Weight loss again

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 63. Couldn't help it and i weighed in this morning. Was too curious to see what had happened in the last couple of days. 67.2kg.
200gr up but overall as a trend for the week it is maintenance. I am pleased and fine with that considering all that's been going on. It's all expected to be back to smooth and steady life-wise hence I am back onto the weight loss journey full on.
This week has pushed me back 1 week off my planned weight loss schedule but that is okay. I'm going to go back to 100%TS just for this week to kick me back into ketosis and put me back on track mentally. I will revisit at the end of the week if then I will go to 7/800 (which is most likely) or alternate depending on exercise.
Onwards and downwards.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Week 10. Day 64.
66.5kg (10.39st, 146.6lb)
Week loss=0.5kg (1.10lb)
Overall loss= 11.1kg (1.74st, 24.4lb).
Keep calm. Carry on.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 65. 67.3.
I'll be honest - finding it difficult getting back on track. Yday I had 3 exantes and 4l water, 5k steps but then I had some rum and dr pepper which led to a sandwich. Fair enough. I am trying again today. Need to stick to it for 3-4days and then Ill be fine. I just need to stick to it. Guess the kitchen will become banned area again for a bit. :/ I should be fine come Friday if I keep to it today. I can do it!

 

[a_kelpie]

You can do it. You're doing an amazing job, with what life has just thrown at you. Keep pushing but be kind to yourself. X

 

[Zedular]

Day 65. 67.3.
I'll be honest - finding it difficult getting back on track. Yday I had 3 exantes and 4l water, 5k steps but then I had some rum and dr pepper which led to a sandwich. Fair enough. I am trying again today. Need to stick to it for 3-4days and then Ill be fine. I just need to stick to it. Guess the kitchen will become banned area again for a bit. :/ I should be fine come Friday if I keep to it today. I can do it!

Keep going! I've been reading your diary and you've been a great inspiration for keeping going when things get tough! You've definitely got this in you!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 67. 66.3kg.
I am half way into the journey today. But dont feel much like celebrating just yet.
Tuesday (D65) I slipped again in the evening. Yesterday (D66) I finally pulled it together and had a first really good 100% TS day. So to speak today would be the second day of getting my body back into ketosis and my mind properly in the game. It is just the mind over matter thing. I'm going to stick to the comfort of TS for a little bit until I regain my confidence in being able to control all this again. I know I've done it initially and I can do it but emotionally I getting back to the 'not again', 'slipping up' and guilt tripping framework of thinking. Hence as I'm half way through what I feel I need to do, in order not to extend this weight loss plan forever or more than it is needed, is to simply find my confidence again that I can say 'no' to food and alcohol when I so wish to do.
It's not just a number on the scales or on my clothes that I care about. I simply want to be healthy to be here for my partner, family, kitties and future children. I want to be healthy mentally and physically to be able to enjoy what life has to offer and be strong enough to deal better with any stuff that will be thrown our way in the years to come. In all of this, confidence that I can keep to my own plan or get back to it after a while, are both key things for me. I'm doing this as this is one way in which I am being kind to myself - learning and becoming healthy. I dont want to be losing weight despite cheating, despite slipping up etc. I want to be losing weight knowing wholeheartedly that I am changing negative behaviour patterns and I am confident in the control I have over the things I can indeed control.
I felt hungry again yesterday. Expected. I expect the same today. I am giving myself as many comfy and pleaurable moments as I can to help me regain this control. Anything that means kind to oneself that does not involve consumption.
Roll on the next half of the journey. It can be done.

 

[AliGal]

This is a really important post, Alecto. And not just for you. Thank you.

 

[a_kelpie]

Agreed, amazing post, amazing self-awareness and strength. Right here with you.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Thanks guys xx

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 68. 66.1kg. 200gr down.
Yesterday I finished with almost 12k steps, one heavy session of aqua aerobics (only 4 of us in the class so the instructor made sure we each did stuff as well as possible...the weights done properly under water made my chest really tense - good stuff for my ever loosening bits and bobs around there), 5l water, and a good TS supplemented with 1 egg and 1 low fat cheese slice (bringing it up 150cals extra) to counter the extra exercise and put me in a good pattern with that (idea is: 'more exercise, grab a bit of protein and fat').
I have to say all my muscles are in pain after yesterdays class - good healthy pain as I call it. Small successes - my size 12 stiff trousers which were a bit uncomfortable 2 weeks ago, now fit with some space. Also need to dig out some smaller autumnal jackets as Im starting to look like a bit of a hobo with my now v loose jacket. Good one. Also 3 points away from official healthy BMI. Fingers crossed aye?
Had my alcohol counselling this morning and she's actually happy with my progress considering it all. Plan on that is to reduce it all to only Fridays and Saturdays as 'cue' days and ideas are in place to prevent it all during week days. But to continue the work on guilt trips (i.e. if Ive drunk less than the recommended national amount during a week, not to go into a rage towards myself).
Gonna have a haircut today. Been using my hair to hide my plump face mostly and now it goes down to my elbows. Impractical for the physical activities I'm planning to include progressively hence...needs a nice reshaping.
Well see how the rest of today goes.

 

[a_kelpie]

So great to read this post and see you so positive about smashing the next goals!

