UmmZakaria's Open & Honest Diary
- Thread starter UmmZakaria
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HannahNewton
Loves to post
UmmZakaria
Full Member
Thank you 
It means a lot that you've all taken time out to reply!
I'm off to see my LLC this morning (taking Zaki with me so will take lots of things to distract him!) As I jumped on the scLes this morning I wondered if that had been what has triggered my binge yesterday - well I haven't lost anything so bugger it? Am going to discuss moving onto Lite once back from hols at the beginning of June to "finish off" and also about the Lite RTM. Have been reading up on it and was thinking that there's no reason why I couldn't repeat some weeks etc before stopping. The thought of it being only 4 weeks scares me but if I'm allowed to repeat weeks (and I'm sure they're bit going to turn the money away lol) then it may be a good option for me.
Zaki is still sleeping which is a bit of a turn up for the books so I'm lying in bed reading diaries and googling lol. Got my positive head on today and am feeling good. I'm going to smash this bloody 100% abstinence now right up until 23rd May when I go away
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It means a lot that you've all taken time out to reply!I'm off to see my LLC this morning (taking Zaki with me so will take lots of things to distract him!) As I jumped on the scLes this morning I wondered if that had been what has triggered my binge yesterday - well I haven't lost anything so bugger it? Am going to discuss moving onto Lite once back from hols at the beginning of June to "finish off" and also about the Lite RTM. Have been reading up on it and was thinking that there's no reason why I couldn't repeat some weeks etc before stopping. The thought of it being only 4 weeks scares me but if I'm allowed to repeat weeks (and I'm sure they're bit going to turn the money away lol) then it may be a good option for me.
Zaki is still sleeping which is a bit of a turn up for the books so I'm lying in bed reading diaries and googling lol. Got my positive head on today and am feeling good. I'm going to smash this bloody 100% abstinence now right up until 23rd May when I go away
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
Been reading your diary, what a journey, I think you have been so honest, many of us have felt the same urges before LL, and the fear is there that it ciuld happen to us.
Have strength in knowing that you are dealing with it, don't punish youself, you like us are human.
Also know we are all here to support you, you have done so so well, you will get there.
Jx
Have strength in knowing that you are dealing with it, don't punish youself, you like us are human.
Also know we are all here to support you, you have done so so well, you will get there.
Jx
UmmZakaria
Full Member
After a positive morning I believe that now! Thanks chick xx
UmmZakaria
Full Member
Good luck with the meeting. Discussing options is def a good idea esp when you're struggling.
Look at you taking control!
Sorry did you say you were a failure??
LOL - was on a real downer yesterday! Feel sooo much better for having a sit down with my LLC
UmmZakaria
Full Member
Week 11, Day 5
The good news is that I am feeling a lot more up-beat, positive and happy today! Thank you for all the replies yesterday - I was feeling really down and like a failure. I woke up this morning feeling better and now after sitting down with my wonderful LLC I feel sooooo much better.
We had a long chat and I realised that (bizarre as it may sound) that I've been getting myself in a tizz about failing & putting the weight back on, probably being brought to the forefront with my holiday coming up. I've been stressing for ages about what plan of action to take with going away and had more or less decided to go onto Lite. However my LLC thinks that starting RTM is the best way forward and after discussing it at length I completely agree. I feel as though I've had the BIGGEST weight lifted off my shoulders (which I guess I literally have.. 3 stone of it lol). I am going to start on Monday which gives me 2 weeks before my hols which means that I'll be on 2 packs a day and 2 light meals which sounds perfect. I can up my exercise and stop feeling guilty about wanting to eat as it will be allowed. She said that I don't need to be in abstinence any more and that it's started having a negative affect on me. I am so so excited and pleased to be starting RTM now and I think deep down it was what I was wanting to hear. I presumed that you couldn't really start it until you had a BMI of 25 but she says that anything below 27 is a great time to start. If I want to rebalance after my holiday and go back to 3 or 4 packs a day for a few weeks just to get to my goal quicker then I can do that but no pressure to decide now.
Anyway, I am dying to go off and read all my RTM literature now so will come back online later and read everyone else's diaries then.
