TOUGH LOVE-APPLY WITHIN

Oh Sparty :-( So sorry. Did you deserve to loose this week?

I really don't know Bonnie - I have stuck to my calorie allowance with the exception of Saturday when I had a planned night out and went over by 250 (so not a huge amount). I didn't do as much exercise as the previous week but still went to boot camp and for a walk yesterday. I'm not going to give a load of excuses as to why I STS - I simply don't have any.

I haven't posted this week as I wanted to wait until I had some good news to post but looking at it honestly, there is obviously somewhere I am going wrong because if I was doing it all 100% right then I wouldn't be gaining or STS. Maybe I am having too many calories? I went up to 1350 from 1200 on advice from a few people around the minimins world (not just TL) that maybe 1200 wasn't enough. But I guess 1350 is too much for me??

I can say things like 'my body needs to adjust to the new diet method' as I stopped SW and started calorie counting but I don't think it's that. My bf last night said that I am gaining muscle from boot camp - but muscle does NOT weigh more than fat. It has more mass than fat but does not weigh more. And I cant have built up that much muscle as to have a 2lb gain I dont think? Anyway he suggested going back to SW as that at least worked for a little while so I am going to try that but change the plan I was on to red days instead of extra easy (which basically means more protein and less carbs).

I will continue to use MFP as a reference to track how many calories I am using on SW and will try to up my exercise a little again. I just feel like the last week I was really demotivated from my gain. I didn't sabotage myself with food which I am happy about but obviously something needs to change.

Added to this is the fact that I only have a week to go until my posh spa holiday and I know I will put some weight on due to the rich restaurant food. I was hoping to minimalise the damage through exercise while I am there but if I put on and STS when I AM trying......god knows what I will be when I get back. Part of me is thinking 'well I might as well wait until I get back now' but I don't want to fail and waste a week and a half. I feel a bit like I am the naughty kid at the back of the class as you are all doing so well. Rod I will try to join you in having a loss over the next 7 days and will consider myself still banned from the lounge.

So there you go, I have faced up to the scales and I am not happy about it. I guess now I need to refocus because I can see myself easily falling into feeling sorry for myself and not trying as hard as I should and I DON'T WANT THAT!
 
Sparty - read my post I put up a day or so ago, about reviewing what you do before you go off on a mad tangent - you have only STS (not gained) and with a weekend full of willpower, that will be a drop on monday, so think - two days away to good news!

you are so close, it is going to be hard - you're 6lbs from goal

its going to be hard

its going to be hard

get that in your head because its true

exercise will be a massive key to getitng across the line so review that as well!

now do it sister, weekends are full of free time, the sun will be shining - you can make a BIG difference to that little frame in 48 hours

plan it, do it and drive on....
 
its' friday so it must be weigh day

yep!

and BOOM, back to being a loser!

15-10, 2lbs off, giving the weekend my Paddington Bear stare....

updating stats right now...

thats 61lbs lost since Feb 27

thats tough love

thanks everyone for the help and the steerage

motivated now beyond words, 15-7 here I come
 
well done rod!!! see little changes make all the difference!

sparty i am doing red days too and also tracking on MFP, hope a little change gets ur scales moving down too :) x
 
...muscle does NOT weigh more than fat. It has more mass than fat but does not weigh more...
Dunno who told you that, sparty, but it's a complete crock.

Here's what makes up your mass (mass is essentially the same as weight, unless you leave the planet)

1) Skeleton - hardly changes at all once you stop growing between age 21-25
2) Organs - change slightly with weight loss and exercise (your heart will get bigger, your liver will get smaller) but only in the order of ounces
3) Muscle - Built from the protein you eat, and increases SIGNIFICANTLY with exercise levels. A very fit person will have up to 20kg more than a sedentary person, professional athletes between 20-30kg more and bodybuilders up to 40kg more.
4) Bodily fluids - blood, lymph, stored glycogen. Can vary a lot from day to day depending on nutrition and hydration, up to 2kgs
5) Residual gut contents - what you ate that you haven't excreted yet. Can be quite a fair amount sometimes, maybe a kilo.
6) Fat tissue - yeah, that's why we're all here. Technically it's a long term energy store for your body, so if you eat less calories than you use, it will disappear.

