Day 15 - Friday - Continued
Hi Chicken, thanks for your message of support. I enjoyed reading your thread on your clothes shopping experience. I know you'll get there!
Hi Mandy, thanks hun! You'll get there! You've just had so much on your plate recently that it makes it hard to concentrate sometimes but look at the difference from where you are now to where you were before you embarked on the bonkers diet! Keep strong - and you look gorgeous now anyway!
FFS it's crack of dawn and what the heck am I doing up this time on a Saturday morning updating my diary???? I should be asleep in bed still!
I actually have a very busy day planned (all pleasurable/pampering stuff
) but I'll not go into that now, wouldn't want to "sneak preview" my Saturday entry would I?
(Don't get too excited - it's not that big a deal - just "mundane" stuff that I enjoy).
Anyway, Friday!
Had a busy afternoon at work so I was glad to get home. I sat down with a cup of coffee and a jelly pot and read the paper. Now for me that is progress, being such a freak for instant gratification. Usually I want my tea, and I want it now! If I don't then I'll throw my toys out of the pram!!! But even with a nice meal in prospect I was just nicely chilled.
Made my tea about 7pm and it was nice to actually cook something! As I mentioned earlier I had chicken provencal with carrots and broccoli. Yey! I'm almost a normal person again!!!! It tasted so good and the best bit was that I got to sit down with my flatmate and enjoy a meal together. It's something we obviously haven't been able to do for 6 months and it will also be not long that we won't be able to do it either.
I just want to enjoy these simple pleasures whilst I can!
BB was great although I really did think Mikey would make it to the end. Just shows how the public can turn on you if you have one bad week! Glad old snoozy is out. Is that woman a robot or what? Not sure about the old housemates going back. It's a bit old hat. Jon Tickle and all that! I guess we'll see what happens Tuesday!
I had my final pack of the day whilst watching the first BB show and once it was gone I began to get feelings of being deprived. Silly I know but once my last pack of the day has gone I mourn it! Have done it all through Foundation and whilst the first stage of management is so regimented I think the same will continue. The funny thing is that I was never an evening snacker before I started this diet. My danger time was always the time when I came home from work, when | would binge like crazy in replacement of a decent meal. I think the prospect of going without does really mess with your brain! My head thinks no food = starvation, when I'm certainly not undernourished - by a long shot!
My only choices left for the evening were hot drinks and jelly (and I had jellied myself out!) so I decided to distract myself instead. Using the time between the 2 BB shows I washed the evening meal pots and had a think about what was happening. I basically gave myself a good talking too (but in a nuturing manner I might add!). I have been trying to analyse the times when I MUST have food. So early in management I am still in ketosis and I do get some hunger pangs but generally hunger has not kicked in yet so I know I am not hungry. My mantra has recently become "so what do I really need?". Most of the time it has been stimulation (I get bored easily) or sleep (still feeling really tired a lot of the time). Last night I was obviously tired after a busy week and I knew I didn't need food and that I wasn't going to die by not eating something! So I made myself a nice cup of decaf coffee, sat down, watched the final part of BB and then went to bed. You know what? It felt great! I was in control and I felt proud of myself by delaying gratification and knowing I made positive choices to maintain this new body that I am enjoying so much.