HOpe you're all having a great day xxx
The good news is that I am feeling a lot more up-beat, positive and happy today! Thank you for all the replies yesterday - I was feeling really down and like a failure. I woke up this morning feeling better and now after sitting down with my wonderful LLC I feel sooooo much better.
We had a long chat and I realised that (bizarre as it may sound) that I've been getting myself in a tizz about failing & putting the weight back on, probably being brought to the forefront with my holiday coming up. I've been stressing for ages about what plan of action to take with going away and had more or less decided to go onto Lite. However my LLC thinks that starting RTM is the best way forward and after discussing it at length I completely agree. I feel as though I've had the BIGGEST weight lifted off my shoulders (which I guess I literally have.. 3 stone of it lol). I am going to start on Monday which gives me 2 weeks before my hols which means that I'll be on 2 packs a day and 2 light meals which sounds perfect. I can up my exercise and stop feeling guilty about wanting to eat as it will be allowed. She said that I don't need to be in abstinence any more and that it's started having a negative affect on me. I am so so excited and pleased to be starting RTM now and I think deep down it was what I was wanting to hear. I presumed that you couldn't really start it until you had a BMI of 25 but she says that anything below 27 is a great time to start. If I want to rebalance after my holiday and go back to 3 or 4 packs a day for a few weeks just to get to my goal quicker then I can do that but no pressure to decide now.
Anyway, I am dying to go off and read all my RTM literature now so will come back online later and read everyone else's diaries then.
HOpe you're all having a great day xxx
gracielou09
Silver Member
So glad you've sorted it out huni. Sounds like a really good plan of action and you sound so much happier.
Well done chick
xxx
Well done chick
xxx
HannahNewton
Loves to post
Sounds like a perfect plan for you. And you have the weekend to prepare for the transition into the world of food
xx
xx
Gembritney
Silver Member
thats great that you and ur LLC have come to a decision and you are both happy with it xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Well done, loving the 12s for you. Isn't LL wonderful? It just works.
UmmZakaria
Full Member
Thanks
That's so so true about making a decision. It feels good and I feel like I'm back in control again now. x
UmmZakaria
Full Member
Week 11, Day 6
Today's been a pretty good day - stepped on the scales this morning and still no change so I'm kind of thinking stuff it now, not that I'm eating but I'm not panicking about what I will weigh in at tomorrow when I go to my last abstinence group session! Yay
I've been thinking about how this is going to work as I still have a stone to lose to get to where I want to get to. I will be on week 3 of RTM when I go on holiday so when I get back I am thinking to go back to 3 packs a day and a week 2 meal until I've shifted most of the weight and then get cracking again with progressing with RTM. I don't want to go back to full abstinence again and don't want to keep switching groups. Does anyone know if this will be acceptable and a good option weight loss wise (I obviously understand nobody can predict my head state but does anyone know if it will be allowed and if I stick to it will I continue to lose??)
I went to see a friend today who I haven't seen since I started LL and she couldn't stop going on about how much weight I have lost and that felt great She has been thinking about a weight loss plan such as LL or CD and thinks she has now been persuaded!
I've made the decision that eating alone is something I am not going to actively try to do any more. Even whilst on LLT I have been trying to make sure I have my lunch pack whilst Zaki is napping or having my evening pack once he is in bed and dh is watching the tv. I have realised that eating in company as far as possible is much healthier for me in my head. I need to get out of the mentality of wanting to be alone with food. Food is most definitely not my friend but I want to get to the stage where I can enjoy meals with my husband and son and not be secretly wishing I was sat alone so that I could savour it more, have seconds or pick it to tiny pieces to make it last longer. I think I have developed some really unhealthy eating habits and binge purging is something that I am worried about so I'm trying to take the steps now to make sure that this isn't a road I go down.
I am really looking forward to my first "meal" on Monday night and getting down to some nitty gritty group work with the different LLC. She has a reputation for being a bit harsh etc. and I know a lot of the people in my group are a bit scared by her but I like her approach. I need to hear it how it is sometimes and she makes decisive action plans and that's what I need. Organisation is the key to me being in control, not just of food but in my life generally. I have a tendency to let things spiral out of control and bury my head in the sand - financially, workwise, in my relationships (husband, family and friends).