I'm not sure how fit you were before, but I know that you're heading towards the 'very fit' level now. Look at number 3 - if you just sat in the office all day and sat in front of the telly all night before you started your life changes, then you're going to gain TWENTY KILOS of weight in the form of muscle. And that's all good stuff - you don't want it to be depressing you, you should feel ON FIRE about it.

My advice (I think I said this before) to you is to stop weighing yourself. You've become a slave to a set of scales, instead of concentrating on how you look and feel. Start measuring yourself in other ways - inches around the waist and hips are good, since you can't build up muscle there. And measure how fit you are - find out how many sit ups, press ups you can do in a minute, how fast you can run a mile, how much you can bench press or bicep curl. Write them down in a notebook instead of your weight, then try and beat them every week.

And please, please, please, if you do drop to 1200 calories, make sure you get enough protein, and take a good multivitamin (e.g. Centrum) every day.
 
I really don't know Bonnie - I have stuck to my calorie allowance with the exception of Saturday when I had a planned night out and went over by 250 (so not a huge amount). I didn't do as much exercise as the previous week but still went to boot camp and for a walk yesterday. I'm not going to give a load of excuses as to why I STS - I simply don't have any.

I haven't posted this week as I wanted to wait until I had some good news to post but looking at it honestly, there is obviously somewhere I am going wrong because if I was doing it all 100% right then I wouldn't be gaining or STS. Maybe I am having too many calories? I went up to 1350 from 1200 on advice from a few people around the minimins world (not just TL) that maybe 1200 wasn't enough. But I guess 1350 is too much for me??

I can say things like 'my body needs to adjust to the new diet method' as I stopped SW and started calorie counting but I don't think it's that. My bf last night said that I am gaining muscle from boot camp - but muscle does NOT weigh more than fat. It has more mass than fat but does not weigh more. And I cant have built up that much muscle as to have a 2lb gain I dont think? Anyway he suggested going back to SW as that at least worked for a little while so I am going to try that but change the plan I was on to red days instead of extra easy (which basically means more protein and less carbs).

I will continue to use MFP as a reference to track how many calories I am using on SW and will try to up my exercise a little again. I just feel like the last week I was really demotivated from my gain. I didn't sabotage myself with food which I am happy about but obviously something needs to change.

Added to this is the fact that I only have a week to go until my posh spa holiday and I know I will put some weight on due to the rich restaurant food. I was hoping to minimalise the damage through exercise while I am there but if I put on and STS when I AM trying......god knows what I will be when I get back. Part of me is thinking 'well I might as well wait until I get back now' but I don't want to fail and waste a week and a half. I feel a bit like I am the naughty kid at the back of the class as you are all doing so well. Rod I will try to join you in having a loss over the next 7 days and will consider myself still banned from the lounge.

So there you go, I have faced up to the scales and I am not happy about it. I guess now I need to refocus because I can see myself easily falling into feeling sorry for myself and not trying as hard as I should and I DON'T WANT THAT!

I totally understand how you feel. Can you feel a difference in your clothes?
 
Sorry Sparty, also meant to say - it is frustrating when you are being told different things by different people, but for what it's worth, I am on 1200 cals a day and I am 11st7 - with 3 decent exercise sessions a week, I am loosing 2lbs. My mum says when she was at her slimmest (9st) she was eating under 1000 cals a day to keep loosing. So maybe you could try cutting the cals for one week only and seeing if it works. I know it sounds extreme, but it isn't forever.
 
Loolahoop - whats your MFP name? I am sooze10 if you want to add me.

Bonnie - It is frustrating but it's nobody's fault. They say that everyone works differently so I can't expect that everything people suggest will work for me. My clothes hda been feeling a bit better but yesterday I was really bloated for some reason - I guess I just ate too much yesterday.

tbh I had a right wobbly last night as I weighed myself early after a full days eating - and I went out for dinner last night but stayed within my cal allowance. The scales showed that I had put on another pound and it took lots of tears, cuddles from bf and calming down to see that if I usually weigh on a Friday morning then I should always weigh on a Friday morning. So I did it again this morning and I had STS from last week - not put on a pound.

I am going to try and do more exercise over the weekend and weigh in again on Monday to see if it has made any difference. Thankfully I don't have any nights out planned so there is no reason why food will be a problem. I can make time for exercise I am sure. I will do some planning for next week's meals as well and make sure I get plenty of fresh fruit, veg and salad.
 
