourself to eat foods that you dont really want to, you are setting yourself up to fail.

Seriously, since I worked all this out, the stress is gone. Im going to get to where I want to get, because Ive stopped "dieting", Im just eating good food, in smaller amounts, and keeping a tally on MFP because I dont quite trust myself yet, but that will come when Im further along the road. This is about living, and no one can diet for life.... I tried for 20 years, and Im still the same weight..... Change how you think, get where you want to get.

DO IT.

great post Clarri, may I ask, judging by your post, you appear to be Primal/paleo thinking? maybe I'm wrong, I don't "do" or "follow" any "diets" I just sort of wing it my way with common sense and a view on calories and saturated fat. So very poorly qualified to comment on Sw or anything else TBH - hence I'm glad that Exi/GF/Lou/yourself etc, all chip in, I can do the motivation, but I'm very untechnical knowledge wise. I have no idea what Slimpod is for example!

discuss freely with me via PM please if poss, I am sort of veering that way, but conscious that the losses are slower and I am thinking more towards this method when maintaining - I def want to lose another stone before I jump in, but research is seriously underway now

any insight you could give me on this would be appreciated
 
Hi bassers,

I normally weigh on a fri (as it keeps me honest for the weekend :) but had to weigh this morn as heading away tonight. Pleased to report a pound loss...after 3days back on the wagon. Good to be off the blocks again!!
Going to a concert tonight (bringing snacks to avoid the old burger vans) but need to keep my motivation going strong.
 
great post Clarri, may I ask, judging by your post, you appear to be Primal/paleo thinking? maybe I'm wrong, I don't "do" or "follow" any "diets" I just sort of wing it my way with common sense and a view on calories and saturated fat. So very poorly qualified to comment on Sw or anything else TBH - hence I'm glad that Exi/GF/Lou/yourself etc, all chip in, I can do the motivation, but I'm very untechnical knowledge wise. I have no idea what Slimpod is for example!

discuss freely with me via PM please if poss, I am sort of veering that way, but conscious that the losses are slower and I am thinking more towards this method when maintaining - I def want to lose another stone before I jump in, but research is seriously underway now

any insight you could give me on this would be appreciated

It is horses for courses, obviously, but I do feel like I have to defend Slimming World here. Firstly, I am not attributing my loss to scoffing too many 'free' foods - as I said above, I have 'double checked' the portions I am eating by counting weight watchers points at the end of the day (which themselves are based on calories) just to check that I am not overdoing it, and I haven't been. This weeks gain was a bit of a freak incident, because I did exactly the same thing the week before and lost 6.5lbs.

But this week aside, I have done Slimming World in the past and lost in excess of 1 1/2 stone on it, so I know it works. The weight didn't stay off, because as soon as I had fitted into my bridesmaid dress, I thought 'ah stuff it now I will eat what I like'. Slimming World really does teach you healthy eating habits - the 'free' foods are not sugary cereal bars or diet products, they are in the main, fruit, veggies and complex carbs. Because they are filling, by not restricting yourself from eating them, you fill up on low-energy dense foods and naturally eat less of the high-energy dense foods, like dairy products and bread etc. It works because you don't have to weigh or count everything that goes in your mouth, and also (perhaps more importantly) because you don't ever feel hungry, which leads to a feeling of deprivation. It is quite easy to forget you are 'dieting'.

Just arguing the case! That's not to say there are other options out there, the key is finding the one that works for you and more importantly, sticking to it!!
 
It is horses for courses, obviously, but I do feel like I have to defend Slimming World here. Firstly, I am not attributing my loss to scoffing too many 'free' foods - as I said above, I have 'double checked' the portions I am eating by counting weight watchers points at the end of the day (which themselves are based on calories) just to check that I am not overdoing it, and I haven't been. This weeks gain was a bit of a freak incident, because I did exactly the same thing the week before and lost 6.5lbs.

But this week aside, I have done Slimming World in the past and lost in excess of 1 1/2 stone on it, so I know it works. The weight didn't stay off, because as soon as I had fitted into my bridesmaid dress, I thought 'ah stuff it now I will eat what I like'. Slimming World really does teach you healthy eating habits - the 'free' foods are not sugary cereal bars or diet products, they are in the main, fruit, veggies and complex carbs. Because they are filling, by not restricting yourself from eating them, you fill up on low-energy dense foods and naturally eat less of the high-energy dense foods, like dairy products and bread etc. It works because you don't have to weigh or count everything that goes in your mouth, and also (perhaps more importantly) because you don't ever feel hungry, which leads to a feeling of deprivation. It is quite easy to forget you are 'dieting'.

Just arguing the case! That's not to say there are other options out there, the key is finding the one that works for you and more importantly, sticking to it!!

I have to agree. I have never eaten such a well-balanced and healthy diet in my life. You have to like cooking, though as it's all good, fresh stuff. It's not the same as WW. And what's very refreshing is that they DON'T try to sell you anything, unlike WW.
 
Patchninja said:
I have to agree. I have never eaten such a well-balanced and healthy diet in my life. You have to like cooking, though as it's all good, fresh stuff. It's not the same as WW. And what's very refreshing is that they DON'T try to sell you anything, unlike WW.

I agree as well. I have tried calorie counting and tried just eaton healthily - I even tried forcing myself into the gym before work most mornings and didn't lose a thing really (odd lb or 2 here and there but it went straight back on despite sticking with he routine). SW is the only Thing that has worked so far for me, and they don't push too much 'preaching' on you either. I know several people with a few stone lost on SW so that's why I decided to try it.

I use veg, protein, fruit and salad as my staple free foods - and I limit myself to one muller light per day. I have reduced my carb intake too. I think that even if you are following SW/WW etc then you need to still use your common sense - if you eat 10 mullet light per day you can't expect them all to be free.

Working well for me so far especially with the support offered in this forum. Everyone is different so what works for me might be disastrous for someone else. Ultimately it's about adapting your thinking so that you think before you put something in your mouth that you will regret. I don't know the principles of the plan you are following but maybe you could explain the main points so SW'ers know what you mean?!
 
Not sure about the slow losses on 'plans' either - I lost 6lbs last week and when I have done it previously, have lost easily 2.5 - 4lbs a week just following it to the letter. Whether that will happen this time round remains to be seen I suppose, dammned 0.5lb gain!!
 
Hilarious and great thread! If Rod needs a break, I'm available to step in. By way of credentials, I'm a rugby coach and I love nothing better than to make nine-year-olds do press-ups in the mud! So telling a few fellow porkers to buck their ideas up wouldn't even register on my callous-o-meter....
 
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