Today has been a good day and this is going to be a good week. Positive thinking is the way forward and I am going to make a conscious effort to give myself "pats on the back" this week instead of telling myself off over everything.
Hope you're all having a good weekend - here's to a good Saturday night xxx
Today's been a pretty good day - stepped on the scales this morning and still no change so I'm kind of thinking stuff it now, not that I'm eating but I'm not panicking about what I will weigh in at tomorrow when I go to my last abstinence group session! Yay
I've been thinking about how this is going to work as I still have a stone to lose to get to where I want to get to. I will be on week 3 of RTM when I go on holiday so when I get back I am thinking to go back to 3 packs a day and a week 2 meal until I've shifted most of the weight and then get cracking again with progressing with RTM. I don't want to go back to full abstinence again and don't want to keep switching groups. Does anyone know if this will be acceptable and a good option weight loss wise (I obviously understand nobody can predict my head state but does anyone know if it will be allowed and if I stick to it will I continue to lose??)
I went to see a friend today who I haven't seen since I started LL and she couldn't stop going on about how much weight I have lost and that felt great
She has been thinking about a weight loss plan such as LL or CD and thinks she has now been persuaded! I've made the decision that eating alone is something I am not going to actively try to do any more. Even whilst on LLT I have been trying to make sure I have my lunch pack whilst Zaki is napping or having my evening pack once he is in bed and dh is watching the tv. I have realised that eating in company as far as possible is much healthier for me in my head. I need to get out of the mentality of wanting to be alone with food. Food is most definitely not my friend but I want to get to the stage where I can enjoy meals with my husband and son and not be secretly wishing I was sat alone so that I could savour it more, have seconds or pick it to tiny pieces to make it last longer. I think I have developed some really unhealthy eating habits and binge purging is something that I am worried about so I'm trying to take the steps now to make sure that this isn't a road I go down.
I am really looking forward to my first "meal" on Monday night and getting down to some nitty gritty group work with the different LLC. She has a reputation for being a bit harsh etc. and I know a lot of the people in my group are a bit scared by her but I like her approach. I need to hear it how it is sometimes and she makes decisive action plans and that's what I need. Organisation is the key to me being in control, not just of food but in my life generally. I have a tendency to let things spiral out of control and bury my head in the sand - financially, workwise, in my relationships (husband, family and friends).
Today has been a good day and this is going to be a good week. Positive thinking is the way forward and I am going to make a conscious effort to give myself "pats on the back" this week instead of telling myself off over everything.
Hope you're all having a good weekend - here's to a good Saturday night xxx
weebles
AKA...the WEEB
Last abstinence class - well done YOU!!
Bet you have all kinds of emotions running through your head. You are making some wise choices about not eating alone..it is a social thing and although LLT we are kinda excluded (or feel it). We all must face eating with others again for the rest of our lives. You have thought that thru very well.
Isn't it GREAT when friends notice how well you have done? I think we stand just a little taller afterwards. To think that...you inspired someone to lose weight. FANTASTIC feeling. Pay it forward, so to speak.
Now get out of that old pattern of thinking - letting things spiral out of control. not helpful at all. Hun, we all have those patterns....me included. I go thru spurts of being OVER organized to days that I just don't give a crap and let things pile up, or don't cook, or whatever.
Dig out your LLT books and re read. Tips and patterns are there along with the ways to change the thought process.
Rootin for ya!! You know you can do this.
xx
Bet you have all kinds of emotions running through your head. You are making some wise choices about not eating alone..it is a social thing and although LLT we are kinda excluded (or feel it). We all must face eating with others again for the rest of our lives. You have thought that thru very well.
Isn't it GREAT when friends notice how well you have done? I think we stand just a little taller afterwards. To think that...you inspired someone to lose weight. FANTASTIC feeling. Pay it forward, so to speak.
Now get out of that old pattern of thinking - letting things spiral out of control. not helpful at all. Hun, we all have those patterns....me included. I go thru spurts of being OVER organized to days that I just don't give a crap and let things pile up, or don't cook, or whatever.
Dig out your LLT books and re read. Tips and patterns are there along with the ways to change the thought process.
Rootin for ya!! You know you can do this.
xx