Dunno who told you that, sparty, but it's a complete crock.

Here's what makes up your mass (mass is essentially the same as weight, unless you leave the planet)

1) Skeleton - hardly changes at all once you stop growing between age 21-25
2) Organs - change slightly with weight loss and exercise (your heart will get bigger, your liver will get smaller) but only in the order of ounces
3) Muscle - Built from the protein you eat, and increases SIGNIFICANTLY with exercise levels. A very fit person will have up to 20kg more than a sedentary person, professional athletes between 20-30kg more and bodybuilders up to 40kg more.
4) Bodily fluids - blood, lymph, stored glycogen. Can vary a lot from day to day depending on nutrition and hydration, up to 2kgs
5) Residual gut contents - what you ate that you haven't excreted yet. Can be quite a fair amount sometimes, maybe a kilo.
6) Fat tissue - yeah, that's why we're all here. Technically it's a long term energy store for your body, so if you eat less calories than you use, it will disappear.

I'm not sure how fit you were before, but I know that you're heading towards the 'very fit' level now. Look at number 3 - if you just sat in the office all day and sat in front of the telly all night before you started your life changes, then you're going to gain TWENTY KILOS of weight in the form of muscle. And that's all good stuff - you don't want it to be depressing you, you should feel ON FIRE about it.

My advice (I think I said this before) to you is to stop weighing yourself. You've become a slave to a set of scales, instead of concentrating on how you look and feel. Start measuring yourself in other ways - inches around the waist and hips are good, since you can't build up muscle there. And measure how fit you are - find out how many sit ups, press ups you can do in a minute, how fast you can run a mile, how much you can bench press or bicep curl. Write them down in a notebook instead of your weight, then try and beat them every week.

And please, please, please, if you do drop to 1200 calories, make sure you get enough protein, and take a good multivitamin (e.g. Centrum) every day.

Hi Smiley, I think they said it because there was a huge debate going on in one thread about a pound of muscle weighing more than a pound of fat - obviously this is not true as they both weigh the same! Then they started talking about density, mass etc and I must have gotten confused.
 
I have said this before, but I'll say it again. Sometimes weight loss is a bit of a mystery . . . How would you feel if you lost 4lb over two weeks? Good? Here are some of the combinations this could happen in (I won't bore you with fractions!):

0,4
1,3
2,2
3,1
4,0

After two weeks you have still lost 4lb, but how does each combination make you feel?

0,4 crap first week, brilliant second
1,3 disappointed first week, brilliant the second
2,2 fantastic - my plan really works and I'm amazing at it
3,1 great first week, disappointed second
4,0 elated first week, back to square one the second

It's a journey and you have to look at the bigger picture. This is not drawing a line under things but looking at improving your healthy eating, increasing your exercise, staying positive, planning and not giving up because you are making these positive changes for life. Small changes, tweaks here and there, will all add up and get you where you want to be, so stick with it because the scales will thank you next week, and if not then the week after.
 
Hi Smiley, I think they said it because there was a huge debate going on in one thread about a pound of muscle weighing more than a pound of fat - obviously this is not true as they both weigh the same! Then they started talking about density, mass etc and I must have gotten confused.
There's a lot of myths around this place, sadly. Here's the Smiley Super Simple Science:

Part of your weight is body fat, and eating less calories than you use will cause this to get lighter. Part of your body weight is muscles, and doing more exercise will cause this to get heavier.

You can't simply "convert fat to muscle" - it doesn't work that way. You can be both fat and muscly at the same time - if you think about it my legs are used to hauling around 20-odd stones, so they can hardly be weak, can they? You can also be un-fat and un-fit.
 
I have said this before, but I'll say it again. Sometimes weight loss is a bit of a mystery . . . How would you feel if you lost 4lb over two weeks? Good? Here are some of the combinations this could happen in (I won't bore you with fractions!):

0,4
1,3
2,2
3,1
4,0

After two weeks you have still lost 4lb, but how does each combination make you feel?