The exercise + extra fuel is what has been working to keep my head straight. Just something that's a protein/fat mouthful or three. It stops me feeling like I'm doing something mega-restrictive and dangerous, and it is building positive associations for me with working on myself and needing the right fuel to do that. It's not a reward, it just lets me do the work.

Underwater weights sound so hard! Great to hear about toning and clothes.... Oh man, are those ever the good bits!! Autumn/winter jackets are my favourite clothes. Like... some people might want to have lots of beautiful dresses or shoes... If I could have a whole wardrobe of leather jackets and wool coats and trenches... I would be in heaven.

Hope you love your new haircut!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Ps. In jeans Ive not worn in 2 years as I wasnt able to... They're my favourite. Chuffed!

 

[BigFatSis]

You look fab Alecto. I’m puzzled why you want to lose another 10kg. I’d be so chuffed if I looked like you do in your photo. Day 45 and still sticking to it but oh my days how miserable I am

 

[a_kelpie]

You look amazing! Favourite old jeans are a great pleasure.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

So great to read this post and see you so positive about smashing the next goals!

The exercise + extra fuel is what has been working to keep my head straight. Just something that's a protein/fat mouthful or three. It stops me feeling like I'm doing something mega-restrictive and dangerous, and it is building positive associations for me with working on myself and needing the right fuel to do that. It's not a reward, it just lets me do the work.

Underwater weights sound so hard! Great to hear about toning and clothes.... Oh man, are those ever the good bits!! Autumn/winter jackets are my favourite clothes. Like... some people might want to have lots of beautiful dresses or shoes... If I could have a whole wardrobe of leather jackets and wool coats and trenches... I would be in heaven.

Hope you love your new haircut!

Im totally there with you. The restrictive nature is too much on my "familiar" all or nothing pattern of thinking and truly gets me from being super good to rebelling against it. It's funny how the other day i had that trip to the chippy and honest - not craving it anymore. Thats me done with that sort of thoughts for a couple of months at least. And im realising now that's how I used to think/feel about these things back in the day and Ive not realised I lost it. Similarly...with the alcohol side of things, for me, i used to constantlt be able to have 1 lager, just that, and stop. Its the extra ones or the too frequent stuff just got added on in time.
Oh, I love jackets and autumn/winter clothes also, more so than dresses etc. I wish Id find a nice army-type long coat - only saw them for guys for the time being, nothing in female versions. Ill keep an eye out though!
I ran out of exante foods yesterday as I was out and about and took your babybel idea. It worked a treat! Thank you for sharing your strategy, it was a life saver for me yesterday.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

You look fab Alecto. I’m puzzled why you want to lose another 10kg. I’d be so chuffed if I looked like you do in your photo. Day 45 and still sticking to it but oh my days how miserable I am

Thank you BFS. It's multiple reasons the key ones being physically wanting to be out of the 'danger' zones (still not healthy BMI, mind you...and even if one looks okay im more concerned about fat build ups on the inside..) and giving myself the space to bounce a bit when life gets hard or my planned quit smoking journey in the months to come...its also about mentally being out of the danger zone as i still have an awkward relationship with food. So I've still got ways to go... Otherwise I still have a bunch of clothes I want to wear again and still dont fit in them. So...tonnes of reasons. I should post a before and after rather than just one progress photo - sorry about that - its just thay im not ready for the before/after picture...

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 69. Maintain.
Yesterday was a fine day. 13k steps, 4l water. I decided to have a drink day as it was Friday and to prevent any craving build up on that side in the week to come, until next Friday or Saturday. Otherwise id just restrict myself at the weekend and find it harder to keep to that during school nights and hence harder to reach that objective. Had 3 exantes supplemented by cheese and leaves, upping myself on purpose to 800cals to counterbalance the steps and alcohol intake. I was already in keto yesterday and still am given the recognisable taste I've got. A good healthy man-plan day while also enjoying life. I like that.

 

[a_kelpie]

Im totally there with you. The restrictive nature is too much on my "familiar" all or nothing pattern of thinking and truly gets me from being super good to rebelling against it. It's funny how the other day i had that trip to the chippy and honest - not craving it anymore. Thats me done with that sort of thoughts for a couple of months at least. And im realising now that's how I used to think/feel about these things back in the day and Ive not realised I lost it. Similarly...with the alcohol side of things, for me, i used to constantlt be able to have 1 lager, just that, and stop. Its the extra ones or the too frequent stuff just got added on in time.
Oh, I love jackets and autumn/winter clothes also, more so than dresses etc. I wish Id find a nice army-type long coat - only saw them for guys for the time being, nothing in female versions. Ill keep an eye out though!
I ran out of exante foods yesterday as I was out and about and took your babybel idea. It worked a treat! Thank you for sharing your strategy, it was a life saver for me yesterday.

Have to share my latest find with you, then... See attached! A huge indulgence especially mid-loss but I feel like I'll enjoy it even more when it's over-sized.

Well done on the maintain!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

@a_kelpie OMG that is amazing!! That's exactly what I'm looking for. Any shop recommendations? And you look soo fantastic. Is your weight loss really showing then already? I think you look amazing, well done you!
Ps. You are one good looking lady, btw!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Finally got the courage and jumped on my home crosstrainer today. 52mins! Oh yeah! And did some pushups and planks etc too for 5mins at the moment. Aiming for a full 15min strenght work out tomorrow morning man plan today due to that. Now back to my water bottle.