0,4 crap first week, brilliant second
1,3 disappointed first week, brilliant the second
2,2 fantastic - my plan really works and I'm amazing at it
3,1 great first week, disappointed second
4,0 elated first week, back to square one the second

It's a journey and you have to look at the bigger picture. This is not drawing a line under things but looking at improving your healthy eating, increasing your exercise, staying positive, planning and not giving up because you are making these positive changes for life. Small changes, tweaks here and there, will all add up and get you where you want to be, so stick with it because the scales will thank you next week, and if not then the week after.

there you go

plain old common sense and perspective

nice post Sally
 
Have had a lovely expensive shopping day.

No more buying baggy t-shirts,baggy dresses or baggy trousers for me.

One thing I couldn't buy was skinny jeans as I still have 'fat' legs.:)

And a compliment from my youngest who I haven't seen since May.'Mum where have you gone'.:)


Well done GF - I bet you feel great. Did you buy a dress? Rod loves dresses, so you should tell us all about it!!
 
Rod the Bass said:
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

chitchat thread......

Was just checking to see if you were paying attention!
 
Hey everyone i have been awol for over a week :( been extremely bad and tbh at the time didnt care been that stressed with work and the thought ov me losing my job that i hav stress eaten! I am here to face up to the consequences and i now know wat i hav dun and over the last 2 days i hav gotten back on it so please dish out the tough love as i deserve it sooo much!!!
I haventbeen on to tell ya all how bad i was doing as i really didnt feel strong enuff to face the tough love but now im back and rearing to go!!!
 
Hey everyone i have been awol for over a week :( been extremely bad and tbh at the time didnt care been that stressed with work and the thought ov me losing my job that i hav stress eaten! I am here to face up to the consequences and i now know wat i hav dun and over the last 2 days i hav gotten back on it so please dish out the tough love as i deserve it sooo much!!!
I haventbeen on to tell ya all how bad i was doing as i really didnt feel strong enuff to face the tough love but now im back and rearing to go!!!

Hi Emma. I was wondering where you have been.

I totally understand that the work situation is stressful but stress eating- for a week?! Why on earth did you do that? What did it really solve? What did it fix? Did it make you feel better? I'd bet good money that the answer to all of that is 'NO'.

You shouldn't have avoided us, you should have come here much, much earlier so that we could get you back on the straight and narrow sooner. I bet your attitude was 'Oh, I've screwed up now, may as well carry on'. Not cool. We all have wobbles and stresses in our lives but it's how you deal with it that matters. You should have been on here after the first wobble, because much as the tough love is TOUGH, we do it because we care and we want you to succeed. We want to help you deal with the stresses in your life in a way that doesn't involve food.

Firstly, you need to come up with a contingency plan for when you are stressed. A new way of dealing with it. You know what's a great stress reliever? Exercise. After a bad day at work, I love coming home and doing a run or heading out for a swim because the endorphins perk me up and it gives me something else to focus on. When you are stressed, I think you should make it your mission to do some exercise instead. This will help you lose weight and feel better. No more stress eating. More stress exercising!! The fact is, if you don't work out new ways to respond to situations that make you eat unnecessarily, you are going to continue to sabotage yourself!

Secondly, have you put on weight? If so, how much and what is your plan of attack for moving onwards and downwards (on the scale!)?

Thirdly, you've come so far Emma and done so well. You need to look at it from that perspective. If you continue to stress eat, you'll end up putting all the weight back on and feeling worse about yourself than you did at the beginning. The fact is that we are doing this to feel positive about ourselves. I get work is stressful but why does that mean you can't eat healthily? Your weight is a seperate issue in your life. Surely having something positive in one area of your life i.e. improving your health and fitness would make you feel better about things overall?

Take a good hard look at how you want to progress from here and how you want to tackle it. You can do it Emma, you just need to find that determination and keep focused. Did you write that letter Smiley suggested from Now You to Future You? I did and it's helped me this week when I've had a couple of wobbly days! I read it whenever I feel my resolve weakening. Maybe that'd help you too.
 
Emma! Very dissapointed in you.

Eating because you are stressed is a lousy excuse and I am not having it. It is weak and wimpy and the Tough Love Emma doesn't do weak and wimpy. You cannot eat like a donkey and loose weight, it is as simple as that. You say you want to loose weight, so act like it!

100% and nothing less this week, and I might be able to find it in my heart to forgive you. It is like that lifeboat scene in Titanic - we don't want no porkies on here bringing down the Tough Love lifeboat, so get yourself sorted out!
 
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